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Old 08-26-2012, 08:12 PM   #1
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Default A little disappointed

I know I don't really have a right to be disappointed that the lovingly made 8.5" x 11" recipe album that I made for my best friend wasn't as appreciated as I thought it would be, but I can't help feeling a little sad that it was pushed to the side and seemingly forgotten in a day. I must have put 60 hours of work into the 25 pages. At the same time, I brought 60 cards I had made for her sister and her sister's roommate, both elementary teachers, and they didn't take any of the cards I offered them (for free). Recently, a friend and I spent a good 25 hours each, and nearly $200 total into making a baby album for a friend, and I'm not sure she's even looked at it. I'm starting to think paper crafting isn't worth it if my friends don't even appreciate my work, and I am really confused because I get compliments (from friends and strangers) and requests quite often to make cards or albums for others.

Has anyone else been feeling like their work isn't as appreciated anymore?
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Old 08-26-2012, 08:17 PM   #2
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I am so sorry this happened to you. It really sucks when someone is so thoughtless like that. yes I've had it happen to me.
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Old 08-26-2012, 08:21 PM   #3
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So sorry to hear that Alice.

I have had that happen to me before as well! I have found though that on occasions when this happens, mostly people don't know that the gift is handmade and made by you. So I've taken to pointing that out casually when I hand over the gift. Helps people understand the effort and appreciate it.

Hope this won't deter you from enjoying papercrafting! If it makes you happy, you should definitely continue with it. Maybe even post to SCS, blog about it so other papercrafters who understand the value of your work, appreciate it too.
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Old 08-26-2012, 08:28 PM   #4
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Wow! That is super lame! I have to say that my personality is such that I have delayed appreciation for gifts. I always act like I love something when in my heart, I have no idea how I feel about a gift. I just love the person for thinking of me. It is only later when I have a chance to process, I have a better chance to really look at some thing. Maybe your best friend will have a chance to use the recipes later and appreciate the idea and the time put into it. Being able to appreciate is a gift in itself.
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Old 08-26-2012, 10:38 PM   #5
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I'm sorry that happened to you. I made mini albums last summer with pictures of my grandson and his little brother - my grandson proudly wrapped one up and it was given to his other grandmother. I've never heard a word about it from her.

I quilted for years and many times the anticipated reaction was not there. One baby quilt was seen in the dog's crate - no more for that family!
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Old 08-26-2012, 10:56 PM   #6
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I was just talking about this issue the other day with my husband. He ask why I wasn't in my craft doing what I love to do. I told him I had just sent out 5 birthday cards to family members and not one of them even let me know the card got there. I was a little down by this. Now I have one aunt that has every card I ever sent in an album and calls me to say how much she loved the card. I send out hundreds of cards a year and we just had our 44th anniversary and we got 2 cards. So for now on I am making cards because I love to and maybe I will send a few out. People are just wrapped up in their own lives and get thoughtless about others.
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Old 08-26-2012, 11:24 PM   #7
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I'm sorry this has happened to you and Abby'sgrandmother. Don't let these thoughtless people take the joy out of what you love to do. Just pick who you give these precious gifts to. I send a lot of cards out and I have made books for others also. Most have been appreciated but some have not. I think because we put so much heart into what we do that its easy for us to feel unappreciated and have our feelings hurt. You do this because you love to. Keep it up. You're a better person for it.
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:23 AM   #8
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I think this has happened to all of us somewhere along the line. My conclusion is that it says more about the receiver than the giver/maker. Some people definitely don't appreciate just how much time and effort goes into something handmade- they don't realise it took hours/days, maybe even weeks to make. Its as if they feel taking half an hour to browse in card shops is more indicative of how much they are thought of!( If only they knew, lol). Like they measure their value to others via the price tag- they can look at a shop bought item, and come up with an approximate price, but with handmade, they are stumped! And they certainly don't understand the amount of sheer love that is poured into each creation.My Mom gets handmade cards for Birthday, Mothers Day, Christmas etc, from me, just like everyone else. She has never, ever mentioned that I make them myself, or whether she likes them or not. Not once. Yet I have made cards to order for work colleagues to send, and for friends of theirs who have then asked me to make special cards for them. In a number of cases, I have had phone calls/e-mails from both the senders and recipient thanking me and telling me they were lovely, and they appreciated the amount of work that went into them. Go figure.
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:45 AM   #9
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I have people ask me why I make cards when I can by them for $1 in the card store.When you make a card it more personable and prettier. Part of you is in the card. I just love making them. If I hand a card to some one that i work hard on and I see they don`t care The next one they get I wouldn`t spend as much time on. Every one doesn`t appreciate time, love, and money it takes. Just enjoy what you are doing.
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Old 08-27-2012, 03:00 AM   #10
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I've learned to only gift those who I know will appreciate it. If I'm unsure, I skip it. Why bother if a store-bought gift that takes 5 min. to purchase has the same affect.

