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Unread 04-26-2017, 06:00 AM   #41
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I was going to make the same comment as Rachelrose.
Talking with your therapist is your safe place. She has to know how you are feeling in order to help you.
And I do. It's just that we've mutually decided not to make that a focus of our times together, but to focus on the underlying issues instead. I do have a safety contract with her, and I have her personal phone number. She told me that I am the ONLY client she has ever given that to but has done so because I am so respectful of boundaries (as a formal social worker, I am probably the queen of boundaries!) and because my situation is the most difficult and heart breaking one she has ever encountered. She has cried with me a number of times - partly because she knows these ladies (most of them) and it has been hard for her too. At one point, one of the ladies mailed (by UPS - she lives about a mile from me) me back the cards I had given to her. That was definitely a low point.
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Unread 04-26-2017, 03:40 PM   #42
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Wavejumper .... I meant to respond to this comment a day or so ago. BTW, you are a very insightful and perceptive person. If and when I write my store, this statement that you made will be one whole chapter (at least).

I am no therapist but I am wondering if in your desperation to pull them back, you scared them more?

Here is one important life lesson I have learned (unfortunately more than once). There are two basic ways of handling conflict (not counting violent behavior and other clearly destructive behavior). There are two reasonable ways of handling conflict that CAN work if both sides understand the dynamic and accept it.

One is to face it head-on, sit down, talk about it, be assertive but respectful .... clear the air and where necessary, compromise or agree to disagree. But do it mutually and with a healthy dose of humility and understanding. This is my style, and it is what I believe, is taught in scripture.

The other way - which CAN also work with some personality types is to just avoid the conflict, let it go, let it blow over. For me, this can only work if the issue is small and not worth a lot of discussion. Occasionally - but not often. But for many people (and I have found this to be true of almost ALL of these former stamping friends) it is their modus operandi .... it's the way they're wired. They recoil at the thought of having to actually TALK to someone face to face when there is tension in the air. As long as both sides are content with just letting it blow over, it works.

But what happens when you have two people with opposite styles of conflict resolution. Here's what I have learned (too many times). The more I push to sit down and talk, the more they retreat. And the more they retreat, the harder I push. Both sides are panicking because they feel they're being forced into handling conflict in a way that is TOTALLY foreign to them. And the chasm between them grows.

The other factor here is the 'law of least interest'. I wrote a paper on this once. Pretty interesting when you understand it. Essentially it is this: the person who cares the least in a relationship holds the power. Think about it. If a couple is having marital problems, the one who so desperately wants to stay together is the one who ends up hurt. The one who wants out can walk away and move on with their life with little thought of the massive damage they have caused to their mate.

My personality is such that I am loyal to an extreme that is almost off the charts. I have plenty of faults but loyalty is probably my greatest strength. I do not walk away from a friend - EVER - FOR ANY REASON. There was one exception to that - when a friend who had begged to take care of my corgis while I was on vacation decided that she didn't want to do it after a few days and literally abandoned them on my neighbor's front porch. (It was Christmas Eve - all kennels were full.) But other than that one person, I could never imagine ending a friendship. I even had a good friend who was transgendered. It was hard. Awkward. Uncomfortable. But I saw her (later him) suffering, being rejected by everyone and I just could not be one of them. Our friendship changed, but it is still in tact. So the Law of Least Interest bites me every time. I wish I didn't care so much. I really do. It's just not me.
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Last edited by Princess Dee; 04-26-2017 at 03:44 PM..
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Unread 04-26-2017, 04:17 PM   #43
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Beth, sometimes we must take baby steps. Those baby can be the hardest thing to do sometimes. But each baby step adds up to a big step and then a leap. Things can become easier.
This may sound really silly to people but her is my baby steps and stamping....
I had to do this back in 2005. One morning I was feeling great. I walked my kids to school. I came home and was making birthday cards.
THe worst horrific pain ripped through my head.
I was home alone and called 911 - thankfully I stayed concious long enough to.
I had a very large ruptured brain aneurysm and a stroke. I was in the ICU and neuro for 7 weeks.
It took months to feel myself again. My thinking was not "normal" .
I was actually AFRAID to stamp. Yup. I was terrified that if I sat to stamp that it would happen again. Like pressing a stamp into an inkpad cased it.! My husband kept bugging me to sit and stamp again. Finally I agreed to IF he would sit right there with me.
So that is how I started to stamp in my living room in our old house. TO start I just started to stamp images on scrap cardstock. Then eventually I slowly started to make a card.... and well I got back into stamping.
WOW I NEVER really talk about this bit about me before as I said, some people think it is crazy of me but I actually had that legit fear.
So just try a baby step and then another one. It can help maybe for you to?
I am praying for you and hope you can find your joy again in stamping.
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Unread 04-26-2017, 07:14 PM   #44
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Beth, the "friend" who mailed back all the cards you made her was never really a friend; a true friend would never do something so hurtful and hateful.
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Unread 04-26-2017, 08:54 PM   #45
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Beth, sometimes we must take baby steps. Those baby can be the hardest thing to do sometimes. But each baby step adds up to a big step and then a leap. Things can become easier.
This may sound really silly to people but her is my baby steps and stamping....
I had to do this back in 2005. One morning I was feeling great. I walked my kids to school. I came home and was making birthday cards.
THe worst horrific pain ripped through my head.
I was home alone and called 911 - thankfully I stayed concious long enough to.
I had a very large ruptured brain aneurysm and a stroke. I was in the ICU and neuro for 7 weeks.
It took months to feel myself again. My thinking was not "normal" .
I was actually AFRAID to stamp. Yup. I was terrified that if I sat to stamp that it would happen again. Like pressing a stamp into an inkpad cased it.! My husband kept bugging me to sit and stamp again. Finally I agreed to IF he would sit right there with me.
So that is how I started to stamp in my living room in our old house. TO start I just started to stamp images on scrap cardstock. Then eventually I slowly started to make a card.... and well I got back into stamping.
WOW I NEVER really talk about this bit about me before as I said, some people think it is crazy of me but I actually had that legit fear.
So just try a baby step and then another one. It can help maybe for you to?
I am praying for you and hope you can find your joy again in stamping.
So many stories here of people going through adversities with different circumstances but similar struggles to find their way back. Your story makes good sense. And yes, that is what I need to do as well.

