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Old 08-07-2013, 02:08 PM   #1
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Exclamation Don't know where to start!

So I joined this site, and it's already helping my mood so much, and for that I will be eternally grateful (I suffer badly from depression. ). The last two days though, have been horrendous, and I need to just get it out there.

Yesterday, I had a meeting with my disability advisor, and I'm so angry I'm actually getting help from a lawyer friend to write a letter of complaint to the DWP (people in charge of benefits...). I have been getting more and more frustrated with my advisor, and let me tell you, after 20 odd years of physical and psychological abuse, it takes a LOT to get me this angry.

She informed me that I need to "move on" from my disabilities. I have depression, anxieties, chronic back pain and severe ME/CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrom). The ME/CFS is what contributes most to my depression, and there's been very few things lately that can break through it, the main ones being card making (which she has made clear that I shouldn't be indulging in, there's more important things after all, and it's not going to earn me proper money anyway (so what?!). The other thing thing helping is my relationship, which is basically a secret until his divorce comes through (that was already started before we got together, I'm not a husband stealing hussy, just an FYI! ). Her opinion on this is what has made me decide to write this complaint letter. Once his divorce comes through, I shall move in with him, we make each other happy, that matters to me so much, he actually treats me as an equal and is fine about the ME/CFS. Her comment yesterday though?

"That relationship just seems more trouble than it's worth."

Seriously, how DARE she cast aspersions on a relationship, not only is it NONE of her business, but it is highly inappropriate for somebody advising me on disability benefits to make comments on a personal relationship which is actually HELPING my health!



That had me ired up enough, then I had an encounter today that has pushed me over the edge, and made me want to rant. I made a facebook status about the situation, and somebody commented with the "I'm disabled and I work" card. A friend of mine, bless her heart, stepped up on my behalf, made a pointed comment about it, and promptly got laid into, sworn at, and told to crawl back under a rock. I defended my friend (who has aspergers, might I add), and was promptly unfriended. That wouldn't particularly bother me, but the girl who unfriended me had not stood up at all when a friend of hers had started at me, telling me that I was a lazy so and so, was effing and blinding at me no end, that I shouldn't be on benefits but forced to work, and that people on benefits should either be forced to work or be shot. I was polite to him, tried to explain that I can't get out of bed some days, that I need help brushing my hair at times too. Her reaction the next day was to laugh about it.

This is a girl who I worked with when she was 14 and I was 17 or 18, and I honestly do not understand how she's become like this, she is close-minded, rude, and I will not lose having her out of my life. I cannot forgive her attacking my friend though, it's how I've always been. And it's made me furious!

OK, rant over, I apologise. You know what though, I do not understand how people can treat others the way these two people have treated me, and I pray nobody treats them like that, because nobody deserves it.

Last edited by Breila_Cards; 08-07-2013 at 03:08 PM..
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Old 08-07-2013, 08:58 PM   #2
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Good riddance to toxic people who you thought were "friends". Find comfort in the supportive people and friendships that stick up for you and try to understand your relationship and health needs - they're the ones that really matter.
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Old 08-08-2013, 01:26 AM   #3
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I just don't understand how people can act like these two have. I had an amazing Granny who instilled in me the need to treat other people with respect, and to show them some common courtesy (as long as it didn't get in the way of her crazy golf at least! ), and it's not hard, so why on EARTH is it so obviously beyond the realms of possibilities for some people?!
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Old 08-10-2013, 07:21 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breila_Cards View Post
I just don't understand how people can act like these two have. I had an amazing Granny who instilled in me the need to treat other people with respect, and to show them some common courtesy (as long as it didn't get in the way of her crazy golf at least! ), and it's not hard, so why on EARTH is it so obviously beyond the realms of possibilities for some people?!

Grateful that your Granny taught you well. Sadly there are people in the world that can be like coarse sandpaper, inflicting hurt, pain and disappointment. I try to remember that some people really do not understand what they are doing or saying sometimes. Who knows what is in their hearts to cause them to 'act out' on others. Just continue to take positive steps with each moment and keep looking up.

As best as it is up to you live in peace... sending much support, love, hugs and prayers.
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Old 08-11-2013, 01:40 PM   #5
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Lost another woman now, who lived by the same policy, which just makes me wonder this more. Joy was a very spiritual woman, and she's such a loss to the world.
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