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I've seen quite a bit of discussion about diet changes....I've only partially instituted one for my own family. I stopped buying regular milk and we use "rice dream" instead. I use it for all recipes and at the table. When an occasion, meal, recipe calls for cheese....I began using the "hormone free" ones. This small change has made a bit of difference in my son. He never had real rage issues, but on occasion would argue just about anything. This reduction in milk seems to have helped. We went with rice becuase of the estrogen issues with soy.
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Hello Debbie,
My DS age 7 was just dx this fall too. So I too am learning all I can.
I have a question for everyone,
Yesterday the school called because DS was having a meltdown and they wanted me to pick him up from school. IS this right? Should they be sending him home? He was not harming anyone or himself. He was yelling and crying. This is the second time this has happened this year. I went up to the school to talk with DS. My heart breaks in these situations. Help please.
Personally, I would go and see about "putting him back together" so he could return to class. Depending on time of day, maybe have lunch with him. I've had days that I needed to spend "hanging out" in the volunteer room mostly cutting stuff for the kindergarten dept so that I was available to help with my son when he was struggling. I've only taken him home when the meltdown resulted in a migraine.
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With Flylady, I'm free to begin again in 2010
Hello Debbie,
Yesterday the school called because DS was having a meltdown and they wanted me to pick him up from school. IS this right? Should they be sending him home? He was not harming anyone or himself. He was yelling and crying. This is the second time this has happened this year. I went up to the school to talk with DS. My heart breaks in these situations. Help please.
Paula,
Does your son have an IEP in school or accommodations in place? If so, I believe the school should be able to handle his meltdowns if he is not harming others. Otherwise, this kind of behavior can lead to "learned helplessness" where he knows he will be sent home if things are too overwhelming or the work is too difficult for him to tackle.
I would ask the teacher what brings the meltdowns on. I would provide a blankie, a toy or a treat or whatever he needs to calm himself down. If there is an aide in the room, the aide can take the child to a quiet space/room and speak gently and quietly and calm him down. If the academic workload is too much, that needs to be reconsidered as well. Perhaps he's better off getting pulled out of class for math with a special ed teacher for example.
I would also try to work with the teacher to promote positive behavior. I'm sure the teacher already has tricks in place to keep the kids in line, but perhaps a star or sticker for your son would work wonders?
And who knows, maybe your son is getting sick or just having a bad day. It happens to every kid, but that doesn't mean they get sent home!
If truly your son is not harming others, I would request a meeting with the teacher(s) and work out a plan.
Does your son have Aspergers or an autism diagnosis? Either way, maybe he needs more rigid structure or rules in the classroom? I would find out what his trigger is.
Hope that helps,
Catherine
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Catherine
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined. SCS Autism Support Group
Personally, I would go and see about "putting him back together" so he could return to class. Depending on time of day, maybe have lunch with him. I've had days that I needed to spend "hanging out" in the volunteer room mostly cutting stuff for the kindergarten dept so that I was available to help with my son when he was struggling. I've only taken him home when the meltdown resulted in a migraine.
I have gone in on occasion to help calm him down. I wish I could be up there more to see him in the classroom but I still have 2 little ones at home. But I do try to make an unplanned visit to see him in the classroom once in a while. Thank you for your help.
Paula,
Does your son have an IEP in school or accommodations in place? If so, I believe the school should be able to handle his meltdowns if he is not harming others. Otherwise, this kind of behavior can lead to "learned helplessness" where he knows he will be sent home if things are too overwhelming or the work is too difficult for him to tackle.
I would ask the teacher what brings the meltdowns on. I would provide a blankie, a toy or a treat or whatever he needs to calm himself down. If there is an aide in the room, the aide can take the child to a quiet space/room and speak gently and quietly and calm him down. If the academic workload is too much, that needs to be reconsidered as well. Perhaps he's better off getting pulled out of class for math with a special ed teacher for example.
I would also try to work with the teacher to promote positive behavior. I'm sure the teacher already has tricks in place to keep the kids in line, but perhaps a star or sticker for your son would work wonders?
And who knows, maybe your son is getting sick or just having a bad day. It happens to every kid, but that doesn't mean they get sent home!