Fears are often irrational and the fear that my friends chose (and I do believe it was a choice) to embrace had absolutely no root in anything they'd ever seen or experienced with me before. And yet that one issue - the struggle with suicidal thought - pushed them all away. It is a TOUGH issue in so many ways. Marsha Linehan has written some outstanding articles on and for the 'chronically suicidal'. (I have a friend who has lived the 'rescue me again' lifestyle for 40 years. I can't imagine it. ) So mine isn't exactly chronic but it's been a big issue this year. I am starting to let go of it with some success. There are reasons for that that would take too long to explain.

You 'irrational' fear re: the ink pad causing the stroke made me chuckle. I was a very good seamstress back in my teens and twenties - made cheerleading uniforms, a couple wedding dresses and countless bridesmaid dresses. Eventually I got to the point where I thought I 'deserved' a really nice machine - a Bernina. Now this was back in the 80's - long before surgers and computerized machines - so a top of the line machine was $1000. A lot of money for me at that time. I got the machine - and I quit sewing. It was the CRAZIEST thing. I struggled to figure out what was going on in my head and finally realized that I felt I didn't deserve such a nice machine. I longed to have my $200 Kenmore back. It took me YEARS to get past that and I have never really become an avid sewer again for other reasons. But I do some. But that just illustrates how our minds and psyches can play with us ... convince us we're unworthy ... and ruin something that brought such joy. I did not major in home economics for that very reason - I knew it would ruin something I loved. So it is now with stamping. But I've gotten so many excellent ideas here that I think I will slowly start to find my way back. I'll never be what I was. I don't want that kind of pressure anymore (the one group was VERY talented). But making CAS cards and simple thank you, birthday etc. cards is something I hope to recover my joy for. For me the obstacle isn't so much the stroke but the rejection. But Lori keeps telling me to take back my power. Don't let them define me. A couple of them, I am convinced, are sick. Truly paranoid. I feel sad for them. I will find my way back again to something that feels right.
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Unread 04-27-2017, 06:06 AM   #46
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As I read your last few lines, it occurred to me to say this: If the "cards you used to make" aren't something that appeals to you, you could do what I'm going to do (because I'm sort of there, too). I'm going to start making tags and ATCs (Artist Trading Cards). The smaller size and ability to use all of my tools and toys with no parameters at all appeals to me so much more than a card. Plus, if I DO decide I need a card, I can easily put the tag or ATC on a base, and I'm good to go!
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Unread 04-27-2017, 06:36 AM   #47
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That's a good idea, Sue. I'm kind of floundering right now myself. I want to be working, but I can't find my mojo with cards at the moment. Thanks for that suggestion.
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Unread 04-27-2017, 10:02 AM   #48
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As I read your last few lines, it occurred to me to say this: If the "cards you used to make" aren't something that appeals to you, you could do what I'm going to do (because I'm sort of there, too). I'm going to start making tags and ATCs (Artist Trading Cards). The smaller size and ability to use all of my tools and toys with no parameters at all appeals to me so much more than a card. Plus, if I DO decide I need a card, I can easily put the tag or ATC on a base, and I'm good to go!
Great idea. I also am thinking I might make some CAS cards without a greeting on them and then I can add that (thank you, birthday, sympathy etc.) when I need it. My friends are used to being allowed to go through all of my cards (I was just in SO MANY groups) and picking out 50 or so for their birthdays but my supply is quickly dwindling. So they will not be getting that anymore, but I know they'll understand.
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Unread 04-27-2017, 06:07 PM   #49
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Beth, I think it is a great idea to make cards with no specific sentiments and add them later. I am actually going to use your thought on that as do it myself.
I am glad I was able to make you chuckle of that irrational fear I had. I look back on it now and wonder what the heck! But it was real and it took me a long while to realize it was nothing I did to cause it. It was something that just happened.
Beth when you are ready just say the word....Maybe us SCSers on this thread that want to, can do a simple card or tag swap?
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Unread 04-28-2017, 03:32 AM   #50
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Beth, the "friend" who mailed back all the cards you made her was never really a friend; a true friend would never do something so hurtful and hateful.
I agree - this was cruel. She's done a number of things that are in that category. She was a good friend but she needs her world neat and tidy and my situation was definitely not that. She was the first of my church friends (and the only common link between the two groups) to pull away. When I re-read my post though, I should have said that she gave back the cards that we swapped - not birthday cards, thank you cards sent specifically TO HER. My therapist knows her though, and she was horrified the day I told her. She's cried with me and for me several times. That was one of them.
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Unread 04-28-2017, 03:39 AM   #51
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Beth, I think it is a great idea to make cards with no specific sentiments and add them later. I am actually going to use your thought on that as do it myself.
I am glad I was able to make you chuckle of that irrational fear I had. I look back on it now and wonder what the heck! But it was real and it took me a long while to realize it was nothing I did to cause it. It was something that just happened.
Beth when you are ready just say the word....Maybe us SCSers on this thread that want to, can do a simple card or tag swap?
I have a pretty open weekend and am going to accept the challenge that some of you have given and try to make SOMETHING. I will post it here. I'll have to use stazon ink or something that won't run because I'm sure there will be tears falling on whatever I end up making.

