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My 13 yr old son came to me yesterday and said he wants to stamp and make cards like me. I was blown away, first because I didn't think he paid any attention to what I do and second because I KNOW what his father will think! (Mr Macho).
This is the same child that announced over a year ago that he wanted to become a world class chef. My hubby went ballistic at first. He didn't want one of HIS boys becoming a chef. We had words and finally I convinced hubby to support him. He's really doing well at it (both father and son!).
Now this. Ugh. I'm almost afraid to tell my husband this child now wants to make greeting cards. Hubby is not "abusive", but can get an attitude towards anything that doesn't fit HIS comfort zone.
What should I do? Should I just support Noah and not say anything to DH?
children should be encouraged in all forms of expression. my daughter is a pastry chef, the other an accountant(heavy duty man's field). we all are who we are and society compresses,compacts and molds us to fit the standards! stamping is fun great skill and a true form of therapy at times. tell your husband he could be out robbing liquor stores, never redirect, only guide, he may hate it, but always let them try, for from there they spread their wings and take flight to the next step of life. my 2 cents.
I would let him. Kids like the creativity and the magic of the embossing etc. I have four boys and now and then my 11yo takes a notion. My 15yo has made me cards for gifts using my stuff. The biggest problem is he makes a huge mess.
Hmm. This is tough because you don't want to open your son up to scorn from his dad, but you want to encourage any self-expression and creativity you can. Sounds like you were able to win DH over to the idea of your son being a chef (even if it wasn't pleasant for you!). This may not be pleasant for you, either, but IMHO, your son needs to have his creativity appreciated. Don't we all?
My DH is about pretty macho himself (USAF weapons systems officer--flew combat in a B-1 bomber, is attempting his second Ironman triathlon in September, etc) but he loves to cook and keeps dreaming about opening his own restaurant...LOL, he'd hate the hours!
I would DEFINITELY let him stamp! My SU demo has a 12 yr old DS who is a VERY good stamper! Kids are so creative. As for your DH, just remind him of all the great classical artists: Van Gogh, Cezanne, Monet, etc. How many of THEM were women
You can also let your husband know that some of the best creative minds at SU are men!
AND....I host a men's-only workshop twice or three times a year and the GUYS are always the ones seeking me out to ask when we can do it again... And I'm talking macho, bow-shooting, deer-hunting men....
AND...my dad has been known to sneak over to my house to use my stamping things to make a card or gift for my mom.
Do some research on Tim Holtz's net worth, maybe that would help encourage DH!
Seriously, he's 12 . . . let him do what he wants. If he also has interest in being a chef the boy obviously has some creative juices flowing. Let him explore those. The key is the praise, if he feels good about the little things he's doing then that will help in everything else . . .but then again I think I am preaching to the choir!
__________________ Kristina Wife, Mommy, Stamper, Nurse Laura 6yo Jack 5yo, James 4/20/08 Megan arrived 3/16/09
I say let your son stamp! Your husband will just have to deal with it, just like the cooking. Yikes, my hubby does ALL the cooking and baking in our house and he enjoys it. I think your son should be able to express his creativity in any way he chooses and if he chooses to stamp like mom, that is GREAT! Just because he likes to make cards and stamp now doesnt mean he is going to be stamping forever. He may do this until he finds something else that he likes to do better. I remember when my 8 year old nephew took a pottery class, we all kind of chuckled to ourselves (this was before I had kids so I didnt get it back then) ... but now he is 13 and no less of a regular 13 year old boy because of it. It certainly didnt threaten his manhood, lol!!!!! I dont think his father was impressed at the time, but he supported him. I really think that his dad should be HAPPY that he wants to spend time at home stamping as opposed to be hanging out somewhere down the street getting in with the wrong crowds or whatever ... you know where he is, he is happy doing what he's doing and all is well!!! Good luck!
