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Old 11-30-2007, 08:03 AM   #1
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Default Pregnancy Loss Support

I recently just had my 4th miscarriage. I have be involved with another group in this site, but have had trouble relating lately. I have never had a problem conceiving so I don't know first hand the pain that comes with being unable to conceive. But I know the pain of miscarriage all too well.

I wanted to open this forum for anyone who has experienced Pregnancy loss at any stage of pregnancy and would like some support from other stampers. I have loved the support that I have received from previous groups here at SCS. I hope if unfortunate circumstances have brought you to this forum atleast you can find some support here.

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Old 11-30-2007, 01:09 PM   #2
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I'm so sorry for your losses...

I have had 2 miscarriages myself...one at 8 weeks, one at 6 weeks(blighted ovum..

Both were due to chromosomal abnormalities (trisomy 13 and 16)

Do you know why you are miscarrying??

Losing a baby at any stage is so difficult...I still remember the day of each loss..

Again...so sorry for your losses...

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Old 11-30-2007, 01:10 PM   #3
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I had 5 miscarriages (4 live births), which is one of the reasons we're done having kids. I can't deal with any more miscarriages.

I'm so sorry for both of your losses. It's so devastating, I know.
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Old 11-30-2007, 01:36 PM   #4
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They don't have any explanation. They only did the full chromosome testing on the baby after this last miscarriage, everything was normal. The only issue they found with me is one mutation of MTHFR (blood clotting) so they treated me for this during this last pregnancy, but with only one mutation, it may have nothing to do with it.

I see a specialist in a couple weeks.

Cobrielle- did they ever know why you had the m/c's?

Mel-Do you have other children?
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Old 11-30-2007, 01:38 PM   #5
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Veronica,
I'm so sorry. Hugs for you and your husband. You'll be in my prayers.
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Old 11-30-2007, 01:44 PM   #6
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They don't have any explanation. They only did the full chromosome testing on the baby after this last miscarriage, everything was normal. The only issue they found with me is one mutation of MTHFR (blood clotting) so they treated me for this during this last pregnancy, but with only one mutation, it may have nothing to do with it.

I see a specialist in a couple weeks.

Cobrielle- did they ever know why you had the m/c's?


Mel-Do you have other children?
No, never figured it out.

After my 3rd miscarriage in 6 months I demanded that my doctor do a complete work up on me. I thought maybe my scar tissue from the c-section I had with my first was keeping the embryos from implanting. Nope, everything was normal. Ended up with an odd pap though, which ended up turning into cervical cancer.

Mine were always really early too. If I was going to miscarry I'd do it by 8 weeks, otherwise I'd carry to term. But I'd try to miscarry again at 12-14 weeks, never bled, just had contractions upon contractions. So I ended up on unofficial bed rest with all 4. It blew.

And like Veronica said, the problem with fertility that I have is that I'm TOO fertile. So after our 4th child (9th pregnancy) my DH got modified for recreational purposes only (vasectomy). Took care of the miscarriage problem.
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Old 11-30-2007, 06:48 PM   #7
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I'm so sorry for all of you. Thanks for starting this. I won't be around for the next week or so, but I do want to join in this thread.
I've had 3 miscarriages. I also have infertility problems. I am very blessed to have a wonderful 8 yr. old miracle boy. Pregnancy loss is so very difficult for me. Hugs to all of you.
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Old 12-01-2007, 08:51 AM   #8
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Default pregnancy loss support

Thanks for starting this thread. I've been reading some of the other threads regarding fertility - but I don't really have fertility issues...

We had a miscarriage in July at ten weeks. It completely sucked!! Long story short - I bled for about a week and felt like my doctor's nurse was patronizing me by saying "drink more water, I'm sure it's fine, etc." Yeah right. Well, I ended up spending six hours at the emergency room because my doctor's office didn't have an opening on the day when I finally decided something was really wrong. Ugh. It was just one of those ironic things then too. I had my first OB appointment scheduled the day after I was at the hospital, so I read my doctor the riot act at my follow up appt. about how if I feel there is any kind of concern the next time around that I expect to get in to be seen.