I have to say one more thing. I used to get up in the morning and check Email right away. There was always banter going back and forth between my friends. It has been SO HARD this past year to get up and have NOTHING in my Email box. It's made me feel so terribly alone. On the weekends, in particular, I'd just swallow a couple more sleeping pills, pull the covers up over my head and sleep as much of the weekend away as I could. I realized this morning that you ladies have given me back that feeling of being connected. It doesn't matter if it's Email or just checking in here - the point is, there is almost always a note that someone has left to encourage me. It's made my mornings easier. Seriously, it has. I can't thank you enough for that.
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Unread 04-28-2017, 04:07 AM   #52
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Even when I'm not in crafting mode, I spend time here. I feel this is my community. I love to read the posts and chime in.

You have so many years of experience! Your input when people have questions would be invaluable! Don't deny us your perspective and your wealth of knowledge!
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Unread 04-28-2017, 05:26 AM   #53
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Yeah, what Robin said...
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Unread 04-28-2017, 01:17 PM   #54
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I have a pretty open weekend and am going to accept the challenge that some of you have given and try to make SOMETHING. I will post it here. I'll have to use stazon ink or something that won't run because I'm sure there will be tears falling on whatever I end up making.

I have to say one more thing. I used to get up in the morning and check Email right away. There was always banter going back and forth between my friends. It has been SO HARD this past year to get up and have NOTHING in my Email box. It's made me feel so terribly alone. On the weekends, in particular, I'd just swallow a couple more sleeping pills, pull the covers up over my head and sleep as much of the weekend away as I could. I realized this morning that you ladies have given me back that feeling of being connected. It doesn't matter if it's Email or just checking in here - the point is, there is almost always a note that someone has left to encourage me. It's made my mornings easier. Seriously, it has. I can't thank you enough for that.
Oh yes please keep us posted on your weekend.
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Unread 04-29-2017, 04:42 AM   #55
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I wanted to take a moment and thank you for sharing your story. It can't have been easy, but it was incredibly brave. I'm sure your story and the other stories people have shared have helped more of us. This is a safe place for all of us.
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Unread 04-29-2017, 05:26 AM   #56
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I wanted to take a moment and thank you for sharing your story. It can't have been easy, but it was incredibly brave. I'm sure your story and the other stories people have shared have helped more of us. This is a safe place for all of us.
Thank you. I was thinking about this last night and wondering if I'd done the right thing. I'm relatively certain that none of my former friends are active on SCS anymore because I have no desire to call them out or hurt them. But I was thinking last night about what I'D be thinking if someone else shared the story that I did. I know what I'd be thinking. I'd be feeling bad for them, and certainly wanting to support them - but I would also be thinking, "OK - this doesn't all quite add up. There HAS to be more to the story." That would be a perfectly natural response and I'm sure some of you have thought that and it is just fine - and I'm trying not to get overly anxious about that. To the best of my ability, I've laid things out as they've happened. It has TRULY been bizarre and my therapist REALLY DID say that this is the craziest, most complicated situation she's ever heard of. However, you've heard it from my side. I don't know what (if any) facts the ladies would dispute ..... I don't think there would be many, BUT they would probably have a different perspective on how my extreme pain and my initial anger and lashing out affected (and scared) them. They knew me. They should have 'known' that wasn't me. They should have been willing to extend a little grace and forgiveness. But, for whatever reason, their fear overtook all of that. They're human. They are who they are - or to say it the way I often say it - It is what it is. I pray for their healing too. I don't understand their pastors, their elders - except that some of them are spouses and I learned very quickly that these women hid behind their husbands. And they don't seem to understand that I don't have that. I have no one. I'm alone. I was (and still am) broken. I'm doing the best I can. I wish they could put themselves in my place and try to imagine how they would respond under the same circumstances. Maybe, in time, they will. I am not holding my breath but there are two of these women who I believe - someday - will come to me and make things right. They are good women. Caring, compassionate and loving women. They got scared and they're still scared. I just pray that God will heal their hearts, as He does mine, and reach out to me for forgiveness that I would so gladly offer them.

