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I'm looking for ideas on what to do in a touchy situation...we have a monthly card club that meets. There are only four of us, and that includes our demo. Up until now, we have each been taking turns as hostess. Recently, one of the ladies has been missing a lot, which means if it is one of our turns as hostess, we only have three orders to make our hostess rewards. Then the lady comes and if it's her turn she gets the rewards from four of us ordering. She is missing more and more and we are trying to figure out how we should handle this situation. Anyone have any ideas? We've been wracking our brains on this because we don't want to offend anyone, but we also want to be fair to the others. TIA for any ideas you could offer.
I don't know what to do because you all went into this with the understanding that each takes a turn. That is so unfair of her. I guess the lady with the biggest set of nerves has to approach her and let her know that this is how it is and if she wants out then you all will get another "fourth" for the group. I don't get how some people can just be so rude--she definitely knows what she should be doing.
What a demo did with a club I was in was to set a min. of $25 (there was 6 of us in the club so the hostess would get the $150 hostess reward) and had a contract with all of us that if a person didn't show up or place an order by the date of the club meeting, she ordered $25 worth of white or cream cardstock (or some other product the person agreed upon) for that person with that person's credit card # that she had on file. We thought that was fair to all of us.
Your demo should be the one to handle the situation. Did you guys have to sign anything when you started the club? I'd heard about situations like this when I used to be on the demo side. Some people send out an email reminder that orders are due if the member is unable to be at the event, but the club should have been established with either a written or verbal understanding/ contract of how much $$$ each person would agree to spend each month or quarter in order to receive the benefit of getting the hostess $$ to spend when it was their turn. I'm sure it is a difficult thing to have to confront someone about a situation like this, but she needs to pull her weight as she agreed to.
What a demo did with a club I was in was to set a min. of $25 (there was 6 of us in the club so the hostess would get the $150 hostess reward) and had a contract with all of us that if a person didn't show up or place an order by the date of the club meeting, she ordered $25 worth of white or cream cardstock (or some other product the person agreed upon) for that person with that person's credit card # that she had on file. We thought that was fair to all of us.
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I've only heard of this approach (above) with these clubs. Regardless if you show or not, you are "agreeing" to an order of a minimum of "X" (whatever is set by the demo and the rest of the group).
Arlene, you jogged my memory!! Yes, that's what our group did too. I was composing a long answer of what I'd do, talking to her, etc., and then I saw this!
Even now this can be implemented for your group, Kathy. Just do it and *snap* problem solved.
There are some things you should know about our club. We are all friends. We meet more for the fun of it and decided that since we order so much, we may as well take turns for the benefits. AND this woman, when she comes, places enormous orders that we could never match. Her order last month was about $300...so she's never been a slacker on ordering. It just seems that she has been missing a lot lately, yet still thinks we need to place our orders and take her turn while she is gone and then she wants her turn when she comes back, even though we've had to take a turn with only the three of us ordering. I guess we just need some rules in place, and how to word those rules...thanks for all of your input so far.
There are some things you should know about our club. We are all friends. We meet more for the fun of it and decided that since we order so much, we may as well take turns for the benefits. AND this woman, when she comes, places enormous orders that we could never match. Her order last month was about $300...so she's never been a slacker on ordering. It just seems that she has been missing a lot lately, yet still thinks we need to place our orders and take her turn while she is gone and then she wants her turn when she comes back, even though we've had to take a turn with only the three of us ordering. I guess we just need some rules in place, and how to word those rules...thanks for all of your input so far.
If she places big orders, she would qualify for Hostess Dollars just all by herself. So maybe the demo should just tell her that since she would qualify each time she orders, and to help alleviate her stress of having to come monthly, she should just be her own workshop, and she can order whenever she wants. That does mean the rest of you will have to agree that either the 3 of you will order enough to qualify for Hostess Dollars; or you'll have to find a 4th.
