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Old 02-05-2008, 04:35 AM   #1161
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I just saw this wonderful thread that was posted and wanted to share it with all of you!
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to Autism Speaks
for *each time* the video is viewed the funding goes toward research
studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link
below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family.
They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass
this goal.

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant....view/id/408214
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Old 02-06-2008, 05:39 AM   #1162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abmurray View Post
I just saw this wonderful thread that was posted and wanted to share it with all of you!
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to Autism Speaks
for *each time* the video is viewed the funding goes toward research
studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link
below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family.
They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass
this goal.

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant....view/id/408214
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This video makes me cry every time I watch it. It was sent to me a few weeks ago and I sent it to everyone I knew would care and watch it.

thanks for posting it here so maybe more people will watch it and pass it on!
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Old 02-10-2008, 04:46 PM   #1163
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Originally Posted by abmurray View Post
I just saw this wonderful thread that was posted and wanted to share it with all of you!

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant....view/id/408214
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The link is amazing it's really useful for explaining to your friends and relatives what it might be like for your autistic child.

I'm new to this thread and I have a 2.5 yo DS with autism. I was wondering if any of you out there have had difficulty with your autistic children and the arrival of new children.
We have a 2.5 month old DS and our older son Sam cries and gets really upset if Lukas cries..it seems like he is annoyed. Sam won't look and the baby and won't come to anyone who's holding the baby...is this age appropriate, is there anything I can do to "make" him acknowledge his new baby brother?

thanks for any advice
k
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Old 02-10-2008, 05:05 PM   #1164
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I know my Sister didn't have much trouble with DS when his little brother was born, but Jared is pretty social for an autistic child. I do know that she always made sure that he knew his brother wasn't replacing him. It might be helpful to have family interact with DS before the baby. That is pretty normal behavior for a 2.5 yo anyway with a new sibling. A child with autisim just expresses it a bit differently. Debbie
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Old 02-10-2008, 06:01 PM   #1165
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We have a 2.5 month old DS and our older son Sam cries and gets really upset if Lukas cries..it seems like he is annoyed. Sam won't look and the baby and won't come to anyone who's holding the baby...is this age appropriate, is there anything I can do to "make" him acknowledge his new baby brother?k
I relate to your situation. My DS#2 HATES crying of all types and would totally shut down if we were at a store with a crying baby or if I was holding a baby he would be really jealous.

I spoke to a psychologist/doctor at an autistic center about it (at the time DS#2 was about 2.5 yrs old). The doctor said it's good that he is showing empathy (oooookaaaay, way to look at the positive side of things) and that more exposure to crying would actually lessen his sensitivity to it.

We didn't actually expose him to more crying because I think that would have been like torture, but I can definitely say that over time he has calmed down and is not so sensitive to it anymore. He is now 6 years old. I can see when he is uncomfortable, but at least he's not shutting down completely and having a complete meltdown himself.

The other thing to keep in mind is that yes, he probably is reacting like a typical older child who now has a younger sibling and wants mommy's attention. Personally for me, having #2 was really tough and it took a long time for all of us to become adjusted to it all. Be sure to give yourself a break and get help! Also, spend a lot of one-on-one time with Sam if you can so that he doesn't feel left out.

I'm sure there are lots of others out there who can share their stories too.

Breathe.
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Old 02-10-2008, 07:02 PM   #1166
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I spoke to a psychologist/doctor at an autistic center about it (at the time DS#2 was about 2.5 yrs old). The doctor said it's good that he is showing empathy (oooookaaaay, way to look at the positive side of things) .
That's so funny because friends and family keep saying how nice it is that Sam has feelings of empathy towards his little brother, but I always thought is was more of an expression of aggravation towards him

DH and I are definitely spending quality time with Sam and hoping that he sees that we still really dig him too - despite a new arrival

Kids are tricky
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Old 02-11-2008, 05:39 AM   #1167
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My Ds w/ autism wouldn't even look the baby close up for about a week, then curiousity took over. I constantly tried to include him with baby things, encouraged him to hold him. Ds is 7 and baby DS is 1 1/2. They play and have a GREAT time together now. As for crying, it is still an issue. I assumed it was just the loudness of the noise. He is sensitive to loud noise. Depending on the state of mind Ds 1 is in, he can tolerate mild crying. It gets better for the most part, but sometimes may feel as though it does not. I try reassure and get DS1 to calm down and relax and focus, usually by talking softly and calmly to him. The baby is usually crying over something he can't have anyway, so I let him have his fit! (that sounded mean, but you know tantrums....). Here's this big word...PATIENCE!!!