I would definitely encourage him in this. He's great at it. Plus, it's not like his card was all flowery, or anything. It's a very masculine card. I would tell your DH about it when Noah is not around, so he doesn't hear if there's an argument. I know plenty of men who are artists and still very masculine. I think it's our job as mother's to encourage our kids God given gifts and abilities. (It's not like you're letting him wear pink high heals and a mini skirt, LOL!)
Hey, if your DH likes to read, I would encourage him to read the book Wild at Heart. It is a great book about the heart of a man and would encourage him on his masculine journey. (It would be great for you to read as well, being the mom of 4 boys)
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being artistic. There can be a lot more "damage" done to your son by not encouraging him in his talents (and I do see artistic talent in the card he did). Besides, at 13, he will probably change his mind many times before deciding on a "career". Let him have fun and what great "bonding time" for mom and son.
I was noticing something about your son's card that would also support your case to your DH, it's a masculine card very appropriate for a boy at his age (dragons & japanese lettering). So I would definitely put it under it being a creative outlet for him. Just b/c he's making cards doesn't mean it's girlie, for him it's another arts & crafts project.
Yes, definitely let him stamp! We have three grown children and when they were little, our two boys loved to cook and bake. Our middle boy always wanted to be a chef, and even took Foods in HS. Our youngest did go into the food industry, first cooking, then becoming a manager for Olive Garden.
Our daughter had no interest in anything domestic and would much rather be out in the garage with her father learning how to change a tire or tune an engine. They are all now healthy, well-adjusted adults who are very well-rounded.
Our daughter has discovered her domestic side, and now can cook with the best of them! She encourages her 6 year old son in pursuing his artistic talents with art supplies and lessons. Her 3 year old daughter is soooo feminine that we wonder where she came from! LOL! She lets them both be who they are, though, and exposes them to all sorts of activities and pursuits.
Our boys still cook for enjoyment, but my middle son now owns his own plumbing business. Our youngest is out of the food business and is now working in finance. The middle boy's wife and the youngest's girlfriend really appreciate having a man that knows his way around a kitchen!
I think this 'gender bending' came naturally to them, because they witnessed me hammering and painting and their father food shopping and cooking as they were growing up.
I'm off my soap box now! [IMG]//www.splitcoaststampers.com/forums/images/icons/icon12.gif[/IMG]
__________________ "Life is much too important to be taken seriously." Oscar Wilde Proud to be a member of Mo's Digital Pencil Challenge DT! My BlogMy Gallery
What's wrong with a male chef? Look at how many there are on TV that are successful, much less those actually working in restaurants that aren't on TV. As for the stamping, it's a creative outlet and gives you some 'together' time. He's quickly approaching the age where he won't want to spend any time at all with you...why turn down such a gift? It could be a fabulous opportunity for good communication at an age where it's so important and yet kids seem to keep things under wrap.
I think it is great that your son wants to stamp. I am sure he has nice ideas and will enjoy it. One thing that you can do to break the "macho" idea without having a big scene about it is having a "family Stamp night".
You tell your family that you enjoy stamping so much that you wanted to share the fun with them (including DH) and let them make a project of their on or you have a card ready so they can copy it.
THat way your hubby can see that it is not a GIRLY thing but a creativity thing and that one thing was nothing to do with the other.
About the chef thing, let your DH watch Emeril and how he is a manly chef or the IRon Chef program in HGTV.
Remind him of the great creative minds MichaelAngelo, Picasso, Frank Loyd Wright. They were all men.
Good luck
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I just had a quick peek at your gallery, and obviously creativity runs in the family! I had to stop myself from commenting on your cards, or I would be here all day. Definitely let your son stamp. It is way better than some of the things 15 year old boys do. I think it is great and his card turned out real well. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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I say stamp away. Honestly my own personal view has been colored by a side by side comparison of my brother and myself with the neighboor children. We were allowed to pursue whatever interested us and our parents supported us while they were forced into activities. Now that we are all in college they don't know what they want career wise and we both have specific goals. When you are allowed to try to see what you are interested in it gives you a better idea of eventually what you would prefer.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being artistic. There can be a lot more "damage" done to your son by not encouraging him in his talents (and I do see artistic talent in the card he did). Besides, at 13, he will probably change his mind many times before deciding on a "career". Let him have fun and what great "bonding time" for mom and son.
