In the Forums

Register

Today's Posts

Search


Get the Weekly
Inkling
newsletter





Previous Issues

Get Social

Like Splitcoaststampers on Facebook Follow Splitcoaststampers on Twitter Watch Splitcoaststampers Videos on YouTube

Sponsored Ads


 
Splitcoaststampers.com - the world's #1 papercrafting community
You're currently viewing Splitcoaststampers as a GUEST. We pride ourselves on being great hosts, but guests have limited access to some of our incredible artwork, our lively forums and other super cool features of the site! You can join our incredible papercrafting community at NO COST. So what are you waiting for?

Join the party at Splitcoaststampers today!

Like Tree5Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-25-2010, 05:57 AM   #601
Pearl-ExPert
 
janiekay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Foster dog REX is up for adoption at www.mwdr.org
Posts: 2,993
Default Glad to hear that you arrived safely!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by caterinafmig View Post
For those of you who have been following this thread, just wanted to let you know Reynold and I have arrived in Oklahoma. We will be going to the viewing tomorrow, followed by the funeral service on Friday.

Thank you again for your love, kind words and prayers.
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you join in the celebration of sweet Sicily's little life! Even though a celebration, I'm sure lots of tears will be shed. All your friends on splitcoast are greatful that you chose to go and we know that you also represent all of us here on this site!

You are truly a blessing, Caterina! Praying for and with family's of children with cancer is not always an easy gift to give, but you give of your heart truly and freely! Your husband is a godsend to you, if he is willing to share this journey with you!

Many Hugs and Blessings,

Jane
janiekay is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 11:14 AM   #602
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

The entire Zeka family and freinds, neighbors and everyone who loved Sicily are in my prayers today. Let there be more smiles than tears. I know thats a lot to ask.
Hugs and prayers
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 11:23 AM   #603
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Reynold and I attended sweet precious Sicily's funeral service today and it was very nice. The family has been doing well - they are truly remarkable. Am so blessed to be here.

We will be driving up to Wellington, Kansas tomorrow morning for the final tribute and burial.

Thanks so much for your prayers.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 11:31 AM   #604
jor
Stazon Splitcoast
 
jor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Southeastern PA
Posts: 29,117
Default

Praying for safe travels for everyone tomorrow. And of course, so much more for strength, peace, comfort and all.
__________________
Joanne Ryder
jor is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 11:59 AM   #605
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

I am so glad you are there. Safe travels. Keep in touch with us.
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 01:05 PM   #606
Stazon Splitcoast
 
hedgiemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 10,139
Wink

Safe travels Cat. (((hugs)))
__________________
~Karen
hedgiemama is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 01:28 PM   #607
Stazon Splitcoast
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: a faraway place - Wausau, Wisconsin
Posts: 15,189
Default

I have been following this journey of Sicily's on the thread for a long time. I just do not post much buy I have prayed many many time for her and her family.
They are all in my thoughts and prayers. I will light another vigil light on Sunday for Sicily at our church to guide her.
I cried when I read the post that she joined the angels.
Caterinas writings are so remarkable and will never leave me. She has such a faithful way and making me feel at peace while reading. Her journey of writings would be an inspiration to other familys starting their journey with their child.

I pray everyone has very safe travels.
meluvstampin is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 06:19 PM   #608
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by meluvstampin View Post
I have been following this journey of Sicily's on the thread for a long time. I just do not post much buy I have prayed many many time for her and her family.
They are all in my thoughts and prayers. I will light another vigil light on Sunday for Sicily at our church to guide her.
I cried when I read the post that she joined the angels.
Caterinas writings are so remarkable and will never leave me. She has such a faithful way and making me feel at peace while reading. Her journey of writings would be an inspiration to other familys starting their journey with their child.

I pray everyone has very safe travels.
Thank you so very much for following sweet Sicily's journey; your thoughts and prayers are so very appreciated.

Just wanted to let you know that all the caringbridge posts are written by Sicily's awesome mother, Kerry, not me. Kerry is a remarkable woman as well as the rest of the family. Both my husband and I are very privileged to know them and even more blessed to be with them during this difficult time. We will be attending Sicily's final tribute and burial in Wellington, Kansas tomorrow and will be sure to express your kindness to Kerry.

Thanks again.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 06:27 PM   #609
Stazon Splitcoast
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: a faraway place - Wausau, Wisconsin
Posts: 15,189
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by caterinafmig View Post
Thank you so very much for following sweet Sicily's journey; your thoughts and prayers are so very appreciated.

Just wanted to let you know that all the caringbridge posts are written by Sicily's awesome mother, Kerry, not me. Kerry is a remarkable woman as well as the rest of the family. Both my husband and I are very privileged to know them and even more blessed to be with them during this difficult time. We will be attending Sicily's final tribute and burial in Wellington, Kansas tomorrow and will be sure to express your kindness to Kerry.

Thanks again.
OOOPPS! I knew that and yet I put the wrong name in. Sorry about that and thank you. Its been a long day.
meluvstampin is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2010, 06:32 PM   #610
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by meluvstampin View Post
OOOPPS! I knew that and yet I put the wrong name in. Sorry about that and thank you. Its been a long day.


No problem.... understand long days.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2010, 10:39 AM   #611
Die Cut Diva
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: KS. (the official middle of nowhere)
Posts: 3,774
Default

Caterina,

I have thinking of the Zekas and you today. Up here in Wichita, the morning was glorious, and it didn't get gloomy until noon. I kept hoping the it was like that in Wellington also. It was the most beautiful morning, perfect for angels. I, too, have followed Sicily's story since reading about it here on Splitcoast. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
__________________
NEED BOX TOPS FOR EDUCATION PLEASE! http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/fo...e-t564295.html
contrapat is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2010, 11:10 AM   #612
Pearl-ExPert
 
janiekay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Foster dog REX is up for adoption at www.mwdr.org
Posts: 2,993
Default Thoughts and prayers go out to all!

Keeping all who loved the Zeka's in my thoughts and prayers! Safe travel for all who are attending services.
janiekay is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2010, 02:23 PM   #613
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by contrapat View Post
Caterina,

I have thinking of the Zekas and you today. Up here in Wichita, the morning was glorious, and it didn't get gloomy until noon. I kept hoping the it was like that in Wellington also. It was the most beautiful morning, perfect for angels. I, too, have followed Sicily's story since reading about it here on Splitcoast. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.


The weather was windy but sunny at the grave site. It did get cloudy at the reception but we were able to have a balloon launch. Many pink, yellow and purple balloons went up into the air.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2010, 02:26 PM   #614
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Reynold and I are back in Broken Arrow, OK after our trip to the burial of sweet Sicily. She was laid to rest near her grandparents in their hometown of Wellington, Kansas.

Again, her family did extremely well throughout this whole ordeal. Thanks so much for your awesome prayers.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2010, 03:50 PM   #615
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

The Zeka family has been in my thoughts and prayers all weekend.
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2010, 04:25 PM   #616
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

We are back home from our trip to Oklahoma. The entire time was a blessed one to have had the opportunity to be with Sicily's family. Surely, God's grace was very evident during our time there. Trusting God to continue to shower the Zekas with His love, grace, mercy and peace as the Easter holiday approaches and, of course, Sicily's birthday on April 15th. She would have been five years old.

Thank you all for your loving support and prayers along this journey.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2010, 06:55 PM   #617
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

To my sweet Angel Face, Sicily,

When God Calls Little Children...

When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His Love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold,
So He picks a little rosebud before it can grow old.
To make the land of heaven more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult, still, somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "goodbye."
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children... Angels are hard to find.




Remembering Sicily who has a special place in the hearts of so many...
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2010, 07:06 PM   #618
Die Cut Diva
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: KS. (the official middle of nowhere)
Posts: 3,774
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by caterinafmig View Post
To my sweet Angel Face, Sicily,

When God Calls Little Children...