In the meantime, the sun is shining, I have to clean up my yard, run the mower over the crappy looking grass that is emerging, vacuum dog hair out of my car, go for lunch with a friend - and then, this evening, I will try to stamp a card or two. Stay tuned. (And thank you! I keep saying it - but you bring tears to my eyes. You've all been so kind. What a great place - and totally unexpected. Maybe this is part of my healing. I'm pretty sure it is.)
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Unread 04-29-2017, 06:30 AM   #57
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...You've all been so kind. What a great place - and totally unexpected. Maybe this is part of my healing. I'm pretty sure it is.)
It has been my experience that the Universe (or God, or whatever label you're comfortable with) puts people in our path to help us move along it. I'm pretty sure it is, too...

Just so you know, I'm sure that I speak for most of us when I say that we are learning from you. Relationships are always about an exchange of some kind - something given, something received - and I'm glad that you feel that you are receiving valuable acceptance and support. I/we are receiving insight into mob mentality and the resulting effects, and lessons in forgiveness and moving on.

It is amazingly wonderful that you can recognize that your story is from your perspective, and that you can allow for the human failings of the other side of the story and possible reasons behind what happened to you. I thank you again for your courage in sharing your experiences...
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Unread 04-29-2017, 12:58 PM   #58
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Only two things, since so many people here have given such warmth, love, and great advice. First, where was your pastor in all of this? He/she should have gotten involved. Two, I have learned in MY life to get rid of toxic people. They destroy your spirit/core and maybe even make you feel like YOU are the one at fault. There are so many wonderful, lovable, affirming people in the world. You do not need these horrible people. And all the hurt ln our lives will eventually be used to be there for hurting others. May God wrap a hedgerow around your heart. (Whoops! One more. If one of these women is a high up SU demo, a call to report her behavior should be reported. She is not a very good representative for the company.)
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Unread 04-29-2017, 03:06 PM   #59
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Only two things, since so many people here have given such warmth, love, and great advice. First, where was your pastor in all of this? He/she should have gotten involved. Two, I have learned in MY life to get rid of toxic people. They destroy your spirit/core and maybe even make you feel like YOU are the one at fault. There are so many wonderful, lovable, affirming people in the world. You do not need these horrible people. And all the hurt ln our lives will eventually be used to be there for hurting others. May God wrap a hedgerow around your heart. (Whoops! One more. If one of these women is a high up SU demo, a call to report her behavior should be reported. She is not a very good representative for the company.)
I have seriously thought of reporting the person that is in Founders Circle, but to be perfectly honest, I have to pick my battles. I have chosen the ones that directly impact me. To report her would not help me and would require more energy than I have. And again - as I've said about so many of these women - she is a great person but she is a TERRIBLE gossip and she, single handedly, has destroyed more of my other friendships than any other person. I still love her - I really do. We were such good friends. But she is fickle. She pretended to support me at first, and then one night - she accidentally copied me on a very viscious Email that she sent out to the others. The back peddling and lies she made up about how it happened (there were RIDICULOUS - one of them was something about how her husband bumped her hand when she was typing and her pinky finger hit the 'send' button accidentally ..... she was trying to explain why I GOT the email. I wanted to know why she WROTE it!!!) Anyway - she showed her hand that night and she unfriended me on FB the next day and took one other person (who had been supporting me) with her. Too cowardly to stand up and do the right thing.

As far as my pastor - that is a long story that is kind of woven into some of the other posts here. I left the church I was in at the time I had the stroke because the leader of the first group went to that church and I just didn't think I could handle being there with her. So my four closest friends in the other group I was in INVITED me to their church and I went there all summer and then after the above incident with the Email I accidentally got (both of those women went to this church) they suddenly decided they didn't want me there any more. The senior pastor has been kind to me, but he's rather spineless in standing up to these women. And two of the other pastors were absolutely vicious in attacking my character - making accusations that I was able to prove wrong - but they didn't have the strength of character to apologize. I lost such respect for them. And yet THAT is the church where I really want to go for many reasons. I love so much about it, I have a lot of friends still there and it's about a half mile from my house. But they called the police to see how they could get rid of me .... found out they really couldn't (since I hadn't done anything ... never threatened or even approached any of these women there). They chose paranoia over trust and cruelty over grace. And I was asked to voluntarily quit going - which I did. So I'm kind of visiting other churches but really don't have a home. I spend a lot of time alone with my dogs. Don't do much socializing. I am very introverted and need a lot of time alone to rest and to heal. I watch some church services on the internet, read a lot, have videos that I enjoy watching and I work for a Christian radio station (29 years) so I get plenty of 'feeding' from the programming that we carry.
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Unread 04-29-2017, 04:19 PM   #60
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Hi Beth!

I feel your pain. I had a close friend for over ten years who simply stopped returning my calls and emails. No explanation, no reason, just no response. I have some stamp sets that she gave me as gifts, and I'm thinking of getting rid of them because every time I come into contact with them, I remember her.

Just my humble option, but I think it would be a healthy move to get rid of the stuff that you associate with the trauma -- for example, all the Stampin Up sets that you mentioned -- but it would be great if you could keep on crafting, just with new product or the product that you have a positive association with like the PTI stuff you mentioned. A fresh start.


To that end I'll mention a great group here on SCS: the $10 PIF swap. You get to trade stuff with other stampers for the price of postage. New stuff, new mojo and a way to get rid of the things you don't want. It's a bit of a pain to get set up with the Swaps boards, but it's worth the effort, promise! Added benefit: you get to check in everyday to see new adds to the list of items available. In fact, you would be helping us, because you would be sharing new goodies : )



http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/fo...a-t616998.html


There's also a thread in the organization forum for donating supplies to a woman who helps victims of domestic violence with art therapy:


Purging & De-Stashing???


