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Unread 08-16-2016, 09:28 AM   #1
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Default anxiety in the car

I'm really and not too happy this morning.I have problems with anxiety, particularly when a passenger in a car. I got rear-ended Friday, really hard, by someone most likely on their phone. So this morning, my almost 20 year old son took my youngest child to school and me to work. I've been stressed out/upset about a couple of other issues so I was kind of on edge to start with. Didn't feel too anxious, although he tends to drive faster than I would prefer, and follows a little too closely. And it was raining. So I did startle when he hit the breaks pretty hard, but I would have even if I was totally relaxed. So when we got to a curvy 2-lane road, I told him I needed to slow down. "I know, I know, I know... just relax." I told him all I have issues with anxiety (he is already plenty aware) and that telling me to just relax wasn't helpful. And all I said was to slow down (Hello?! I am your mother. Just. Slow. Down.). He told me I was pretty anxious during this ride and relaxing would help. He has no idea how I was feeling. I was trying to stay cool by looking at the houses, etc. I am soooo annoyed, and upset. I hate being so tense in the car but I can't really help it. He drove a good bit while we were on vacation and I did pretty well (mostly) but it now may have to be a cold day in hell before I get back in a car with him. Just needed to vent, I guess. Kind've had way too much going on lately!
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Unread 08-17-2016, 06:30 AM   #2
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I am in the same situation, it's horrible. Hopefully it will get better. Have u tried sittingin the back seat? Sometimes that really helps.
My husband gets really irritated with me sometimes,then remembers I have no control over it.
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Unread 08-18-2016, 01:13 PM   #3
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Do you knit or crochet or anything like that? I'm not a good passenger and I find that when I am focussed on something like that, I am less stressed by the driving.
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Unread 08-19-2016, 07:48 AM   #4
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I'm not sure if sitting in the back would be better or worse, but it's worth a shot.

I am able to read in the car, but only on the interstate. I was reading the news on my phone some but it's hard for me to do in traffic.




Thanks so much for the support.
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Unread 09-22-2016, 01:31 PM   #5
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I'm really a pretty calm person, and don't have anxiety issues for the most part.

BUT I do not like being a passenger in a car where anyone else is driving. I spent years closing my eyes, holding my breath, and hitting the imaginary brake on the passenger side. I'm sure I have control issues when it comes to driving.


I finally decided that life was too short to feel like that. I own a car, and I drive myself wherever I need to go. I do not ride with other people, even my grown children.


In a case like yours, where your son was "dropping you off" and keeping the car, I would be the driver to my destination, and then let him take the wheel to go on where he needed to go.


I feel so much better now that I've set this boundary. I don't mind if people think I'm quirky or silly. I do what makes me feel the best.

For the record, years ago my husband realized this about me, and I drove us wherever we needed to go. He said: "I like your driving better than you like mine - so you can drive."
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Unread 09-24-2016, 06:21 PM   #6
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Totally understand how you feel. I had PTSD from a bad car accident I was in where I was a passenger, and I spent months and months freaking out and screaming at whoever drove me over things like not stopping at a car's distance, not leaving space between cars, braking suddenly, etc., but was too hysterical and terrified to drive myself, not to mention doped as hell on pain medication for herniated disks. I don't drive much nowadays, again because I'm taking other medication and am zoned out too much to drive, but it helps to have Xanax or Klonopin in the car in case I get too anxious. Maybe a bit of benadryl would do the trick for you if you know you won't be driving?
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Unread 10-22-2016, 01:26 PM   #7
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I once had a very serious conversation with a BF about his driving.

I said, "It's simple. When I am in the car, you will NOT drive like that or I will not ride with you. Period. You can drive yourself anyway you want to, but when you have other people in the car, you risk their lives as well. If you give a damn about a person and their feelings, driving 5-10 mph slower wont kill you. When I ask you five times to stop and you dont, you give me the message you dont care about my feelings."

He blinked at me and said "You're right. I wont do it anymore." and he didnt. I wasn't looking for him to tell me how much I do matter-I just wanted it to stop.

I think you need a serious discussion with your son. I find when talking to men, dont mince words either. Dont be shrill but be dead serious.

The way people drive today-I am starting to get anxious in the car and I never was before. The amount of lane drifting, speed weaving, etc. Makes me want to move to some deserted island.

Last edited by wavejumper; 10-22-2016 at 01:30 PM..
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