When God calls little children to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His Love.
For no heartache compares with the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild.

Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold,
So He picks a little rosebud before it can grow old.
To make the land of heaven more beautiful to view.

Believing this is difficult, still, somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows will always be "goodbye."
So when a little child departs, we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children... Angels are hard to find.




Remembering Sicily who has a special place in the hearts of so many...
That's beautiful, Caterina.
__________________
NEED BOX TOPS FOR EDUCATION PLEASE! http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/fo...e-t564295.html
contrapat is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2010, 04:55 AM   #619
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

Catrina, ditto, that is a beautiful poem. I read Kerry's latest journal entry, as I have said repeatedly, her writing and faith is amazing, her faith has really helped me in my walk with God. I hope some day she decides to write a book about Sicily. I will be first in line to purchase it. I will continue to pray for them all.
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2010, 09:03 AM   #620
Insane Embellisher
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 911
Default

Caterina~

I am glad to see you are back. My thoughts and lots of prayers were with you. And, of course with her siblings and family.

It sounds like a wonderful service for her. I have never been to one like that. I have only been to Jewish funerals, and my mother-in-law's funeral, who was a Christian, but had a more traditional service. A celebration of life... beautiful.

I can not find an address to send a card, if you don't think it is too late to send one. If it is acceptable, could I please have her family member's names? I want to make separate cards for her siblings.

And, if you are willing, only, I would love a mailing address for you and your husband.

PLEASE EMAIL this to me. Don't post it here, honey.

I want to pray now,

Heavenly Father, I lift up my Sister, Caterina at this time. Lord, you know how her heart hurts. How she is trying to hold on to every possible memory of her time with Sicily. Lord, I ask that you please let her feel your peace, and that you will help her to remember what is beneficial for her, and to forget what is not. I pray that Caterina will feel your loving presence as clearly as if you were sitting beside her all day...all night. That she will feel free to turn to you and cry. Perhaps she can turn to her friends and Sisters here and let the raw emotion pour out. Dear Lord, I pray that you would
use Caterina as an example of unconditional love. We know she didn't love her to be noticed, Lord Jesus, but she certainly has been a wonderful example of pure love here on the thread. Lord, I ask that you show her love to a larger audience. I have learned so much from her, I'm sure others could also.

Lord, I love you. You are unconditional Love. You give unconditional love.
Caterina has learned this lesson from you well. Lord, in my opinion. She has been a good and faithful servant who has done well. Please let her know that you are proud she is a child of yours. Let her feel a love for and from you like she has never felt, please Lord. We hate to think of her in pain.

Of course, I pray that you do whatever you see fit. For you know all. Thank you Lord, for letting us share our hopes, loves, fears with you. I love you, Lord, even though I do not like what has happened. I love you.

Amen.

He IS Able,
Traci S.
Traci S. is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2010, 09:24 AM   #621
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Kerry's latest post... Part 1...

Sunday, March 28, 2010 10:04 PM, CDT

Hello all,

I will wake up and crawl out of bed every morning and twist every set of blinds open in our house as to peer out the window in search of sunshine…my sunshine. Some days, like today, the sun will be hiding behind the gray clouds and its warmth will be absent through the cold blowing winds. But…I know the sun is still there. Why? Because God said it always would be, at least until He is ready for it to no longer shine. He gave us the sun, the moon and the stars. No matter what Mother Nature does to conceal these gifts that prove His existence, we all know they are there and they will reappear time and time again!

Life goes on. Seasons change. Flowers bloom, then they wilt. Trees bud, then they shed their leaves. The ocean cycles between high tide and low tide. This is all part of God’s plan. I accept it. Some flowers wilt before they fully bloom. Some trees lose leaves while they are still green. Sometimes the ocean’s waves go beyond their normal boundaries and devour land that was supposed to remain dry. Do we always question God when these things happen? Maybe at times, but why? Why do we feel the need to look a gift horse in the mouth? Though my heart aches beyond the depths of my soul and I struggle with even some of the simplest of daily tasks, I still refuse to ask God why Sicily is gone. Instead, like our priest said during her service, I will not focus on why she died, but rejoice in why she lived!

Please bear with me as it may take me quite some time to write everything I want to write concerning the past several days. In one redundant word, it was all “Beautiful!” I don’t want to forget one second of it so I plan to journal a little here and a little there. Sometimes I will throw in something I may have already touched on but want to elaborate on a little more. I am a little in selfish mode right now wanting to document every detail for myself, but I also continue to feel the overwhelming need to share in hopes that someone else may still benefit. All are welcome to “stay on board!”

Thursday morning was one of dread and nervous excitement all rolled up into one. This was to be the day we would get to see our precious little girl’s body laying in the coffin we had just recently selected. The coffin I was overwhelmed to even look at just the Saturday before as I could visualize her laying in it, and that haunted me. I remain grateful that we were able to leave that Saturday afternoon after making some pre-arrangements at the funeral home and return to Sicily and kiss her on the forehead. That was Saturday, March 20th…the first day of spring and the day we witnessed the “uncommon” Oklahoma weather phenomenon of having temperatures in the low seventies one day and a winter like snowstorm the next.

We all noticed and commented on how these were the most beautiful and biggest snowflakes we’d ever seen, gently falling from above. Snowflakes that a dear friend of mine later revealed where not truly snowflakes at all, but were the clippings of the angel wings that were being fitted and prepared up in heaven for our little Sicily. Those snowflakes were the scraps falling as the angels above were busy snipping and clipping. What peace that thought brings to me. Sicily was even witness to this snow. She seemed a little disinterested, as she had quickly grown to be about anything of late, but maybe it was because she already knew what was happening. She already knew her wings were waiting for her and she was close to being ready to try them on. Again, I find deep peace in that!

Thursday morning I was able to feel a small sense of calmness buried inside my anxious exterior before we left the house. Corinthian and Isabella went onto school as Elias continued to stay home with us. My brother flew in from South Carolina on Wednesday and spent time entertaining him and helping us with other needs. They both escorted us when we went for our first visitation to the funeral home. Right before we headed out the door, I felt a little overwhelmed and panicked as I tried to collect a few last items that all of a sudden came to mind that I wanted to take with me. I passed by the deck of UNO cards sealed in a plastic ziplock bag on a buffet table. These cards traveled with us to every inpatient hospital stay. I grabbed the deck and opened the bag to grab a card. Then it struck me, I needed to get a specific card…Sicily’s favorite card…the “Draw Four.” I thumbed through and found one and added it to my small pile of symbolic objects I wanted to take. As I did, I could hear in my head Sicily’s sassy voice say, “Draw four, sista!”

The last item I scrambled around the house looking for was one of her favorite knitted hats with hair made by Aunt Glenda. These hats were left everywhere around the house the past nineteen months but when I actually needed to locate one, I could not find a single hat. Patrick, Elias and Kevin had already loaded up in the van and were waiting out in the garage, but Patrick came back into the house to find out what was taking me so long. I explained in desperation my need to find one of these hats. They were a huge part of Sicily’s personality and part of her signature trademark appearance. Sicily never missed having hair since Glenda made her these hats. She would flip her ponytails back if they got in her way like little girls with long hair often do. She would pull the yarn hair back in a ponytail holder or a clippie. The best part was she could just remove the hat from her head when she was tired of having hair and enjoy the many benefits of baldness (there truly are benefits!). I finally located one and we left a little behind schedule, but my heart’s desire had been fulfilled. I had what I needed.

The mid morning weather was that of clouds and a cold soft wet mist that sprayed on us as we drove up into the parking lot of the funeral home. We gathered our symbolic belongings and walked through the double doors. The receptionist paged our funeral director; a wonderful woman who I soon realized was in my head and in my heart for what she did with Sicily’s precious body. She saw my vision. She led us to a room where the door was closed. As she approached, she stopped and flipped a piece of paper over in a clear frame just to the right of the door frame. There, printed in black, was our daughter’s name and the visitation hours. Not that I had retreated from reality, but seeing those words permanently printed on paper caused my stomach to twist into knot. I didn’t think there was room for another knot.