An "acquaintance" comments constantly, "I only buy my greeting cards at Hallmark." (she knows full well I make greeting cards). So, she never gets a basket of cards for a gift (actually, I never buy her any gifts).

And, I buy the 50 cent birthday card at the Dollar Store for her as well.
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Old 08-27-2012, 04:48 AM   #11
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I am sorry your gift wasn't appreciated more. I can only hope that after everything died down, she was able to sit down and really look at your gift more....and you recieve a really nice thank you note!!!
I have one of these people in my own family. My mother doesn't like anything that I make....as she says, it is playing with paper. She knows I scrapbook and I have three boys. She has told me many times, she doesn't see why I scrapbook, when it is really about the pictures, and to just "put them in an album without all that crap on them". LOL, yes, that is my MOM!!! So I don't give her ANY scrapbooks or share them with her!
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:04 AM   #12
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I really believe that people just don't know. Straight up don't know the work that goes into making gifts, cards, scrapbooks...they truly don't know. I have friends that will immediately recognize the time that goes into handmade ANYTHING and then I have other friends who kind of have that "Oh. Thanks. This is nice" kind of thing going on. Funny that you made a recipe book though; I am getting ready to embark on that same thing myself! I am making 2 and I can pretty much predict that one of the recipients will love it and the other will probably not give it a second thought. Just think about the friends who appreciate the thought and time (and money!) that goes into your craft and don't let the others get under your skin. You would think in this day and age, where everything is email and text, that people would love something handmade even more than ever before...I know that I do.
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:12 AM   #13
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I'm sorry to hear your gift wasn't appreciated. I now only make cards or paper crafted gifts for fellow crafting friends whom I know will appreciate them. I've found over the years that very few non crafters seem to care or appreciate handmade cards/gifts, so I too go to the $1 store for their cards.
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:19 AM   #14
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OMG - some of the things people have said are just awful! I have very rarely had people say anything that negative about what I do, and even then it's people I pretty much predicted would be jerks because it's just their personality. But your MOM?! Geez. And the baby quilt in a DOG CRATE?!? I think I would have killed someone. I will admit I'm kind of one of the "bad people" when it comes to the quilt my aunt made for my DD because I have never put it in the crib for her to use... but it is most definitely not because I don't like it or don't understand the work that went into it (the panels are all hand embroidered scenes from nursery rhymes)! I just can't bear the idea that DD might have a diaper leak or throw up on it or drag it around in her teeth like she does with her other blankets! I pull it out to show people all the time because it's beautiful, but I get in trouble because we don't USE it.
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Old 08-27-2012, 06:28 AM   #15
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I only make stuff for very particular people. My grandmother always gets stuff (one because she's my grandmother) but she really loves the stuff I make and send her - really looks forward to getting them. My mom requests things. I make things for my daughter's teachers each year even though only a few ever comment on them. Some I never hear from while others go on and on about how much they love the gifts every time I see them.

