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Old 06-27-2008, 06:01 PM   #1
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Default Funny things you say instead of using "swear" words

I think I've done this before on here. My DD is turing 3 soon and she is a complete parrot. I can't tell you what she repeated today!

So what do you say when you want to really say $%&*#@!
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Old 06-27-2008, 06:10 PM   #2
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oh fudge! lol hubby catches me saying "oh, effin A!" so i cuss... at least it's not the real words!
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Old 06-27-2008, 06:16 PM   #3
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Flippin around my daughter and fack online.
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Old 06-27-2008, 06:17 PM   #4
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When my daughter isn't around, I have horrible language. The F bomb is more like a firecracker around me!
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Old 06-27-2008, 07:34 PM   #5
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Are there other words?

I'm a total F-bomb "lady" here! LOL Actually, I find that I'm swearing less these days, and I'm not sure why. I'm not making any sort of effort to curb it. I work in a high school, so I completely curb it during the day when students are around.

I do say something like... "You've got to be effing kidding me" if I can't actually use the f-bomb word.
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Old 06-27-2008, 08:59 PM   #6
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I say freakin or flippin, sometimes a "freakin fudge nuggets!" when I'm really mad.
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Old 06-27-2008, 09:18 PM   #7
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Fudge is a big one oh and
Sugar Honey Iced Tea.... take the 1st letter of each word... LoL
Jeez louise
freakin A
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:09 AM   #8
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I almost always have kids around, so I usually make something up like "OH TURKEYlegs!"

My DD made one up a few years ago that I often use (she was prolly 5 at the time and frustrated over something herself) "Oh, picklesnap!"

Her friend (my friend's DD) has been known to say "oh barnacles!"
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Old 06-28-2008, 04:09 AM   #9
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THIS IS GREAT!

I'll most DEFINATELY be using them! I constantly have kids around and also have a terrible potty mouth!
You guys have SUCH great ideas!!!

KEEP 'EM COMING!
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:57 AM   #10
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I usually use "Freakin" and I have heard this repeated by my DS. I also try to use "ahh...Pickle Juice". He thinks its funny and its something he can repeat!
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:59 AM   #11
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Because I work where the public can hear what I say, I usually say "NOODLES" or "NUTS". I started doing that when my niece was starting to "parrot" and it's stuck with me.
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:13 AM   #12
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Whenever I'm driving, I call people "donkey" (instead of jack a**). I usually have two kids in the backseat, otherwise I would probably sound like a sailor.

There's also the slam your finger in the door and kids around, "son of a motherless goat" (instead of s-o-b).

My kids look at me funny when I yell out "mother-father" (instead of mother f***er), they have no idea what I'm talking about.
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Old 06-28-2008, 09:29 AM   #13
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I'm 37 but my Mamabeck tells us that we should say Frankfurter instead of F***. Not that I use that word much anyways but...........it's funny when you put it together with other words like fargin frankfurter.........mother frankfurter........that's frankfurting funny. We'll do it it just to tease with her sometimes.
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Old 06-28-2008, 10:17 AM   #14
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From the movie Johnny Dangerously: fargin ice hole, bastiges

Instead of the "B" word, I sometimes say "She's such a biscuit eater!"
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Old 06-28-2008, 12:58 PM   #15
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I usually cuss in French if I feel that I shouldn't use the English bad words. Oh! But I guess I wouldn't use the French bad words either, in front of a "parroting" child!!!

I guess, twice a year when I actually am with my sister's kids, I use "gosh darn it".
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:37 PM   #16
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I say: Son of a biscuit eater, oh shoot a pig, and freakazoid as i work retail with public - sometimes I slip if I am really mad or get hurt.
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Old 06-28-2008, 03:55 PM   #17
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When I was marching in drum corps, we all cussed like dock workers. When we were around the general public, however, we had to clean it up. 'Friendly' became the substitute for...well, you know.

As in, "Mother Friendly", or "Friendly Off", etc.
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Old 06-28-2008, 07:16 PM   #18
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My common ones are:

" Slug in a ditch! " (my husband says " Some in a bunch! ")
" Crap on a stick! "
" Son of a mother! "
" Freakin' "
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Old 06-28-2008, 07:29 PM   #19
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These are super-fabulous!

I sometimes say "oh varment" when I'm annoyed. Other ones are stinky winky, shuz-bat(from Mork and Mindy), fart balm, foogie woogie, piddly widdly woo, scookie dookie.

Can you tell I have REAL little ones around?
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Old 06-29-2008, 06:44 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLaFontaine View Post
I usually cuss in French if I feel that I shouldn't use the English bad words. Oh! But I guess I wouldn't use the French bad words either, in front of a "parroting" child!!!

I guess, twice a year when I actually am with my sister's kids, I use "gosh darn it".
So...uh...I wanna know some French cuss words!! That way I can sound like a "sophisticated" sailor, rather than just a plain ol swearing gal!!!
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Old 06-29-2008, 06:50 AM   #21
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my mom loves to call people Jit...as in Idiot but with a country twang......
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Old 06-29-2008, 11:35 AM   #22
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my current fave is "what the french, toast?" instead of ***.
I say "biscuits" a lot too.
and oh snap...
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Old 06-29-2008, 11:51 AM   #23
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My mom always says "oh! bugs!"
I curse like a sailor, but am also a day camp director in the summer... so I just try not to say annnnything. )
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Old 06-29-2008, 02:41 PM   #24
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Have you all ever seen those Orbits gum commercials and listened closely? They crack me up!! The people never curse but you know what they mean (wink) (wink). From them I've garnered,

What the french toast!
No Shipwreck Moby Dick
Son of a Pitchfork
Why that feather plucking....
Gosh dilly!!