We continued into a room that first greeted us with the aroma of fresh cut flowers and then the absolutely beautiful sight of them. The room was of generous size and Sicily’s white coffin was tucked safely in the corner opposite the door with all the aromatic and colorful arrangements standing guard around her. They looked proud to be sharing the room with such an angel. From the door, I could see just the top of Sicily’s little face and as I walked to her, I was in awe of her absolute beauty. She was so breathtaking…so peaceful looking…so perfect. I turned and looked at our funeral director standing in the doorway and through grateful tears I thanked her for doing such an amazing job. She did Sicily such justice. She truly looked like an angel in her yellow Easter clothes with the white feathered wings tucked behind her back and a white marabou halo wrapped around her forehead. Her hands and long slender fingers were gently overlapping on her tummy. I took out the draw four UNO card and asked the funeral director to place it in one of her hands. She did.

Above her head in the pink satin lined coffin, I placed a pink metal wall sign that said, “Jesus Loves Me,” and beside it one of her favorite pink Hello Kitty chap sticks (there was plenty of pink!). I had brought along some pictures to be pinned to the top upper lining of her coffin, but chose against using any as the gold crucifix hanging there did not need any distractions. My tears flowed but all the while I could not let go of the smile on my face. Seeing her made me smile, just as in life, so she did in death. I knew we had other obligations for the day, but I wanted to stay in that room and soak up the beauty all around us the entire day. Elias felt honored that he was the first to sign Sicily’s guest book. Small acts make him happy. What a blessing.

We placed mounted 16” x 20” photos I had blown up of Sicily all around the room. Her presence was undeniable. I felt so comfortable being there and felt so close to her spirit. We were able to stay for a couple of hours before we needed to head home for a quick bite of lunch. A dear friend, along with others, filled our house with fantastic food. At 1:30, we attended a little service for Sicily’s preschool where Father Joe led us in prayer and many who loved our little girl shard stories about her. I found so many more reasons to smile when I heard all the sweet words.


__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2010, 09:26 AM   #622
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Part 2

Afterwards, we headed straight back to the funeral home. We were so surprised when we returned to find Sicily's "Sicilian Grandparents" who flew in from Maryland to be with us. We were so moved and excited to see them. This is a couple we became close to due to the Cole's Foundation. Caterina and Reynold are truly a blessing to us and have been there with us from the beginning.

Once again, we could only stay with Sicily for a couple of hours as we needed to get home to greet our older two children as they returned from school. Family members from both sides began to filter in. Some were hesitant to view Sicily, but I think once they saw her, her appearance provided them with a sliver of peace, at least I hope it did. As we prepared to leave the funeral home again, we were welcomed with a beautiful surprise as the sun was beaming out of the western sky. Considering how the day began, the warm rays of sunshine brought their healing powers to my soul. I closed my eyes for a second and once again felt Sicily’s presence.

My parents stopped at the funeral home on their way into town to visit her for the first time and then made their way to our house, which was filling up with comforting voices. Patrick and I, once again chomping at the bit to set up camp in Sicily’s room, headed back earlier than we had planned. We walked back into her room to find it empty, which was a good thing for what I was about to experience. As I approached her side, I looked down and the sight of what I saw caused me to cry out like I’d never done before. In her other hand, opposite the UNO card in the left, were two individually wrapped white life saver mints. I knew immediately where they had came from and the sadness they represented completely overwhelmed my heart. They were from Sicily’s Grandpa Parker. Every time the kids are around grandpa, they ask him for one of the mints they know he always carries in his left shirt pocket. He gave Sicily a couple of mints for the last time. One for now and one for later. The only thing with Sicily was that the second mint never made it to later! She was not very good at savoring them, as well. Five seconds in her mouth and you would hear, “chomp, chomp, chomp.” She would soon exclaim, “That was hot!” The sight of those mints really overwhelmed me with sadness. Sweet sadness, as contradictory as that may sound. We will be surrounded for the rest of our lives with bittersweet memories such as these. I will learn to embrace these memories and let them help me with the sorrow that continues to overwhelm me from time to time. Hopefully, we will be able to do this as a family!

The evening continued with a funeral home room full of family and friends. It was a full house. We felt loved. I was finally able to meet and hug my neighbor and new friend, Kendra, who gifted me the Kari Jobe CD. She shared with me how she had been struggling with Sicily’s life situation and how she debated whether or not to “bother” us on Sunday by dropping off the CD. The thought had crossed my mind several times at how different my experience with my daughter’s death would have been if I had not had that exact music to comfort me, and in the long run, help me find the peace I so long to have! I know this has provided Kendra with peace, as well. I have an addiction to this music. Kari’s voice is so angelic and I feel so close to Sicily when I listen to it because in addition to Patrick’s and my voice, this was the last thing Sicily physically heard on earth.

The song, “Beautiful” will forever be etched in my heart. With words like, “Here, before your alter, I am letting go of all I’ve held…of every motive, every burden, everything that’s of myself. And I just want to wait on you, my God. I just want to dwell on who you are. Beautiful, beautiful, oh I am lost for more to say. You’re beautiful to me. Here, in Your presence, I am not afraid of brokenness. To wash Your feet with humble tears, I would be poured out till nothing’s left…” and it continues. I feel like these words came out of my heart and ended up in Kari’s mind and hand for her voice to sing just for Sicily and I. Sicily’s life was so “Beautiful!” It will be so amazing for the rest of my life to have that music to help me stay connected to my little angel!

Corinthian and Isabella handled things pretty well when they arrived early evening to see their little sister. Isabella showed her first real signs of emotions which calmed my worries about how she was going to deal with this. She asked if she could touch Sicily, and I told her absolutely. Her response after she laid her hand on Sicily’s hand was, “she feels cold and hard.” And then it hit me how I could better explain Sicily’s appearance to Isabella and other children who would be viewing a deceased person for the first time. My mom had made a comment only a short while earlier about how Sicily looked like a little doll. That’s it. I decided to start explaining that because Sicily is now living in heaven, God turned her body into a porcelain doll. Anyone who has ever touched the face or hand of a porcelain doll knows they feel hard and cold. Sicily’s body was just that. Since she did not need it anymore, God allowed her to become a doll so we could enjoy looking at the last thing that belonged to her and envision how beautiful she looks in heaven. I could not stop looking at my doll. God had done well! Elias also continued to look over the sides of Sicily’s casket and gaze in awe at her stunning appearance. It felt good to be able to explain to Isabella and other younger children that when we are done with our earthly bodies, God turns them into dolls.

Nine o’clock came too fast for us as it was time for us to leave the funeral home and head home. Through tears, I asked Patrick if he thought they would notice if I just curled up on the couch in that room and stayed there all night. Without hearing what I had said, Elias voiced the same request…”Mom, I wish I could sleep on that couch and stay with Sicily all night!” I knew the next day was going to be a doozy, so with a heavy heart we left.

To be continued…



Kerry

__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2010, 09:50 AM   #623
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Traci, thanks so very much for your lovely prayer, it is so humbling to read. God bless you abundantly for your kindness.

As for the Zeka's address, it has been posted many times on this thread and will be happy to post it again.

Mom, Kerry, Dad, Patrick,
Brothers, Corinthian, 14 and Elias, 8
Sister, Isabella, 12
6800 South Sycamore Avenue
Broken Arrow, Oklahoma 74011-6060

Thank you again, you are a blessing and truly an encourager.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-31-2010, 05:24 AM   #624
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

Still sending up prayers for the Zeka family, praying they are still feeling God's presence in their everyday lifes, without little Sicily.
Hugs and Prayers from KY
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-31-2010, 05:59 PM   #625
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Part I

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 5:35 PM, CDT

Hello all,

Last Friday morning, the morning of Sicily’s funeral, I awoke to the words, “Be still, my soul, be still.” The chorus to another one of my favorite Kari Jobe songs, aptly titled, “Be Still.” Once again, like so many other times, I felt God’s presence. This song begins with.. “He is here for the broken and life to the one who is undone. He is peace to the wounded and hope for the helpless one. He is here. He is here. Be still, my soul, be still. Wait patiently upon the Lord.” What a perfect way to start the morning on that very special day.

