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Old 06-01-2011, 05:09 PM   #201
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Well, I called the lawyer today. It was a long painful weekend but can't stand his attitude (or lack of expression/participation/rudeness to the kids) anymore. He has his co-worker/therapist/emotional connection looking for apts/rental homes for him... another thing he can't do for himself.

Just looking for less sad days ahead... hoping everyone else is doing well.
Laurie, A big step done. I know it doesn't feel good right now. But you are doing what you need to. That is huge.
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Old 06-02-2011, 01:15 PM   #202
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Good for you Laurie! That is taking control of your life again! Baby steps.
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:03 PM   #203
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I have a headache from crying so much today.
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:20 PM   #204
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I have a headache from crying so much today.
You are grieving hun. I know it hurts to the core of your being. Know we are here and if you have spiritual beliefs....hang on to them. This is not fair. If you want to PM please do.

Get some nice smelling bath stuff. Take a lovely bath, ...maybe tomorrow get something to relax from your Dr? Let him/her know what you are going through. Be honest with them, your health is extremely important.
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:44 PM   #205
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I have just noticed we have 200 posts and 3300 views. Do you ladies want to do a private yahoo group? I know this is possible...not sure exactly how...but can figure it out.

Please let me know.
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Old 06-02-2011, 05:37 PM   #206
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I never noticed in the past that we had so many viewing.
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Old 06-03-2011, 07:52 PM   #207
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I have just noticed we have 200 posts and 3300 views. Do you ladies want to do a private yahoo group? I know this is possible...not sure exactly how...but can figure it out.

Please let me know.
I don't keep up with the yahoo groups I'm already in. lol

I know I'm responsible for some of those views. I don't always post, but I do check in because I want to know how the ladies in this thread are doing. I think a yahoo group would be good for those who to share more personal details of their situations, but are skittish because of the public nature of the forums. On the other hand, I hope this thread sticks around. If some of those views are people who are dealing with a divorce or thinking about a divorce, I like the thought that they can read what others have posted and know they aren't alone, even if they don't want to post at this time.
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Old 06-03-2011, 08:57 PM   #208
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Ha! I just received three boxes of stuff that my ex had of mine. I had no idea what I would find inside of them. I had completely shut off contact with him. He strung me along for six months following our divorce being finalized, promising to return a book he had of mine and close a joint account (I know I've mentioned that situation earlier - I ended up having to get my lawyer involved in order to get that resolved). The book was returned due to a clever friend deciding to ask him to let her get it for me. She predicted that he would be embarrassed to say no to her because of how petty he would look. She was right and was able to get it back without any trouble. Once I got my book back, I told him that if he had anything else of mine that he decided to return at any point in the future, he should give it to a mutual friend and the friend would return it to me. At that point, there was no more need for me to contact him, so I have been happily enjoying my ex-free life.

I don't know what he got out of refusing to return that book or close the account. I suspect it gave him a sense of control. In any case, for six months, he didn't return a single thing he had of mine. Now that he no longer hears from me, he's no longer getting anything out of hanging onto my stuff, so returned it.

Without further ado, here is an overview of what he returned:
  1. The Good
    • A cat toy that the kitty in my avatar is particularly fond of.
    • A Halloween decoration that I had forgotten.
    • A notebook I had forgotten.
    • A cat food plate that is part of a plate/water bowl set. I thought the plate had just gotten lost. The kitties don't seem to mind having a mismatched set, but I'm happy to get it back.
    • Paperwork about my engagement ring. This was a nice gesture; he figured I should have the diamond certification and the appraisal if I wanted to get the ring insured. I sold the ring in December, but he doesn't know that and so I figured I should give him credit for trying to be nice about that.
  2. The Bizarre
    • Coffee. I really like coffee and he doesn't drink it. However, we were separated for two years and have been divorced for six months. I'm not going to use the coffee that I had left there when we separated.
    • Granola bars and other bars. He found these things in the back of a cabinet somewhere. They had been pushed to the back long before I moved out. We had been having trouble for quite awhile and so some of the normal stuff like cleaning out the cabinets had gone undone for awhile before I left. In any case, some of these had an expiration date back in 2006. Yeah, thanks for taking the time to box those up. He also sent along some half-used bath products.
    • Mail. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to get the Christmas cards that he enclosed. It would have been nice had he passed them on before June, but whatever. lol
    • A removable shelf from a shower. It's just the standard sort of thing that you'd buy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. He had clearly left it in his shower for awhile after I left because it was disgustingly dirty. It went straight into the trash.
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:38 AM   #209
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I don't keep up with the yahoo groups I'm already in. lol