Anymore, I make stuff because I want to or need to for artistic creativity, but not everyone gets the cards and stuff unless I'm trying to clear out extras and don't feel like going out and buying something cheap for those that won't appreciate the gift. I've even had other crafters who do know how much time and effort go into the creation of certain types of projects or techniques not take a second look. Needless to say, they don't get anything from me anymore.
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Old 08-27-2012, 06:39 AM   #16
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How sad for you. Maybe adding a price tag would have opened their eyes a bit.


My Mom ( gone now ) and my sisters love my handmade cards. I come from a crafty family - we know what is put in to our gifts.

It is a shame some people think handmade isn't good enough for them.
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Old 08-27-2012, 06:51 AM   #17
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Some people get it and some don't, I really think it's just as simple as that. There are a lot of people who just aren't into what we do no matter how cool the project/gift is. I've had the same thing happen to me and honestly I have to say I really don't care. It brings me joy to make things whether they are appreciated like I think they should be or not I just enjoy making them. I think we all need to learn as crafters to let things like this roll off our backs and not let others take our joy. Some people just don't get the idea behind crafting or the work that goes into it. Maybe that makes me selfish but I really don't care what the receiver thinks as long as I had fun making whatever it was. If they love it GREAT and if not....their loss, kwim?
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Old 08-27-2012, 07:10 AM   #18
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Heart I'm so sorry for your hurt!

I just hate to hear that others are hurting because of unkind words or actions! I'm so sorry for you! In reading everyones' response, I AGREE there are some that you don't need to craft for! BUT, no one has mentioned....It's PROBABLY JEALOUSY!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!! That is USUALLY the problem we have with people when they aren't kind! There's just SOMETHING bothering them! I recently sent a card to a pen-pal I had letting her know I'd started a blog & asking her to check it out. Would love to have her visit! She had ALWAYS been VERY NICE when we were corresponding! She was ALWAYS sending me little gifts & just so encouraging! Well, I got my card back---REDONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND she was critical of my blog!!!!!! I couldn't figure it out at first! Then I thought about it---she said I hadn't published her comment, so I probably didn't even read the comments! There had been ONLY one comment I hadn't publlished & that was because I didn't want an ALL OUT WAR on my blog! (It wasn't under her name!) I DO THINK it was MORE than that! In EVERY situation where people haven't been kind, it's been because of JEALOUSY!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE, you should re-think your friendship? You CAN'T have a meaningful friendship if someone is JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!! For one thing, you keep getting stabbed! Sending a HUG as one needs it when you've been hurt like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 08-27-2012, 07:32 AM   #19
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I can see a little of both sides. I've been sending out birthday cards to friends and family for two years now, and mostly I don't even get an acknoweldgement that my card arrived. At first it bothered me a little, but I enjoy making and sending cards so much that I don't care.

I'm also guilty of not properly showing my appreciation. I may receive a card and fully intend to thank the sender, but I never get around to it. I prefer to think that my friends and family appreciate what I send, but forget to mention it to me. That's ok.

As for other handmade items, sometimes they just aren't to my taste or style. I'm not a floral-print, lace, pink, girly kind of girl. So many crafted items just don't appeal to me. That's part of why I make my own cards. I want to do them my way. I always fear getting a beautiful handmande item from a friend that's not my style. I appreciate the hard work, thought, and effort, but then I wonder "what am I going to do with it?" And because it's handmade, I feel guilty if I don't use it and love it.