I’ve been anxious to journal about last Friday, but also reluctant as I don’t know if I can do it justice. I will try.

The sun was shining brightly, as I had hoped and prayed it would be. It was a strange feeling getting ready for our little girl’s funeral. I felt calm in a peculiar way, but only because God had told my heart and soul to “be still!” They were obeying so my mind apparently decided to join them.

Like the day before, I was so anxious to get to our church so I could see Sicily once again, even though to see her meant to view her lying in a coffin. It still didn’t matter. That was the last thing that physically belonged to her and by being near her body it made me feel near to her. This desire led to a little nervous energy, but things progressed smoothly around the house as we all tried to get ready. I hadn’t even decided what I was going to wear, although I had several things picked out and set aside. I’ve come to the conclusion that my closet is not lacking in color! It made me happy to look for articles of pink and yellow clothing. It made me even happier to wear them and think how much Sicily would have enjoyed looking at us…her spring garden in bloom.

The funeral was scheduled to begin at 11:00am and we arrived at 10:00. Pulling into the parking lot, I was amazed at how many cars were already there. I could feel the strings starting to pull tightly on my heart when I saw several dear familiar faces. We parked and unloaded three black trash bags full of stuffed animals. The thought came to me just the evening before about how I’d like to collect some of the dozens of soft, fluffy and fury little comfort items Sicily had received over the past nineteen months, and set them out for others to take to help comfort them. I just wanted to share a little bit of Sicily. Our whole journey was about sharing her…she was just too big not to share. I kept several very sentimental stuffed animals for us to still cling to at home, but this was just a gesture to give others a small piece of this amazing little girl. The tables were cleared in no time. I felt comforted by watching others carrying around stuffed teddy bears and kitties, doggies and elephants, just to name a few. Many of the new owners were adults who were in need of a “security object” more than a lot of the kids were. It brought me another step closer to the peace I continue to pursue.

The show of love and support was overwhelming…overwhelming in the best kind of way. Patrick and I, in hindsight, describe it as “It’s A Wonderful Life” type of experience. We could not believe the extent of the support. We had family, friends and colleagues who flew and drove in from all over the country to be with us. Again, as I’ve explained many times, we were beyond humbled. Just humbled. As I sit here at my kitchen table typing these words, my heart is warmed all over again.

Sicily’s coffin was allowed to be opened until about twenty minutes before the service. She was just as beautiful in death as she was in life and I just wanted for those who were never able to see her lively beauty before to still be a witness, one way or another.

The hour approached when it was time for the processional to begin down the isle of the church. The masses of our supportive family gathered behind Patrick and I along with our three children as we lined up behind Sicily’s white coffin. It was there that I truly grasped what this was; what all this meant. This symbolic ceremony was equivalent to Sicily’s wedding for us…personally, as her mother, I began to feel this. In a sense, we were marrying her off to Jesus.

She was in a pure white coffin surrounded by her loving family and a multitude of friends. We all appeared to be dressed more for a celebratory reason rather than a mournful one. Again, I always feel compelled to explain things through my heart, as that is what leads me through life. My heart, though broken, was so proud and so full of love. We had Patrick’s sister film the service for us and I am so very glad we did. I have yet to watch it but will very soon.

The scriptures were so meaningful and poignant, and Father Joe, whom Sicily often referred to as, “Her friend,” honored her like no other could. The music, oh the music…it was the most beautiful I’ve heard, wedding or funeral. I was actually asked if the two members of our church choir who sang all six songs had a CD. Their voices were that moving! Patrick and I chose four songs and two others were added. My favorite was, “Shepherd Me, Oh God.” It’s Psalms 23 set to music. There is something beautifully haunting about this tune, and I can’t get it out of my head…”Shepherd me, oh God, beyond my wants, beyond my fears, from death into life.” This is the only way I can explain how I will get through this heartbreak in life. I will let Him shepherd me. He will get me through this. All I have to do is let Him. The heartbreak will not go away, but He has promised to comfort me and He has, is and will.

I still struggle trying to find the words to do justice for how beautiful this experience was for us. Patrick and I tried early on to not direct much attention toward the things that Sicily couldn’t do or would never do (i.e., graduations, a wedding). The list would have been long and too much for our hearts and souls to bear. Instead, we celebrated what she did get to do in her four years, eleven months and six days of life. The list was equally as long, though the accomplishment and experiences were smaller in scale. What was most important was that Sicily never thought of these things as anything less. Everything was HUGE to her. She appreciated it all! She got to ride a camel…twice. It may have only been at a local farm and pumpkin patch and not in the desserts of Egypt, but it was a camel ride, none-the-less (I have yet to ride a camel).

Her funeral service was everything I wanted for her and everything she deserved, and more. It meant so much to us. Watching and listening to the video will provide some of the comfort I crave. The service was followed by an exceptional meal hosted by wonderful members of our church. Few realized it was a “meatless” meal being that it was a Friday during lent.

__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-31-2010, 06:06 PM   #626
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Part II


I wrote a journal entry a long time ago, probably soon after Esther’s passing, where I proclaimed that I would accept God’s will, whatever it may be. In my mind, I signed a contract when I made that declaration. I never knew how hard it was going to be to truly accept Sicily’s death as the will of God, but I have also never questioned God’s will and have no intention of every doing so. For this, I think I am being rewarded by seeing the impact this little girl, my precious daughter, had on hearts near and far. God continues to show me the purpose of her life. She had a true purpose and she gave me a purpose.

Six years ago, I was at risk for settling into a self absorbed life style. Nothing horribly sinful, just “me” focused and not “God” centered. My life was filled with many blessings, some of which I might have taken for granted. My life was filled with what I perceived as mediocrity and void of my own personal self worth. I am still selfish in claiming that she was sent to save me. God sent Sicily to save me. First, she saved me and then as part of her legacy, she will continue to bring people closer to Him, hopefully through what He enables me to write. God took her home as her work on earth was done. She succeeded and I know He is pleased! I am so proud of her and stand in awe and amazement. But I still miss her terribly!

I’ve had many beautiful poems and stories shared with me on why God brings children home to be with Him in heaven, though some still can’t see past the cruelty, as it may appear. I love these analogies and truly find comfort in adding them to my imagination and my honest understanding of why, personally, our daughter earned her wings. If you’ve ever looked closely at the way angels are depicted in artwork and figurines, they are sweet gentle faced children. I have yet to find a gray haired, wrinkle faced angel at the local Hallmark store. I do know they exist as I had four of them in my life that served as my grandparents. God needs children in heaven just as we need them here on earth. I can’t imagine heaven without them, and I am proud that I got to spend almost five years with one before she returned home.

Every day, for who knows how long, I will shed tears brought on by simple little reminders, like Sicily’s favorite pair of sparkly pink tennis shoes with a pair of socks still tucked inside. I came across them the other day and bawled. Over in the corner of our cluttered bedroom is a laundry basket with pairs of Hello Kitty underwear and pj’s neatly stacked and ready to be put away. Those are the sights and reminders that cause the tears of despair to creep their way into my day. I’m learning to simply say, “I trust you, Jesus,” and forge ahead through the tears to address the matters that need to be dealt with.

These “things” scattered throughout our house are just that, “things”… material objects, but it’s hard to disassociate the sentimental attachment I place on them as they were “her” belongings. I will take my time, but also feel the need to move forward, at the same time. I will pull in help when it’s too much for me to handle alone. Through Sicily, I’ve learned to accept help and also ask for it when in need, as well. Something I’ve never been too good at but learned through our experience that it’s a two way blessing!