Finally, if you want to sell without too much effort, how about making mystery boxes? A guarantee of at least X number of SU sets, Y number of some other crafting supplies, and it's a mystery what the sets are. You don't even need to know what's in the box. A great way to throw a bunch of stuff in there without having to think to much about each one -- listing each one, photographing each one, describing each one, etc.


If you do want to sell individually, I would try the B/S/T forum here first. It's a lot less work than e-bay.


As to the struggles you've faced, it's hard to add anything that these lovely ladies haven't already said. Sometimes the behavior of others is inexplicable and has nothing to do with us. A long time ago I was friends with some women who were very into Longaberger baskets. There were two women who were fast friends. They went on vacation together with their families. Their children played together. They worked on their Longaberger businesses together. At some point Longaberger changed their rules, and one woman (let's call her Alice for the sake of this story) decided that she should move on to a jewelry business. She quit her Longaberger business, because Longaberger saw the jewelry business as a conflict. Well the other woman (let's call her Karen) decided to abruptly stop the friendship because of Alice's disloyalty to Longaberger. Karen completely shunned Alice. Their kids never spoke to each other again. Because of Karen's (to me) inexplicable hostility the friendship between the families - every single member of each family - was broken forever. Alice was extremely popular and still had a lot of Longaberger friends and new friends from her jewelry business, but years later, I could tell that she was still hurt by Karen's behavior and having lost her best friend.


I'm still saddened by some of the people who have pulled away from me. People who never gave me a chance to apologize or rectify the situation. Who never even told me what was wrong in the first place.


Thank you for giving us all a chance to admit and share our vulnerabilities as humans with feeling hearts.

Anyway, chin up! Keep on sharing with us. We'll help you get your stamping mojo back!

Sending lots of hugs and smiles and best wishes out to you! Oh, and some warmer weather too!

And finally, here's a little something to bring some joy -- the ever important Corgi or breadloaf question:


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Unread 04-29-2017, 05:14 PM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoboken Paper View Post
Hi Beth!

I feel your pain. I had a close friend for over ten years who simply stopped returning my calls and emails. No explanation, no reason, just no response. I have some stamp sets that she gave me as gifts, and I'm thinking of getting rid of them because every time I come into contact with them, I remember her.

Just my humble option, but I think it would be a healthy move to get rid of the stuff that you associate with the trauma -- for example, all the Stampin Up sets that you mentioned -- but it would be great if you could keep on crafting, just with new product or the product that you have a positive association with like the PTI stuff you mentioned. A fresh start.


To that end I'll mention a great group here on SCS: the $10 PIF swap. You get to trade stuff with other stampers for the price of postage. New stuff, new mojo and a way to get rid of the things you don't want. It's a bit of a pain to get set up with the Swaps boards, but it's worth the effort, promise! Added benefit: you get to check in everyday to see new adds to the list of items available. In fact, you would be helping us, because you would be sharing new goodies : )



http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/fo...a-t616998.html


There's also a thread in the organization forum for donating supplies to a woman who helps victims of domestic violence with art therapy:


Purging & De-Stashing???


Finally, if you want to sell without too much effort, how about making mystery boxes? A guarantee of at least X number of SU sets, Y number of some other crafting supplies, and it's a mystery what the sets are. You don't even need to know what's in the box. A great way to throw a bunch of stuff in there without having to think to much about each one -- listing each one, photographing each one, describing each one, etc.


If you do want to sell individually, I would try the B/S/T forum here first. It's a lot less work than e-bay.


As to the struggles you've faced, it's hard to add anything that these lovely ladies haven't already said. Sometimes the behavior of others is inexplicable and has nothing to do with us. A long time ago I was friends with some women who were very into Longaberger baskets. There were two women who were fast friends. They went on vacation together with their families. Their children played together. They worked on their Longaberger businesses together. At some point Longaberger changed their rules, and one woman (let's call her Alice for the sake of this story) decided that she should move on to a jewelry business. She quit her Longaberger business, because Longaberger saw the jewelry business as a conflict. Well the other woman (let's call her Karen) decided to abruptly stop the friendship because of Alice's disloyalty to Longaberger. Karen completely shunned Alice. Their kids never spoke to each other again. Because of Karen's (to me) inexplicable hostility the friendship between the families - every single member of each family - was broken forever. Alice was extremely popular and still had a lot of Longaberger friends and new friends from her jewelry business, but years later, I could tell that she was still hurt by Karen's behavior and having lost her best friend.


I'm still saddened by some of the people who have pulled away from me. People who never gave me a chance to apologize or rectify the situation. Who never even told me what was wrong in the first place.


Thank you for giving us all a chance to admit and share our vulnerabilities as humans with feeling hearts.

Anyway, chin up! Keep on sharing with us. We'll help you get your stamping mojo back!

Sending lots of hugs and smiles and best wishes out to you! Oh, and some warmer weather too!

And finally, here's a little something to bring some joy -- the ever important Corgi or breadloaf question:


Who can resist a corgi butt?!?! My fur babies have brought such comfort this year. They are just with me, always happy to see me and if I'm sad, they lick my tears.

