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View Poll Results: Did you pay for your own bridesmaid dress?
Yes, I always paid for my own bridesmaid dress in other weddings. 109 84.50%
No, when I was a bridesmaid, the bride/groom paid for it. 5 3.88%
In some weddings I paid, in others they paid. 15 11.63%
Voters: 129. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-15-2006, 05:59 PM   #1
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Default Who pays for wedding party clothes?

Reading Granny's post about the wedding dress for her dd's wedding, some of you asked if we had to buy our own clothes if we were in the wedding party.

My question (should I make it a poll?) is:

Did you buy your own dress if you were a bridesmaid, and where do you live?
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Old 06-15-2006, 06:03 PM   #2
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I have always had it the person in the wedding pays for their own dress/tux rental. We paid for one of the tuxes in our wedding party cause we really wanted that person in our wedding and we knew he was short on cash and my dorky hubby picked like a $200 tux (OUCH!) so we offered to cover it for that one as an exception to what we thought was "rule"
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Old 06-15-2006, 06:04 PM   #3
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I live in Texas and it is traditional (at least in the 6, or was it 7?) weddings I was in to pay for our own dress, shoes, etc. I sew, and was able to make some of the dresses. For my wedding, we used a pattern that matched my dress (I made my dress) and picked up the fabric, but they paid for it. It was a floral print & very "80's" style. Quite lovely at the time! My dh always paid for his own tuxes he rented for weddings. (Except maybe the last one he was in. We were dirt broke & his friend must have paid for that one).

My MIL made the dress for my girls to be flower girls in my nephew's wedding. She paid for the fabric. The bride did buy the shoes for the girls.
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Old 06-16-2006, 04:17 AM   #4
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For our wedding I was aware of the cost of dresses so I contacted a dressmaker and got a price for making the dresses and then found the fabric on sale so that each woman only had to pay $100 for the dress (this included teh fabric & making of it). For the flower girls I bought the material and each Grandma paid the dressmaker. So the bridesmaids did have to pay for their own but I did all the leg work and tried to make it as inexpensive as I could. And the bridesmaids wore small hats with veils that I made. And I made sure I designed the dresses so that they could wear regular bras with no chance of straps showing.

My DD was a flower girl several years ago. I had to make her dress. The bride purchased the fabric & pattern but I had to reimburse her--right down to the exact penny. Which is fine but she didn't even try and find a deal on the fabric. So I not only paid for it but had to make it too.

Everyone else I know that has been in a wedding has had to pay for their own clothing.
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Old 06-16-2006, 04:50 AM   #5
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I've always paid for my wedding party dresses, for weddings I've been in all over - Ohio, Kentucky, California.... A couple of times, they were made, but I had to pay for the material. The bride let us find our own deal - just told us the pattern to use and the exact brand and color of material. Shoes weren't a big deal, but usually the brides requested that we dye them to match.

Traditionally, the bridesmaid gift I've received at the rehearsal dinner has been the jewelry to wear at the wedding, so even the wedding party's accessories were coordinated...
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Old 06-16-2006, 04:57 AM   #6
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I've always paid for my dresses, but my mother made the dresses for my wedding - mine, hers, and my only bridesmaid's.
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Old 06-16-2006, 05:00 AM   #7
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We have paid for all of our own dresses/tuxes in the weddings we've been in. We did not pay for our attendants...they paid for their own. Our attendants dresses were made (I had four bridesmaids...my two sisters and two friends), so they were cheaper, but our groomsmen paid for their own tuxes.

It is customary here for everyone to pay for their own and the bride usually gives jewelry to be worn at the wedding as a gift to bridesmaids.

I have never heard of people buying attire for the entire wedding party.
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Old 06-16-2006, 05:07 AM   #8
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I have always paid for the dresses I wore in the weddings that I was in. When I got married my bridesmaids paid for there on too. I have never heard of it any other way. But I guess it is different in other places
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Old 06-16-2006, 05:29 AM   #9
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I have always paid for the dresses for the bridal parties I have been in (including the one coming up this August ) I live in SE NY, and even as a child, I remember my mom paying for dresses when she was in a wedding...
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Old 06-16-2006, 05:37 AM   #10
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I have been in 3 weddings. In two of the three, I paid for my own dress. In my SIL's wedding, I paid for my own, but then my SIL reimbursed me for my dress and my DH's tux. It was my in-laws' money, and they wanted to pay for our wedding clothing for that wedding. I am in TX and all weddings referenced have been in TX - two in Houston and one in San Marcos.

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Old 06-16-2006, 05:38 AM   #11
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I always paid for my own dress when I was in a wedding. The only exception was my aunt paid for my sister's & my dress when we were in our cousin's wedding, but she was just being nice-everyone else paid for theirs.
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Old 06-16-2006, 05:54 AM   #12
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I've only been in one wedding -- as my late aunt's flower girl! No clue who paid for the dress, although a relative made it.

It's customary for the wedding party to pay for their own clothes to be worn in the ceremony. That's why there's always such a fuss in the advice columns this time of year over what the bridesmaids' dresses cost and what they look like, LOL!
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Old 06-16-2006, 06:02 AM   #13
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In the weddings I have been in I've paid for the dress, shoes, manicure, updo etc. The bride gave us the jewelry as a bridesmaid give that she wanted us to wear so it all matched.

In my wedding, my bridesmaids paid for their own (actually my mom paid for my SIL's dress because she was nice like that) and my mom made the Flower girl dress.