I do have three kids - two from my first marriage that are 10 and 12 yo boys and an 18 mo girl now. So then, I really hate it when people say you should be glad that at least you have three kids, which is true, but when you want more and this happens it just stinks.

So, we're back trying. I've been charting for three months with no luck yet. That's the frustrating part. Sometimes I wonder if knowing too much can be bad, you know? I'm only 34, so it's not like we don't have time - it's just that I'm not a very patient person to wait!!!
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Old 12-02-2007, 06:49 AM   #9
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I didn't know it I should start this, I was afraid I wouldn't get any response, but I'm glad I did. I'm sorry for everyone's loss(es).

Kim-So sorry about your loss and the frustration with the doctor. I think I'd probably look for a different doctor next time. I've been charting as well. I like it as a small sense of control in this mess.

TaxiTam-Sorry for you losses as well. We'll chat when you get back

cobrielle- I hope if I can just get past the first trimester I will be okay, but so far haven't made it there.

AFM: I do have a beautiful DD who just turned 6 that I adopted last summer. I was here Stepmother. Her dad and I got married when she was 2 1/2 but I've been in her life since he got custody at 1 year. I'm very thankful for her but I always wanted several children and she wants a little brother or sister as well.
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Old 12-02-2007, 07:06 AM   #10
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I could certainly be a member of this group. I've had five miscarriages myself and one live birth. I've also struggled with infertility. I've done four rounds of IVF (two stimulations and two frozen transfers). My losses all occured before 6 weeks. After my second miscarriage, I was tested for clotting disorders, and have Factor V Ledien mutation. So my doc put me on heparin (Lovenox, actually) during pregnancy. Well, my 3rd and 4th loss were fresh IVF cycles, and the Lovenox wasn't enough with all the extra estrogen I was taking (estrogen promotes clotting). I did some research and determined that I should start the Lovenox before a positive pregnancy test so that the clotting is 'righted' BEFORE the embryo implants. So my fifth pregnancy, I did just that. (My doctor didn't tell me this - I just took it upon myself to start Lovenox early.) And that pregnancy resulted in my lovely little girl, who is now just about 3.

This past summer we did another IVF frozen cycle. I'll never forget the day - August 1 - the day of the bridge collapse in Minneapolis. Our clinic was about a mile from the bridge. Of course, we were home by the time it happened, but it's one of those things you'll never forget. I miscarried that pregnancy, too, even though those embryos that were transferred were the highest quality I'd ever had. And I started Lovenox early (This time at my doctor's request.). No explanation for this loss - other than thinking perhaps the embryos implanted late, as my hcg levels were very low for the dates, though initially they kept doubling as they should.

So those embryos from my last transfer were the last we had. I'm not sure if we'll do another IVF cycle, as my insurance doesn't cover it, and it'll cost about $20,000. If it were just about money, we'd do it. But it's more than that. It's the emotional part, too... I'm just not sure I have it in me. I guess just too scared to get my hopes up again. Still, I'd like for my daughter to have a sibling.
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Old 12-03-2007, 08:08 PM   #11
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HI Denise,

So Sorry for you losses.

I didn't know estrogen promoted clotting. Sometimes I think I may be estrogen dominant, thus causing low progesterone.

I see a perinatologist and Genetic Counselor next week. Not sure if they will be able to help me, but I guess we'll try it. I feel very un-hopeful.
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Old 12-07-2007, 07:06 AM   #12
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I think my hormones are finally started to get back to normal after the D&C. I think all the progesterone they had me on took a while to get out of my system.

I was supposed to have my 14 week appt yesterday.

I am looking forward to Christmas. Though, everyone keeps asking me what I want and I don't really have any ideas to give them. I've given a couple to my DH but mostly I know that any material thing won't fill the void. So I keep buying stuff for my DD, Not that she needs much, her room is full! oh well, I only have one to buy for.

Denise-I would love a sibling for my DD too.

I've got to get my Christmas cards made and get them out. I'm planning on skipping the letter though.