If truly your son is not harming others, I would request a meeting with the teacher(s) and work out a plan.
Does your son have Aspergers or an autism diagnosis? Either way, maybe he needs more rigid structure or rules in the classroom? I would find out what his trigger is.
Hope that helps,
Catherine
My son has Aspergers. His teacher this year is not as wonderful as the one he had last year and that has been hard on him and us. Communication has been a problem. We are pushing for an aide in the class for him. Yesterday our psycharist did a phone conference with the school and worked out some of the issues. I agree with you about him expecting to go home in these situations, if they continue like this. And I spoke to the principal about that also. And when I went up there on Tuesday, we stayed until the end of the school day.
What can anyone tell me about Risperdal? We have been talking with our dr. about meds and I would love to hear some personal accounts about this.
Thank you all for replying to my questions. You are a lot of help.
Paula,
It sounds like you are totally on top of it. I'm sure you are worried sick, but you are doing your best and not giving up and staying in touch with the school. If the school continues to "not communicate" with you or continues to send your son home or continues to give you a hard time, please push for a formal IEP or 504 accommodations so that supports are legally in place and in writing for your son.
What state or country are you in? Perhaps there are others on this board who can help you with specifics to your town or state.
I do not have any experience with Risperdal, but please consider any medications with lots of thought and research. Make sure you are not being pressured to put your son on meds simply because his behavior is not convenient for the school.
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Catherine
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined. SCS Autism Support Group
I stopped buying regular milk and we use "rice dream" instead....
Super quick...Rice Dream is not gluten free for those who are considering a GFCF diet.
Deb--I'm glad the changes worked so quickly and so wonderfully for you!!!!
__________________
Catherine
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined. SCS Autism Support Group
Paula,
It sounds like you are totally on top of it. I'm sure you are worried sick, but you are doing your best and not giving up and staying in touch with the school. If the school continues to "not communicate" with you or continues to send your son home or continues to give you a hard time, please push for a formal IEP or 504 accommodations so that supports are legally in place and in writing for your son.
What state or country are you in? Perhaps there are others on this board who can help you with specifics to your town or state.
I do not have any experience with Risperdal, but please consider any medications with lots of thought and research. Make sure you are not being pressured to put your son on meds simply because his behavior is not convenient for the school.
We are in Illinois. DS does have an IEP in place. It's just getting that IEP to meet all his needs now. (He qualified as speech in KDG.) As for the meds I have been debating them for awhile. When my DS had a dx of ADHD I refused to put him on meds. And now it is not so much the school pushing as us wanting to help our DS. But every appointment with the Dr. that we talk about meds, I'm a wreck. I have a very good friend that keeps reminding me that we have tried a lot of things for DS first and not to feel bad. But it is a huge step to make. The Dr. feels that we need to level his mood in order for some of the interventions at school to work. But she also stressed to the school that they need to be more creative with their interventions. It's all a lot to think about. Thanks for your imput.
Super quick...Rice Dream is not gluten free for those who are considering a GFCF diet.
Deb--I'm glad the changes worked so quickly and so wonderfully for you!!!!
Really?!! I've been getting Rice Dream that has a little red triangle with "gluten free" on it! How can they label it GF and not have it be GF?!! crap!
We have been able to take down all the child proof gates and Kayla has the run of the house and she playes in her room with her sister, they play kitchen and with the Little People, ever since she started school in Sept she has shown great improvement and yesterday while having her CrainoSacral therapy she asked me to play "hide and go seek" I coulcn't believe it, she is counting to 10 with her fingers, naming all her colors, saying her name, and Alyssa's name. It is so wonderful!!!
Really?!! I've been getting Rice Dream that has a little red triangle with "gluten free" on it! How can they label it GF and not have it be GF?!! crap!
Maybe it is gluten free now???? I was always told it wasn't because it is processed with some kind of malted or barley malt process. Barley is not considered one of the allergens that needs to be listed on packaging, however I would hope that a company knows that Gluten Free means no barley. Sorry if I am giving misleading info!!!! I was always told to avoid the Rice Dream--maybe they changed their formula?