All the men paid for their own tuxedos.

All these have been in Texas too!
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Old 06-16-2006, 06:10 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicksmom917
In the weddings I have been in I've paid for the dress, shoes, manicure, updo etc. The bride gave us the jewelry as a bridesmaid give that she wanted us to wear so it all matched.


All the men paid for their own tuxedos.
Same here and I'm in Alabama
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Old 06-16-2006, 06:11 AM   #15
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I've been a bridesmaid 6 times. I know it can get expensive. I've had to pay for almost all of my dresses, plus hair, make-up, and sometimes shoes if they wanted it matching.

For my wedding, I forked out the cash to pay for my bridesmaids. They were already spending enough for the cruise, I figured it was the least I could do!
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Old 06-16-2006, 06:12 AM   #16
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When I got married in 1997, my bridesmaids paid for their dresses and shoes. And our mothers bought their dresses. We paid for their jewlery as a gift for being in our wedding. DH and I paid for everything else ourselves. My dad bought my dress and paid for catering. But we went REALLY cheap!
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Old 06-16-2006, 07:00 AM   #17
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Every wedding I (or family memebers) have been in, we've paid for our own dresses. The Bride usually give the jewelry so it all matches. All these weddings were in PA.

I only had 1 bridesmaid and since I made my dress and DH shirt (Traditional Native American wedding) I also made her dress, so it would match mine. It was an exact copy of mine, but in rose rather than white. So I guess, I paid for her dress
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Old 06-16-2006, 07:37 AM   #18
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For one SIL's wedding, another SIL made all the bridesmaids dresses, we paid for the fabric. Somehow, I ended up with two of those dresses in my closet. Thinking I would make doll clothes for my DD someday, I kept storing them. The bodice was green velvet, the skirt was white satin. When it came time for DD to make her first communion, I could not find a dress for her (she's freakishly tall) so I took those two bridesmaids dresses to a woman who made her a lovely white communion dress and charged me $20. Finally a bridesmaids dress that can be used again!

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Old 06-16-2006, 11:13 AM   #19
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I have usually paid for my own dress when I have been a bridesmaid, which is the custom here, too. However, I paid for the dresses of my own bridesmaids in both my weddings (4 the 1st time and just 1 the second). I just never felt right about someone else having to incur a big expense just because I decided to get married. It doesn't seem right to me still, to ask them to fork out all that money and still have a wedding gift to buy. Its a really irks me when brides have no respect for the money that their wedding party has to shell out and insists on very expensive dresses and specific shoes etc. I don't think anyone should have to pay alot of money for a dress they never chose and will never wear again. But, that's the way it is.
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Old 06-16-2006, 11:20 AM   #20
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For my first wedding, I bought the material and my mom made the dresses for the three bridesmaids. I figured they were all traveling a long way to be in my wedding and shouldn't have to spend more money on a dress. For my second wedding, we didn't have any attendants so there was no expense.
I was a bridesmaid in my college roommate's wedding in 1997 and between the dress, shoes, and getting my hair and nails done it was about $250.
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Old 06-16-2006, 11:24 AM   #21
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In 1992 I was a bridesmaid for a friend I had met that year in university (Edmonton, Canada). When the bride asked me to stand up for her she immediately said that she would pay for my dress. She knew I was a poor student.

She had a whole whack of sisters, but she couldn't ask them to be her bridesmaids because they were of a very conservative faith and she was getting married in a church outside of that denomination.

Her whole family came out for the wedding though and her sisters were just a hoot!! Just because you're conservative doesn't mean you're not fun! Best time I've ever had at a wedding.
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Old 06-16-2006, 06:10 PM   #22
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First wedding I was in: (OH) I paid for the dress and specific shoes, the bride paid for jewelry and hair.

Second wedding: (also OH) I paid for the dress, the bride just specified a color for shoes (I bought and wore for other weddings), bride paid for jewelry, I had a friend do my hair.

Third wedding: (MI) My mom bought my dress for my brother's wedding, wore shoes I already had, bride bought jewelry, friend did my hair.

My wedding: (OH) Everyone paid for their dresses, non-specific shoes, I paid for jewelry and hair.

Next wedding: (FL) My mom is again buying my dress for my sister's wedding, sister is paying for jewelry and hair.
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Old 06-16-2006, 06:42 PM   #23
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I was in three wedding right out of high school(in the dark ages)and each time our dresses,shoes and accessories were paid for by the bride's family.

I haven't heard of this tradition being followed in forever even here in the South
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Old 06-17-2006, 04:50 AM   #24
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I was never a bridesmaid, only a bride.

In our wedding, the bridesmaid's dresses were sewn by the bridesmaids or a member of their family that could sew. I took them all to the fabric store and they picked out the pattern, since they were the ones that had to wear it. I retained right of refusal on anything that I didn't like, but it wasn't hard to find something we could all agree on. They paid for their own dress and shoes...but it wasn't outrageous. I made my own dress and veil and it cost all of $60.

I paid for the flower girls dress, though...my mom made that one (it was my niece.)
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Old 06-17-2006, 05:10 AM   #25
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When I got married, I purchased the fabric but the bridesmaids all made their own dresses (or found someone to make them for them).

I have been a bridesmaid in only two weddings. In one, the bride bought the fabric and my mother made the dress. In the other, I bought the dress. The bride did find the dresses at an outlet store, though, so it only cost me $27.
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