Veronica
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Old 12-07-2007, 07:22 AM   #13
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It is so hard with the hormones getting back to normal and waiting to get back to "normal". You know you spend 10 weeks, 14 weeks, etc. being pregnant and then things still don't get back to normal for quite some time.

Just another antidote to our story. You know you're told by doctors that you won't get a period for at least four weeks or more. Well, I started bleeding again about 15 days after the last bleeding before that. So here I think I'm magically getting my period and I'm excited about that because we want to start trying again, etc. After two days of way heavy flow, I get online and search for what my symptoms were. I did find a great website that had a great article which told me in fact, it wasn't my period but I was still completely my miscarriage. So it was like going through it all over again. So then it finally took almost six weeks before AF finally came. I've never been so glad to get my period in my life - and I hate having it!!

Sorry to ramble on so much - but it is sooooo nice to have somewhere to be able to ramble on. My friends have no idea what it's like to go through this and though my husband listens, he's a man (lol) and only listens for so long!!
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Old 12-08-2007, 07:08 AM   #14
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Kim-I can relate. I've been spotting on and off since the D&C. Yesterday It looked like AF was here, never got very heavy so not sure if that is just because I never had a chance to build a lining or what.

It's hard to find people to talk to, most people don't understand.

I started making my Christmas cards last night. Hopefully I'll get them done this weekend. I want to make some ornaments too. But I'm going to go look for a Angel stamp to make ornaments. I don't have one so hopefully I can find one at Hobby Lobby. I want some ornaments for my baby angels.
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Old 12-08-2007, 04:03 PM   #15
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Veronica,
I used to be on the thread you were on, so I know about the great support you can get. I did not start posting until after my m/c. I have PCOS and didn't know until my m/c. This has been a hard week for me. Although I am 33 weeks pregnant so very happy & feeling blessed, I can not help but remember it was one year ago tomorrow I got my first positive pregnancy test. We had actively trying for a year and a half and did nothing to prevent pregnancy for 4 years. I was so happy and excited; we told our families on Christmas Eve. By the evening of Christmas Eve, I started cramping and spotting. I just knew what was happening. I went into what they call "mini" labor on Christmas Day and after a few hours of extremely painful contractions, my body released my baby. I was 6 weeks and I don't care at what stage pregnancy you are in, any loss is painful. I did not have to have a D & C because my hormone levels went down and I think I spotted for about a week.
We did go to Hallmark and buy an ornament that was an angel. She is hanging on our tree this year.
I am so sorry for everyone's losses.
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Old 12-09-2007, 04:32 PM   #16
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I'm back from a wonderful trip & ready to join in more on this discussion, when I have the time. Again, I am so sorry for each of you and what you have been through.
I am coming up on a year anniversary of my last m/c. It actually happened on Christmas Day. A real bummer. To say the least. I didn't know I was pregnant so I guess that made it a little easier. However, we had lots of family here & I didn't want to tell anyone except for DH. MIL does not understand these things and always manages to make me feel even worse. My side of the family is very supportive, but I didn't want to ruin Christmas for others. To make it worse I have a wonderful doctor who was out of town. I always have a D&C. The dr. I had to see was a real jerk & sure helped me to appreciate my dr. even more. Sad thing is, my dr. moved over the summer & I haven't even considered who I will switch to. I sure hope I don't have another "surprise" and have to make a quick decision. Anyway, I hope this Christmas will be less eventful in those regards.
Sorry to ramble on so long. It is just nice to be able to share these feelings.
Hugs to you all.
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Old 12-10-2007, 06:08 AM   #17
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Tam- Good to see you back. I hate anniversaries too. I know how you feel, I miscarried last year this time too. Everyone keeps asking me what I want for Christmas, I know that it's all material and won't make me happy, so I really haven't given any ideas. Atleast that way I have it as a surprise. Christmas will be about my DD.

I have my appointment tomorrow with the specialists. We are leaving today and won't be back until wednesday.