My father's girlfriend crochets. We had an ugly loveseat, and she made us a beautiful blanket to cover the loveseat. Unfortunately, two weeks before she gave it to us we bought a new couch. It was obviously how crestfallen she was when she realized we didn't have a use for a huge loveseat cover any more. She's never given us anything handmade since. Talk about guilt! I do use the blanket as a bedspread on our guest bed, but I think the damage is done.
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Old 08-27-2012, 07:40 AM   #20
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Sorry to hear the disappointment. I especially love the idea of a recipe book. Recipes to me are so valuable and some of my prized possessions. The recipes in my late hubby's hand and my late MIL mean so much to me. Just continue to do your hobby that brings you happiness and share with those you know will appreciate the time and effort. I have family and friends who request cards from me all the time for special occasions. I have a brother, who could care less where the card is from, so I don't know myself out... I have met (some virtually through blogging and here) that love crafting and those people share the love I have for the hobby and so I share with them.
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Old 08-27-2012, 08:15 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbysGrammy View Post
I was just talking about this issue the other day with my husband. He ask why I wasn't in my craft doing what I love to do. I told him I had just sent out 5 birthday cards to family members and not one of them even let me know the card got there. I was a little down by this. Now I have one aunt that has every card I ever sent in an album and calls me to say how much she loved the card. I send out hundreds of cards a year and we just had our 44th anniversary and we got 2 cards. So for now on I am making cards because I love to and maybe I will send a few out. People are just wrapped up in their own lives and get thoughtless about others.
I donate my cards to whomever I read about that is in need of encouragement here on SCS. There is also a thread on here somewhere, where they have a monthly challenge to send cards to different places, your cards would be much appreciated there!
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Old 08-27-2012, 08:17 AM   #22
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Here is the link for you:
Cards for a Cause Forum - Donating New, Used & Recycled Greeting Cards - Splitcoaststampers
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Old 08-27-2012, 12:53 PM   #23
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I feel for everyone who goes through this. I make jewelry as well. I have learned over the years to only make for those who seem to really like what I make.
I keeps me from being sad that I feel my efforts were unappreciated and perhaps the cards and jewelry I make is just not in keeping with their taste.
Then you have those like my BIL. I made a new baby card for their daughter. I spent loads of time and effort because many people keep those kinds of cards because of the special event. He opened the card in front of me and promptly threw it in the garbage! Then looked up and said 'Oops!'. I replied 'No worries and no more hand made cards for you!!'
Glad I can laugh about it now.
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Old 08-27-2012, 12:57 PM   #24
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I'm sorry. I've learned to just give gifts like that to people I know will love and appreciate them.
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Old 08-27-2012, 01:05 PM   #25
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Lol at Sheabella's Bro in Law! Hilarious that he said oops! He is not a best friend but part of the in laws and knew to say oops!
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Old 08-27-2012, 01:40 PM   #26
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Alice--did you take photos of these projects? They sound lovely and I would love to see what they looked like.

I have a friend whose birthday was last week. I asked her if she would like a bundle of my cards as part of her gift, and she said no because she "had plenty of free and dollar store ones already." Um, like those are comparable? I will save mine for someone who will appreciate them instead.
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Old 08-27-2012, 01:47 PM   #27
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Sorry this happened to you Alice............here is a stamp that I put on the back of some of my cards..........:

"THIS IS A HANDSTAMPED CARD AND IT BETTER NOT END UP IN THE TRASH 'CAUSE IF IT DOES, I WILL TURN YOU INTO A VOODOO DOLL AND STICK PINS IN YOUR BUTT ! ! "

Seems many have decided to keep my cards just to share this from the back of the card!!
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Old 08-27-2012, 01:50 PM   #28
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hahahahaha - HAHAHAHAHAHA - cough, cough.. spewwwwwwww

THANK YOU!

I may need that stamp! GREATNESS
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:22 PM   #29
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Quote:
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Alice--did you take photos of these projects? They sound lovely and I would love to see what they looked like.