This is spring cleanup week here. I took a HUGE box of stuff - a lot of ribbon, eyelets (remember those??) and designer paper - to the curb and a lot of it has already been picked up. If I do any sale this summer, it will be Stampin Up only. You are absolutely right - that's the first stuff I need to get rid of as it holds most of the memories. I have a hard time getting rid of sets with dies. Like that butterfly set of a few years back with the dies .... I just cannot get rid of that one. And there are a few others and some sentiment sets like the one that has all the little greetings. I used that set ALL THE TIME. But most of my SU stuff will go.

I had a sale last week and donated it all to a homeless shelter. This year I might do something similar and instead of pricing everything, ask them to make out a check to their favorite charity or their church and I'll mail them all in after the sale. They'll get the tax credit that way - which I would prefer to have myself, but I don't want them to wonder if I really give the money away and this one group of ladies is SO SUSPICIOUS of me that I KNOW they would think that. But I'd like to figure out a way to get rid of some stuff without having to price it all. That's the part that wears me out.

My PTI sets will be the last to go, as well as Our Daily Bread, Verve and Taylored Expressions. A lot of memories with my PTI stuff too (especially with two of the women) but doggonit, those are my favorite sets and I'm not going to let them take that away from me.

This all happened last year RIGHT AFTER the new SU catalog came out and I put in a $300 order. I ended up giving most of that stuff (brand new) to the Founders Circle demo and the friend that betrayed me with her. They were 'with me' at the time I gave them all those sets .... then that unfortunate email went out and they both abandoned me. You would THINK that - at that point - they would have given me back the sets I had just given them. Never did. It burns me. But I just can't go there.

Oh - I also wanted to respond to your opening comments about having something similar to happen. At times I have felt like my situation is so over the top that no one could possibly understand but that is a fallacy. I have learned that there are PLENTY of people - good, kind people - who have been betrayed and never given an explanation - just like me. It is so hard. But I know I am far from alone.
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Unread 04-29-2017, 05:16 PM   #62
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Who can resist a corgi butt?!?! My fur babies have brought such comfort this year. They are just with me, always happy to see me and if I'm sad, they lick my tears.

This is spring cleanup week here. I took a HUGE box of stuff - a lot of ribbon, eyelets (remember those??) and designer paper - to the curb and a lot of it has already been picked up. If I do any sale this summer, it will be Stampin Up only. You are absolutely right - that's the first stuff I need to get rid of as it holds most of the memories. I have a hard time getting rid of sets with dies. Like that butterfly set of a few years back with the dies .... I just cannot get rid of that one. And there are a few others and some sentiment sets like the one that has all the little greetings. I used that set ALL THE TIME. But most of my SU stuff will go.

I had a sale last week and donated it all to a homeless shelter. This year I might do something similar and instead of pricing everything, ask them to make out a check to their favorite charity or their church and I'll mail them all in after the sale. They'll get the tax credit that way - which I would prefer to have myself, but I don't want them to wonder if I really give the money away and this one group of ladies is SO SUSPICIOUS of me that I KNOW they would think that. But I'd like to figure out a way to get rid of some stuff without having to price it all. That's the part that wears me out.

My PTI sets will be the last to go, as well as Our Daily Bread, Verve and Taylored Expressions. A lot of memories with my PTI stuff too (especially with two of the women) but doggonit, those are my favorite sets and I'm not going to let them take that away from me.

This all happened last year RIGHT AFTER the new SU catalog came out and I put in a $300 order. I ended up giving most of that stuff (brand new) to the Founders Circle demo and the friend that betrayed me with her. They were 'with me' at the time I gave them all those sets .... then that unfortunate email went out and they both abandoned me. You would THINK that - at that point - they would have given me back the sets I had just given them. Never did. It burns me. But I just can't go there.

Oh - I also wanted to respond to your opening comments about having something similar to happen. At times I have felt like my situation is so over the top that no one could possibly understand but that is a fallacy. I have learned that there are PLENTY of people - good, kind people - who have been betrayed and never given an explanation - just like me. It is so hard. But I know I am far from alone.
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Unread 04-29-2017, 05:20 PM   #63
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Error
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Unread 04-29-2017, 05:22 PM   #64
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Not sure how I managed to post this so many times .... ugh. I am past the edit period on one so I apologize for the duplicate post. And the sale was last FALL - not last WEEK. I'm tired!!!
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Unread 04-29-2017, 06:29 PM   #65
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I pm email you some questions thanks Linda
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Unread 04-29-2017, 07:49 PM   #66
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I still hope to stamp SOMETHING tomorrow as it is supposed be cold and we actually have a BLIZZARD watch for Sunday night and Monday. Ugh. But today was nice. Everything I put out on the curb was picked up. Sixty new pkgs of designer paper - someone got a boatload!! I worked outside all day and my back was killing me. So I go to Menards to get a few things and suddenly I could not stand my back hurting one more minute. I had a strapless bra on (I HATE them) and that was half of the problem so I'm standing in the battery aisle, reach up, unhook it and stuff it in my coat pocket just as a young male employee comes around the corner. I can't imagine what he thought I was doing. Either he thought I was shoplifting something (and I was SO SCARED he'd make me empty my pocket ..... can you imagine?!) or if he realized what I was doing, he must have had a good laugh. Sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
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Unread 04-29-2017, 08:40 PM   #67
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Beth, thank you so much for sharing your story, my heart is breaking for you with all that you have been through and for the hurt you have endured from people you thought were your friends. I went through a lot of what I would call "shunning" all through school and it has taken me years to be able to trust people (and I still have issues). But stamping has brought me some wonderful friends and for that I am grateful. I so wish we lived near each other, I would love to get together and stamp with you. If you would like to PM me your address I would love to send you some cards just to say hi and that I am thinking of you. I'm so glad you reached out to these wonderful ladies on SCS, there are so many loving, caring people here and as others have said, this is a safe place to fall. I too am an introvert and need lots of time to myself but I also need other people in my life, it's just human nature to want to connect with others. And even though I am married and have kids and grandkids, we all need those other people who share the same interests and can provide those things that we don't necessarily get from our family members. I will keep coming back here to see how you are doing and pray that you find comfort and happiness again with being part of the stamping community here. Sending big hugs!
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Unread 04-30-2017, 07:33 AM   #68
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Beth I'm checking in to see if you tried to color anything - cut anything? Also I want to thank you for sharing your story. I'm encouraging you to forget those people--- all of this shows their true nature - they were never your true friends.