I'll write more then.
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Old 12-11-2007, 12:38 PM   #18
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Tam- Good to see you back. I hate anniversaries too. I know how you feel, I miscarried last year this time too. Everyone keeps asking me what I want for Christmas, I know that it's all material and won't make me happy, so I really haven't given any ideas. Atleast that way I have it as a surprise. Christmas will be about my DD.

I have my appointment tomorrow with the specialists. We are leaving today and won't be back until wednesday.

I'll write more then.
Thanks for your support. Good luck w/ the specialist. Let us know what you find out.
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Old 12-12-2007, 04:00 PM   #19
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They could have done that over the phone. Basically they looked at my chart and told me that my reg. OB has already ordered all the tests that they would recomend, except one, which I have to fast for, so I'm going to have my OB do that anyway. Then they gave me the speal about how atleast I can get pg and I have a 80% chance that my next pg will go to term, except that is about the same odds that anyone would have. Seriously...

Atleast we have good insurance that covered travel expenses, otherwise I would have been really pissed to spend all that for nothing.
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Old 12-13-2007, 05:40 AM   #20
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Veronica, so so sorry you didn't learn anything new.
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Old 12-17-2007, 06:50 AM   #21
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Do most people know about your losses?

I had my second m/c last year the beginning of Dec and most everyone knew I was pg at that time, so everyone knows about that one. But I never told anyone other than our parents about the first and 3rd since they were very early and only a couple friends knew when we got pg this time and that I lost it again. Some people assume we are having trouble conceiving, which is not true, but I lie or just don't say anything. Sometimes I feel like I want to tell people, not everyone but some friends that I think will understand. But other times I feel like if I tell I may end up more hurt and it's hard to just blurt it out. So instead I feel like i'm just avoiding people.

Not sure what would be the best thing to do.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:15 AM   #22
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I lost my first baby at 9 weeks. It never developed a fetal point and I had spotting for 5 of those 9 weeks along with 4 ultrasounds. I felt like I was gradually watching this baby die. I was on bed rest and felt so helpless. The whole time I pretty much was told that things wouldn't work out but I could not bring myself to terminate when I could see the heartbeat. This was terrible and devastating, still is 9 years later.

We got pregnant again within 3 months. We lost that baby at 11 weeks. We were on vacation and I started spotting. We went home immediately but there was nothing we could do. I lost the baby a couple of days later. I know there isn't anything I could have done differently but I had huge guilt after this one because I was out having a life when it happened. We were also repeatedly assured that this baby was fine and had 2 ultrasounds and several other tests so it blew us away.

We had several tests done after the second miscarriage. I learned that you should wait at least as long as you are pregnant before getting pregnant again. Helps the hormones level out so your body is a more stable environment for the baby. I also started taking progesterone suppositories and baby asprin when we started trying again.

I got pregnant with fraternal twins about 6 months later. We lost one of them at 9 weeks. We were very scared that I would start having contractions and lose them both. That baby ended up absorbing and we had our first daughter in 2000. This was a high risk pregnancy and I spent quite a bit of time on bed rest and spent 2 days a week at the Dr after week 20 but it was worth it.

We had DD #2 in 2002. Another high risk pregnancy with many challenges but my daughter is a happy healthy almost 5yo.

DH and I would have loved more children but I in no way want to get pregnant again. He got the big V last year when he finally realized that I was serious. Anniversary's are still hard. Everyone knew both times we were just too thrilled to keep it quiet. It never occured to us that something bad could happen. Let alone happen more than once. I will keep you all in my thoughts. I am sorry for your pain.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:53 AM   #23
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Veronica -

For me it is very hard not to tell people about something that should be soooo exciting. I can't keep secrets for beans!!!

When we m/c our baby in July I was right between 9 and 10 weeks. At eight weeks I had started telling a few people. I mean, come on, here I was thinking I've had three just fine pregnancies with no problems. Fine. It was odd because I would tell the most random people who I didn't really see on a regular basis - but I thought things were going okay and if I ran in to so and so at the grocery store, I might as well mention it. My DH didn't want to tell anyone until we were 12 weeks because we were going on vacation and he wanted to do this fun grand announcement, etc. So none of his family even new were were pregnant until after the m/c. I think I posted earlier that my MIL didn't even know until we called her to come stay with my daycare kids so I could go to the hospital. My folks knew, again, because I can't keep secrets.