I know I'm responsible for some of those views. I don't always post, but I do check in because I want to know how the ladies in this thread are doing. I think a yahoo group would be good for those who to share more personal details of their situations, but are skittish because of the public nature of the forums. On the other hand, I hope this thread sticks around. If some of those views are people who are dealing with a divorce or thinking about a divorce, I like the thought that they can read what others have posted and know they aren't alone, even if they don't want to post at this time.
Ok good. Thanks for the input. I think of it the way you have described also, hoping it is helping someone. I agree those yahoo groups are hard to keep up with...I prefer to leave things as they are. And we can always PM. Thank you for responding!!
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:45 AM   #210
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Christine~

I have so enjoyed your post! I think it is hysterically funny how you listed each item! I think you are right...it was giving him a sense of control initially. Now no need for that. In fact he now probably feels petty for feeling that way to begin with...thus, expired granola bars, half used bath products and your shower shelf, etc have come your way! I am happy he returned kitty toy and dish!

What a guy!

I should try to sell some jewelry and other items that have negative meaning to me. It would help my bank account. Did you go through a jeweler?

Thanks for your post. It made my day!!
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Old 06-04-2011, 07:34 AM   #211
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Glad you were amused! That obviously isn't the full list, but it is an overview of the situation. I have no idea why he sent groceries several years past their expiration date, but I laughed when I saw it and had to share.

As for selling the ring, I had one jeweler recommended to me. I went in to his store, but he would only pay for the gold, not the diamond. I sold him a plain gold band I had for somewhere around $30. He recommended selling the engagement ring privately, but also gave me the name of another jeweler. If I'm remembering correctly, it was a larger chain and they offered me something along the lines of 19% of what the ring originally cost my ex. So, it wasn't a great deal or anything, but I wanted to be rid of the ring and preferred to have a bit of cash. From what I've read, you shouldn't expect to get more than 30-50% of what was originally paid for an engagement ring.

I accompanied another friend when she decided to sell her ring. She had a different experience. They had bought her engagement ring from a very service-oriented jeweler and he offered to put in on display at his shop for consignment and he wasn't even going to take a commission on it if it sold! He suggested a price that was two or three times as much as the place where I sold my ring was willing to give her, so she decided to go that direction. The last I heard, it hadn't sold yet, but that's always a possibility with consignment.

When she was considering her options, some jewelers gave her some advice if she decided to sell it privately. In case that's something that anyone is considering, I'll pass on what I remember about it. They suggested that she start a new email address for all the spam she'd receive through craigslist. They also suggested that she put a male name on the email account. That is for safety reasons; criminals are more likely to try to prey on women. They also suggested that if she agreed to meet with someone to show them the ring that they meet at a jewelery store. That's for the protection of both parties. A legitimately interested party would obviously want confirmation that it was a real diamond (and could pay for an appraisal, if so desired) and she would be at a nice public location. She was told to get a cell phone number of anyone who wanted to meet with her so that she could confirm that they were meeting her on the day of the planned meeting. That's all I can remember at the moment, but I'm sure more was said.
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Old 06-04-2011, 08:05 AM   #212
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I am a lurker.... however, I've read this thread for many years. I'm an older woman and I went through a bad divorce many years ago. I only wish I'd had someone like all of you to look to for help and advice. It took me a long time to move on also. I couldn't believe how much I ended up hating someone I had loved so dearly. I got married for a second time, had a baby (when my other girls were 12 and 16) and we moved to WA state. Five weeks after moving here he was killed in an accident. I survived and for the past 30 years have been married to a wonderful man.... the love of my life. (Remember I said I was older) Since I've read this for so long I feel like I know all of you well, hope the best for all of you and love reading about you growing stronger.
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Old 06-04-2011, 12:39 PM   #213
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Kate, so happy you posted! I am sorry you had such a rough time of it, but it sounds like you are very happy now! It is good to hear this...it encourages...