I'm also encouraging you to make mystery boxes (for SCS) and sell on eBay. May start by listing 2-4 items a week

Slow and steady. Ask yourself - does this stamp make me happy? If answer is no- sell!
have you considered a church that is 30 min or further away ? I think a community is helpful

Sending hugs and well wishes
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Unread 04-30-2017, 11:46 AM   #69
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Beth I'm checking in to see if you tried to color anything - cut anything? Also I want to thank you for sharing your story. I'm encouraging you to forget those people--- all of this shows their true nature - they were never your true friends.

I'm also encouraging you to make mystery boxes (for SCS) and sell on eBay. May start by listing 2-4 items a week

Slow and steady. Ask yourself - does this stamp make me happy? If answer is no- sell!
have you considered a church that is 30 min or further away ? I think a community is helpful

Sending hugs and well wishes

I've had a pretty crazy day. Maybe in a few days I can share it in more details but I did try to go to church this morning, one of my old stamping friends was there (the one who bailed with her Founders Circle friend), I didn't go anywhere NEAR her but she and her husband gave me the most HATEFUL look I have EVER seen. It could have killed me and just about did. I ran out of the church, gasping for air, couldn't possibly drive home and end up collapsing in some grass along the street. A lot of people from that church were leaving and not a one stopped to ask if something was wrong but eventually a total stranger did - sweet young woman with her boyfriend. I asked for some water and she sent her boyfriend to a nearby convenience store to get me some water which helped me breathe better and they brought me home. So my car is still in the parking lot there but I suspect they had it towed to Impound so I need to find out where it is and then somehow walk up to get it. I'm not nearly ready for that yet - my head is pounding but I'm starting to feel better so I will go find it before it gets dark. No one has called (from the church or PD) to find out what's up or where I am or how I am ..... they absolutely do not care. But this young woman - a total stranger - was so kind and gave me her number and told me to call her if I need help. She just sat and held my head in her lap while her boyfriend was going to get me water. God bless those angels. I felt like I was in a re-enactment of the Good Samaritan. - There's another chapter to this that is pretty amazing too .... I will share that after I've had a few days to process it.

If and when I DO stamp, it will be making some generic cards without greetings on them that I can pull and use as needed, and also my brother is asking for some masculine sympathy cards. So those will be the first things I do. I'm really not interested in swapping. I just want to make cards that I can use or that some of my friends are asking for.
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Unread 05-01-2017, 03:32 AM   #70
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Hi Beth, it is examples like this that restore our faith in human nature, and goes back to what I mentioned before about the difference between Christian practices and Christian principles. How awful though, that those who one would expect to hold out a hand to help someone so harshly did not, yet two young strangers- and probably the last people one would expect it from- are the ones to stop and help.
I'd also like to echo what a number of others have said: putting your story on here was an incredibly brave thing to do, especially in light of the treatment you had had from 'friends'.
I keep popping back to see how things are going, as I'm sure all the other ladies do. Never doubt, we will be here for you.
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Unread 05-01-2017, 08:40 AM   #71
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Sending prayers your way. What a crazy situation!!

Just an FYI on the mystery boxes - I don't think those are allowed to be sold here on SCS. Maybe given away? (I only say this because a few years ago I tried to sell some stuff that way on here via mystery boxes and was told by a moderator that isn't allowed.) Just didn't want you to have issues with that.
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Unread 05-01-2017, 04:46 PM   #72
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Your removal of the annoying strapless bra made me laugh so hard!! It's all about comfort!
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Unread 05-01-2017, 04:55 PM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shazsilverwolf View Post
Hi Beth, it is examples like this that restore our faith in human nature, and goes back to what I mentioned before about the difference between Christian practices and Christian principles. How awful though, that those who one would expect to hold out a hand to help someone so harshly did not, yet two young strangers- and probably the last people one would expect it from- are the ones to stop and help.
I'd also like to echo what a number of others have said: putting your story on here was an incredibly brave thing to do, especially in light of the treatment you had had from 'friends'.
I keep popping back to see how things are going, as I'm sure all the other ladies do. Never doubt, we will be here for you.
I'm crying. You've been so kind. I've had a horrible couple of days. I made a poor decision yesterday and people are all over me for it. I deserve it - to a point - but they also don't understand the full situation and why I did what I did. The last straw was from my brother - a few minutes ago. He has strong opinions, a sharp tongue and is very hard on his sister. I just didn't need that tonight. Sigh .... Going for a walk with my corgis. They still love me, thank God.
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Unread 05-01-2017, 06:33 PM   #74
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What a lovely story of the woman and her boyfriend helping you. It restores your faith in people. I have relatives in Minnesota. I think they have the friendliest sounding accent! Everyone there just seems happy to me. They make me smile! Tomorrow, think about it it when you talk with people....the cashier at the grocery store, a friend, the girl who helped you. See if you agree with me, and report back. I bet you have that wonderful accent too!