Another one of my "flaws" is that I can pretty much talk to anyone about anything, so I don't have a problem telling people now what happened. But it's kind of weird and you have to guage the situation - because I don't talk about it to get sympathy or have people feel sorry for us - it was just a part of our lives and I guess I feel by not talking about it, it's like that baby never existed. KWIM?

I know my DH and I just deal with it differently, because I saw online and ordered this necklace thing that had little charms on it that you could personalize a number of ways - so I did it with a charm for the month of m/c and a charm for the month that the baby would have been due. I think he thinks it's kind of dumb, but I liked it so that's all that matters!!

So, I don't want to say I've "learned my lesson" because how does one ever second guess what is going to happen in the future - but we will probably not tell people if we get pregnant again until I'm further along. Except for my mom and a couple of my best girlfriends.....

Kim
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Old 12-19-2007, 11:52 AM   #24
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I am so sorry to read about everyone's losses. I have had two live births and one miscarriage (my 2nd pregnancy). I was 12 weeks when I started spotting but it would go away so I thought nothing of it. In hindsight, the fact that we couldn't hear the heartbeat in the OB's office at 8 weeks should have been a big head's up, but being my 2nd pregnancy they just said that not everyone can hear it with the dopplar right at 8 weeks.

The 2nd time I spotted I called my husband at work and we went in for an ultrasound. They gave me a photo of the baby and said to follow up with my OB. Since they gave my a photo I thought everything was fine and when I got to my OB's office I couldn't believe that they didn't locate a heartbeat and that the fetus has stopped at 8 weeks. They talked me into m/c naturally. That was the wrong choice on my part.

I was in and out of the hospital after I m/c naturally and kept hemmorging. The hardest part of the year for me is leading up to Thanksgiving, my anniversary date is 11/22. I keep thinking each year will get easier, but the reality of it all hits me and I end up a bawling mess for about a week.

This has been on my mind a lot because my SIL is now waiting to m/c after a round of IVF. I feel so badly for her and my brother. They just found out on Monday that the pregnancy is not viable and it was confirmed today.

I did find it very helpful having a support group in my town that was geared toward infant loss even if it was through miscarriage. That group has disolved slowly over time so I'm glad that this group is here now.
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Old 12-19-2007, 12:15 PM   #25
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Did most of you have a D&C or m/c naturally? My OB thought that I had passed enough "stuff" that he felt I didn't need one. He did extract some tissue that we had sent to the lab to confirm that it was product of conception when I was at my follow up the day after we'd gone to the ER. But.....I continued to bleed for over a week and of course we were hundreds of miles away on our planned family vacation because I didn't want to ruin our family vacation - and we hadn't told our boys (ten and twelve year olds) that anything had even happened because they would have freaked out because we all want a baby so badly.

But anyway, finally I stopped bleeding/spotting and went for about two weeks without any. So then we are out at our family's cabin and on a Sunday morning I start bleeding again. Here I am thinking YEAH it's my AF because I was told that we could start trying again after I got one period and it had been almost a month since our m/c.... But, having thought it would be a few more weeks before I'd have AF do you think I was prepared????? lol The only feminine products out there were two pantyliners and a tampon that must have been ten years old. So I had to make my DH drive about five miles into town to get a box of tampons at 6:30 in the morning!!! He must really love me!!!!

Sorry for the long story - but I do have a point!! The next day, I was having clots that I knew were not normal for just having a period, so I went back in to the OBs office and demanded to have my blood tested to see if the hCG was back down to less than 5. It wasn't. What I thought was AF was just my m/c still trying to complete itself naturally. UGH!! It was like starting all over again emotionally with another m/c. So the moral to my story is, if god forbid I ever go through this again, I will have a D&C.