Our dear priest had mentioned the idea of having butterflies released during one of Sicily’s services. Patrick and I loved the thought and looked deeply into doing it. Unfortunately, the temperatures had to be a certain degree and the weather conditions just right for this to work so we were unable to obtain the butterflies to do this. Rest assured this will still happen at some point. I explained our wish to Pablo’s mommy and she sent our kids a butterfly kit. We will, in essence, grow our own butterflies and release them at Sicily’s grave site one of these days.

Pablo’s parents, Jeff and Jo Ann, were the first to share the symbolism of butterflies after their encounter after Pablo’s passing. I just fell in love with them. I read in a catalog, of all places, a description about the symbol of the butterfly. The catalog was for hand blown glass Christmas ornaments and I was compelled to tear this page out and save it. Unbelievably, I just found it…“Symbolic of resurrection and eternal life, the butterfly emerging from its cocoon represents the resurrection of Christ from the tomb. Just as the butterfly comes forth with a new body, those who trust in Christ come forth in new life. The butterfly also represents flight, freedom and creative thinking. A symbol of spring, the butterfly reflects the beauty of nature.” This is why I fell for them and this explanation also helped to remind me of how incredible I found the timing of Sicily’s passing to be.

God’s ways are not our ways. Father Joe had told us days before Sicily died that there are no funerals scheduled during the last few days of Holy week, preceding Easter. In my head, I felt panicked and begged Sicily to hold on until after Easter, which at that time I thought was a very feasible possibility. She and God had it all planned and little did I know that I need not worry. Her “funeral week” right before Holy week would help us enter into the most important celebration of our faith with a totally different perspective and bring meaning to Easter beyond what we could ever imagine! It is an undeniable “God” thing and I am so thankful for everything He has done for us!

I just need to add a small housekeeping item. We’ve had a lot of requests for information on where to send donations to Sicily’s memorial scholarship. Please send to: Bank of Commerce, 201 West Harvey Ave., Wellington, KS 67152 or call (620)326-7471. Thanks!

I will close and add again, “To be continued…”

Kerry
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2010, 02:30 PM   #627
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Thinking of sweet Sicily and her family on this day, Resurrection Sunday.
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-2010, 09:07 AM   #628
Insane Embellisher
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 911
Smile Sharing...

I had a very special Easter weekend. I didn't go to church, I didn't have a big dinner.

I pretty much spent most of my time with the Lord. On Good Friday, the thought popped into my head...and it didn't go away until I woke up today. On Monday! My thought was selfish in nature.

I wondered what MY life would have been like if Jesus hadn't died such a death on the cross for me, and Rise Up Again on the third day. What if He didn't die for my sins?

It was heat breaking to imagine. My eyes would still be sealed. I would not be able to go to Him any time, anywhere and "talk" to Him. I would not be able to pray for others which I truly love to do. Move Mountains... I don't believe so. I would not have this incredible Holy Spirit, who helps lead me to do right from wrong. I still have the choice, but He points me in the right directions.

No forgiveness, No Grace, No acceptance, No Big Family, No Sister and Brothers in Christ...everything would be different. Sin and Temptation would probably win over me. I would still be drinking. I would have no desire to better myself, or serve Him, or serve anyone for that matter.

I felt so amazingly grateful after spending 2 full days thinking about that. I Thank Him, for EVERYTHING He has done for me, and has Given me...like Hope.

Then I thought about the world. Imagine a world without Christ leading so many people's hearts. It would be a terrifying thought, in my opinion. Crimes...deadly attacks...not belonging to a larger body...all gone. Sin would rule, the enemy would be having a party!

Luckily for me/us. Jesus Christ won that victory for us! I have never been more thankful for Him than now, after the weekend of deep thinking. I am so glad we have each other.

I challenge each of you to ask yourself the same questions. It was a wonderful experience for me.

He IS Able,
Traci S.
Traci S. is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-2010, 09:28 AM   #629
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Part I

Monday, April 5, 2010 11:19 AM, CDT


Hello and good “day after Easter,”

Yes, it was our first holiday without our sweet spring sunshine be-bopping around the house in search of hidden Easter eggs, but we made it through. The Easter bunny still left some goodie in Sicily's basket that we placed along side the other three with a note that read, “Dear Zeka Kids, I know little Sicily is in Heaven with our Savior, Jesus, now, but I still wanted to bring something in her honor. Share with your parents and each other!”

We spent the morning at church and the rest of the day outside planting various items we'd received in her honor. We were going to wait and do some of the planting closer to her birthday on April 15th, but I was in need of reclaiming my dinning room table. We had our own personal greenhouse.

I find myself inhaling and exhaling very deeply a lot these days. I guess I'm trying to fill the emptiness I feel in my heart with air...with something...the hollowness can sometimes be so overwhelming it's hard to even describe it in words. It's a lost feeling and one that is so very hard to attempt to control, although I haven't stopped trying to. It feels like hunger pains in my heart. I can only try to feed it and soften its “growling” from time to time with thoughts, memories, photographs and videos that I have around me and carry with me. I know this emptiness will never go away, but time will hopefully aide in the level of how deep it goes...how much I notice it on a daily basis. Right now, it's presence is constant. The business of life around us only serves as very short spells of temporary distraction. Dear Lord, I miss her sooooo much!!!

I want to back up to Saturday, a week ago, the day of Sicily's graveside service and burial. We traveled to Wellington Friday evening after the funeral and a quick trip home to pack. The weather forecast for Saturday was not to be in our favor, yet we awoke to the sun triumphantly hanging in the eastern sky. I awoke for the third day in a row with another Kari Jobe chorus in my head. This time it was from her song, “Healer.” Over and over I heard, “Nothing is impossible for you, nothing is impossible for you, nothing is impossible for you!” Words of comfort to get me through yet another difficult day.

Once again, like the previous two days before, I was anxious to get to the funeral home there in Wellington for the two hours of viewing before the caravan to the cemetery. My pride in Sicily as my daughter did not diminish or fade in even the slightest shade after her passing. I wanted to be at her side constantly, as she was with me in life. I often called her my “little shadow” as she was never far from me at home during the day when we were by ourselves.

We arrived at the funeral home a little before nine o'clock and my heart pounded as I anxiously walked through the doors. Calmness washed over me as I laid my eyes upon her once again. She traveled well. She continued to look like the most beautiful sleeping angel I had ever seen. In her hands she still clutched the UNO card and two lifesaver mints. The small chapel soon filled with sympathetic and loving familiar faces. My heart was strong...Sicily made it that way. I cried less than I thought I would. I often wondered if my body would ever slow in its ability to conjure up tears and it appeared to have done so, at least for awhile. I continued to stand in awe at how many souls God let this little girl touch.

The hour of eleven approached before I knew it and before I was truly ready. Sicily's pure white casket with the soft pink lining would be closed for the very last time....not to be opened again. Closed forever. Not being able to gaze upon or touch the doll of Sicily was a hard notion for me to swallow. All things must come to an end. Her life had ended and soon the celebration of her life would end, as well. Nothing in life is meant to continue in perpetual motion. There will always be a beginning and an ending...a starting line and a finishing line...the alpha and the omega.

The only thing that can be eternal is the life God promised us hereafter. I've decided to let myself accept that. Such a hard decision but one that will bring me comfort for the hours, days and years I have yet to live. My life will continue to be filled with the joys my husband and surviving three children will create. I have to see beyond the brokenness that surrounds my existence right now. God did not create me to live for Sicily, alone. It's hard to explain to others how a parent feels like they could lay down and die right beside their dieing child, even when that child is the last of four...there are other siblings. We have three other incredible lives to live for, but the pain of losing one can be that unbearable. Knowing this and experiencing these types of emotions helps to bring me out of the despair that glues itself to me at times like this. I'm constantly fighting with “despair” and so far I've continued to come out victorious, but only because I know we are being carried through all of this in prayer. We are being raised up on eagles wings...we are held in the palm of His hand! Thank you all for putting us there!