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Catherine
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined. SCS Autism Support Group
Karen,
I'm so psyched to hear about your daughter's progress! Every little thing is such a blessing with our ASD kids. It sounds like she has a lot of imaginative play going on which is a GREAT sign for future development! Congratulations!!!!
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Catherine
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined. SCS Autism Support Group
We use rice dream with no problems in our house on a rotating basis with a couple others. I have been told by some friends with Celiac disease not to, but our nutritionist says it should be ok.
Here is a link to the company Q & A so you can judge for yourself.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
-Nichole
I haven't been visiting here for awhile and just wanted to check in! DS is doing well, he is soooo excited as grandma is coming on Monday! All my kids get excited, but he just gets over the moon! So far he is doing fine with not being in school, but I do know that we will have some off days because of the lack of routine. DH and I are wondering when we should ease him into the idea that Santa isn't really real. (he is 14) We don't want him to get out 'on his own' and wonder why he didn't get anything in his stocking! My 11yo found out last year and DD is getting there. Does anyone have any advise?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abmurray
I haven't been visiting here for awhile and just wanted to check in! DS is doing well, he is soooo excited as grandma is coming on Monday! All my kids get excited, but he just gets over the moon! So far he is doing fine with not being in school, but I do know that we will have some off days because of the lack of routine. DH and I are wondering when we should ease him into the idea that Santa isn't really real. (he is 14) We don't want him to get out 'on his own' and wonder why he didn't get anything in his stocking! My 11yo found out last year and DD is getting there. Does anyone have any advise?
We just had the "Santa" talk with DS - 12 and DD - 10.5. Last year DS wrote in his Santa letter that he didn't want to know if he was real or not. He started middle school this year, so we figured it was time. He took it well. DH broached it as, would you be upset if you found out that Santa was really your parents? He took it well. I think it also took the pressure off of him to "be good". We've always tried to downplay the whole Santa's naughty and nice list stuff as it really stressed DS out, which of course made the behavior tank He gets easily over stimulated this time of year. We had some ups and downs right after Thanksgiving, but seem to have turned the corner after the talk and he realized that he will always get the thing he wants from "Santa" because it's really us giving it to him and we know he is trying his hardest to "do the right thing".
DD was starting to question the whole thing - especially how he gets around the world in 24 hrs. She was more put out that we were the ones who ate the cookies, although she did try to play the "You lied to me." card, but the way she said it we knew she was joking.
I think it depends on the kid. But, I'm glad the truth is out and we didn't have any drama about it!
We approached Santa in a different way altogether. DS knows that he isn't the guy in the red suit at the mall. We told him that anyone could be Santa that "Santa" was the spirit of giving during the holiday season (not just Christmas itself) and that the best way to give a gift anonomously was to say it was from Santa. Then there's no who gave what to who, just the warm smiles from those who recieved.
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My DS is 7 with autism and I have been struggling with the whole idea of even introducing him to the concept of Santa for the past 2 Christmases. (you know, making a big deal about it and all) Tonight, DH asked DS if he knew who brought the presents and his reply was "Mom". So DH tried to tell him it was Santa and DS insisted "Santa did not bring presents, it's Mom!" Guess that takes care of that!!!!!
Doesn't really help, but I thought it was cute!
My DS is 7 with autism and I have been struggling with the whole idea of even introducing him to the concept of Santa for the past 2 Christmases. (you know, making a big deal about it and all) Tonight, DH asked DS if he knew who brought the presents and his reply was "Mom". So DH tried to tell him it was Santa and DS insisted "Santa did not bring presents, it's Mom!" Guess that takes care of that!!!!!
Doesn't really help, but I thought it was cute!
I don't post here often but would like to ask for a little input. I want to write a book about high-functioning autism--a collection of essays on topics I would like to have read about when my DS was diagnosed. I want the book to be similar in tone to my blog...informal, on the lighter side, more like sitting down to coffee with a good friend than going to a lecture at a conference or a college class, KWIM? I'm not interested in adding to the ever-expanding collection of mommy memoirs...there are plenty of those out there and some are really quite good.