.
We have a 2.5 month old DS and our older son Sam cries and gets really upset if Lukas cries..it seems like he is annoyed. Sam won't look and the baby and won't come to anyone who's holding the baby...is this age appropriate, is there anything I can do to "make" him acknowledge his new baby brother?

thanks for any advice
k[/QUOTE]
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Old 02-11-2008, 05:41 AM   #1168
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OPPS< My quote thing didn't seem to work last reply!!!!!
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Old 02-11-2008, 09:17 PM   #1169
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haven't posted in a while, but I felt the need to share this time. Our son 1 used to put his hand over son 4's mouth when he cried. I was mortified. I just knew that he was accidentally going to smother the baby. (He was 9 at the time). I didn't have any one to turn to then. I am so glad that this thread is here now to help. He is doing better with loud noises now. He usually plugs his ears.
He has also finally graduated from the tech and is now doing an apprenticship in computer repair. There is a small beginning to shine for his future. I need to check in here more often and see how all of you are doing. Hang in there.
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Old 02-12-2008, 03:47 AM   #1170
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Originally Posted by Tamburasi View Post
The link is amazing it's really useful for explaining to your friends and relatives what it might be like for your autistic child.

I'm new to this thread and I have a 2.5 yo DS with autism. I was wondering if any of you out there have had difficulty with your autistic children and the arrival of new children.
We have a 2.5 month old DS and our older son Sam cries and gets really upset if Lukas cries..it seems like he is annoyed. Sam won't look and the baby and won't come to anyone who's holding the baby...is this age appropriate, is there anything I can do to "make" him acknowledge his new baby brother?

thanks for any advice
k
Welcome to you k! My son is 14 now and still has issues with my other 2 crying and loud noises, but we have taught him that if it is too noisy that he can leave the room and go somewhere that is a bit quieter or plug his ears-yes it did take lots of time for him to catch on! But I still think that having other siblings was the best thing for him, he re-learned/learned a lot of other skills from them as they grew up.
Something else we tried that wasn't as successful for us is a small radio with headphones, I know you can't predict when your baby will cry, but it may be an option that when it does happen it is another alternative for your son. Glad you found us!
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Old 02-12-2008, 06:13 AM   #1171
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Ann
You got me thinking. I wonder if ear muffs would work. They're soft and portable. They don't provide any more stimulation (ie. music). The person could put them on and have a sense of control when needed...just thinking outloud. I'm probably thinking this because it's so #$%%^&^&()(^*&%%@ cold right now. LOL.
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:18 PM   #1172
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Ann
You got me thinking. I wonder if ear muffs would work. They're soft and portable. They don't provide any more stimulation (ie. music). The person could put them on and have a sense of control when needed...just thinking outloud. I'm probably thinking this because it's so #$%%^&^&()(^*&%%@ cold right now. LOL.
Catherine-I just had to tell you that I love what you put in your siggy line.
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:25 PM   #1173
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This latest discussion is very interesting to me. MY DH and I are currently struggling to decide whether we should have more children.

DS was recently diagnosed as Autistic and I've been having a very hard time lately. DS started special ed preschool in January and his behavior has been HORRIBLE after he gets home. By the end of the day I am wiped and I can't imagine dealing with another child right now....but I always wanted more than one.

