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Do you have a husband/wife/family that is supportive of your paper-crafting hobby or does your hobby irritate them more than anything else? My husband doesn't understand the point of it and so he doesn't express any support for me with it. I hear all the time about people who have such supportive husbands and I wish so much that mine was too. I hate asking for money to buy things. I'm thinking seriously about just selling all my stuff and giving up on stamping all together. Could really use some advice.
I know what you mean. I'm in the exact same boat as you. My husband thinks it's a waste of time and money and infact will get mad at me if he thinks I've been spending too much time on my cards. He's always telling me that I have enough stuff and and I don't need anymore. When I do buy more (with the money I'm allotted to each week) I have to sneak it into the house even thought it's bought with money that I am ALLOWED to spend each week. It drives me up the wall, but I'm a stay to home mom, and don't go out much, so I need something, whether he likes it or not.
Some of the resistance of mates to buying hobby products may not be only that they don't understand the joy it brings, but rather a change in the attitudes rolling through out society.
We had a decade of "Shop Until You Drop" and "I Want It All" and now that philosophy has taken a 180 degree turn.
During the past two plus years the downturn in the economy had made frugality in fashion.
Shopping had become a form of recreation and it no longer fills that role.
People everywhere are asking "How Much is Enough" not just in hobby products but in everything.
I have a friend who used to go to clothing stores at least twice a week. Recently she said she has not been in a clothing store nor bought any clothes in nearly a year. She said she has two closets full of clothes and doesn't want or need more.
Crafting used to be done by people who took pride in making things from what they had . Maybe that is the new trend .
Maybe our joy will come not from buying new products, but using what we have in new ways.
Do you have a husband/wife/family that is supportive of your paper-crafting hobby or does your hobby irritate them more than anything else? My husband doesn't understand the point of it and so he doesn't express any support for me with it. I hear all the time about people who have such supportive husbands and I wish so much that mine was too. I hate asking for money to buy things. I'm thinking seriously about just selling all my stuff and giving up on stamping all together. Could really use some advice.
**edited because I saw your second comment..
I don't have a perfect marriage (who does?) but even though I am the bread-winner in the family we have an "entertainment" budget which is the FAMILY'S entertainment, not just mine because I make all of the money. Everyone in a household deserves a little "me" time and therefore a little "me" money... My husband just said that if you are asking for money and feel bad about it, go out and get a small job so you can have a little fun money.. How about becoming an SU! demo??
Whatever choices you make/changes you make, DON'T QUIT. I've seen what giving up all of your hobbies because of a husband does to you (my mother) and now she's 55, friendless, hobbyless, joyless, and the saddest person I know...
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Last edited by jazzytobi; 08-07-2010 at 10:30 AM..
My ex was not supportive of my hobbies (notice I said ex). What I realized is that he felt jealous about the time I spent doing my hobbies and jealous about the way it made me feel to accomplish something because he didn't let anything into his life that was positive. My husband now totally understands this. He's a musician and has an artistic soul. Plus his hobby is probably more expensive than mine. He spends it all at once ($6000 for a guitar!). I'm glad you had a discussion with your husband about how it made you feel that he wasn't supportive about your hobbies. I really think that most times, men just don't get it that they need say something verbally for us to know what they're thinking/feeling. I keep telling my husband that I gave up mind reading a long time ago...
Why he does Ironman stuff? Maybe because anyone can cook (something) and anyone can take pictures (of something). But how many husbands do you know who can do Ironman distances? Especially once they get to be a certain age. Not saying you or your husband are old by any means. (If that is him on your blog, he is a hunk)! Just saying that the Ironman is really quite an accomplishment. It won't last forever. Age gets to us all. I would encourage and cheer him on all the way. (Do you feel a little intimidated because men seem to have it much easier than we do when it comes to staying in shape?) I know I'm jealous because my husband has strong firm arms and can wear short sleeves and mine are flabby, lol.
I agree with what you said. Compromise is the key to a happy marriage. Even more so, compromise with a smile will take you a long way.
Oh, I am VERY supportive of his craziness, and blogged all about it last September. But watching so many finishers stagger across the line and straight into the medical tent leads one to wonder WHY!?!?!
But then, much the same can be said of stamping. WHY?!?!?!? do I have tons of stamps....so many that storage becomes a huge issue and my inventory takes up three 3-ring binders.
Hmmmm. Perhaps we're all a little crazy and just need to be tolerant of other's unique craziness!
My dear, sweet, hairy husband is very supportive of my stamping/ scrapping. That doesn't mean that he "gets it", however. He smiles and nods when I show him my cards and asks for one when he needs to send one for a birthday, anniversary, what have you. But he doesn't fall all over himself pretending like he understands that the newest Ketto stamp is gorgeous or that the color renovation from SU was a big deal. He just let's me be happy in my world.
I'm the one that recently modified my crafting budget because, frankly, I *was* spending too much. I've never taken money from the household to buy because i'm a demo and use that income to buy what I want. But when I realized how much I was actually spending, I gave my head a shake and cut back.
Talk to your husband, for sure. But maybe you should look at how much you're spending and see if that's what's stuck in his craw? I hope you guys can get it worked out. Good luck!
But watching so many finishers stagger across the line and straight into the medical tent leads one to wonder WHY!?!?!
. . . . . .
Hmmmm. Perhaps we're all a little crazy and just need to be tolerant of other's unique craziness!