Do you think it would be a good idea for me to start an autism blog to get input from other people? That way, the book can incorporate other perspectives as well. I've been toying with the idea and a plan is emerging. I would post a question, let's say once a week, and ask people to comment, share their stories and experiences relating to the question. They can email me with contact information if they don't mind my using their stories directly in the book or I can just use their comments anonymously if I needed them.
Would you visit or subscribe to such a blog? If so, would you share your experiences with the understanding that you might be quoted in a book? Would you be uncomfortable with this? Why or why not?
Hi everyone. This is not meant to stir any debate about the pharmaceutical industry and autism, but I wanted to pass along that a friend of mine has wrote a new fiction book that was just released: http://www.kaythomas.net/Kay_Thomas/Welcome.html
As a parent of a child with autism, I just like to support other moms in their ventures. Have a great day!
Okay, I promise, my last "plug". I just love to share resources with others. Some other local parents developed this website and it has great video resources: http://www.autismspot.com/.
I don't post here often but would like to ask for a little input. I want to write a book about high-functioning autism--a collection of essays on topics I would like to have read about when my DS was diagnosed. I want the book to be similar in tone to my blog...informal, on the lighter side, more like sitting down to coffee with a good friend than going to a lecture at a conference or a college class, KWIM? I'm not interested in adding to the ever-expanding collection of mommy memoirs...there are plenty of those out there and some are really quite good.
Do you think it would be a good idea for me to start an autism blog to get input from other people? That way, the book can incorporate other perspectives as well. I've been toying with the idea and a plan is emerging. I would post a question, let's say once a week, and ask people to comment, share their stories and experiences relating to the question. They can email me with contact information if they don't mind my using their stories directly in the book or I can just use their comments anonymously if I needed them.
Would you visit or subscribe to such a blog? If so, would you share your experiences with the understanding that you might be quoted in a book? Would you be uncomfortable with this? Why or why not?
Thanks in advance for any input you can give me.
I think that a book like this would be good for other parents. I would post to a blog like this. Answering a question each week would keep it moving.
Would you include parents of Aspies as well or just parents of children with HFA?
Okay, I promise, my last "plug". I just love to share resources with others. Some other local parents developed this website and it has great video resources: http://www.autismspot.com/.
WOW Kim! I have never seen this site. Thanks so much for telling us about it.
I think that a book like this would be good for other parents. I would post to a blog like this. Answering a question each week would keep it moving.
Would you include parents of Aspies as well or just parents of children with HFA?
Melinda
To answer your question, I'm all about inclusion! I would love to hear from anyone with children/friends/relatives at the high-functioning end of the spectrum, as well as /teens adults who are on the spectrum.
My son, who is on the autism spectrum, is in afternoon special ed pre-K this year. He will turn 5 in August and therefore meets the cutoff of August 31 to attend kindergarten in the fall. The school is pushing for him to go to kindergarten and I am not so sure that would be the best thing for him. They have said that maybe he could repeat kindergarten. I'm not so sure sending him off to kindy this year would be the best thing for him. His main problems are social and language. I think kindergarten might be too much.
I am going to observe the inclusion kindergarten tomorrow afternoon. What kinds of questions should I ask? What should I be looking for?
Has anyone else had this issue of a young 5 with special needs or autism being pushed to enter kindergarten before you thought they were ready?
I would appreciate any advice or personal experience anyone can give!
My son, who is on the autism spectrum, is in afternoon special ed pre-K this year. He will turn 5 in August and therefore meets the cutoff of August 31 to attend kindergarten in the fall. The school is pushing for him to go to kindergarten and I am not so sure that would be the best thing for him. They have said that maybe he could repeat kindergarten. I'm not so sure sending him off to kindy this year would be the best thing for him. His main problems are social and language. I think kindergarten might be too much.
I am going to observe the inclusion kindergarten tomorrow afternoon. What kinds of questions should I ask? What should I be looking for?
Has anyone else had this issue of a young 5 with special needs or autism being pushed to enter kindergarten before you thought they were ready?
I would appreciate any advice or personal experience anyone can give!