We had friends over this weekend and they brought their one-year old daughter. DS was actually fine with me holding her and playing with her-as long as he could be right there next to me. It's me talking to my girlfriend that gets him upset and obnoxious. Being around that baby really made me want another! My DS actually doesn't mind loud noises--he is actually very loud himself. I've always said that it was a bad sign that the NICU nurse told me he was the loudest baby she ever had!
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Old 02-12-2008, 05:27 PM   #1174
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Catherine-I just had to tell you that I love what you put in your siggy line.
Actually-would you mind if I put that in MY siggy line too?
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Old 02-12-2008, 07:33 PM   #1175
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Actually-would you mind if I put that in MY siggy line too?
Oh wow! I'm totally flattered. Yes! Please spread the word! It seems like some folks are finding this thread by accident. I'm sure there are many more parents of autistic kids out there.

I just changed my siggy line today actually. I've had Kiefer Sutherland (24) and WWJBD (What would Jack Bauer Do?) forever and I don't think he's coming back until January 2009.
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Old 02-13-2008, 05:14 AM   #1176
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Oh wow! I'm totally flattered. Yes! Please spread the word! It seems like some folks are finding this thread by accident. I'm sure there are many more parents of autistic kids out there.

I just changed my siggy line today actually. I've had Kiefer Sutherland (24) and WWJBD (What would Jack Bauer Do?) forever and I don't think he's coming back until January 2009.
I tried to change my siggy line but that sentence was too long and wrapped around so I got an error message saying I can only have 3 lines?

I see that you are in NJ--where in NJ do you live? I lived in NJ for a couple years before we moved down to Delaware-which is where we are now.

I just signed up for the DAN conference in Cherry Hill for April. I really don't know much about that way of treating Autism and want to learn more about GFCF and the other biomedical stuff.
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Old 02-13-2008, 05:27 AM   #1177
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Hi Kim,
Make sure that your cursor is at the end of the sentence and not on the next line. I had trouble too until I pressed delete (or backspace?) and got the cursor up to the end of the sentence.

I'm in Fanwood --Union County near Scotch Plains/Westfield. I'm afraid to go to a DAN conference. I know that sounds strange. I am easily overwhelmed! And continuously guilt ridden.

We are doing GFCF. I do a few supplements. The leading DAN doctor around here is Neubrander. He advocates/invented the MB12 shots.

I need to find a doctor who will embrace DAN, but not force it down my throat. I need someone who can understand alternative and traditional medicines. I need someone who will look at my DS for who he is and who can customize a program just for him. I need someone who understands what it's like to live with special needs kids 24/7. Ahhhhh, it's nice to dream.....
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Old 02-13-2008, 05:35 AM   #1178
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Default USA Today Ad

Here's the ad that ran in USA Today on 2/12.

I am not against vaccines, but I do think this ad clearly illustrates how many vaccines we are giving our kids in such a short amount of time.
Attached Files
File Type: pdf usa today autism ad.pdf (323.6 KB, 22 views)
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Old 02-13-2008, 06:02 AM   #1179
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Hi Kim,
Make sure that your cursor is at the end of the sentence and not on the next line. I had trouble too until I pressed delete (or backspace?) and got the cursor up to the end of the sentence.

I'm in Fanwood --Union County near Scotch Plains/Westfield. I'm afraid to go to a DAN conference. I know that sounds strange. I am easily overwhelmed! And continuously guilt ridden.

We are doing GFCF. I do a few supplements. The leading DAN doctor around here is Neubrander. He advocates/invented the MB12 shots.

I need to find a doctor who will embrace DAN, but not force it down my throat. I need someone who can understand alternative and traditional medicines. I need someone who will look at my DS for who he is and who can customize a program just for him. I need someone who understands what it's like to live with special needs kids 24/7. Ahhhhh, it's nice to dream.....
I'll have to fiddle around with the signature stuff some more. after DS goes to preschool-he's here next to me jumping up and down-he hates when I am on the computer.

I hear you on the GUILT! I completely broke down this weekend. Why didn't I figure this out sooner? why am I losing it with him? I need to do more. I need to learn ABA. Why did I let him have all those shots? why didn't I KNOW more? I need to learn everything I can about Autism and all the different ways to treat it....and on and on and on. I can't even begin to describe the way I've felt lately--but I'm sure every mother with a child on the spectrum can relate..

