I saw this on another board and just had to share!
STAMPERS RULES OF ACQUISITION
* 1) You want it, therefore you need it.
* 2) You need it, therefore you must buy it.
* 3) All other things you need, including food, shelter,
clothing, car insurance, and lunch money, are incidental in comparison to what you need for stamping
* 4) Never add up the total for what you have purchased for
* 5) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on
stamping and related items, never count things that are not actual stamps.
* 6) If you are compelled to calculate total dollars spent on
stamping and related items, never include items that cannot be traced via the receipt (ie -- office supplies are office supplies, gift wrap is gift wrap -- never mind where it ends up in your house....)
* 7) When writing checks from the joint checking account, always
write "S.W." in the check register. You will know that this stands for Stamp Wares but DH will think it is Safeway when he scans the checkbook to see where you have been shopping. And he KNOWS groceries are expensive, and you need lots of them.... (editor's
note: Substitute the grocery store in your city for Safeway; here it would be Sentry...[S. is for....])
If a member of your family discards an item that is usable
for stamping, you may replace it. For example, your husband receives a shirt as a gift - if he throws the tissue paper away you may purchase a replacement. You do not have to replace it with the same white tissue paper. This applies to candy bar wrappers that your kids throw away too,
however they are not permitted to eat the replacement candy!
* 9 If everyone else wants it, then you must want it too -- even
if you don't know what it is. (case in point -- one word -- "blitzer")
* 10) If everyone else wants it, even if you don't know what it
is, and you find it on sale, buy it ALL. (Editor's note: This phenomenon is widely known as the SALE factor, and is the only situation in which the Stamper may completely ignore Rules of Acquisition #5 and #6, and announce gleefully how much money s/he has SAVED by purchasing said
items. (This suspending of the rules is dependent upon: a) the actual
percentage off b) the total dollar amount spent c) the projected reaction of partner/other interested party.
For more detailed worksheet on Rule Suspension see Stampers' Rules of
Acquisition Handbook - Chapter 9, Sub- section C, Paragraph 14, and model on facing page.)
* 11) Grabbags MUST be purchased at they time they are advertised.
There very likely could be that ONE special stamp you cannot live without, and the others work for RAKS! If you don't order immediately, you may lose that special stamp.
* 12) Keep *everything*, no matter how useless or ugly or small
it may be. It *will* become absolutely essential for a rubber project some day.
* 13) When you buy something, use it before you read the
directions.* (*Acquisition reasoning -- if you mess it up or break it, you get to buy another one...)
* 14) Every stamper MUST own every type of glue that is on the
market However, s/he may restrict use to her/his favorite.
* 15) Whenever a new stamp pad is made available, you must
immediately purchase every one of the colors in which it comes.
* 16) When getting a stamp for a particular project it is
imperative that you buy the same image type from a variety of companies (a minimum of 3 is recommended). Once you actually sit down to make the project you will find that it is much better that
you have not limited your selection to just one option of the image.
* 17) It is essential to have ALL the Fiskar edged scissors even
if you know you won't use anything but the deckle edge. You never know when having the Victorian hearts flourish edge won't be PERFECT!
Get all types of markers, don't limit your creativity to
just Marveys and LePlumes. Make sure you have a good selection of Tombows, Tria's and even the cheap kind you buy at the market!
* 19) The iron is NOT for clothes. Anyone who uses an iron for
clothes is excommunicated from the Stamper's Union. (Editor's note: You may avoid excommunication by following subsection B pursuant to rule #23 which in layman's terms translates as "you may use an iron
for its original perverted purpose only by purchasing an auxiliary iron.
However, only the old iron may be used for household purposes. Aforementioned perverted purpose is not one that is condoned by the Stamper's Union and should be performed ONLY by support staff personnel.)
* 20) Tissue paper is for making envelopes and for hoarding.
Never use it for wrapping packages unless you have stamped on it
* 21) There is absolutely NO such thing as too much paper...of
any kind. Disregard nasty comments about the two years worth of New York Times stashed in the boxes at the back of the garage. Corollaries here are: a-the complete set of National Geographics is worth the $150...they are actually priceless. B-it is perfectly acceptable to save not only the wrapping paper on your presents, but all the wrapping paper on
everyone's presents... c-EVERYHING is exotic paper and should be purchased and/or saved. Including the $24 a sheet stuff you saw at the specialty store.
* 22) If you think there is a ghost of a chance that you might
use it in a future project, buy it now. Cause if you need it later, you can bet a) you won't be able to find it, b) no one will have heard of it and c) there won't be a substitute.
* 23) A stamper must purchase appropriate storage containers,
shelves, bins, units, etc., for all stamping related purchases. A stamper has the right and responsibility to discard all previously purchased storage systems in order to purchase a new, more appropriate
system at any time.