Talk to your doctor and/or Therapists that work with your child and get their opinion. Sometimes the advice of those that work directly with your child, but are not emotionally involved can help you with observations and can help you make a best informed decision.
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I'm a Stampin' Flybaby
care to see My Gallery? (I'd LOVE your opinion!)
With Flylady, I'm free to begin again in 2010
My son, who is on the autism spectrum, is in afternoon special ed pre-K this year. He will turn 5 in August and therefore meets the cutoff of August 31 to attend kindergarten in the fall. The school is pushing for him to go to kindergarten and I am not so sure that would be the best thing for him. They have said that maybe he could repeat kindergarten. I'm not so sure sending him off to kindy this year would be the best thing for him. His main problems are social and language. I think kindergarten might be too much.
I am going to observe the inclusion kindergarten tomorrow afternoon. What kinds of questions should I ask? What should I be looking for?
Has anyone else had this issue of a young 5 with special needs or autism being pushed to enter kindergarten before you thought they were ready?
I would appreciate any advice or personal experience anyone can give!
My son also has an Aug birthday, and he attended the public preschool for two years before going to K this year. His preschool teacher recommended delaying his starting K until he was 6, which we did. This has worked great for us, but I and his teachers, therapists, and doctor were all on the same page about holding him back from K until he was 6, so it was an easy call.
I think kids are all so different that the best thing to do is get advice from his current teacher, doctor, and therapists. The more input you can get, the better. They work with him and should have a good feel for what he can and can't do in a classroom setting. But if you have reservations, the school should be listening to you and addressing your concerns, not dismissing them.
Our district has such high standards for K that most of the typical kids are older...most at least turn 6 in the first half of the school year. It didn't make sense to push a special needs child like my son who had social/speech/OT/PT issues and who had just turned five into that environment. Perhaps your school district is more in tune with age-appropriate education and doesn't push so hard.
Good luck viewing the inclusion class. I'd look for things like supports for kids who are advanced and behind (how responsive to individual education needs is the class, or are they trying to "normalize" everyone because that's easier on the teacher?), organization and structure in the classroom (how easy is it for the kids to move around from one activity to the next), and how much sensory clutter there is (if your son has sensory issues).
Thanks for your input ladies. I've been compiling a list of questions and things to look for. I'm curious to see the inclusion classroom tomorrow.
I've brought this issue up with the director of the special ed preschool (she is the one pushing me to send him to kindergarten), his teacher, his developmental pedi, and the neurologist. His teacher would only say that she has to tell me that he meets the cut off to go to kindergarten....I'm going to try to get her to tell me her honest opinion during the conference in a few weeks. The developmental pedi and neurologist both said he would benefit from another year of preschool. We just saw a psychologist at the children's hospital yesterday and we'll get that report in a few weeks with her recommendation.
Anyone else have this issue with a young 5 being pushed to enter kindergarten? I'd love to hear more thoughts on this!
From the eyes of a past Kdg. teacher, I would hold him out for a year. Many boys with that late birthday have trouble in Kdg. A child who has social and language issues, even more so needs that extra year, in my opinion.
From a Mom standpoint, go with your gut. This is your child and no one cares for him or knows him like you do. It is hard to stand up to the school(I know cuz I've been there with my son on different issues.) but this will set the course for all future interactions with the school. If they see in the begining you are willing to fight for your child, the next battles may not be as big. Just my opinion. And I don't mean to sound harsh about school systems, it's just they don't always look at what is best for the child.
I would definitely follow your feelings of wanting to hold him back. If he wasn't going to preschool I might say send him just for the social aspect, but since he is I would hold off. Just to let you know we had wanted our son to repeat a grade (grade 6) and the school board refused! so now is your chance to let him mature a little more! Good luck with it!
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Ann AKA Stalkin' with one foot in my mouth My Gallery
What about 1/2 days? My son (sept 4 b-day) went to K at 4 years old for 1/2 days to help with speech but slowly fully included him in class. Then he repeated K when he was 5 full days. It was great because it slowly introduced him to school without being overwhelming. And he had lots of one-on-one time with his aide. It may be a option.