.
Your gallery looks great! I too would love to see your recipe book.
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:34 PM   #30
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Quote:
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Sorry this happened to you Alice............here is a stamp that I put on the back of some of my cards..........:

"THIS IS A HANDSTAMPED CARD AND IT BETTER NOT END UP IN THE TRASH 'CAUSE IF IT DOES, I WILL TURN YOU INTO A VOODOO DOLL AND STICK PINS IN YOUR BUTT ! ! "

Seems many have decided to keep my cards just to share this from the back of the card!!
Too funny! I will have to remember that one!!
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Old 08-27-2012, 08:55 PM   #31
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I know it's hurtful when your hard work is not appreciated. Last month I sent out several handmade get well, sympathy, and retirement cards as well as my usual birthday and anniversary cards. Most of the people I sent them to are crafters as well, some cardmakers but all of them do either needlework, jewelry or some other craft. I had acknowledgements from only 2 people. The others all had time to forward emails containing jokes, political views, cartoons, and prayer requests but not enough time to thank or acknowledge the cards I sent! I also do needlework and have won awards for it and at a craft show a few years ago a woman came up to me and said "I'd like to buy that for $25". It was an original design of a band sampler approximately 18 x 24 inches containing silk, over-dyed and metallic threads, beads, with over 250 hours of work and the framing and matting alone cost over $200! Some people just don't get it that anything handmade is special.
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Old 08-27-2012, 10:07 PM   #32
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I send alot of cards to Operation Write Home. I also send out cards for most major holidays (about 30 each time) and birthdays. But I am like a couple of the other ladies and don't go overboard on cards for people who I don't think really appreciate/care or know how much effort/love is put into the craft. I get requests for card sets for donations for silent auctions for different charities. But the people who I know really appreciate I always send the "best" of the bunch. I've sold a few but I don't do it for money. Lord knows I could not even break even on what I've spent on supplies but thank goodness my DH indulges me. I don't know any one close that does what I love to do so when I need to be among "my people" I come here. Thanks ya'll !!
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Old 08-28-2012, 07:54 AM   #33
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You ladies REALLY know how to give someone a laugh!!!!!!!!!!! (Dakota Rosie!) TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND the BIL!!!!!!! Sounds like my Step Father!!!!!!!!! SOME PEOPLE just like to BOTHER people! They REALLY DON'T CARE! That is why you SHOULD craft ONLY for those who APPRECIATE IT! AGAIN, YOU LADIES ARE GREAT!
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Old 08-28-2012, 12:46 PM   #34
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I will put in another word for Operation Write Home. If you go to their page you will be encouraged and know that your handmade cards are VERY MUCH appreciated!

As many other posters have said; this happens to all of us at one time or another. It always sucks. I am so sorry.

My latest experience was this. Every summer a friend hosts a "Girls Night Out" party. We are asked to bring a gift between $5 and $10 for a White Elephant type swap. Everyone draws a number and you pick from the pile in order. Each person gets the option of "stealing" an already opened gift or picking a new one from the pile. In years past I have brought picture frames that I altered with paint and vintage postage stamps. They've always been well received. I usually put them in a hand-stamped gift bag as well.

This year I made a set of 4 cards; two Birthday, two Thank You. Made on QUALITY heavy weight card stock, a few embellishments, an inside stamped layer and stamped envelopes as well.

The crowd over the years has changed a little and there were a few younger ( 20's) gals there. Well my cards were picked out by a younger gal who had to be called in from the kitchen to take her turn. She had stationed herself near the margarita pitcher and was out there gabbing with a few other gals. She came in, grabbed the bag, pulled out the cards, said, "oh, stationary"..dropped them in the bag and headed back to the kitchen.

I was disappointed. Obviously these went to someone who won't appreciate the handmade nature of the cards and who probably doesn't take time out to send cards to people anyway. I wouldn't be surprised to find out she gave them away to her mother or grandmother to use!

BUT...in the end, I make cards because I LIKE to; it gives me pleasure. Unless someone is out and out RUDE and makes snide comments regarding the inferiority of handmade things in general; I will continue to send handmade cards to whomever I choose. It's their loss if they can't take time to appreciate the time and effort of a handmade item in this high tech age.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:03 PM   #35
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I make and send cards because I love to, not because I want some kind of aknowledgement for it. I will admit that I've never had any of the experiences some of you have, but even if I did, I think my answer would be " I enjoyed making it for you" .
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Old 08-29-2012, 01:09 AM   #36
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I don't think a lot of times people understand the concept of handmade items. We have become the mass produced culture. Also some people think handmade is cheap. Others receive so many presents they just glance at them and push them aside. I am guilty of the last one. That has happened to me because I was so tired and everyone was overwhelming me. I am also in agreement with the jealousy factor too.