We do not have a DAN doctor but I just made a friend who goes to see someone near Balitmore. I'm sure I'm going to be TOTALLY overwhelmed when I go the conference but I need more info. I hope they have lots of hand outs because I'm sure I won't remember everything!

I've got to get DS to preschool. thanks for responding so quickly. it's so nice to hear from other Moms going through the same things...
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Old 02-17-2008, 07:03 AM   #1180
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Default stuffy nose

Hi everyone,

This may have all ready been asked. I don't know because I don't come on here very much. Anyway, my son has had a stuffy nose for about a month. I'm wondering how you ladies deal with it. I got him some decongestant of course but we have been trying to teach him how to blow his nose and he just isn't getting it. He sniffs instead of blows. Any ideas??

Thanks
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Old 02-17-2008, 07:15 AM   #1181
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Anyway, my son has had a stuffy nose for about a month. I'm wondering how you ladies deal with it. I got him some decongestant of course but we have been trying to teach him how to blow his nose and he just isn't getting it. He sniffs instead of blows.
OMG, my son is now 6 and it's the same exact thing!!! Doesn't know how to blow out! It drives me crazy because I know he wouldn't be so sick if he could just get it out. He's sick right now with congestion and low grade fever so I'm praying it doesn't turn into an ear infection.

Anywhoooo, I know it's gross, but we try to show him what to do by just blowing out without any tissues and without holding any nostrils. The other thing I've tried is to show him what blowing "out" and "in" means by using a straw (in his mouth, not his nose ). I put his hand at the end of the straw to let him feel the "wind" and "suction" of blowing in and out. I don't have any other solutions and we are trying our best here too! Anyone else?!

BTW, we are using children's Mucinex. I'm sick too and started taking the adult Mucinex and I have to say it really does work. Have you considered that maybe he has a sinus infection and that is why he is not getting better? Just thinking outloud....

I hope your little one feels better!!!
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Old 02-17-2008, 11:39 AM   #1182
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Boy Thank you! It's just nice to feel a bit "not so alone" Yeah it does sound gross but I thought of it too. With these kiddos you sometimes have to resort to drastic measures. The straw idea is interesting. I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip for a medication that works for you. The frustrating thing for us is that we are American's living in Canada and so to go to a doctor we have to pay out of pocket which we are not able to afford right now. We just moved clear across the country and had to leave pretty much everything we own behind because we couldn't afford to send it and didn't have room to bring it so we are starting over pretty much from nothing. Makes things a bit more complicated.

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OMG, my son is now 6 and it's the same exact thing!!! Doesn't know how to blow out! It drives me crazy because I know he wouldn't be so sick if he could just get it out. He's sick right now with congestion and low grade fever so I'm praying it doesn't turn into an ear infection.

Anywhoooo, I know it's gross, but we try to show him what to do by just blowing out without any tissues and without holding any nostrils. The other thing I've tried is to show him what blowing "out" and "in" means by using a straw (in his mouth, not his nose ). I put his hand at the end of the straw to let him feel the "wind" and "suction" of blowing in and out. I don't have any other solutions and we are trying our best here too! Anyone else?!

BTW, we are using children's Mucinex. I'm sick too and started taking the adult Mucinex and I have to say it really does work. Have you considered that maybe he has a sinus infection and that is why he is not getting better? Just thinking outloud....