Another thing too - I went back in for blood tests until my hCG was less than five which took two times of going back in. It really made me mad that the nurses in the office were so inconsiderate about how this was important to me. I'm sorry - it's my body and I'm paying for all these tests - so back off!!! You know. My OB is my neighbor and we really like him a lot but it's been frustrating having to deal with the office staff. It's kind of a big and busy office and I just don't think that he really knows a lot of the time when things happen, etc.

Okay, this was really long - sorry about that. But it just feels so good to at least think that people are listening. I think my DH likes it because I can post here and he doesn't have to listen to me vent so much!!!

Kim
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Old 12-19-2007, 12:56 PM   #26
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I m/c naturally. My OB said it would be easier on my body if I did it that way, but after a week of hemorraghing on and off I had to have a D&C. It turns out that the placenta didn't unattach all of the way and that was causing my body to continue to bleed. I ended up in the ER twice before they did the D&C. They tried to get "stray" pieces out but it was too uncomfortable for me.


The following might be very unsettling so be forewarned.





My OB told me that when I did m/c that it would be best if I recovered the fetus. I think I am the only person in the world that actually listened to this. She said that they could do testing to see what went wrong. I never asked if they did do that. I will never do this again if faced with a simliar situation.
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Old 12-19-2007, 01:07 PM   #27
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My second miscarriage I had a D&C. I planned it. I stayed on progesterone so that I wouldn't start to naturally lose the pregnancy.... that I could schedule a D&C with my doctor's office. The reason I scheduled it was so that I could have the tissue tested to determine if there was a biological (chromosomal) reason for the pregnancy losses. My first miscarriage happened naturually. My husband and I spent our first anniversary in the ER miscarrying. I didn't want to go thru that again, so I opted for the surgery.

As fate would have it, the nurse at the clinic misunderstood our reason for being there. She placed the fetal tissue into formaldehyde instead of saline solution. The formaldehyde is a preservative that prevents the fetal tissue from being cultured, which is what needs to be done to do a chromosomal analysis. Of course, we don't learn this for a couple of months after the D&C, when we were wondering why our results were taking so long.

My third, fourth, and fifth miscarriages were all very, very early.... so they were miscarried naturally, and I had my beta hcg levels monitored until they returned to below 2.

My fifth miscarriage was this past August, after an IVF cycle. It was the last of our frozen embryos. Now, if we want to add to our family we have to start IVF all over again, and given the bad luck I have, I'm not sure I have it in me to do so. But I'm still considering it.
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Old 12-19-2007, 01:27 PM   #28
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I had AD&C's with my first two. My third was absorbed because I was still pregnant with DD #1. I was specifically told not to use tampons for at least 3 months after my miscarriages and pregnancies because of potential clot issues.
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Old 12-19-2007, 01:36 PM   #29
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JennD- my heart goes out to you. They told me to recover too but my body wouldn't so the D&C's. I am grateful I didn't have to do it. the whole process was tragic enough. And I agree that the medical professionals were pretty cold. When my ultrasound lady couldn't find a heartbeat with my second baby. She abruptly quit talking, turned the monitor away from me and stalked out of the room. No comments nothing. When she came back about 10 minutes later she said I could dress and that my DR. was on the phone in the lobby. In the Lobby in front of about 10 strangers I was told my baby had died. It still makes me cry. At least DH was with me. The way we were told or left to assume was just as bad as the situation itself.
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Old 12-19-2007, 03:14 PM   #30
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My heart goes out to all of you. It is so sad for me to read all that you have all been through. I guess I should say all WE have been through.

For my first mc EVERYONE knew. We were so happy to finally be pregnant that we told everyone. Plus I didn't mc until 12 weeks. For the 2nd mc, DH knew & some friends. We told my parents much later. For number 3, only DH @ first & then friends found out. I really appreciate all of the support that we have received f/ friends, etc. MIL only knows about #1, as she just doesn't "get it" & the first time said things that made it all much harder on DH & me. Lucky, we have been able to keep it f/ DS.

I have had D&C's w/ all 3. The 1st 2 D&C's were scheduled & MUCH easier to go through then when I mced on my own. I did have a D&C but had been through all the pain - both physical & emotional for a while. I definitely prefer having the D&C & not having to go through all of that.