Oh yes, it always gets me a weird look, but I needed to lay off of the bad language.
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Old 06-29-2008, 09:32 PM   #25
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My mom used to say, and I picked it up from her...

God Bless America!!!!

Unfortunately my boys have always known what I really mean but maybe if you start early with it?! LOL!
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Old 06-29-2008, 11:23 PM   #26
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These are funny!!!

I tend to cycle as far as usage of the swearing. Sometimes it's bad and other times less so. My kids today caught me dropping the "f-bomb" at the beach...and I heard about it all the way home (MOMMY!!! YOU SAID A BAD WORD!!!!) Ugh. Normally I will start to say it...FFFFFFFF and end iwth a huff instead of hte word itself. Like a FFFFFFFAH

As for other words, well, I often just say them under my breath and they don't pick up on them. However i say heck and hell lots..and my kid started to repeat that much to my mother's horror. She figured he'd picked it up at school...I haven't actually set her straight!!! I keep a pretty tight rein on my mouth around her (she'll still paddle my rear if I say the wrong thing in front of her!!!!).
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Old 06-30-2008, 03:13 AM   #27
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Charlie Foxtrot

stands for cluster f***
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Old 06-30-2008, 03:47 AM   #28
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Hubby calls people Bar Stewards instead of the other one.

Rachel
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Old 06-30-2008, 04:07 AM   #29
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I've always told my kids - there are hundres of other options in the dictionary...... that being said here's a couple of my, well, favorites!

Fudge monkeys or fudge monkeys on a stick (don't go visual on that one! It's not pretty! LOL!)
Frickin A
Gosh darn it

Like Sophie said they could use bad words in other languages but, since I know what they're saying they don't say it in front of me! Here's a German one for you

"Scheissa" or if you don't like the person "Scheissa kopf" I'm sure you can figure out what we're saying though! LOL!
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Old 06-30-2008, 05:01 AM   #30
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Oh shizzle!
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Old 06-30-2008, 05:36 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2kjs View Post
My mom used to say, and I picked it up from her...

God Bless America!!!!

Unfortunately my boys have always known what I really mean but maybe if you start early with it?! LOL!
My mother said that, too!

Unfortunately, when I'm scared or hurt, I tend to use the "real" S word, especially when I'm driving and someone cuts me off, etc. And I've heard my 5YO say it a few times. I need to find an alternative.

A friend from college used to say "flock" instead of the f-bomb and I always liked that.

Sometimes if I'm thinking about it and I'm in front of my kids, I'll say something like "poo-diddle". Don't have any idea where that came from, though.

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Old 06-30-2008, 06:38 AM   #32
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Too funny! I use 'fargin' instead of the F-word, inspired by the movie Johnny Dangerously. One of the italian immigrants had a very strong accent and pronounced it that way.
I also say ****e, instead of s**t, I think they say it that way in the UK, and it just sounds a while lot nicer to me!!
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Old 06-30-2008, 10:49 AM   #33
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My husband and his brother say Puppin'
My grandmother says dumbit
My friends mil says "oh, cramps!" because that is the worst thing she can think of.
My daughter say tartar sauce (spongebob)
My children always say "what the...." I know they want to say the whole thing and this drives me crazy.
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Old 06-30-2008, 01:11 PM   #34
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shiitake mushrooms is heard around our office alot these days..........
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Old 06-30-2008, 04:53 PM   #35
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I just remembered another one I like to use, and my kids always look at me funny when I do-
What in the wild wild world of sports ...is that, ...are you talking about, ...is going on,... did you do to your hair? ( you get the picture).
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Old 06-30-2008, 08:12 PM   #36
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I spell it out the actual cuss word, like this Oh holy F***ing S*** I say the 'ing' instead of spelling it. I know, weird!
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Old 07-01-2008, 05:16 PM   #37
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I just say Shoot a lot of the time.

But the funny thing is that we were in Target the other day and my 5 year old, out of no where exclaimed "Holy Shoes, we forgot __________" I don't even remember what we forgot. At first I thought he said something completely different.
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Old 07-03-2008, 02:48 AM   #38
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I will say 'fart buttons!" Mt kids pick up a lot from school .....which a lot I do not event think about using...I really do not use cuss words....well when the x ticks me off...I tend to slip a little....Taishea
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Old 07-03-2008, 02:55 AM   #39
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Let's see...oh sugar, ah pickles but my favorite (and it usually gets a giggle from my 4 year old) Poop on a stick!
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Old 07-03-2008, 02:56 AM   #40
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Quote:
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I will say 'fart buttons!" Mt kids pick up a lot from school .....which a lot I do not event think about using...I really do not use cuss words....well when the x ticks me off...I tend to slip a little....Taishea
Fart Buttons...I like that one
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