I hope your little one feels better!!!
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Old 02-17-2008, 05:33 PM   #1183
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Me again. I never came here much before because my son was in Colorado with his father most of the last 3 years. This past week has been kind of hard because Josh has been home with me a lot. He's been sick. I have LOTS of stressful and painful things going on in my life and have been having a hard time coping lately. Anyway, Josh is usually a very pleasant wonderful little boy. The last couple of days though he has been feeling bored and frustrated I guess and I also think he is still not feeling very well. Anyway, he doesn't have much communication type language so isn't able to express to us what he is feeling or needs. We have to guess a lot. Well he throws himself on the floor, screams, slams doors, throws himself back against things etc when he feels like this. Last night I got so stressed that I left my DH with him and went and took a warm bath. Today at church he was doing some of those things again. He was sitting behind me and kicked the back of my chair. It REALLY annoyed me so I made him leave the room. I told him to go away and kept telling him till he did. I am feeling so horrible. Because he is such a sweet tender hearted little boy. I know it has to be so frustrating for him to not be able to communicate. He puts up with sooo much without complaining. I feel like such a horrible person for getting so impatient with him. I have no idea how much he understands so don't know how much it affected him but I sure feel a lot of guilt over it. It's so hard and frustrating to have all of these things going on in my life that make it very difficult for me to be patient and understanding with him.
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Old 02-17-2008, 05:46 PM   #1184
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I am so sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. {{{HUGS}}} Even if your child was "typical" (is there really such a thing!?), it is still possible to lose patience and feel guilty. Trust me, I've got that whole thing covered.

I do think it sounds like you did the right thing by asking him to leave church. His behavior was not appropriate and the consequence is that he then cannot join you. Even though these kids' communication skills are limited, I truly believe that they understand quite a bit and yearn for social acceptance and love. Having said that, can you talk to him in very simple terms and basically say "I don't like what you did in church today, but I still love you."

Is your son still adjusting to being with you and being in new surroundings? Is he bored because he is out of school sick? What else is going on that would cause him to tantrum? Is he hitting puberty?

And, if it makes you feel any better, my DS was falling apart at dinner. He kept breathing through is nose and sniffing up his boogers. I told him to breathe through his mouth and to breathe out, not in. I told him this several, several times as he continued to breathe in and scream, breathe in and scream, breathe in and scream. He would just scream "I can't breathe!" and of course the crying just adds to the booger issue!

So I took my own advice and got out a straw and held his hand. I blew out and blew the wind in his face. I blew in and let him feel the suction on his hand. Blow out, blow in, blow out, blow in. So what does he do?! He takes the straw and sticks it in his nose and blows out. And then cries because of course that doesn't work and it doesn't feel too good either!

Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers tonight. Try not to beat yourself up.
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Old 02-18-2008, 07:25 AM   #1185
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Hi everyone,

This may have all ready been asked. I don't know because I don't come on here very much. Anyway, my son has had a stuffy nose for about a month. I'm wondering how you ladies deal with it. I got him some decongestant of course but we have been trying to teach him how to blow his nose and he just isn't getting it. He sniffs instead of blows. Any ideas??

Thanks

We've had this same problem for awhile with our 3yo DS, then when my mom was visiting she stumbled on hint for us: Somehow they got to talking about dragons and how dragons blow smoke and fire. DS picked up on the *fact* that dragons blow fire out their mouths and smoke out their noses.

So now whenever he needs to get the boogers out we tell him he has to "blow smoke" like a dragon. Because he could associate it with the dragons he *gets it* most of the time now. And as far as being gross, I've found if I just hold the tissue in front of his nose, instead of against it, he doesn't freak out about it. Yah, the boogers do get on his face but at least I've got the tissue ready to wipe and his nose gets cleared out.

Maybe looking at some kids books with friendly dragon pics in it would help in making the association. (I like The Paper Bag Princess by Munsch. Shows both fire and smoke, but not in a scary way.)

Hope this helps some. And, just to add about feeling crummy over the way you handled things with your son, remember, its not easy on we mommies either. You are not the only one to *lose it* with your child sometimes. (just ask my DH about me sometimes Big hugs to you and kudos to you for giving yourself some time out in the tub.
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Old 02-18-2008, 08:05 AM   #1186
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Thanks so much for letting me know I'm not alone. This idea is darling but unfortunately my son wouldn't be able to understand that. I thought about maybe holding his hand under my nose when I blow air out to let him feel and see if he will make the connection. He usually learns well by having us model it for him but in this case because all he sees is that we are putting a tissue to our nose and making a sound that's what he does.

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Originally Posted by Tammy Jo View Post
We've had this same problem for awhile with our 3yo DS, then when my mom was visiting she stumbled on hint for us: Somehow they got to talking about dragons and how dragons blow smoke and fire. DS picked up on the *fact* that dragons blow fire out their mouths and smoke out their noses.