__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-2010, 09:38 AM   #630
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Part II


Patrick and I along with Corinthian, Isabella and Elias crawled into the back of a big white limo as we prepared to leave the funeral home. Elias thought it to be such a cool thing. We followed behind the matching white hearse that slowly and gently traveled through the bare Saturday morning streets of Wellington. We turned into the the cemetery and soon the green tent came into view. Clouds were starting to appear in the sky but the sun still proudly shared her warm rays with us like a spot light shining on a star upon the stage. The wind was blowing as it likes to do quite often in the midwest, but we stood our ground and said our final farewell to our precious heavenly dwelling angel.

The skies continued to attempt to crowd out the sun, but she held steady until after we did a quick release of a dozen pink and yellow balloons. About all that was left was a blue circle in the sky surrounded by various shades of gray and that is where the balloons floated towards. It was beautiful. Father Drew, the priest from St. Anthony's in Wellington, officiated over the ceremony. He assisted Father Joe the day before in Broken Arrow at our church during the funeral. Father Joe also traveled to Wellington Saturday morning to be with us during this final ceremony. By the time we filed back into the limo, the clouds had completely covered the bright sun above like the closing of the curtains after a last call. No more encores. No more applauding audience. The Sicily show was over.

We had one final gathering...a cast party, if you will. Our dear friends and a very large portion of the community came together to throw a big celebration in Sicily's honor. If her funeral the day before was equivalent to her wedding, this was her wedding reception. The room was adorned with bright colored flowers and butterflies hanging from the ceiling. Every table was covered in pink or yellow table clothes with clear containers of gumballs as centerpieces. Pink, yellow and purple balloons filled the air and even though the sun was hidden behind the clouds outside, inside this room the feeling of bright happiness was abounding! Again, I can't do it justice by words. It was so amazing.

There were tables spread with food and a video montage of Sicily played on in the background. We were gifted the most beautiful picture of our four kids that was just taken two weeks before Sicily's passing. It's my favorite picture in the whole world. It was posed on an easel for all to see at the reception and is now hanging in our bedroom so it can be the first thing I gaze upon every morning and the last thing my eyes fall on before I close them at night. It is so beautiful! I think I was only able to talk to and hug just a fraction of the wonderful people who came to honor our little girl. I needed the whole day, but all good things must come to an end...and so it did. We said farewell and packed the van full of as many plants and flower arrangements that we could squeeze in among us. All reminders of the love shared with Miss Sicily Evelyn Zeka. The one and only!

Our drive back home to Broken Arrow was a very solemn one, as I had expected it to be. The dark clouds that continued to hang low in the sky did nothing to help our demeanor. We had brief episodes of blowing rain hit the windshield. When we arrived home, the house was very quiet. Our house is rarely quiet. The sadness we felt was so thick and it seemed to have the consistency of quicksand. I did not want us to fall into that trap which can be so hard to climb out of so we put in some family home videos and had ourselves a few good laughs in between the tears. We did a little family “craughing.” Sicily provided us a lot of reasons to laugh!

The past week seems to have gone by in slow motion and sped past me all at the same time. I seem to experience things in life like this often. We've remained very busy. A life full of activity suggests a life full of purpose. I may find myself struggling as part of my life's purpose is now gone. If I want to get technical about it, I can say twenty percent of my purpose is gone. I still have eighty percent to keep me going (Patrick and our other three kids). I can more than survive on eighty percent!

On Friday I took some of the summer clothes I had previously bought for Sicily back to the stores where I had purchased them. I am a planner and tend to do some things earlier than most. My friend Kelli went with me and was my support. One store turned out to be pretty easy while another was so very painful. I laid out the clothes on the counter and apologized to the store employee for making such a large return. She politely asked if “none of them worked,” and I had to respond with, “she is in heaven!” I hated having to tell her that as I did not want her to feel compelled to apologize, which she did. It made for a bit of awkwardness but it had to be done.

When I was gathering up the clothes at home in preparation for their return, the sadness tried to overwhelm me but all I had to do was think of how these were just materialistic objects. They weren't Sicily. They weren't even a true representation of Sicily as I had picked them out...all but the two bating suits. She did like those and would have probably lived in them all summer. Her clothing of choice usually centered around jeans or shorts along with t-shirts, preferably ones with Hello Kitty on them. Things didn't necessarily have to match for her. I loved to dress her like my own little personal Barbie doll and she was pretty good at letting me as long as we were going somewhere, but at home, her choices reigned. We could go into her closet on any given day and find a pile of clean clothes on the floor and several broken hangers still clinging to hold onto the metal clothes bar up high. She was Sicily and she marched to the beat of her own drum. We loved her for her independence and wouldn't have had her any other way. I go into her room every once and awhile just to look around. I'm getting close to wanting to work in there, but just not quite yet. I'm finding that every little thing I come across that reminds me of her hurts less and less. I hope this is something that will continue. I pray it's not a temporary coping skill that will expire soon.

I could once again type all day but life and laundry still need to be dealt with. I will add one more thing that came to my mind last week as I started to feel anxiety over photographing Corinthian, Isabella and Elias for the first time together without Sicily on Easter Sunday. I contemplated having a picture of her with them but that thought just didn't seem right. Then it came to me...something subtle and representative in nature of who Sicily was and now is. A pair of feathered angel wings similar to the ones we had placed behind her in the coffin. I quickly ordered a pair on line and they were delivered on Friday. Perfect! Now whenever we take pictures and feel the need for her presence, we will put those angel wings somewhere so at least we will know she is here with us and always will be, even though we can not physically see or hear her...we can just know! ; )



Love to you all!

Kerry
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-06-2010, 07:32 AM   #631
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

I just love reading Kerry's journaling, I hate the reason she has for it, but her writing moves me everytime. Keeping them in my prayers!!
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2010, 02:34 PM   #632
Pearl-ExPert
 
janiekay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Foster dog REX is up for adoption at www.mwdr.org
Posts: 2,993
Default DITTO!

Quote:
Originally Posted by shelsmom View Post
I just love reading Kerry's journaling, I hate the reason she has for it, but her writing moves me everytime. Keeping them in my prayers!!
I totally agree!
janiekay is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-09-2010, 03:29 PM   #633
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Friday, April 9, 2010 2:33 PM, CDT


Good afternoon,

This is a journal entry that my mind and heart have been writing for the past couple of days and today I almost felt sick at my stomach...in a good way, if that is possible...to get this written down and recorded so that I may read and re-read it in the days, months and years to come.

You know that miracle we all prayed so deeply for? That miracle that we asked Father Rother to intercede on Sicily's behalf? I feel like it has been granted, but not in the way we had asked. I know so many, along with myself, personally, have prayed for peace to be found in the loss of our precious little girl. Guess what? I HAVE IT!

It's almost even too hard to express or explain in words and I am still in disbelief myself, but once again I feel like a walking answer to prayers. Peace is an amazing thing. It is so often overlooked because we just don't think it can exist, especially so soon after a gigantic tragedy and loss. It does exist. I have peace with Sicily's dying. I have peace not having her beside me everyday. Why? I try very hard not to question God because it is something I don't want to do. Though He is a merciful and compassionate God, I still fear Him...I respect His will. He promised to comfort us if we would only allow Him to do so. That is a hard thing to do.

It's like I've written before about the need to have an open mind and more importantly an open heart. Living like this...open-hearted ...leaves a person extremely vulnerable to hurt and pain, but at the same time, comfort and strength to overcome these circumstances are promised by God and can be felt when we let the walls that seem to serve as protection to be torn down.