I agree. You never know what making cards could lead to--painting, graphic design, designing illustrations, working at Hallmark?
FWIW, the company I work for publishes a jewelry magazine called "Art Jewelry." There are both male AND female jewelers making wonderful jewelry--you can check it out here: http://www.artjewelrymag.com
I got the same grief when I wanted a play kitchen for my 2YO son. He loves it by the way!
I think it's great... I hope my son is artistic as well! I am surprised there aren't more men in stamping. It's a can be applied to very masculine crafts... choosing masculine color choices or paper patterns.... Stamping fun for EVERYONE!
I wish there were more men who stamp. I think it's very hard for ladies to come up with masculine designs. Maybe there's a whole other facet of stamping careers waiting to be discovered. I'm guessing Hallmark has a few male designers, hmmm?
I say stamp away. Honestly my own personal view has been colored by a side by side comparison of my brother and myself with the neighboor children. We were allowed to pursue whatever interested us and our parents supported us while they were forced into activities. Now that we are all in college they don't know what they want career wise and we both have specific goals. When you are allowed to try to see what you are interested in it gives you a better idea of eventually what you would prefer.
I am not a parent.. but I hope to be one day.
I think creativity is a form of expression and individuality so that should be encouraged. That is just my little opinion.
I was bored when I went to a hardware store last time with my DH and I started looking around for stuff I could use to make cards with. There were so many things! chains, washers (regular round ones and neat little gear shaped ones), cork, little plastic doo-dads, cords, twine, wires, sandpaper, paint chips, I could go on and on. Maybe you and your son could go and pick up some of this stuff for him to incorporate into his stamped cards. That way your DH would be satisfied with the "masculinity" of the cards, and may even want to make some himself!
When I read the title I had no idea the problem was letting him stamp. I was thinking it was more like, letting him into your stuff, what would really turn him on to stamping and being an artist, and, where would he want to go with this interest??? Whether it be cards, or maybe artistic endeavors....
I am sad that you have to explain his artistic interests. What if he had wanted to be a ballet dancer? A Jazz or Tap Dancer? Would Dad have had a problem? OMG, our children are so precious. Let them explore and discover...He is way to young to be criticized in any way, for what may interest him....My girls have been in dance forever, the boys involved are sometimes and sometimes not, gay.
They are overall the nicest most wonderful people and families we have ever met...And male artists in general whether it be art, music, dance....what is wrong with that? It is a much more higher class of work than most people could ever achieve. Please stay open minded for your child...
My son is 19 and has stamped cards for his girlfriend for their "anniversaries". They celebrate every month of their dating. This Sunday will be 10 months btw! I say at this time and age in your son's life, anything that you can find to do in common is a GREAT thing! It's a great opportunity to have open discussions about lots of things going on in his life - I would approach it with your husband in this way if the discussion arises.
__________________ Laura SCS Member #772 My Gallery
I hope he stamps and loves it, obviously he has an interest in art so encourage him to take an art class in school. As far as DH I don't know what to tell you... after 24 years I just found out how to manage my dh!
[quote=hedgiemama]What if he had wanted to be a ballet dancer? A Jazz or Tap Dancer? Would Dad have had a problem? OMG, our children are so precious. Let them explore and discover...He is way to young to be criticized in any way, for what may interest him....
I totally agree with the above. My 10 1/2 year old son LOVES, LOVES, LOVES to stamp!!! AND this last year he WAS in a boys jazz dance class!!!! My 6 year old daughter has been dancing for 3 years already and when my son said he wanted to be in the boys dance class I was thrilled to sign him up!! During the winter and spring recitals I was so proud of BOTH my kids, I cried happy tears when they were up on stage!! Not to mention they both did awesome in all of their dances!