Or, I suppose you all could still get together. Still not count on her orders, having to pick up the slack between the rest of you. Then when she does come, you all can get a month off from ordering. The demo can still get the sales credit. And you all won't feel like you are chipping in for her to get even more benefits. AND you're all still stampin' together each month.
Does this lady have something going on at home that could be affecting her miss meetings? Or has she just gone on to different endeavors in her life? Could the demo just call and ask her if she is still interested in the club? She might have gone on to something different and just thought you all dropped her due to absence so she never took care of it herself. If that makes sense and didn't come out wrong.
Honestly, I was in a club one time and due to some things going on with my son I could not participate in the club. I stopped going and I thought I was dropped due to that. I was floored when I found out I was still in club and required to participate. I felt bad that I didn't tell my host I couldn't do it. When I sat down and thought about it I was really honestly embarrassed to say that my son was having behavioral problems so I need to drop this club. Instead I just looked bad any way. This was not a stamping club. It was an art club.
Well, it's my night for rambling, lol. I have done this on a couple of posts now. I do understand the position your in. I did it on the other side and really feel bad for what I did. I put everyone in a conundrum.
Does this lady have something going on at home that could be affecting her miss meetings? Or has she just gone on to different endeavors in her life? Could the demo just call and ask her if she is still interested in the club? She might have gone on to something different and just thought you all dropped her due to absence so she never took care of it herself. If that makes sense and didn't come out wrong.
Honestly, I was in a club one time and due to some things going on with my son I could not participate in the club. I stopped going and I thought I was dropped due to that. I was floored when I found out I was still in club and required to participate. I felt bad that I didn't tell my host I couldn't do it. When I sat down and thought about it I was really honestly embarrassed to say that my son was having behavioral problems so I need to drop this club. Instead I just looked bad any way. This was not a stamping club. It was an art club.
Well, it's my night for rambling, lol. I have done this on a couple of posts now. I do understand the position your in. I did it on the other side and really feel bad for what I did. I put everyone in a conundrum.
I don't know if that helped any.
She is having some health issues and not even shopping at local shops as much. I know because when I stopped by an LSS the owner asked if I had seen this woman. She said she hadn't been in in a while. So it isn't just our group. And we love and care about this woman, so we certainly understand if she can't come. I guess we are just thinking that if you can't come, you shouldn't expect it to be your turn when you do, but how do you say that to a friend?
Whether you love and care for this woman or not someone should confront her. It's not fair that she doesn't contribute when it's your turn but orders big when it's hers. I agree that she should form her own "club" and the rest of you should find some other member if you can't afford $50 (1/3 of $150) each time you meet.
In our group, we sign a contract/agreement. Even if you can't make it on a given night, you are expected to put an order in. One of my friends in our group sometimes has Bible study the night we meet. She still meets her requirement; she simply sends our demo an email with what she wants to order and they arrange for her to come pay for her order asap.
If you don't, you're out of the group. It's stated up front at the beginning. And I think the signing of the agreement is mandatory for group membership.
It may be the required amount is too much for her with such a small group. If that's the case, I'm sorry... she'll have to leave the group.
Your demo should be the one to handle the situation. Did you guys have to sign anything when you started the club? I'd heard about situations like this when I used to be on the demo side. Some people send out an email reminder that orders are due if the member is unable to be at the event, but the club should have been established with either a written or verbal understanding/ contract of how much $$$ each person would agree to spend each month or quarter in order to receive the benefit of getting the hostess $$ to spend when it was their turn. I'm sure it is a difficult thing to have to confront someone about a situation like this, but she needs to pull her weight as she agreed to.
I agree the demo needs to handle it. Verbal agreements don't work, however. It needs to be in writing, so when/if a person pulls this kind of stunt, you can show her she made an agreement.
Sorry, if she can afford to put in a big order when it's her turn, she can afford to put in when it is other people's turn. I don't have much sympathy for her. I'd tell her she needs to pull her weight and meet her minimums, every party, or she's out.