Christine...yes, I loved the list. I suspected you selected the more humorous things he returned! Love your style! Thank you for the info on jewelry. Even a bit of money is better than things laying around here that have negative energy. Will try a jewelry store or two....see how far I get, then maybe? try Craig's List....
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Old 06-04-2011, 05:23 PM   #214
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I saved my wedding set from my first marriage for my son. When he and his wife got engaged, he used that set. It was about 30 years old, and when he took it to the jewerler to be cleaned, they offered him what his Dad had paid for it new. Of course, he refused, he considers it a family heirloom now.

I sold my engagement ring from my second marriage to a friend, she wanted it for a new set she was having made.... so I had it appraised and she paid me half of what it was appraised for.

Isn't it funny how they have to have some kind of control of us, even after the divorce is final. My first husband was still trying to tell me what to do, (in regards to the kids). I told him that I was not responsible for his relationship with the kids, and what happened in his home was none of my business. He didn't like it much , well.... that was too darn bad... LOL

There truely is life after divorce. It took me 2 divorces and 48 years to realize that I didn't need to settle. I deserve to be treated well. ALL of you deserve it too.... it will come, just be open to receiving the blessings you deserve.
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Old 06-04-2011, 09:45 PM   #215
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Scrappingramma, it's good to know there is life after divorce. Because it sure doesn't feel like it from this end. Been married over 19 years. Our relationship has been wavering on rocky for quite some time, but it took an unexpected turn a few weeks ago and we are going downhill way too fast, everyday is a new heartache. I can't see any hope for us together and even less hope for me alone. At this point, I can't imagine the tremendous tenacity one must have to go through with divorce. I'm utterly lost... I hope it's okay to linger awhile reading through this entire thread. It might give me a better perspective on the journey I am being thrust into.
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Old 06-05-2011, 03:54 AM   #216
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Scrappingramma, it's good to know there is life after divorce. Because it sure doesn't feel like it from this end. Been married over 19 years. Our relationship has been wavering on rocky for quite some time, but it took an unexpected turn a few weeks ago and we are going downhill way too fast, everyday is a new heartache. I can't see any hope for us together and even less hope for me alone. At this point, I can't imagine the tremendous tenacity one must have to go through with divorce. I'm utterly lost... I hope it's okay to linger awhile reading through this entire thread. It might give me a better perspective on the journey I am being thrust into.
So happy you posted. I am so sorry for your hurt. You are going to be ok, we are here and you will see that you are much stronger than you think you are. You are going to be ok. Just hang onto that and trust for now....
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Old 06-05-2011, 12:28 PM   #217
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Ha! I just received three boxes of stuff that my ex had of mine. I had no idea what I would find inside of them. I had completely shut off contact with him. He strung me along for six months following our divorce being finalized, promising to return a book he had of mine and close a joint account (I know I've mentioned that situation earlier - I ended up having to get my lawyer involved in order to get that resolved). The book was returned due to a clever friend deciding to ask him to let her get it for me. She predicted that he would be embarrassed to say no to her because of how petty he would look. She was right and was able to get it back without any trouble. Once I got my book back, I told him that if he had anything else of mine that he decided to return at any point in the future, he should give it to a mutual friend and the friend would return it to me. At that point, there was no more need for me to contact him, so I have been happily enjoying my ex-free life.

I don't know what he got out of refusing to return that book or close the account. I suspect it gave him a sense of control. In any case, for six months, he didn't return a single thing he had of mine. Now that he no longer hears from me, he's no longer getting anything out of hanging onto my stuff, so returned it.

