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Old 01-26-2006, 10:45 PM   #41
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I have been laughing out loud and trying not to wake up the household!!! Thank you, thank you for these posts!!!! You have made my day....night.....actually, its morning now!

Keep 'em coming, girlfriends! I can't wait to read more!
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Old 02-02-2006, 07:32 PM   #42
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OMG!! These are hilarious, keep 'em coming! and TFS!
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Old 02-02-2006, 08:11 PM   #43
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I've been copying and pasting most of these into a seperate document. Just too much fun.
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Old 02-08-2006, 03:16 PM   #44
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Talking compiled list- thanks all!

I was almost done cutting and pasting before I saw that SweetMissDaisy had already cut and pasted these into a word file. Here is the list with the new ones added. Thanks to everyone- these are going to make some really fun cards!
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File Type: doc sayings....doc (41.5 KB, 1246 views)
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:17 AM   #45
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Let's see if we can add any more to these now that we have the dysfunctional family thread going too!
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Old 03-30-2006, 06:22 AM   #46
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Here are some I use for my cards, not really quirky but wanted to share

We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
~Author Unknown

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
~Author Unknown

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
~Author Unknown

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
~Larry Lorenzoni

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
~Phyllis Diller

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.
~David Carradine

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd walk through a garden forever.
~Author Unknown

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth.
~Chinese Proverb

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while you could miss it.
~Ferris Bueller's Day Off

How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss

“God has given us our memories that we might have roses in December.”
- J. M. Barrie

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
- Unknown

“Once in a lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold.”
- Judith Obrey


“A baby is God’s opinion the world should go on.”
- Carl Sandburg

“Life’s truest happiness is in the friendships we make along the way.”
- Anonymous

“Life is a paradise for those who love many things with a passion.”
- Leo Buscaglia

“When you love someone all your saved-up wishes start coming out.”
- Elizabeth Bowen

“I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”
- Laura Ingalls Wilder

“A dream is a wish your heart makes – when you’re fast asleep.”
- Cinderella


“To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.”
~Phyllis Theroux

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”
~Albert Einstein

“A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away.”
~Bil Keane, "Family Circus"

“Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.“
~Author Unknown

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
~Author Unknown

“Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.”
~Author Unknown

“You must be at the end of your rope. I felt a tug.”
~Author Unknown

“Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem.”
~Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here, we might as well dance."
--author unknown
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Old 03-30-2006, 06:33 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ladydoc
Friends are like bras, close to your heart and there for support
What a great one for the stamp in Fashion Statements!
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Old 03-30-2006, 08:53 AM   #48
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Some sayings I've found on rubber stamps:

Same old sentiment, but larger print. Happy Birthday!

Dear Lord: please put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

I may be lost, but I'm making good time.

We've been through a lot together and most of it was your fault.

When you're out with your honey and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it's funny but it's snot.

Sag...you're it!
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Old 03-30-2006, 09:28 AM   #49
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Thanks so much for all the posts...I can't wait use use some of them in my cards!!!
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Old 03-30-2006, 09:41 AM   #50
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Welcome to SCS, Kstampin'!!!!!
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Old 03-30-2006, 01:21 PM   #51
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Great ideas.
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Old 03-30-2006, 02:09 PM   #52
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These are great. Just what I needed today????
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Old 03-31-2006, 08:34 AM   #53
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Some of these made me laugh sooooo hard! I even called my DH in here to read them!

Here's my take on one of the sayings...hee!

http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/ga...0&ppuser=72650



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Old 04-08-2006, 03:23 PM   #54
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This is too funny. These are the types of cards my DH likes.
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Old 04-08-2006, 03:45 PM   #55
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Thanks so much for a great afternoon laugh! These will come very handy, especially now that I'm starting to dabble in scrapbooking.

I just remembered something that my cynically (sp?) sweet retired co-worker sent me a while back. I think it goes something like this...

"A man's life is almost complete until he gets married. Then, he's finished."
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Old 04-08-2006, 06:18 PM   #56
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I like this one to use with my sports stamp sets. "Game over...you're old!"
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Old 04-08-2006, 08:23 PM   #57
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love this idea been laughing out loud keepem coming
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Old 04-09-2006, 05:15 AM   #58
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I saw this on a bumper sticker:

I've upped my standards,
Now up yours.
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Old 04-09-2006, 10:46 AM   #59
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I love funny cards! I just bought some humorous stamps from www.rivercityrubberworks.com in March and they are so 'me'! Here are a few cards that I have in my gallery that I have made so far....

Do the math. You're old.
http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/ga...00&ppuser=6797

Dance like no one is watching. We could all use a good laugh.
http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/ga...00&ppuser=6797

-Heidi :0)
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Old 04-13-2006, 06:14 AM   #60
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There are some hysterical cards here:

http://www.quiplip.com/

Two of my faves:

Want a white Christmas? Rip up this card and throw it in the air.
I better not catch you regifting!
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Old 04-24-2006, 09:18 AM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PH in VA
Ladydoc, your last post reminded me of this one. Thanks!


When life hands you lemons, squeeze lemon juice in life's eye. That'll show life!

LOVE it! Gotta use it!
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Old 04-24-2006, 09:35 AM   #62
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Default river city rubber works stamps

has some great stamps. Here are a couple I have that I didn't see listed in the word document (though it's a large document and I could have missed it!). They crack me up!