But imagine how incredible it must feel to finish something like that - where you've trained for so long and where so many aren't able to finish! (Not that I'd really know - the sum of my athletic ambitions is to manage to walk out to the mailbox and snag my latest stamping order without spraining an ankle on the way.)
Back to the OP - I thought my husband was only tolerant of my crafting - after we had a conversation about it, turns out he thinks it's a fabulous thing! But what he is not so crazy about is that I have stuff in the living room, stuff in the basement and he's concerned that I might not even know what I have and that it seems wasteful to keep buying more when it doesn't seem like I use what I have. Actually, I do use what I have; it's just that there's so darn much of it that I don't seem to make a dent in it. It doesn't help, either, that I'm a tool junkie.
He knows that I don't have nearly the amount of stuff that some do! I have a few shelves in the laundry room and that's all. I'm also good at keeping it all picked up and put away when I'm not using it. I do clean stuff out and get rid of things I'm not using either. I am a SAHM and we only have one income. I know he would like for me to figure out a way to earn some decent money. I used to be a demo and it just didn't work out. I was having to spend money just to make quota each quarter. My youngest son does not meet the kindergartner cut off date, so he will have to have another year of Pre-k so it will be another year before I'm able to work full time again. I do intend to work on getting my TX teaching certificate and applying for a teaching job next year. I think if he knew I was working he'd be more tolerant of my hobby. I know he's not ever going to be enthusiastic about it and that's ok... More later!!
He knows that I don't have nearly the amount of stuff that some do! I have a few shelves in the laundry room and that's all. I'm also good at keeping it all picked up and put away when I'm not using it. I do clean stuff out and get rid of things I'm not using either. I am a SAHM and we only have one income. I know he would like for me to figure out a way to earn some decent money. I used to be a demo and it just didn't work out. I was having to spend money just to make quota each quarter. My youngest son does not meet the kindergartner cut off date, so he will have to have another year of Pre-k so it will be another year before I'm able to work full time again. I do intend to work on getting my TX teaching certificate and applying for a teaching job next year. I think if he knew I was working he'd be more tolerant of my hobby. I know he's not ever going to be enthusiastic about it and that's ok... More later!!
One thing you do have, is a lot of wonderful ladies in here sending you good thoughts and well wishes. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I think you are going to see a change in him as soon as the wind changes and all this positive energy makes it to him.
Good Luck in everything you are doing for yourself and your family.
I am so lucky ;)! My hubby his his own expensive hobbies ie. flys his own airplane, revamps old vw's......I can happily work away while he is down in his shop!
While I can't say he is 100% supportive (I show him a card - he says "nice honey - what's for supper?!") he certainly doesn't question my card making - I am lucky.....
I have a great stamp room which is starting to fall over into two other rooms..lol. My hubby is supportive as I said a bit earlier....but I keep telling him wait til he sees my sweet friend Carols room. Her stamp room is bigger than the whole first floor of my house! My sis went to visit her with me and after her hubby saw the pictures of the room and all the awesome stuff she has, he said he will never complain about what she has in her room or the fact that she has a room...lol. Cant wait til my hubby goes with me to visit her the next time so he too can see her room...blessings.
I live alone so I don't answer to anyone but myself, but I keep my purchases in check. I have seen some of the elaborate rooms many people have. I enjoy seeing them and I am sure the people love working in them.
However, even though I would like to have a dedicated stamping area so it was not in my dinning room, I would not want that much stuff. I wouldn't know what to choose and would end up with " analysis paralysis"
I would spend all of my time either organizing or trying to decide what to use.
Sometimes limits are a blessing.
I am a tool junkie too. I spent all weekend this past weekend organizing my space so that I can better utilize all of my supplies. I have spent way too much money I stuff I "had" to have but have never used. I think I need to have a crafter's sale or something!
I have enjoyed reading all of the opinions and advice in this thread.
To the OP....Please do not give up your hobby...no matter what (and I see you have made that decision. I hope you stick with it!)
When I first moved to the very small community I live in now, and finished work to have and raise my children (who are now 22 and 20), my husband blandly told me he was NOT my entertainment officer and to find myself something to do.
IT IS ALL HIS FAULT!
He is and he isn't supportive.
***He thinks I have way too much ...care factor...zero.
***He thinks I do not need to buy anything else....care factor .....zero.
***He has no hobbies...care factor...heaps...I reckon the debate would go a lot easier if there was a target on the other side!
***He does realise I need something to occupy my time...care factor...oh thank heavens!
***He has been known to show off some of the stuff I have made...especially the moveable cards which he enjoys....care factor...now that's sweet
***He thinks my stamping room now looks pretty cool...but secretly hopes no more furniture will appear....care factor...tba!
I just came home from a stamp camp...which he did not want me to go to (but I did get around him...lol!)....I wanted to show him all the great stuff I made. He did not want to see them. I am a stay at home wife...the kidlets now live away from home...but I am not into this being "allowed" to buy, have, go somewhere....thing. This is not a dictatorship. Rather, a partnership. I really feel for those ladies who have to ask can they get something. It hurts my soul to read stuff like that. Ladies! We are NOT second class citizens!!!!
In my home, the money is "ours", as it should be!
In the end, all women should have something they enjoy doing and find time to actually indulge in that. I find a lot of women sacrifice in order that the rest of the family are happy. In the end, this does not work so well...as cited in some of the sad stories above.
We need to look after ourselves too and to keep the hobby you love is a great first step!
Michelle
Last edited by shellpole; 08-09-2010 at 05:54 PM..