I'm still grieving. I still have many tears left to shed from the sadness I feel as I miss Sicily's physical presence, but the tears are void of despair. I still shake my head even as I sit and type these words, but my heart is full of joy. The sun is shining. I feel Sicily all around me. I miss her more than any adjective found in the English language can even begin to describe, but I still feel full of life. The life she gave me by living and dying that truly helped me find God! This is all so much bigger than her and I combined. God is here...sometimes He only needs to put His hand on my shoulder... sometimes I need Him to hold my hand to get me through an obstacle...other times, He picks me up and carries me to safety without me even having to ask Him for help.

He is always with me even when I feel alone. He is in my every thought through out the days when I prayed for a “fast forward” button to get me through this grieving process. I'm not done grieving. I'm not trying to skip over it...I'm embracing it and working with it instead of against it, but I will admit to being an impatient person and wanting to get the show on the road! Grief has no time line and no manual of directions that say what shan't or shouldn't and can't or couldn't be done, for the most part.

I've prayed and pleaded to God for peace...I've craved it more than the richest piece of chocolate in the world (I'm a bona fide chocoholic)...I've inhaled and exhaled to the point of light headiness. I discovered that peace, that ever elusive concept, is there for my taking...all I have to do is want it. It can be obtained. It is a gift of “inner contentment and serenity...a state of tranquility” (Webster's definition) and it is available to anyone who can let go of contempt, blame, distrust and anger.

I decided a long time ago to try and free my life of anger, if at all possible. I feel it tug on me so often and it is so destructive. I get mad over little things every day. I get mad at my kids for silly stuff all the time, but I don't want to get angry. I don't want to experience anger, I don't want to feel anger and I don't want to be exposed to anger. It is poison...as poisonous as arsenic.

There is a difference between getting “mad” and getting “angry.” Anger can spread like wild fire and burn and destroy everything in its path. It is deep seated and grows with time when it isn't dealt with or handled properly. It usually has to be directed at someone and that only adds to the pain. I can't see any good in it. I know anger is a step in the grieving process, but I can't see why I need to experience it. I can understand its presence when a loved one is lost due to foul play or an accident that could have been prevented, but that just doesn't apply to us.

So many times the anger is directed towards God. Why would I be angry at the very One who my daughter is now with? I've asked this question before and I feel like my answer came in the reward of the peace I now feel. Does that make sense? I did not get angry with God when this journey began over a year and a half ago. I was not in the place I am in now, but I still feared enough back then to not question Him. I'm not saying others shouldn't or can't, but it was just not something I felt comfortable doing. He provides answers and many times they are not noticed or they are completely overlooked because we, personally, would only accept or see the answer “we” wanted or asked for...anything else turns into an accusation that He wasn't listening or He doesn't care because we didn't get what we wanted.

I am so thankful and grateful to God for allowing me to accept His answers. That is how peace is born and that is how peace has a chance of sustaining an existence in my heart. I know this all has to sound crazy coming from a mother who just lost her precious, and I can't say it enough how precious she was to me...our precious little girl. But it's God! He has not forsaken me. Little old me...the one who can barely recite one Bible verse correctly as they all contain numbers, and for anyone who knows me, knows that numbers and I don't get along very well. Little old me...a self proclaimed “totally imperfect” Christian, who doesn't fully understand her own faith but knows that all that truly matters is having God as the center of my life! I'm still pushed way outside my comfort zone doing all this, but if I were comfortable, what would I be learning?

Once again, sorry for my ramblings. My deodorant is failing me and I'm even wearing a sleeveless shirt...that's how moved I was to sit down and write this afternoon. I'm full of nervous energy wanting to share what I have inside. I still don't feel like I got it all out or that any of it makes much sense to others, but I had to try and it will have to suffice for now. I wish I could bottle the way I feel into a perfume that I could spray and inhale every morning and then those around me would share in the benefits of its aroma, as well. I can't say I will feel this good tomorrow. I can't say how I may feel in weeks, months or years to come. All I know is how I got here in the first place. I will wake up everyday and pray for peace to continue. I will go to sleep every night and pray for it's return. That's all I know what to do. That's all I'm going to ask of myself right now!

I will continue to pray for peace to become a part of everyone around me. It is too good not to share. I will continue to look for God in my day, and by doing so, will have the opportunity to see glimpses of Sicily, as well. I will continue to write. Though it may not be as often, it is still a necessity for me and continuous therapy. I want to write a book. When that will happen or how I will go about doing it is still not clear to me, but I feel the need.
There are a million and one titles I could probably come up with and many awesome ones that have already been suggested, but the one my own mind created and my heart has wrapped around is, “All Because A Little Girl Had Cancer...the Sicily Evelyn Zeka Story.”

I stand in awe of what Sicily's cancer has done for me, and others. What her life was able to accomplish due to a disease is nothing short of miraculous. The idea to write a book was not one of my own, but suggested by many as I've written on this blog for nineteen months. Sharing our day to day experiences after the word “cancer” bombed our lives and changed them forever must have a reason. The struggles, the joys, the frustrations, the strengths and the final heartbreak all wrapped around one little girl. Most important for me has been my personal spiritual growth and consummate understanding of God's true love. If by me writing helps one other person understand God a little better, then it will be worth it!

Every one have a wonderful weekend and continue to ask God for the peace He is wanting you to have!

Kerry
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2010, 07:23 AM   #634
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

You know we have an awesome God, that he can give this beautiful Mom this kind of peace after losing her precious 4 (almost 5) year old daughter. I can't imagine for a minute what it would feel like, but she is doing so well according to her journaling, it amazes me. I am continuing to pray this peace lasts and that she has so many wonderful memories of Sicily and she knows this little girl touched so many in her short time on earth. Hugs and prayers!!!
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2010, 02:56 PM   #635
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Part I

Tuesday, April 13, 2010 3:23 PM, CDT


Good afternoon,

Today I was told some wise words from a dear relative who saw this cute quote on a church sign she recently drove by... “I don't want to live long, I just want to live well!” That fits Sicily's life to a tee. She indeed did that! Her smile that shines through out the hundreds of photographs we took of her short life are the lasting proof we hold onto.

Sunday evening I took the kids to church for their Religious Education classes and stayed for a meeting. The meeting was for Elias' First Communion and I started to feel that familiar “uncomfortable knot” forming in my throat. We watched a bit of a previous year's 1st communion mass and seeing the young girls dressed in their pretty white dresses started to make my heart ache for yet another milestone in Sicily's life that we would never celebrate. I'm excited to celebrate with Elias coming up shortly and do not want to shadow his experience due to my sadness, so I guess this was a good thing to be confronted with these emotions early on.

After the meeting was over, I had about ten minutes to kill before the kids would be released from their classes. I wondered around the church a little and found myself standing in front of a large mobile bulletin board parked outside the preschool directors office that is used to show the activities currently going on in the school. In the center of the board are a bunch of pictures of Sicily and her classmates and some of the special activities they did on her behalf, when she was in attendance. The pictures are beautiful and she is happy and smiling in each and every one of them.

My heart still aches every second of the day for her physical presence and I still wait for her to appear in my dreams. I laughed and commented to Patrick the other day that I need to change my prayer request. I've been asking God to let her come to me. Knowing Sicily and knowing that her independence truly defines her, I can hear God respond to me...”My child, she is more than welcome to come visit you in your state of slumber...I just can't get her to do it as she has a mind of her own. Rest assured, she will one of these days...” So now I just continue to ask God to gently “remind” her that she can come see me!

I stood and gazed at the photos on that board awhile longer until that knot became too hard to swallow. I felt the strong burn trying to build tears in my eyes and the overwhelming need to hold them back until I could get home. I stood a safe distance back and watched as other people approached and looked over the photos as I had done. I had to fight the urge to run up to them and claim that beautiful child as my own and tell those around me that she is gone. I knew that would only feed the self-pity I refuse to let get hold of me. So, instead, I stood back and just watched. When Elias passed by the board on our way out, he paused for a minute, as well, and looked over the numerous pictures of his smiling little sister. His only comment was, “She sure looked happy!”