"Normally I wouldn't give a rat's ***** if it was someone's birtday, but..... you're not so normal." River City Rubberworks

"kwitcher*****in" River City Rubberworks
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Old 04-24-2006, 10:11 AM   #63
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Just two quick ones, 1st one is an acutual stamp I have, second one was on a card my Cousin actually sent her EX-husband on St. Patrick's Day.

I just spent hours making this card by hand, Act Impressed!

The St. Patricks Train is leaving at 5:02....... Be under it.
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Old 04-24-2006, 11:44 AM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanneb
"kwitcher*****in" River City Rubberworks
Oops! Sorry mods! Thanks for catching that!
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Old 04-24-2006, 08:23 PM   #65
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thanks for adding! I haven't looked at this thread in a while. I love the one about the train....
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Old 04-24-2006, 08:30 PM   #66
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Definitely going to use some of these.
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Old 04-24-2006, 08:48 PM   #67
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OH my goodness. Would love to send the train card to my ex, or my hubbies ex!

How about this one ...

Some things are better rich ... Coffee, chocolate, and men!
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Old 04-24-2006, 09:11 PM   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SkisInOkinawa
OMG! I've been ROFLMAO! Too funny! Keep 'em coming!

What about something for this stamp?? I haven't used it yet because I didn't know what to do with it.

There is a saying and I don't know it but I have seen it on a signature line that says something like I want to crash through life and say "Woah! what a ride" I am waaay off, so someone help me!
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Old 04-24-2006, 09:23 PM   #69
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Oh that would be a good one! I know I've heard that one before, but can't remember what it says either. Anyone?
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Old 04-25-2006, 05:35 AM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purplewinkle
There is a saying and I don't know it but I have seen it on a signature line that says something like I want to crash through life and say "Woah! what a ride" I am waaay off, so someone help me!
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming... "Wow! What a ride!"
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Old 04-25-2006, 07:39 AM   #71
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SkisInOkinawa - here's another in the list of one poster above that would work for your stamp:


A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
~Author Unknown

These are really great.

Here's one I saw in the Joys of Cardmaking book:

Ever notice how in every family there's one person who is exceedingly normal? We should get us one of those!
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Old 06-05-2006, 12:17 PM   #72
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A father is someone who can't get on the phone, in the bathroom or out of debt. (I can picture a comedy collage card with this saying inside! )

Dad's Dream: To one day have enough money to live the way the wife and kids do. (stamp a 3-D wallet & have funny money in it for Father's Day )

Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to change a dirty diaper! (cute idea for a 3-D diaper card for a first Father's Day card).

Inside of every man is a little kid who wants to come out and play.

The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.

There's a quiet place in Heaven for a mother with boys! (comedy card)

An apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I love a man with dishpan hands!

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your handsome prince! (SU frog stamp)

If a husband would treat his wife as though she were a thoroughbred, she'd never turn into an old nag!

Whether a man winds up with the nest egg or a goose egg depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.

Many girls like to marry a military man --he can cook, sew, make beds, and is in good health . . . and he's already used to taking orders.

~~~~~~~~
M is for Mom, not MAID!

Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.

I smile because I'm your mother, I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it.

If I had no kids what would I do for aggravation?

Insanity is inherited from your children!

Welcome to our Funny Farm!

Housework makes you ugly!
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You know you're getting old when "getting a little action" means your prune juice is working!

Who lies down with dogs rises with fleas.

Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out!

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing. (Benjamin Franklin).
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Old 06-05-2006, 05:18 PM   #73
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Had to join in the fun:

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

The weather is here, wish you were beautiful. (jimmy buffett)

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy all her friends?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
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Old 06-05-2006, 05:36 PM   #74
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Default CATCH UP!

My mother is so cute and hillarious, I was talking to her about cards the other day, we had a lengthy discussion about the VSN and what we have to do and stuff.

I told her about a challange that someone had told me about..."getting something from your spice cubboard!

MY ADORABLE MOTHER...said...

you could use a Ketchup picture on the front with the saying "it's been so long"

and then inside write:

WE SHOULD Ketchup!

she is so cute.
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Old 06-05-2006, 05:42 PM   #75
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I love this! I gotta come back and read it all later!
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:21 AM   #76
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Just buzzzzzzed into this wonderful thread this afternoon....I have chuckled, almost PIMP'ed three times! I have also bookmarked this wonderful thread.....hope it keeps on living.........
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Old 05-25-2007, 12:56 PM   #77
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These are to funny. Didn't read them all.

Here is one my husband just got on a card:
Front Happy Birthday with a stork and baby.
Inside: You turned out pretty well for a bird dropping.
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Old 05-25-2007, 01:16 PM   #78
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Here are some for your GIRLFRIENDS
We'll always be friends...You know too much!
Hope we live to be 110...pounds!
Happy birthday from one glamourous babe to another!
You can never be too rich, too thin or have too many shoes...Celebrate!
If you don't have anything nice to say...pull up a chair!
40 (or 50) is the ultimate f-word.

For a good friend's 40th I made a card (from a group of us) that said
(outside) It's your birthday and you're going to hear the f-word alot!
(inside) Have a Fantastic 40th From your Four Fabulous Friends!
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Old 05-25-2007, 01:21 PM   #79
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too funny..had never seen this thread before!!!
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Old 05-25-2007, 02:11 PM   #80
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I love this thread. I am so inspired I just want to go home and stamp the weekend away
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