Without further ado, here is an overview of what he returned:
  1. The Good
    • A cat toy that the kitty in my avatar is particularly fond of.
    • A Halloween decoration that I had forgotten.
    • A notebook I had forgotten.
    • A cat food plate that is part of a plate/water bowl set. I thought the plate had just gotten lost. The kitties don't seem to mind having a mismatched set, but I'm happy to get it back.
    • Paperwork about my engagement ring. This was a nice gesture; he figured I should have the diamond certification and the appraisal if I wanted to get the ring insured. I sold the ring in December, but he doesn't know that and so I figured I should give him credit for trying to be nice about that.
  2. The Bizarre
    • Coffee. I really like coffee and he doesn't drink it. However, we were separated for two years and have been divorced for six months. I'm not going to use the coffee that I had left there when we separated.
    • Granola bars and other bars. He found these things in the back of a cabinet somewhere. They had been pushed to the back long before I moved out. We had been having trouble for quite awhile and so some of the normal stuff like cleaning out the cabinets had gone undone for awhile before I left. In any case, some of these had an expiration date back in 2006. Yeah, thanks for taking the time to box those up. He also sent along some half-used bath products.
    • Mail. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to get the Christmas cards that he enclosed. It would have been nice had he passed them on before June, but whatever. lol
    • A removable shelf from a shower. It's just the standard sort of thing that you'd buy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. He had clearly left it in his shower for awhile after I left because it was disgustingly dirty. It went straight into the trash.
I'm sitting here busting a gut laughing at this.....I have been divorced since 1964...I'm glad my husband isen't thinkng now of returning my stuff
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Old 06-05-2011, 02:10 PM   #218
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So happy you posted. I am so sorry for your hurt. You are going to be ok, we are here and you will see that you are much stronger than you think you are. You are going to be ok. Just hang onto that and trust for now....
Thank you! I so needed to hear that today!
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Old 06-05-2011, 02:19 PM   #219
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Originally Posted by B'Lou Moon View Post
Scrappingramma, it's good to know there is life after divorce. Because it sure doesn't feel like it from this end. Been married over 19 years. Our relationship has been wavering on rocky for quite some time, but it took an unexpected turn a few weeks ago and we are going downhill way too fast, everyday is a new heartache. I can't see any hope for us together and even less hope for me alone. At this point, I can't imagine the tremendous tenacity one must have to go through with divorce. I'm utterly lost... I hope it's okay to linger awhile reading through this entire thread. It might give me a better perspective on the journey I am being thrust into.
B'Lou Moon:

Sweetie, you WILL get through this!!!! I have been through the divorce from he!! - just ask the girls....a 3.5 year long process with a TRIAL with a CARAZY judge. Lemme tell you - if I can get through it then anyone can!!!

I found that I cycled from hurt and despair to being strong to back down again - all in a cycle, so don't worry that you are down now - you will rise above this. In the beginning it hurts so badly that you can't imagine ever feeling happy again - but one day you will realize that you haven't cried and then another day you will laugh!!!

As sad as I am about the whole thing, in many ways it is a blessing in disguise. I have the chance to find true love again!! My house is calm now with no one screaming or throwing things!! My kids and I have SUCH a special relationship - they know that I'd do anything for them. I've made tons of sacrifices, but it's sooo been worth it.
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Old 06-05-2011, 03:02 PM   #220
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B'Lou Moon, my first marriage was a little over 18 years... I thought I was going to die from the pain and heartache. I thought that no one else would want me, that I was used goods. What I discovered was that life was calmer without him there. I could really breathe for just about the first time in my life. I made decisions, instead of having his agenda pushed on me. Parenting was easier, because I didn't have him undermining me.

I know it is hard to see it right now, but it will get better. Please use this forum as a place to vent, ask advice, etc. It will help you to get it all out. We are here for you, and you WILL survive.
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Old 06-05-2011, 09:34 PM   #221
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I can't speak for anyone else, but my divorce put me through the emotional ringer. I'm the one who initiated the separation, but it was only after I had done everything within my power to save our marriage. I look back and know that I did everything I could to make it work, so I don't have any regrets on that front. All you can do is control yourself. You can't control whether your spouse listens to you, makes promises he doesn't keep, or really wants to be a good spouse to you.