A little sad news today:
Karen Chase's husband passed away this morning. Her daughter Kayla (who I think is only 3 yrs old?) is on the autistic spectrum and her husband was diagnosed last year with cancer. Please say some prayers for the family. There is a thread about Michael's journey here.
Cards can be sent to:
The Chase Family
114 Concord Road
Billerica, MA 01821
__________________
Catherine
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined. SCS Autism Support Group
A little sad news today:
Karen Chase's husband passed away this morning. Her daughter Kayla (who I think is only 3 yrs old?) is on the autistic spectrum and her husband was diagnosed last year with cancer. Please say some prayers for the family. There is a thread about Michael's journey here.
Cards can be sent to:
The Chase Family
114 Concord Road
Billerica, MA 01821
Thank you so much for the information-my heart goes out to their family. I will get a card made and out to them.
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Ann AKA Stalkin' with one foot in my mouth My Gallery
Hello everyone!
I haven't been on this thread for some time - been very busy.
My 12 yr old son was diagnosed when he was 3 with severe Autism. Today, he is a "high functioning" autistic. He is in Junior High and in some spec ed classes and some regular classes.
I read a few posts of the melt-downs in school. We went through that. I think most of parents do. We would go to school and at first bring DS home. Then we got in his IEP that they give him a quiet room where he could be alone until he was ready to talk or go back to class. Sometimes it took up to an hour before he was ready. We did the same at home for him. Sometimes if he is not ready to talk about what was bothering him, the picture boards helped. Now he can write what it is.
THey rarely happen now in school. We only had 2 episodes all year. Much better than weekly.
I love the idea of a blog!
SCRAPBOOKMONSTER - my DS was used to going to 'school' as he started Early Childhood at age 3 but they were 1/2 days. When he went to kindergarten, it was a full day and took a few weeks to adjust but it went pretty good.
Make sure the teachers are knowledgeable about autism. I still meet with DS's teachers before school starts and have a little special meeting. We talk all about DS and his likes/dislikes/behaviors and so on. It really helps the teachers to look for signs of a possible meltdown as our kids can't really speak their needs/wants. This has made a big difference on how the adjustment to school years goes.
We got called to school as DS2 got into a little fight. He is Autistic and some things we cannot get him to understand that he cannot hit anyone else for any reason. He hit another boy that was kind of teasing him just once and this boy hit him back. I understand that and I basically expect that. Well one of DS2's friends beat on the boy pretty bad for it. He has 2 black eyes and possibly loose teeth. Now DS2 and his friend are charged for battery. I also understand this.
We will have to go to court and he will placed on supervison and whatever else happens. DH and I are thinking now that the junior high is not the place for DS2 anymore. We are going to look into and try to find an alternative. We would love for him to go the charter school that DS1 is in but i have a feeling his school will not approve of it and do the reccomendation.
THis whole thing is just so stressful and really makes us worry about when DS2 is older and how he is going to handle things. We already have him in counseling. He is a high functioning autistic but he still knows he is different than the other kids. He only has 3 friends. If anyone has any good schooling options, please share.
meluvstampin
Surely the school system can't allow your son to remain in his current situation if he is hurting others. Believe me, I am NOT blaming you or your son, but from the school's point of view, it certainly is in their best interests to put him in a different school. They don't want to be sued.
Is the charter school equipped to handle kids with special needs? Is there a boarding school that could accommodate your son? Is there a Wisconsin autism organization that could help you find a good fit in terms of schooling? Or at least get you hooked up with other parents w/ASD kids who you could talk to about placement options?
This is extremely stressful!!! I feel for you! My son was also diagnosed w/severe autism at 2 and is now very high functioning and mainstreamed in 1st grade. I can totally see though how social situations are confusing to him despite the outward appearance of "normalcy".
Hang in there!! (((HUGS)))
__________________
Catherine
More children will be diagnosed with autism this year than with AIDS, diabetes and cancer combined. SCS Autism Support Group
He gets easily over stimulated this time of year. We had some ups and downs right after Thanksgiving, but seem to have turned the corner after the talk and he realized that he will always get the thing he wants from "Santa" because it's really us giving it to him and we know he is trying his hardest to "do the right thing".
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