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Showing results 1 to 13 of 13
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Search: Threads Started By: XcessStamps
  Thread / Thread Starter Last Post Replies Views Forum
11-06-2012 09:37 AM
by winnieu Go to last post
2 700 Mission: Organization
11-08-2011 07:09 AM
by XcessStamps Go to last post
0 193 General Stamping Talk
06-10-2008 06:20 AM
by XcessStamps Go to last post
8 315 General Stamping Talk
02-03-2007 08:10 AM
by faithyc Go to last post
2 102 Fun & Games
06-12-2006 04:18 PM
by GWTW Junkie Go to last post
3 139 Fun & Games
05-23-2006 12:19 PM
by Kandice Go to last post
2 229 Family Matters
10-28-2005 05:59 AM
by XcessStamps Go to last post
0 63 Fun & Games
07-21-2005 09:06 AM
by Melissa2boys Go to last post
9 176 Fun & Games
to find out that anything that came in contact with those tender, > blooming buds hurt so bad it brought us to tears. So came the > ridiculously uncomfortable training bra contraption that the boys in > school would snap until we had calluses on our backs. > > Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). > Along with those budding boobs, we bloated, we cramped, we got the > hormone crankies, had to wear little mattresses between our legs or > insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know > we had. > > Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) was having > sex for the first time which was about as much fun as having a ramrod > push your uterus through your nostrils, leaving us to wonder what all > the fuss was about. > Then it was off to Motherhood where we learned to live on dry > crackers and water for a few months so we didn't spend the entire day > leaning over Brother John. > > Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we > learned to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily > kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we were > preparing to have Rosemary's Baby. > Our once flat bellies looked like we had swallowed a watermelon > whole and we pee'd our pants every time we sneezed. When the big > moment arrived, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions invariably > burst right in the middle of the mall and we had to waddle, with our > big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. > > Then it was huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, > "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one > more good push (more like 10)," warranting a strong, well-deserved > impulse to punch the OB and hubby square in the face for making us > cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole. > > After that, it was time to raise those angels only to find that > when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morphed > into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little > poop machines. > > Then... come their teen years. Need I say more? > > When the kids are almost grown, we women hit our voracious > sexual prime in our early 40's - while hubby had his somewhere around > his 18th birthday and is now all but null and void. > > So we progress into the grand finale: "The Menopause," the > Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take HRT and chance cancer in > those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, > sweat like a hog, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the > headoff anything that moves. > > Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when > men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to > pee in the woods without soaking their socks... > > So, while I love being a woman, "Womanhood" would make the > Great Gandhi a tad crabby. > > Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me. > > Send this to bright women you know and make their day!!! Or at > least make them laugh a little... but not too hard or they may pee > their panties. > > > The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause. Itchy, B****y, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, > Forgetful and Psycho. >">
07-15-2005 08:22 PM
by raduse Go to last post
13 394 Fun & Games
06-29-2005 03:28 PM
by Dyu Go to last post
7 384 Family Matters
01-13-2005 08:28 PM
by judi_stamparooni Go to last post
3 599 General Stamping Talk
10-29-2004 11:57 AM
by XcessStamps Go to last post
0 321 General Stamping Talk
06-10-2003 09:49 AM
by Pigsuit Go to last post
14 928 General Stamping Talk
Showing results 1 to 13 of 13

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