Another thing, my son and a friend of his made all of their own Valentine Day cards for their class this last Feb. They were in the same class and their teacher thought that it was the coolest thing ever that the boys MADE all the cards!!! When these 2 boys are together they love to draw, stamp, bird watch, make perler bead projects and even latch hook!!! All of that is so much better then going out and causing trouble!!
So to Noah I say, STAMP AWAY!!! Maybe you can have your own gallery here on SCS!
I just came across a mother's day card my DS stamped when he was, oh, 16 or 17 or so. He's now almost 21 and could still stamp with the best of us. I say definitely allow kids any creative outlet they choose.
My 20 year old son stamped cards in high school. It is all about using tools. I think some children as adults just love to learn new processes. I teach middle school-high school Family and Consumer Sciences and I bring in my SU stuff for stamp days. We make cards for elderly community members ( last year we made Valentines for an entire large nursing home) and always Mother's Day cards. The boys always love it as much as the girls. I can't tell you how serious they get over Mother's day cards. Middle schoolers love those hands on projects and today with the emphasis on high stake testing many schools have let the "hands on classes" drop. I know we don't have industrial arts anymore. These kinds of classes teach so much. I would let your husband know that your son is just curious about how things are done.
I gotta say... there is NO support like SCS support! Yes, I did tell his dad he wants to make cards and we did get resistance, but I think in the grand scheme of things, DH will somehow see that it is just Noah's CURRENT creative outlet. He is afterall, only 13. He's going to evolve to his own eventually...if he wants to emulate me in the meantime, I can't think of a cooler way to stay close to my son.
Thank you, thank you to all of you who supported Noah's upload. It was an incredible outpouring of support for a boy who is just coming into his own.
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I often let the neighbor kids stamp with me & my kids. The 11 yr old boy has more artistic talent than the whole gang put together. He picks up techniques at a glance and has a great eye for layout. He is also a terrific athlete.
I would think a well-rounded child would be the goal of all parents. Although my hubby did have a fit over our 3YO DS in a tu-tu and pink heels last year. I was more concerned about how my DS will do ANYthing his big sis tells him to do. And, yes, I did take a picture for his scrapbook.
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Bridget
Proud to be a former SU Demo & forever USC Gamecock Fan!
I'd get your son involved with your stamping. If your hubby has a problem with it, well, at least your son in inside being creative and not outside being "macho" drinking, taking drugs or getting girls pregnant. There's nothing wrong with being creative. What do you think those guys are doing on tv who build the cars and motorcycles?
__________________ Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer.
The pic is Grissom, our chihuahua, in his Doggles doing his red carpet pose.
anyway, jsut wanted to add that my hubby is 6'4", 250 pounds, works in industry and makes me the most beautiful birthday cards. I love to see the creative side of him!
__________________ Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer.
The pic is Grissom, our chihuahua, in his Doggles doing his red carpet pose.
I was just thinking that your son could be the next Tim Holtz! He sounds like a very creative young man. I've a 13 year old step son and he likes to make cards and scrapbook too. Some of his friends want to work on projects in my craft room. I generally supervise though. ;)
__________________ Have an awesome day!
Loretta Rathert~
P.S. With a momma who stamps like you, how can the boy go wrong? I stamped with my 5th graders (I know a bit younger) but heck, I think the boys were the ones who liked it the MOST!
~Kendra
The Academic Value of Hands-on Craft Projects in Elementary Schools Study
This report, one of the first studies ever to investigate the impact of hands-on projects and academic learning, concludes that many elementary school educators have found hands-on crafts projects to be one of the best techniques to enable students to sustain knowledge while instilling a curiosity for and appreciation of learning.
My 3 yo ds LOVES to stamp (much to my dismay sometimes lol)! When the ups man brings the boxes, my ds meets him at the door, then has me put the box in the middle of the couch so he sits on one side while I sit on the other and then we open it, and he checks out everything. I have to be really careful when those sets belong to customers, though, lol. He really loves the stamping part, too. Whatever color shirt he has on is what color of ink he gets to use lol.
My 13 yr old SON wants to stamp!