Did you look for your car today? Maybe you can get an uber to drive you to it. Hopefully it was still at church.
Wishing you a happier tomorrow.
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Unread 05-01-2017, 06:58 PM   #75
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"May the Lord hold you in the palm of his hand"


Can you please send me your address via Private Message?

Prayers....
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Unread 05-02-2017, 03:21 AM   #76
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Oh Beth, I am so sorry for what you have been through. Everyone has great suggestions that are kind and caring. I'm going in a different direction.

Don't let these mean women win.


They wanted to stop you stamping by excluding you from their group and every day you don't make cards they have achieved their objective.


You are better than them. Go make a card in anger. Go on. I dare you.


From one capable woman to another, if you want to talk and borrow some of my strength, pm me and I will send you my phone number.


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(Bowie was a husky so I understand dogs with attitude like Corgis!)
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Unread 05-02-2017, 03:44 AM   #77
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What a lovely story of the woman and her boyfriend helping you. It restores your faith in people. I have relatives in Minnesota. I think they have the friendliest sounding accent! Everyone there just seems happy to me. They make me smile! Tomorrow, think about it it when you talk with people....the cashier at the grocery store, a friend, the girl who helped you. See if you agree with me, and report back. I bet you have that wonderful accent too!

Did you look for your car today? Maybe you can get an uber to drive you to it. Hopefully it was still at church.
Wishing you a happier tomorrow.
We walked back to the church on Sunday pm and the car was still there. The dogs and I needed a good walk anyway.
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Unread 05-02-2017, 03:51 AM   #78
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Oh Beth, I am so sorry for what you have been through. Everyone has great suggestions that are kind and caring. I'm going in a different direction.

Don't let these mean women win.


They wanted to stop you stamping by excluding you from their group and every day you don't make cards they have achieved their objective.


You are better than them. Go make a card in anger. Go on. I dare you.


From one capable woman to another, if you want to talk and borrow some of my strength, pm me and I will send you my phone number.


mum2bowie
(Bowie was a husky so I understand dogs with attitude like Corgis!)
My pain is mixed with plenty of anger, believe me. My doctor just raised my Wellbutrin to 450 mg - the highest allowed dose. That has taken the edge off the depression and given me a bit more energy. As a result, I am working more full days - and that is good. But I am also more angry. I need to channel that in a healthy way and not let it get out of control or turn to bitterness. Bitterness is the biggest danger with anger - at least for me. it eats you from the inside out. I have some of that going on and have to pray daily that it it does not take root. It's hard.

Sometimes I remind myself of some of the people I met in rural villages in Botswana, Africa whose lives were SO hard and yet they were content. Or I think of the strength of the human spirit that somehow allows a person to fight for survival in places like Syria or Haiti or North Korea. And I stop to pray for them - realizing that my pain is NOTHNG compared to theirs. It helps me keep things in perspective.
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Unread 05-02-2017, 04:01 AM   #79
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My pain is mixed with plenty of anger, believe me. My doctor just raised my Wellbutrin to 450 mg - the highest allowed dose. That has taken the edge off the depression and given me a bit more energy. As a result, I am working more full days - and that is good. But I am also more angry. I need to channel that in a healthy way and not let it get out of control or turn to bitterness. Bitterness is the biggest danger with anger - at least for me. it eats you from the inside out. I have some of that going on and have to pray daily that it it does not take root. It's hard.

Sometimes I remind myself of some of the people I met in rural villages in Botswana, Africa whose lives were SO hard and yet they were content. Or I think of the strength of the human spirit that somehow allows a person to fight for survival in places like Syria or Haiti or North Korea. And I stop to pray for them - realizing that my pain is NOTHNG compared to theirs. It helps me keep things in perspective.
Could not agree more on the perspective. Everything in life is a matter of perspective. How you choose to view something changes it completely. I am in NJ so when someone is rude to me I choose to think they are in a genuine hurry or having a really bad day so I am extra polite to them rather than responding in kind. Now I have been nice to a stranger rather than them being rude to me.
Anger is just a tool, bitterness is a problem. Keep the two separate, which it certainly sounds like you are doing. My suggestion is that you can use the extra energy that is anger and put it to constructive use. I am an engineer so I use various tools, I'm in control; the tools do not use me.
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Unread 05-02-2017, 07:45 AM   #80
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Just wondering,Beth- do you have anything like Tai Chi classes, or even a martial arts class, close by. Might be a good way of channelling the anger you feel, and feeling better for it?
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