So now whenever he needs to get the boogers out we tell him he has to "blow smoke" like a dragon. Because he could associate it with the dragons he *gets it* most of the time now. And as far as being gross, I've found if I just hold the tissue in front of his nose, instead of against it, he doesn't freak out about it. Yah, the boogers do get on his face but at least I've got the tissue ready to wipe and his nose gets cleared out.

Maybe looking at some kids books with friendly dragon pics in it would help in making the association. (I like The Paper Bag Princess by Munsch. Shows both fire and smoke, but not in a scary way.)

Hope this helps some. And, just to add about feeling crummy over the way you handled things with your son, remember, its not easy on we mommies either. You are not the only one to *lose it* with your child sometimes. (just ask my DH about me sometimes Big hugs to you and kudos to you for giving yourself some time out in the tub.
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Old 02-18-2008, 08:11 AM   #1187
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The aweful thing is it wasn't really during church. It was after. We all stay after on the 3rd sunday for a little luncheon. He and I were alone in the room with one other man. Josh really didn't do anything all that wrong. Just kicked my chair in frustration. because my nerves were so rattled already that made them go over the edge. That's why I feel so horrible about it. Yes, I do think he may be starting to hit puberty.
Your poor son. I'm sure that wasn't very pleasant for him.

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Originally Posted by muffincards View Post
I am so sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. {{{HUGS}}} Even if your child was "typical" (is there really such a thing!?), it is still possible to lose patience and feel guilty. Trust me, I've got that whole thing covered.

I do think it sounds like you did the right thing by asking him to leave church. His behavior was not appropriate and the consequence is that he then cannot join you. Even though these kids' communication skills are limited, I truly believe that they understand quite a bit and yearn for social acceptance and love. Having said that, can you talk to him in very simple terms and basically say "I don't like what you did in church today, but I still love you."

Is your son still adjusting to being with you and being in new surroundings? Is he bored because he is out of school sick? What else is going on that would cause him to tantrum? Is he hitting puberty?

And, if it makes you feel any better, my DS was falling apart at dinner. He kept breathing through is nose and sniffing up his boogers. I told him to breathe through his mouth and to breathe out, not in. I told him this several, several times as he continued to breathe in and scream, breathe in and scream, breathe in and scream. He would just scream "I can't breathe!" and of course the crying just adds to the booger issue!

So I took my own advice and got out a straw and held his hand. I blew out and blew the wind in his face. I blew in and let him feel the suction on his hand. Blow out, blow in, blow out, blow in. So what does he do?! He takes the straw and sticks it in his nose and blows out. And then cries because of course that doesn't work and it doesn't feel too good either!

Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers tonight. Try not to beat yourself up.
Breathe.
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Old 02-18-2008, 02:26 PM   #1188
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My son is now 7 and is finally able to blow out! So it will come... I pretty much used saline nasal spray on him to help loosen and keep his nose moist. Seemed to work OK.
As for communication.... I took pictures of real life items (juice, milk, bananas, snacks and such, as well as activities we did...games, coloring, painting, swinging and bed, bath). I printed them out and put them in a mini photo album to help him show me pictures of what he wanted to do or have. It seemd to help with communicating as well as vocabulary. You can also make a communication board by placing velcro on back and hanging them on poster board. This also works well when you want to establish a rountine.
Hope some of this works.
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Old 02-18-2008, 02:27 PM   #1189
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I meant to add that the pictures work because the kids do not have words to express. It helps alleviate SOME of the tantrums.
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Old 02-18-2008, 04:43 PM   #1190
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Thank you so much for the encouragement. I am aware of the picture tools. Josh does have enough vocabulary to tell me what he wants. Mostly he is not able to carry on a conversation or let me know how or what he is feeling. That is the challenge. I have to guess a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by casacastes View Post
My son is now 7 and is finally able to blow out! So it will come... I pretty much used saline nasal spray on him to help loosen and keep his nose moist. Seemed to work OK.
As for communication.... I took pictures of real life items (juice, milk, bananas, snacks and such, as well as activities we did...games, coloring, painting, swinging and bed, bath). I printed them out and put them in a mini photo album to help him show me pictures of what he wanted to do or have. It seemd to help with communicating as well as vocabulary. You can also make a communication board by placing velcro on back and hanging them on poster board. This also works well when you want to establish a rountine.
Hope some of this works.
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Old 02-19-2008, 09:28 AM   #1191
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Hi my name is Jennifer. I have a son who is going to be 17 in March who was just diagnosed with Aspergers in the last month. I have always know there was something up, but until recently no one at the school or the doctors paid attention. I just want all parents to understand a bit of what I have been through.