When we got home, I released my tears on Patrick's shoulder and Elias joined in as well. I explained to Elias that as happy as Sicily looked in those photos and was here on earth, she is even more so now that she is living in heaven. As I stood there in our church, I realized that she was not just my child...she was truly God's child...all of our child. She ended up belonging to more than just us, her parents. We were just His trusted borrowers. He only lent her to us for awhile but let us keep the interest earned on the loan. For that, I am forever grateful. The interest we earned is an astronomical amount. There are not enough numbers in the world to run together or that could be given a name to explain what we all have earned by Him letting us borrow Sicily for awhile! Amazing!

I have learned a lot about peace these past several days. One is that it is like many other things in life that take constant work. Like faith, peace has to be wanted and sought on a daily basis. It has to be recognized in the little experiences around us as well as the big obvious ones. Like the sobriety of an alcoholic, it can be tested on a daily basis...sometimes tested hourly and down to the minute, as well. Once obtained, peace needs to be cultivated and appreciated. If well taken care of, it will stick around. It should never be taken for granted as it is one of God's greatest gifts.

I envision peace to be like a small fragile freshly planted tree that was given to me to take care of. It will grow over time and get stronger. It will put down deep roots because it never knows when a huge tornado...the equivalent of a life altering experience...could storm upon it and uproot it attempting to kill it. I wake up every morning wondering if I will continue to have this peace. I continue to feel it in my soul and it's still present in my heart. Some days, the grayness that tries to hang over me dims its brightness, but I still feel it hanging on in there, none-the-less. It is nothing short of an amazing feeling. I still find something to trigger tears to flow from my eyes everyday, but only because I miss Sicily's strong hugs and her butterfly kisses. Physical things. Things I will continue to soak up from our other three kids.

Speaking of which, I do not know where they are in the pursuit of peace. Patrick, for that matter, as well. Just because I have it doesn't mean that those around me are blessed with the same timing. My hope is that because I have found it, it will start a chain reaction and others will line up so the domino affect can continue. I don't want anyone to feel pressure to find it before they are truly ready or to feel disappointment because they can't, yet. I will help them. God will help them, and everyone else! It will be one of my goals in life for everyone, concerning Sicily's death, to experience peace with it!



__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2010, 02:57 PM   #636
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Part II

A dear family member expressed how hard this has been on her and how she can't imagine if she feels this devastated by Sicily's death, then how incredibly difficult it must be for us. I can easily explain this. Due to all the thoughts, prayers, chants, screams and whatever else has been done on our behalf, we are being sheltered under an umbrella...a safety net is right underneath us as we walk this tight rope. So I can understand that, seemingly, others are experiencing the depths of our loss as much as we are or even more so at times, as crazy as that may sound. Many who were never physically able to witness our little spark plug personally in life. That is the beauty in all this, though...they did not have to “see” her to be totally affected by her.

I find personal comfort in just being in our house, even though I am alone during the day, I just enjoy being around things Sicily loved. It can stir great emotions from time to time, but the comfort wins out over the sadness most of the time. I love looking at the rocking chair in the corner of the living room or sitting in Patrick and my bedroom where both served as Sicily's launching pad into heaven. I fill the house with Kari Jobe's sweet singing voice. I let myself feel comforted by these things instead of letting them haunt me, and haunt me they easily could. It would be so hard to handle or deal with all of this so I make a conscious effort to think of these things as tools to console me instead of detrimental weapons of despair.

So much of what I do starts out mentally. I start to tell myself I want to be okay...I want to survive this tragedy...I want to come out a better person. So far, it's working. I still don't have my rose colored glasses on. In fact, hopefully, I am not in possession of a pair anymore. Always trying to see things as hunky-dory can have an adverse affect. I want to continue to see clearly and if that means I have to use a flash light to get through the dark days, then so be it. God will be my flashlight. He provided me with enough batteries, all of you, to keep the light charged as long as there is a need to light my way! I may need that flashlight even when the sun is burning at it's highest strength...I doubt it, but I am prepared anyway!

I've had a couple of conversations lately concerning prayer and how I explain the need for it. How do I explain prayer when what we prayed for was not received? We did not get the results we begged God to give us. It's easy to answer by saying, “Well, it was not God's will.” Then what good does praying do if God already knows what He has planned? What good does our asking Him for something specific do? We don't know what God has planned for us! He told us to ask, and we would receive. It is hard, for mankind, to understand that what we receive from Him is for our own good...it is in our best interest...even if receiving the answer to a prayer comes in the form of the death of a beloved child. It makes no sense to us, but God has plans to use these difficult answers “for” us. By praying to God, we are building a personal relationship with Him. We are showing Him that we put all our faith and all our trust in Him.

I have a metal sign hanging on the wall in my bathroom that reads, “Prayer is less about changing the world, and more about changing ourselves.” God already knows the answers to the prayers we ask before we even conjure them up in our minds. He needs to know that we will come to Him for anything. But more importantly, He needs us to know that “His will be done,” as we so often pray in the Lord's Prayer, be the accepted answer to every single prayer that is ever said! Throwing questions of “Why” up to Him will not be answered in this life. Those nagging and desperate questions will only serve to cause US distress and build a barrier between the awesome relationship that is possible with Him. And when we get to heaven, there will no longer be a need to ask or know why anymore. Peace is abounding in heaven. Peace can be abounding here on earth if we want it to be. I pray that the peace I feel becomes incredibly contagious to everyone who comes in contact with me. I still get to claim complete imperfection...I don't belong on or deserve a pedestal...they are too high up and I'm afraid of heights anyway! I am a humble, middle of the road type of person. I don't do well with too much attention, but at the same time I am touchable, approachable and huggable..hee, hee..I prefer hugs to handshakes any day of the week and twice on Sunday! ; )

I am still working completely out of my comfort zone, but do it because it makes me feel like I am pleasing God. I hope this is what He wants of me. There is that cute little quote by Mother Teresa... “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much!” My biggest fear is that God will be so pleased with the job He gave me to do that He'll want to give me a promotion. I'm still struggling with the job description I currently have. But if this is truly His will for me, then I will figure out a way to conquer all my fears! I'll take a lot of deep breathes and purchase some Depends! ; )

I wanted to end with a beautiful little story that a dear friend emailed me yesterday (thank you, Shari...it was too good not to share with everyone!). I love this and think it is an awesome explanation.

Two Wolves

One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied,

“The one you feed.”

Love to you all!

Kerry
__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 06:35 AM   #637
Stazon Splitcoast
 
caterinafmig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
Posts: 25,021
Smile

Today is Sicily's Birthday --

Sending up to heaven very warm wishes for a super 5th Birthday to sweet precious Angel Face! Bet she and Jesus are having the best party ever!

__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
caterinafmig is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 07:20 AM   #638
Pearl-ExPert
 
janiekay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Foster dog REX is up for adoption at www.mwdr.org
Posts: 2,993
Default

Happy Birthday, sweet Sicily!!! Hope all your dreams have come true!
janiekay is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2010, 02:33 PM   #639
Die Cut Diva
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: KS. (the official middle of nowhere)
Posts: 3,774
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by caterinafmig View Post
Today is Sicily's Birthday --

Sending up to heaven very warm wishes for a super 5th Birthday to sweet precious Angel Face! Bet she and Jesus are having the best party ever!

I have had this date on my mind for days. Happy Birthday, Sicily!
__________________
NEED BOX TOPS FOR EDUCATION PLEASE! http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/fo...e-t564295.html
contrapat is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2010, 07:41 AM   #640
Insane Embellisher
 
shelsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,328
Default

Hoping and praying Kerry and family didn't have to rough of a day on Sicily's b-day, you know it had to be a hard time for them all. but then again, they may have had a cake a celebrated. Thats what I am hoping for.
__________________
Betty
Proverbs 3:5
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough! Chemo Angel
shelsmom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Reply





Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off