Goodness. I messed with this a few years ago, and I learned by trial and error mostly!
I do remember this for the header. Where it says maxwidgets you need to change it to a larger number. Where it says showaddelement change 'no to 'yes' and where it says locked change 'true' to 'false'. When you go into your layout, you should be able to add the new header there as a photo, or you can host it elsewhere (photobucket, flickr) and add it there as html.
For the background, it seems like somewhere in your code there should be an image url that you can switch out. (img src=?) You should be able to search for it.
I hope that helps! Sorry you're having troubles. So frustrating!
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