Anthony really lacks social skills even with close family members (aunts, uncles, grandparents).when he was in 2nd grade, he was doing some odd things, sitting under desk, leaving the line when going to the restroom, being disruptive in class. The teacher went to the administrator and asked for help. they recommended that the teacher log each time she had to stop teaching the class to redirect Anthony. After 3 (yes, I mean 3) weeks of logging this info, they finally called me and told me that they believe my son has a behavioral problem. The teacher on one given school day had to stop teaching the class and redirect Anthony over 50 times. Of course, there was a whirlwind of meetings, half of which I did not understand, people who I had no clue who or what they were or did. They put Anthony in a self contained class (grades k-5 all together) against my wishes. i was told I had no choice. Anthony was the oldest in the self contained class. he never had a normal functioning child to learn proper behavior for his age. Our psychologists diagnosed Anthony with severe depression and ADD, which he has been treated for both. He took Prozac for 7 years and is still taking Adderall daily (only when he goes to school). Anthony moved on to middle school and was in self contained for one year, and then went into inclusive classes from then on. It has been a daily struggle with Anthony. He is bright, loves science classes, and plays video games and computer games. He has one friend, and is quite happy to have the one friend. Anthony will do fine for a while, then shut down and bottom out on me. I worry for him for life after high school.

Sorry to ramble on. My husband (not Anthony's bio dad) and I were lost and confused as to what we could do. We know now that if we could go back and change things we would have fought Anthony being put into self contained. I feel the benefits did not outweigh the negative. Once he was in middle school and even high school, we realized there was so much basic life info he never learned at school.Telling time, months of the year, and personal hygiene has always been a struggle.We still had a psychiatrist we went to see for 9 years. The psychiatrist moved out of state late last year and we got a new one, who sat with Anthony for an hour. Within the first 30 minutes she was pretty sure that he had Aspergers. She referred us to a psychologist who confirmed the diagnosis. In the fall of last year, the school did another psychological evalution on Anthony looking primarily for Aspergers at my request. the tester came back that Anthony did not have Aspergers. Anthony also went to a neuroligist (mispelled) in the fall who said it was very likely that he had Aspergers. So the school said he did not have Aspergers, and wasn't going to change anything on his IEP. Once the diagnosis came in I was relieved and sadden at the same time. My biggest thing is "If I don't advocate for my child, who will?" I struggled to get help from my doctors and local school for years. I really thought we could get the best help being in a good school system in north metro Atlanta.

Also there was a family history with autism. My nephew has autism. My sister is Debbie (casacastes). It bothers me that no one else chose to look beyond the ADD or depression. Even recently, all the school would say is that Anthony is depressed. Anthony is not depressed, he just has Aspergers and is not understood.

Debbie has been my biggest supporter. Without her, we may still be lost looking for something. Thank you all for listening to me ramble on. I welcome all feedback. Jen
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Old 02-19-2008, 12:23 PM   #1192
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Jen,

I just want to let you know that someone is aware of you. My heart breaks for you and Anthony. How horribly tragic!! I really think you have grounds for a law suit here because this is not right and frankly, they did break the law. It is the law in the states that special needs children have to be mainstreamed in less it is absolutely not possible. I have been out of the states for 4 years now and my son was in the care of my X for the past 3 years so I am not up on the laws any more. But this website will be a huge help to you!
http://www.wrightslaw.com/
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Old 02-19-2008, 01:17 PM   #1193
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Thank you for the info. i never thought that there might be a lawsuit. that opens a whole new door. WOW!! Thanks I will definitely be looking at this website. Jen
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Old 02-19-2008, 02:04 PM   #1194
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Mustardseed has a point. If he has an IEP, isn't there also a law that by the age of 14 the school has to start transitioning or at least thinking about the next step after high school whether it be college, trade school, housing/job or whatever. I know we have it in NJ, but I'm not sure if that is all over the States.