Happy Holidays to each of you. This time of year can be so very difficult.
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Old 12-20-2007, 06:22 AM   #31
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This might be too personal of a question, but I am trying to help my SIL through her first m/c. She is frightened that she is going to be in a lot of pain. Did you guys experience pain when you m/c? The only reason I ask is that I just had some spotting, no cramps or anything. I was frightened because my OB prescribed me a pain reliever when she found out I was going to m/c naturally. I filled it but never used it.

I just had a wierd sensation so I just happened to run to the bathroom. It was then that everything just gushed. I was surprised that there was absolutely no pain involved. I think I was at week 13 when it happened, we only found out in week 12 and the baby had passed at week 8.

I'm just trying to prepare her for what could happen. They said she has 7 - 10 days as she just stopped all of her drugs for IVF. She is completely scared and all I can tell her at this point is my experience. To make things worse her parents just went back to China (my SIL is from Shanghai) and met my brother in college where they went to school and worked together. So her family is thousands of miles away.
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Old 12-20-2007, 07:21 AM   #32
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Tanaf and Jenn- I wanted to say hi to both of you and I'm so sorry for your losses.

Personally, My first and 3rd m/c's were natural at less than 6 weeks. I was already losing them by the time I got to the doctor, so there was nothing they could do and no reason they beleived that I wouldn't pass everything.

The 2nd and 4th (a little over a month ago) we're both missed m/c's. I had D&C's with both of those. With the first I found out at 13.5 weeks that we lost it at just under 11weeks but I had my DD's Birthday party that weekend so I waited until monday for D&C. Being 14weeks by that time, I lost a lot of blood and had clotting a week later. and my uterus wasn't shrinking. I would not have wanted to do that at home. This last one I wasn't as far along, so I didn't bleed as bad and recovered more quickly.

I had only small cramping with the last D&C, no cramping with any of the others, including the first D&C hense the clots and not shrinking. So some cramping is good if you are further along.
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Old 12-20-2007, 08:20 AM   #33
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The first one I honestly don't remember. There was a ton going on with lots of DR. visits and it is kind of a blur. With the second I would have cramps that would buckle me over. We found out on a Friday and D&C was scheduled Tuesday AM in case I could do it myself. I went that weekend with what I would call a terrible period. Very painful irregular cramping and one pain I remember brought me to my knees. It hurt but was not constant and the pains were of short duration. I did not take any pain killers.
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Old 12-20-2007, 11:00 AM   #34
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I did not have an D&C when I m/c (which, god forbid it should happen again, I will do even though the thought of a D&C freaks me out too). So my m/c was like a horrible period and cramps/contractions at the same time. After I was at the ER and the next day had seen my doctor, he thought that I had passed enough stuff that I didn't need a D&C and he felt like he had extracted enough more at the office visit. Yeah, that was pretty much wrong. The third day - a Saturday - I had the WORST cramps. I mean doubling over, curled up in bed, freaking my husband out bad. Well, what is the purpose of cramps/contractions - to purge things out. I don't ever want to go through that again. Let's leave it at that. The doctor at the ER gave me an Rx for Vicadin which they told me would help with the pain and help me rest. But it didn't make me sleepy. So, just be there for your SIL to support her any way you can. This whole thing just sucks and I'm sorry for all of you have have also had to go through a loss.
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Old 12-20-2007, 01:02 PM   #35
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I just found out i had a m/c on Monday. I didnt even know I was pregnant... I went in to the Dr for a pap/ colpo even though I was still spotting from what I had thought was AF. They gave me a urine test and whan it came back positive I had to have a round of blood tests. Turns out I was pregnant but lost the baby and never knew. My gestation was undeterminable but they estimated it to only about 6 weeks or less and had been m/c for about 2 weeks. I was offered a D&C but was told because it wasnt an emergency I couldnt get in until Friday (were supposed to go home friday for the holidays) This is m/c #2 for me last time was the day before mothers day last year. I got to 14 weeks that time but baby stoped developing at aprox. 8 weeks. I never lost that one, just had a little spotting and went to the ER scared as all get out. I had a TV ultrasound and they determined it was no longer living.