I felt like a failure; I never imagined I'd get divorced. I was embarrassed. My self-confidence was at an all-time low. What was wrong with me that he treated me the way he did? I felt emotionally dead inside. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fall in love again. I had a really difficult time concentrating on anything that required real concentration. My thoughts would drift to my marriage and I'd start crying. I found myself having trouble finding the energy or desire to do everyday tasks. Once our divorce was finalized and I then had to deal with getting him to comply with the last part of the settlement agreement, I became angry, really angry. Why was he ignoring a court order? It wasn't even anything difficult; he just needed to close an account. I was so upset that I had to continue to remind him to do this. We were divorced for goodness sakes. His laziness and responsibility-shirking was no longer supposed to be my problem.

I'm not there anymore. Yes, I still reflect back and have times of sadness or anger, but I'm not living in that state anymore. Time has healed some of it. My kitties have healed some of it. It's hard to be angry when you see two kitties snuggling or one of them starts snuggling with you. I went back to see a therapist that I saw when we first separated. I was concerned about how angry I was about him not complying with the settlement. I never was an angry person and if it wasn't a proportionate reaction, I wanted to find some strategies to deal with the anger. The therapist basically told me that it was emotional phlegm, i.e. that you just have to deal with it and that it's perfectly normal. I also went back to the lawyer to get the last issue in the settlement agreement taken care of. Hmm...I'm trying to think of what else helped me deal with everything. Well, on a shallow note, I went to bars and enjoyed having guys hitting on me. I wasn't ready for a relationship, but it was nice to know that there were men who were attracted to me. I read articles online about depression and started taking some of the steps that were recommended. I don't think I was clinically depressed, but I didn't like some of the symptoms I had developed, so started to meet that head-on. I eventually started dating someone, but not until I was ready. He had been a friend for a long time and so actually saw me at my worst through the divorce process and was interested in me after witnessing all of that. He's very kind and good to me. He's also very aware of my emotional minefields, especially those that developed through the course of my marriage and so does his best to avoid those. Oh! I almost forgot the most important thing. I made use of my support system. I don't discuss a lot of private matters with my family, but I talked, vented, and cried with my closest friends. When things had started to go sour in my marriage, I hadn't told any of them. I didn't want to burden them. But, as we approached the time when I was going to ask for the separation, I started talking to them. It wasn't a burden to them. They love me and want to be there to support me in difficult times. Let your friends (and/or family, depending on your relationships) be there for you.

Things get better. It's hard to see that when you're in the midst of the pain, but they do. A divorce is the death of a marriage. You'll likely go through the stages of grieving and that's fine. Be kind to yourself; you're going through a lot.
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Old 06-06-2011, 04:28 PM   #222
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Christine, you have a way with words....I can so connect with the following:
"I felt like a failure; I never imagined I'd get divorced. I was embarrassed. My self-confidence was at an all-time low. What was wrong with me that he treated me the way he did? I felt emotionally dead inside."

From Me: It takes a long time for the brain to rewire so that you learn to feel good about yourself, and soon you realize...you are actually happier w/o him. You feel relief and you realize life is not stagnant...It changes...and this is indeed ~~a very good change.
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Old 06-07-2011, 03:42 PM   #223
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Wishing everyone a good mid-week...hang in there!
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Old 06-08-2011, 06:56 AM   #224
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I know I do not post very often...however I went through the divorce and posted a bunch. It was helpful to me when Mary, started to post...see she was the only one of us that had remarried...She always had a kind word or advice...
Christina, you nailed the nail on the head with your post...I too felt much like a failure and to watch my kids hurt too...
I have since gotten remarried and I have the 4 kids and we are doing well...there is life AFTER divorce, but you need to make it through the divorce first....don't try to ruch your feelings..feel them and grieve the death of your marriage....
I am sorry I do not have very pretty works to make it all better, I just have my experience...I do hope you all have a wonderful day and week...it is hot here, my garden is up and doing well...we are content and hubby is back to work this week......hang in there everyone!
Taishea
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Old 06-08-2011, 07:26 AM   #225
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Taishea, you did a wonderful job moving forward. I am in awe. I know it was not easy. You are right, there is no pretty way to say what it is like. It hurts, is true grieving and you have to move through it little by little.