My friends don't craft but they love my items. I think it's because they watch me craft and have been watching me for years. They know the work that goes into it. I also live in an artisan area where it is more appreciated.

I have one relative who does craft but every single time I give her something she gets really mad she doesn't own that paper, die cut, sticker or whatever else is on her card. She will set there and say "I don't own that paper!" All the while she glares at me. One year I gave her a beautiful card making kit that I worked weeks on with some beautiful elegant supplies. She gave the expensive ribbon to her cat that was $5 a yard. It wasn't these items were not her personality. Every single piece was. I realize it was just jealousy. I have learned over here a great phrase

"The Dollar Tree card list".

She's now on the Dollar Tree card list. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and go the DT route. When they do complain just tell them the truth that you didn't feel they liked your present and so you went a different route in gift giving to show your love.
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Old 08-29-2012, 01:17 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DianeinSparks View Post
The others all had time to forward emails containing jokes, political views, cartoons, and prayer requests but not enough time to thank or acknowledge the cards I sent! I also do needlework and have won awards for it and at a craft show a few years ago a woman came up to me and said "I'd like to buy that for $25". It was an original design of a band sampler approximately 18 x 24 inches containing silk, over-dyed and metallic threads, beads, with over 250 hours of work and the framing and matting alone cost over $200! Some people just don't get it that anything handmade is special.
That hurt my heart. I am needlework girl too. Hugs to you. I know how expensive it is. It's not the expense it's the time and love we put into it. I always say that every stitch is part of our history. I can point to my pieces and show lines of stitching where something major happened in my life. I collect unwanted and unloved needlework too so I can give it a good loving home.

People who send me political views and prayer requests just make me flippant mad! I got so mad at one lady one time for sending me things like that I sent her a mailing back that said "Thank you for sharing your hot bed issues with me. These are mine." I sent her a $5 package with all this political and religious stuff in there. Stopped her from ever sending me things again. It was all things against what she sent me, lol. I was mad because she just presumed I shared her sentiments because she's one of those gals who think everyone shares her views.
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Old 08-29-2012, 08:25 AM   #38
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My husband's nephew got married recently, and I did a 12x12 album for a shower gift. I put at least 60 hrs into it, spent some $$, and they were separated and divorced withing 6 months of the very expensive wedding. I just wonder what happened to the lovely gift, probably ended up in the trash.


Learned my lesson, I am going to be more selective about who gets my creations.
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Old 08-29-2012, 12:01 PM   #39
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That is so sad I had a friend who did an album for her grandmother for Christmas. She spent a whole weekend crop working on it. When she gave it to her, she pointed out all of the mistakes that she made in the journaling and never said one kind word about all the work she put into it. She had a few more pages to add, but my friend was so discouraged that she took the album back and as far as I know she still has it and hasn't finished it. People who don't make handmade items, especially papercrafts, don't understand the time, money, and work that go into such projects.

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Old 08-29-2012, 12:52 PM   #40
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I DO think people don't realize the EXPENSE! Paper Crafts IS an EXPENSIVE craft! Or so I've ALWAYS thought! With all the supplies that go into it.....not to mention the TIME!!!!!!! BUT, paper crafts like other crafts is a GIFT FROM THE HEART! If you don't have the proper tools, it takes you EVEN LONGER to finish a project! If you DO have the proper tools, you've spent ALOT usually! People now a days, are more selfish too. Like someone said earlier, "digital age..." IF people ONLY KNEW!!!!!!!!! Hmm, THAT'S a thought!!!!!!!!!!! Invite them over one day & SPRING a time of crafting on them! LOL See what would happen!!!!!!!! MAYBE, you'd spawn a "partner in crime!"
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