My DH is trying realy hard right now but its not going so good. He's mad because I wanted to call both my mom and my grandma. I called them both anyway. Im not even shure what to think about this one. Its had because I had no idea. I know it has nothing to do with it but I just keep thinking maybe all the stress is what caused it. Oh yeah lots of stress right now, I have a almost 7 month old, christmas is coming up and we are in the middle of a big move to Germany.

Gosh i feel better just leting some of it out, thanks ladies.
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Old 12-20-2007, 01:52 PM   #36
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Thanks so much guys for sharing your experiences. I had told my SIL that I could only go by what had happened to me. I talk to her everyday to find out if she is okay and if the inevitable has started to happen. I hate that this is going to cloud her memory of this Christmas. I know personally with mine falling right aroung Thanksgiving the last 3 have been over shadowed by my loss. I hate to think of her going through this year after year.

I have offered to my brother and SIL that I would be a gestational surrogate and they are just completely touched that I would do this for them. We are just in the thinking about it stage incase she can't go through IVF again for whatever reason. We'll see how that goes or if they even choose that route.

mamamudd, I am so sorry to hear of your recent loss. I can only imagine the mixed emotions you are going through at this point in time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. {{{HUGS}}}
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Old 12-20-2007, 02:19 PM   #37
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My heart goes out to all of you. I've been reading all these posts the last few days and haven't posted yet. I'm normally a very private person, but felt like I wanted to post because I can relate to all of you.

I had my m/c last March. I spotted for most of the 12 week pregnancy, but had ultrasounds and was told not to worry about it. I heard the heart beat at 8 weeks, but it was gone by 12 weeks. I was given the choice of letting my body m/c naturally by waiting it out or having a D&C, I chose the D&C. I personally couldn't stand the waiting.

We are wanting to try again, but I'm very scared. I keep putting if off month after month. I know my body could handle it, but I'm not sure emotionally that I would be able to handle another m/c. KWIM?

I'm glad I found this thread, it helps to share info and hear others stories. Keeping all of you in my thoughts.

Mamamud, my heart goes out to you, it was so recent. I also blamed stress, but don't know how much of a factor it was. I'm glad you found this forum. It helps to communicate with others who have been there.

Jenn D, does you SIL have a choice, or just does she just have to wait it out? The waiting must be so difficult for her and your brother. Offering to be a surrogate is so generous and kind of you. She's lucky to have you around.
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Old 12-20-2007, 05:30 PM   #38
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MamaMudd, Your experience sounds Similar to what I experienced with my third m/c. I'm so sorry, I know how painful that was, I felt betrayed by my body pretending to have a period when I was actually pg. That's when I started charting so I would know. If anyone is interested in charting or learning more about their cycles check out the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler, it is an excellent book, especially if you don't fall in the typical 28 day cycle. I figured it was either take a pg test after I start my period or take my temp to know that I wasn't pg. I felt like I could take back some of the control that I had lost to this horrible heartache.

Jenn, Please let your SIL know that we are praying for her. And while there is little anyone can do during these situations, it helps talking (or typing) to people who have gone thru it.

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Old 12-21-2007, 07:01 AM   #39
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My SIL doesn't have the option of a D&C because they are afraid of injuring her uterus and she has had so many in the last year to remove polyps (sp?).
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Old 12-22-2007, 06:31 AM   #40
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I just found out that my cousing lost her baby. They did an u/s and it had died. Not sure how far along she was, but I'm assuming about 10 weeks since it was basically her first appt and u/s. I heard it thru the family grapevine so don't know much details, but the doctors sent her home and told her to come back in a week (again, coming from my mom, thru my aunt who is obviously upset hearing it from my cousin who was I'm sure very upset.) Maybe she just didn't know what to do and just sat there unable to talk like I did. If I didn't have my DH with me I don't know what I would have done. Hopefully her hubby was with her too, but don't know.

I told my mom I definetly recommended getting a D&C for her. But I'm sure the earliest they could do it would be monday, Christmas Eve. It just sucks.
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