All of us have a great purpose. Keep believing that.
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Old 06-08-2011, 07:30 AM   #226
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Glad you are doing well, Taishea.

I'm having a good week so far. It's hot here, too, but I've been staying in air-conditioning during the worst part of it.

I've been thinking about some of the people who posted that they went through divorces years ago. foxy67 said she's been divorced since 1964, for example. The social stigma attached to divorce isn't completely gone, but it's much, much lower than it used to be. I think about all the heartache that comes with a divorce and having the social issues piled on top of it and I really feel for you ladies, but I'm glad that life turned out well in the end for you!

I sometimes think of things to post, but then don't. I'm not sure if they'd be helpful or not. I think I'm just going to post because if it isn't helpful, I have faith that people will be able to ignore what I say.

Anyway, something that helped me during my divorce was music. I don't really do sad songs or ballads. In general, I'm drawn to faster music, but specifically with the divorce, I didn't need help feeling sad and so stayed away from sad music (I know other people find it comforting - vive la différence!). A few songs I was drawn to:

Believe - Cher
Survivor - Destiny's Child
These Boots Are Made For Walking - Nancy Sinatra
King of Anything - Sara Bareilles
The World Should Revolve Around Me - Little Jackie (profanity warning for those who are offended by that)
Single Ladies - Beyonce
Red Rubber Ball - The Cyrkle
Born This Way - Lady Gaga

Okay, to be fair, I didn't listen to the last one while I was going through my divorce, but that's because it was released well after my divorce was finalized, but had the timing been different, it would have been.

Hope all of you are doing as well as possible!
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Old 06-08-2011, 07:39 AM   #227
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Many of you have children and so I thought I might want to pass along a website to you, DadsDivorce.com: Divorce Advice for Men and Fathers | Men and Divorce . That probably seems a bit counter-intuitive that I mention a website aimed at men, but if you know the advice given to men, then you might not get caught by surprise with some issues. There's an active forum and some of the strategies mentioned could help you as well. One that stuck out to me in particular was "radio silence." As a part of doing our best to work things out, we may have a habit of over-sharing. If you tell your spouse too much about your plans, they have info about your strategy and may try to circumvent you in court. They have a very "divorce is war" type of tone there and I'm not advocating that, just hoping everyone has the info they need in order to make the best decisions for their families. Be aware that the tape recording they recommend is *not* legal in all states. I live in a state where one-way recording (i.e. without permission of the other party) is very illegal.
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Old 06-08-2011, 08:17 AM   #228
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Christine, I am happy you posted for men...My 4 kids have not had a full weekend with the x (minus the weekend past and 2 separate days in between) since the middle of January. I wish men would read something on how it affects the kids...My DD is feeling so rotten right now and 90%^ of it stems from the lack of a relationship with him...and yes, you guessed it...I bet the rear end of that deal too....I love my kids very much and I keep them anytime he has had to "work" in the past on his weekend....usually it seems he is out doing something or other with his new wife....it is a very sad situation...I feel bad for my kids that the x does not have them as top priority in his life...oh well...please post as someone should be able to use the advice or experience....Taishea
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Old 06-08-2011, 08:17 AM   #229
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Karen, thank you....
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Old 06-08-2011, 01:07 PM   #230
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FAMILY!

This was a challenge word to challenge me all year long..I am surrounded by family and love it...I hope one day that this will go into my new house...And every part of this is made from a gift from a family member...Taishea
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Old 06-11-2011, 02:02 PM   #231
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Ladies, What Taishea did was choose a word she wanted to focus on. Die cut the letters, then craft them.....she did a beautiful frame type hanging. You could do a scrapbook type page with decorative papers, embellishments, whatever.