She is having some health issues and not even shopping at local shops as much. I know because when I stopped by an LSS the owner asked if I had seen this woman. She said she hadn't been in in a while. So it isn't just our group. And we love and care about this woman, so we certainly understand if she can't come. I guess we are just thinking that if you can't come, you shouldn't expect it to be your turn when you do, but how do you say that to a friend?
I think a friend would understand. Everyone has their story and it's sad if she is having issues now but it still needs to be fair to everyone. If you are close friends and really care, maybe she just needs a stamping night with friends sometimes and not the obligation of a club.
We have a group of 6 that meets each month for stamp club. It's understood (and in writing) that if you can't make it, you still have to send your order to the demo. It's been working for us.
We have a group of 6 that meets each month for stamp club. It's understood (and in writing) that if you can't make it, you still have to send your order to the demo. It's been working for us.
I'll mention this to the demo. It seems to work well for a lot of you. I never miss a class! I absolutely love going each month.
If I absolutely did not want to miss a class, I guess I'd just come up with some lame excuse and just put in a very, very small order when it's her turn. Like just a white gel pen.
One more vote for the demo handling this. It appears your group of friends just decided to "start taking turns" and nothing was ever put in writing? It would not be out of line for the demo to come forward and say something like, "starting now we are going to have a written contract for the group so each person understands their obligations whether they are able to attend in person or not."
Then she should present the already printed letter stating how much each member of the group is obligated to purchase each time there is a group get together so that every person gets a fair turn at earning hostess benefits. Everyone signs one, case closed.
I like the idea that the demo has the credit card information on file and will go ahead with the minimum required purchase in neutral card stock if the member does not contact her by the group deadline; but not everyone may be comfortable with that.
As another poster stated since this "missing" person is able to place very large orders when she does show up then money is obviously not the issue. She needs to pony up the minimum for her friends.
If she is not willing to commit to a minimum monthly order but wants to come stamp with her friends that is okay too. But it needs to be clear up front. My demo has clubs that meet once a month, or once every other month depending on what the members of each group agree on. She has room enough for non-club people to come and attend the mini-class if they want to. I used to belong to a club, but when I could no longer commit a certain amount each month I opted out. Now, I go when I can, pay a small fee ( set by the demo for materials and her time ) and enjoy time stamping with other ladies. I order only if I feel like it; and when I do it goes in as part of the "club" order and is just a bonus for the hostess of the month, but not something that is expected of me.
Also, who ever has the turn at "hostess" for her clubs is allowed to bring in outside orders or whatever to up her personal total for that month; but as long as everyone spends the minimum each month so everyone gets a turn at the minimum hostess benefits it's all good.
I guess I'm more of the direct kind of person especially if I consider someone a friend. I'd give her the respect of communicating directly with her about the issues you've stated and working with her and the other friends to resolve the issues as a group of friends. Even our closest friends may have issues they are dealing with that they don't want to share or she may not know the extent of the problem her absences are causing. I'd be willing to give a friend the benefit of the doubt and listen to what her reasoning may be.
I agree about the demo handling it. I wonder, though, if she really expects y'all to order during her month or if you're just assuming that. Is she saying something to make you think it? I'm just wondering if there is miscommunication somewhere and she really doesn't expect you to order that month but thinks you're doing it because you want to. Maybe she expects it, maybe she doesn't, but it's worth asking her to see if that's even part of the equation.
__________________ I'm a natural blonde. God just dyed my hair brown. -me My Blog
I agree about the demo handling it. I wonder, though, if she really expects y'all to order during her month or if you're just assuming that. Is she saying something to make you think it? I'm just wondering if there is miscommunication somewhere and she really doesn't expect you to order that month but thinks you're doing it because you want to. Maybe she expects it, maybe she doesn't, but it's worth asking her to see if that's even part of the equation.