Either way, I feel for you with the late diagnosis and hardship you have faced all these years.
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Old 02-19-2008, 03:20 PM   #1195
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Well Anthony is in general ed or inclusive classes now in high school. The state of Georgia does not have self contained classes anymore. He has earned all credits to date for graduation. My concern is after high school. I don't think the "no child left behind" is the best deal for all kids. Anthony struggled with geometry last semester. He never once had a passing grade in the class all year, went to tutoring twice a week, and I contacted the teachers for their input and help. Anthony took his end of course exam (required in the state of Georgia) and got a 75% and the final exam he got a 74%, so the teacher passed him with a 70%. I felt he really never learned the material and they pushed him through. Some classes he does really well, and others not so well. He has had other classes like this. It's a shame that our kids are the ones who suffer. Jen
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Old 02-19-2008, 03:31 PM   #1196
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Now that you have a diagnosis, can you get an IEP under the autism classification at least for some accomodations in class?
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Old 02-19-2008, 03:32 PM   #1197
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Even still I think you may still have grounds for a lawsuit on your hands. It may be a way to get the finances you need to help him in the future. My son is getting to the age where I am starting to worry about the same concerns you are now facing. I am so sorry that I don't know much about the states but maybe you can find info on line or through government agencies in your state about some sort of skills training and social programs for older Aspherger's kiddos. I have a friend who's husband was recently diagnosed with Aspherger's. She is in Oregan but she may know of some resources to help you. It sounds like he is very highly intellegent. If you feel like he could have done better if they had worked with him more talk to them. Don't be afraid to be assertive. Sorry I am not the best speller.

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Well Anthony is in general ed or inclusive classes now in high school. The state of Georgia does not have self contained classes anymore. He has earned all credits to date for graduation. My concern is after high school. I don't think the "no child left behind" is the best deal for all kids. Anthony struggled with geometry last semester. He never once had a passing grade in the class all year, went to tutoring twice a week, and I contacted the teachers for their input and help. Anthony took his end of course exam (required in the state of Georgia) and got a 75% and the final exam he got a 74%, so the teacher passed him with a 70%. I felt he really never learned the material and they pushed him through. Some classes he does really well, and others not so well. He has had other classes like this. It's a shame that our kids are the ones who suffer. Jen
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Old 02-19-2008, 03:44 PM   #1198
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I am a red head, I have no problem being assertive. My problem is making sure I ask the right questions to best fit Anthony's needs. If I don't know exactly what he needs how can I ask the right questions? our new psychologist was very helpful in a letter she wrote. It explains his diagnosis and actually gives some details as to what the school can do to help him in what areas he needed it, like testing, therapy for pragmatics of speech, and consideration for accommodations for his hypersensitivity to sound. I find there is a lot in our area for social skills and therapies, but I can't afford them. I have 2 daughters also. My 15 year old daughter is totally ADHD. She fits all the classic signs of it. She has been treated for it for about 7 years. She has IEPs also, but hers always seem to work for her and she does pretty good.
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Old 02-19-2008, 03:54 PM   #1199
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My first goal is to change his label at school on his IEP from BD to an autism label. It may not mean much, but it does to me. Anthony is not a behavioral child. He is the most non-confrontial, non-assertive person I know. I have more issues with my girls.
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Old 02-20-2008, 04:00 AM   #1200
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Oh Jen I am so glad that you found us! You sound like a very strong person to have been through so much and still have wonderful kids! I will be going through some changes too when we move from Canada to the US this summer. If I find out any information in my research I will be sure to pass it along-although I know each state is different.
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