The idea is to choose a word that is something you want to focus on. My word is SELF. Taking better care of myself, not being so hard on myself, doing things for myself, as I spent so many years doing just for others.....

It takes a bit of time to think about how you are feeling right now, and coming up with a single word that gives you focus, meaning, etc..I remember I described what I was feeling and Mary was the one that helped and said, SELF! It was perfect!

It is something to think about doing if you are interested. Could even mean a fun trip to the craft store for goodies....does not have to be costly.
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Old 06-11-2011, 02:26 PM   #232
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Taishea did a beautiful job on her display. It makes me think about what family should be... warm, cozzy, sometimes torn apart, then taking the good parts and sewing them together to form a new whole. That's what we do when a chapter ends(like the end of a marriage). We take the good parts and make a new whole. It takes time to get to the sewing part.... we need to look find the parts that are good, and discard the parts that are tearing things further apart. Sometimes we need to put some of the pieces to the side, think about them, and decide if that is good or bad for us. It could be years before we are ready to start putting the pieces together and make a new design of our lives, we may have to rearrange the pieces a few times before they feel and fit right. Sometimes we need help with the pieces (counseling, friends, family). What we need to remind ourselves is to be gentle and forgiving of ourselves, because we are a work in progress.
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Old 06-11-2011, 03:00 PM   #233
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Mary, you said that so well! I can not explain it clearly but I have a piece of the puzzle that just is not there yet. I keep rearranging it, will think I have it, then it moves on me! I was telling this to a friend just this week.

Your post was perfect!
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Old 06-11-2011, 03:42 PM   #234
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Thank you so much Mary and Karen...you two really put into words what my "project" is...you are wonderful friends...thank you so much! I love you both!

Taishea
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Old 06-11-2011, 03:51 PM   #235
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Thank you both. I love you both too, you've become very important to me.

Hugs
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Old 06-11-2011, 04:45 PM   #236
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I love you guys too! You are very important to me.
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Old 06-13-2011, 05:23 AM   #237
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This past weekend was very busy...shopping for food, clothes for DD and new boots for hubby....

the x called 45 minutes BEFORE it was time to leave to bring him the kids on Friday...claiming he had to work...yet Saturday he calls and says he did not have to work as late and wanted the kids brought to him....uummmmm...we called and told him we had plans with the kids so we were not bringing them in....
and when he called, he smarted off and asked if it ruined our plans to have the kids....he is such a jerk....we center our lives around the kids so no he did not hinder our plans at all we just do what we were doing with the kids....

on a brighter note, Derrik, has been rebuilding a JD 110, finally got his new rebuilt engine (he bought it with his mowing $) wired right and it was running...no smoke either...he was happy...

Our garden is all up and thriving...I love this time of year!
I hope everyone is doing well..Have a great week!


Taishea
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Old 06-13-2011, 05:40 AM   #238
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Silly man, he is only hurting his children with his words and actions. I'm sure the kids had much more fun with you and your DH, than they would have with him....
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Old 06-13-2011, 12:36 PM   #239
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The saddest part, Mary...is your right..they NEVER want to go there....They do not like talking to him....I would love to not to have to deal with him.......


Taishea
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Old 06-15-2011, 01:09 PM   #240
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I filed for divorce in October. We lived under the same roof until January. I came home from work he had moved out and took the most expensive furniture, cleared out the joint checking account and left a note he would contribute to the mortgage no more. The mortgage by the way in my name because he had a foreclosure on a home before we married. I moved out of the house in March. The house is up for auction July 5th. To make matters worse there is no support from family. Mom says it is my red wagon alone to carry, I got myself into it and I have to get myself out of it. My sister says you married him, my brother told my mother she protected me too much when I was younger. My dad answer to me telling him my house was being auctioned off was you knew this was going to happen. No empathy or caring about my feelings
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