She told the demo that the next person in line should take their turn and she would just go the next month. I don't know that she even thought about the next person only getting a turn with only three orders, however she did think of it the next month when we told her how we worked it out. Since she had such a large order she qualified as her own party so we left her have all the benefits from her order and it was demo's turn so she just took the orders from the three of us so we could keep the hostess order as it was supposed to be. She complained that she didn't have the benefit of all of our orders too, not thinking that demo did not have the benefit of all four of us ordering either. I wish we would just take hostess stuff in paper and split it every month, would make it much easier. Class is this weekend and she's already said she won't be there. So I think the three of us are going to figure this out and just tell her what we've come up with. I think I will make up an attendance sheet so we can keep track of how much she is missing because she is the only one who is missing. The rest of us need this fun time together!
Hmm. So she's aware that there's a problem with fairness regarding absences.
If it makes it easier to get this cleared up, Kathy, I would tell her that everyone has discussed their own concerns as well about "what if I have to miss" and how that affects the hostess-of-the-month. Make it less about her and more about the group - no one ever knows if they may have to miss down the road.
To keep things fair to EVERYONE, you all decided to sign an agreement to place an order of a certain amount each month, regardless of attendance. If a person is going to miss, they need to have their order to the demo beforehand - and if they don't, then the demo will place a generic consumable order for them.
It just might all be easier if you and your group don't feel like you're singling her out. I get the feeling that calling her on it is what's bothering you all the most and that the rest of you were fine with an understanding of how things would work. Hope it all ends up for the best for everyone.
Hmm. So she's aware that there's a problem with fairness regarding absences.
If it makes it easier to get this cleared up, Kathy, I would tell her that everyone has discussed their own concerns as well about "what if I have to miss" and how that affects the hostess-of-the-month. Make it less about her and more about the group - no one ever knows if they may have to miss down the road.
To keep things fair to EVERYONE, you all decided to sign an agreement to place an order of a certain amount each month, regardless of attendance. If a person is going to miss, they need to have their order to the demo beforehand - and if they don't, then the demo will place a generic consumable order for them.
It just might all be easier if you and your group don't feel like you're singling her out. I get the feeling that calling her on it is what's bothering you all the most and that the rest of you were fine with an understanding of how things would work. Hope it all ends up for the best for everyone.
thanks Nancy. I think you're right. We need to approach it as a group issue of what if I need to miss....the one thing is we didn't sign an agreement, this is friends getting together. It began with the demo putting in our orders an then she would get the free stuff and use it each month for class supplies. Then she realized we were all pretty faithful and offered up the idea of taking turns as demo, which I thought was very nice of her. No problems until just recently. I guess we will be discussing this on Saturday and I don't think this woman is coming, so we will be able to discuss openly and maybe decide what to do then. Thanks to everyone for continuing input...
She told the demo that the next person in line should take their turn and she would just go the next month. I don't know that she even thought about the next person only getting a turn with only three orders, however she did think of it the next month when we told her how we worked it out. Since she had such a large order she qualified as her own party so we left her have all the benefits from her order and it was demo's turn so she just took the orders from the three of us so we could keep the hostess order as it was supposed to be. She complained that she didn't have the benefit of all of our orders too, not thinking that demo did not have the benefit of all four of us ordering either. I wish we would just take hostess stuff in paper and split it every month, would make it much easier. Class is this weekend and she's already said she won't be there. So I think the three of us are going to figure this out and just tell her what we've come up with. I think I will make up an attendance sheet so we can keep track of how much she is missing because she is the only one who is missing. The rest of us need this fun time together!
Oh wow. Sounds like she's aware and just doesn't care. I think your solution sounds like a good one.
__________________ I'm a natural blonde. God just dyed my hair brown. -me My Blog
Just found out there are a few health issues so we are praying for her and sending her a card. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff and so I guess the answer has come. The three of us will continue as a group and as she feels better, she can come back in at the end of the hostess order....
Best wishes with all of this, Kathy. I hope your friend's health improves, that she is able to come back and you can all work out a satisfactory agreement.
