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I am not usually one to spill my heart to complete strangers but I just do not know where else to turn. My mother and I have never had a typical mother daughter relationship. For several years I did not even speak to her. Growing up, i have to fight in order to survive in my house. Fight in every sense of the word. It has taking a lot of soul searching to become the laid back NONfighter that I am today thankfully. She told me at a young age I was never wanted, that her and my dad only wanted 2 kids. She claims now that it was a joke. She said things and did things to me that people should never say or do to ANYONE let alone their own child......
That leads me to the most recent issue. Unfortunately, at this point, I actually live with me mother and her husband. When I got divorced my ex-husband drained MY bank account and took every cent I had saved. He was also the money maker in our family so I needless to say, with a 7 month old baby, I had no where to go. I am VERY greatful that she was willing to take me in and help with my little miss and I. It is rough. Who at my age wants to live with their mother. I cohabitate with her and her husband but I would not EVER call him my step dad. I go with the thought, as long as my mom is happy, that is all that matters but while i am being honest, I can not stand the man and do not have a much respect for him.
On two different occasions, both of which have been within 2 weeks of Christmas, he has kicked me and my daughter out. He is not stable with his emotions sometimes. Both times, my mother sat on the couch watching TV while he degrated and belittled me and did nothing to stop him or defend me. Which honestly, does not surprise me. Last night was no different. They were out shopping and OOPS she pocket dialed me by mistake. I ended up with a 7 minute long voice mail that they did not know was taking place. Lucky me, i get to overhear him verbally bashing me and her, not saying a word. Calling me lazy, questioning my parenting skills and picking apart my finances among other things. I am scared to death to say anything directly to him because I can not handle him degrading me in front of my daughter and kicking us out again. I had some not so nice words with my mother though.
I am a single mom, work over full time at 2 jobs and I go to school. I can not afford to move out on my own since I am not receiving any child support from my exhusband. My daughter does not need for anything though. i make sure she has everything she needs even if that means I go without, which I do quite often.
It is easy for people to tell me to JUST MOVE OUT but with a child, it is not that easy to do. I have no where to go and no money to go with. My Little Miss loves her grandma and grandpa very much. I do my best to guard her from any of the hurtful things that take place. I have not slept more than 15 hours total in the last week. I am really REALLY good at hiding my life from people I see everyday and 99% of them think I have the perfect happy little life. I do not want people to think any less of me for just how screwed up things are.
I could really just use some good thoughts my way. To help me get through this time in my life, on my journey to being the person I really want to be. I know it takes work and I am working my *** off. I am a complete non believer when it come to god so prayers mean nothing to me but some good thoughts I think, can work wonders.
Hello, I am sending good thoughts your way. Have you tried social services to see if there is any help for you, so that you are out of your mom's house and be able to live on your own?
Caroline
You should go to your nearest Public Housing Authority or Social Services Office and apply for housing assistance. The sooner the better, since there might be a waiting list. If you qualify, and I don't know why you wouldn't, you can obtain a housing voucher to assist you in paying partial or total monthly rent. In Missouri, you may even qualify for a Utility Allowance check which you use to pay your gas/water/light bills. I'm not sure if that's offered in Colorado, but it wouldn't hurt to check. That would be a good start towards self-sufficiency--and out of your mom's house. Once you finish school you'll have a much brighter future ahead. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
My heart is with you. Being a single mother is VERY VERY difficult and it takes so much work and courage and dedication. I know several single mothers, absolutely amazing people all, and it breaks my heart how they do anything for their children and like you even go without as long as their children are happy.
I'm sending vibes of strength and happiness for you.
Your ex, say he does not pay child support? Take him to court. That's pretty much the only debt he can go to jail for. It's unfair you're raising your sweet girl without any help from him at all. I'd suggest looking for someone who'd be willing to work pro bono, or search around for quotes. I know living with your mum is a great help in regards to you having someone to look after your sweetheart. Maybe you can't afford day care for your daughter if you move out, since you work 2 jobs and study. So maybe don't look into new housing, but at least look into that extra income you'd be receiving from your ex. You could start some savings for when better times arrive.
Dearest Jennifer, how my heart so breaks for you and your sweet beautiful daughter. You are a loving sweet mother and need to make sure not only your daughter is a top priority but yourself as well. The thought that your mother's husband is being so abusive is extremely detrimental to you and your daughter as well.... even though you are doing your best to shelter her, please know this situation is doing a great deal of damage to both of you.
Am in my mid-sixties now but most certainly can relate to your story in many ways and it is beyond difficult to go through. Had I known then what I know now, I would have made many healthier choices for my daughter and myself. I agree with some of the advice already given and can only pray that God will give you good direction and put people in your path that will help you out of this sad situation. You may also want to check with some churches for guidance and help. I know there is a church nearby who truly reaches out to people like yourself to help them in every way they can.
This stress & lack of sleep are not healthy & if you should fall ill due to these factors, your Mom & her partner will be caring for your daughter...and from your words, you do not want that at all!
Please find out what support is available to you ASAP!!!
{{{hugs}}}
ps I've been a single Mom & know 1st hand it is not easy.
__________________
"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!"
— Mae West
This stress & lack of sleep are not healthy & if you should fall ill due to these factors, your Mom & her partner will be caring for your daughter...and from your words, you do not want that at all!
Please find out what support is available to you ASAP!!!
{{{hugs}}}
ps I've been a single Mom & know 1st hand it is not easy.
Good thoughts please
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