These things tend to evolve, and even if you didn't start out with a formal agreement, it sounds like a good thing to implement one now.
Wish you all the best ~ keep us posted on how it all works out for you! ((( hugs! )))
Sending her well wishes too. I hope she does get better.
I was thinking of this thread the other day. I was reading a blog. The lady who owned the blog seemed to have a lot of demo classes and get together. They had a President, Vice President, Treasurer, Photographer. It seemed to be a really laid back group. All the rules were spilled out for the members. They took a few minutes before stamping to discuss business. Some of the meetings were held at home, others at stores. Everyone seemed very clear on the rules even though it was all laid back.
I read the whole blog I noticed that group seemed to start as a friend get together and then evolved. It sounds like that is what's happening with your group.
I think your idea of Saturday is great to discuss things. I wish I was closer I would take over her spot.
Sending her well wishes too. I hope she does get better.
I was thinking of this thread the other day. I was reading a blog. The lady who owned the blog seemed to have a lot of demo classes and get together. They had a President, Vice President, Treasurer, Photographer. It seemed to be a really laid back group. All the rules were spilled out for the members. They took a few minutes before stamping to discuss business. Some of the meetings were held at home, others at stores. Everyone seemed very clear on the rules even though it was all laid back.
I read the whole blog I noticed that group seemed to start as a friend get together and then evolved. It sounds like that is what's happening with your group.
I think your idea of Saturday is great to discuss things. I wish I was closer I would take over her spot.
I wish you were too, we'd love to have you! Thanks everyone for their input. It's given us a lot to think about and discuss. I hope to remember to come back and let you know how it all works out...have a great day!
Another suggestion I've heard in the past that you might want to consider is an open club. It is more flexible because you don't have to order every month, but if you don't order, you're knocked down the hostess chain for every month you don't order, and you can only be the hostess once you've consistently ordered for (in your case) three months in a row. That would cause her to either fish or cut bait. If she really can't come consistently, she can still place her large orders with the demo, but it would free you ladies up to invite someone else to participate.
Just found out there are a few health issues so we are praying for her and sending her a card. Life's too short to sweat the small stuff and so I guess the answer has come. The three of us will continue as a group and as she feels better, she can come back in at the end of the hostess order....
I'm glad it sounds like it's working out for you. I hope her health issues improve and it's so nice of you all to let her come back with a hostess order.
You are so right about not sweating the small stuff.
Another suggestion I've heard in the past that you might want to consider is an open club. It is more flexible because you don't have to order every month, but if you don't order, you're knocked down the hostess chain for every month you don't order, and you can only be the hostess once you've consistently ordered for (in your case) three months in a row. That would cause her to either fish or cut bait. If she really can't come consistently, she can still place her large orders with the demo, but it would free you ladies up to invite someone else to participate.
I was going to suggest that if you miss on your hostess month, your turn gets skipped and the order continues, even if you come back the next month. Not sure, but we will be discussing it Saturday and hopefully come up with a plan. I like the open club, because there has never been a month where someones order was less than $40.
I've never belonged to a club like this, but I would suggest you talk to your demo--as a group. Let her know that while you love this woman you don't think it's fair. Ask the demo if she would institute new rules. No finger pointing. No accusations. No excuses. Hopefully, your demo will be interested in a fresh start, with a preset minimum and an agreement that if someone can't make it to a meeting there needs to be some way an order can be placed on her behalf (and have her pay for it).
I've never belonged to a club like this, but I would suggest you talk to your demo--as a group. Let her know that while you love this woman you don't think it's fair. Ask the demo if she would institute new rules. No finger pointing. No accusations. No excuses. Hopefully, your demo will be interested in a fresh start, with a preset minimum and an agreement that if someone can't make it to a meeting there needs to be some way an order can be placed on her behalf (and have her pay for it).
I just thought of this....maybe the rule should be that if it is your hostess month and you aren't there and don't send an order, your turn will be forfeited and you just miss a turn in that round...
What would you do?
