In the Forums

Register

Today's Posts

Search


Get the Weekly
Inkling
newsletter





Previous Issues

Get Social

Like Splitcoaststampers on Facebook Follow Splitcoaststampers on Twitter Watch Splitcoaststampers Videos on YouTube

Sponsored Ads


 
Splitcoaststampers.com - the world's #1 papercrafting community
You're currently viewing Splitcoaststampers as a GUEST. We pride ourselves on being great hosts, but guests have limited access to some of our incredible artwork, our lively forums and other super cool features of the site! You can join our incredible papercrafting community at NO COST. So what are you waiting for?

Join the party at Splitcoaststampers today!

Like Tree2Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-06-2013, 06:46 PM   #1121
Stazon Splitcoast
 
laurlynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 29,912
Default

Well just can't get out of this low, crying mode right now. Made it through the holidays okay, so I thought. Now he's talking about moving to a new place, a one BR duplex with an unfinished basement, meaning the kids are back to sleeping in the living room. What makes me sad is he's hyping up the new move with the freshly painted walls, the open basement/playroom, near a friend of the 7yo, yadda, yadda, yadda, while I sit here and can't even afford to paint my walls, the van is making new noises, and a headlight just went out...but yay for you, go move into your new place. Mom wants me to come along on vacation with her and dad next month but I just don't know if I can swing it, not to mention to get him to watch the kids for the week or half week, whichever I can work out. I certainly wouldn't want him staying here for that time even though he'd try to convince me it would be better for the kids. I need to figure something out though because I can't continue to keep yelling at the kids, even when the boys are on each other's cases. Then I have a therapy appt this week and I'm not even sure they are really helping. See, everything is just a downer right now.

*sigh* Yippee, here's to a new year!!!
__________________
Laurie
laurlynn is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2013, 08:55 AM   #1122
Kookie Creator
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 462
Default

I have two girls, and yep sibling argue, I realised I can't sort it, they argue because they will, once you accept this and just say too them that YOUR not taking sides, it helps but that bit is the hard bit, to not get up and try to sort it.
Sit them down and tell them if they won't and do stuff for you, then your not playing games either, and stop doing things for them. The trip to the shop they want say "no, because you don't deserve the treat. "
It takes about a month for them to get the point, but it is worth it.
When I looked at where my month's money was going I realised I was spoiling the kids, because I am their mum and yet got nothing back, Eldest now has a paper round.

Your a great mum, your kids love you, you need to see that and stop being so hard on yourself.
__________________
http://gspcrafts.blogspot.com/
sharron246 is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2013, 09:26 PM   #1123
Stazon Splitcoast
 
laurlynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 29,912
Default

Thank you for the encouragement. I know, but it was just one of those hit-the-bottom-already-so-you-can-start-crawling-to-the-top-again days. Glad it's over because I feel so much better after a good night's sleep.

On the plus side, I changed the van headlight all by myself today!
__________________
Laurie
laurlynn is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-22-2013, 08:49 PM   #1124
Stazon Splitcoast
 
laurlynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 29,912
Default

Went to a single mom's encouraging group meeting tonight at a local church. Every time I go to one of these, I just come home even madder at stbx then before I went. Maybe I should attend a divorce group rather than a parenting group?! Need to change something...can't continue in this rut I'm in.
__________________
Laurie
laurlynn is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
catxnmks likes this post.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2013, 09:40 AM   #1125
Stazon Splitcoast
 
laurlynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 29,912
Default

I put my ring in the safety deposit box yesterday. The divorce is not final yet but why not?! My hand feels sooo naked. I can still see the indent on my finger...I was wearing it for over 16 yrs. Maybe I should put it back on? I don't want to answer questions. It shouldn't be this difficult to do something so simple. It's just a ring and I thought I was ready to take it off. *sigh*
__________________
Laurie
laurlynn is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-26-2013, 11:35 AM   #1126
Pearl-ExPert
 
trefoil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: with a whiney cat
Posts: 2,314
Default

It's not just a ring. It's a symbol of your marriage, from the love and positive outlook you had during the engagement, to the hurt and betrayal of the ending of the marriage. It's been a part of your life for a long time. It's okay to have mixed feelings about taking it off. It's also okay if you want to keep it on; it's your ring!

I took mine off when we originally separated. I don't remember what my reasoning was, but I suspect it was symbolic of me emotionally separating from him as well. I sold the ring shortly after the divorce was finalized. I didn't get much for it, but at that point, I figured that the money was worth more to me than the ring. I loved the ring (the look of it, not the emotional baggage that it had acquired), but at the same time, it was just going to symbolize something negative for me, so I wanted to send the diamond back out into the world and hope that it be a part of a happier story in the future.

Do you have any idea how long it will take for your divorce to be finalized? That limbo period can be hard. *hugs*
__________________
Christine
trefoil is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 05:05 AM   #1127
Kookie Creator
 
scrappingramma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 480
Send a message via Yahoo to scrappingramma
Default

Taking my rings off was my way of ending the marriage and commitment to the stbx, it helped me to emotionally free myself from him. My first marriage lasted 18 years so I saved my wedding set to give to my son. He gave it to his wife when they got engaged. The ring symbolized the love that he was concieved with, so I thought it fitting that he get it. I gave my daughter the plain gold band that we bought for me to do housework and gardening. She lost it, (so glad I didn't give her the wedding set). My son is saving it as a family heirloom to pass on to his son someday. I sold the ring from my second marriage, because it didn't have the same type of memories attached to it.

Everyone is different, and every situation is different. We must do what is right for us and the situation we are in.
__________________
~Mary~
Happiness is in the Heart, not in the Circumstances
My avatar is me with my grandchildren
scrappingramma is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2013, 07:11 PM   #1128
Stazon Splitcoast
 
laurlynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 29,912
Default

A whole month since any posts. Hope everyone is doing okay.
__________________
Laurie
laurlynn is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 05:21 AM   #1129
Kookie Creator
 
scrappingramma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 480
Send a message via Yahoo to scrappingramma
Default

Life is busy, planning a 60th birthday party for DH. Quick trip to GA because MIL fell, broke her femur up by her hip and had surgery. She is in a nuring/rehab facility for a few weeks to recover and have PT. Please pray for her, she is 86 and not sure she has the determination to recover from this.
__________________
~Mary~
Happiness is in the Heart, not in the Circumstances
My avatar is me with my grandchildren
scrappingramma is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-30-2013, 09:19 PM   #1130
Stazon Splitcoast
 
laurlynn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 29,912
Default

Almost a whole month again...

Having a particularly hard time this week, realizing it was two years ago Easter weekend that my life forever changed. (Actually end of April, but forever tied to "Easter".) I know I need to look forward, and mostly I do, but these little triggers still show up now and then. At least it's not as obvious anymore, and takes me a bit to realize why I feel so down at that particular time. I also have the love and support of my kids to help me through. Thank goodness they seem to so far be handling it so much better than I expected. I pray that this continues on as they approach their teen years. I seem to be the only one still having a hard time of it.

Hope everyone will have a great Easter weekend.
__________________
Laurie
laurlynn is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-05-2013, 02:52 PM   #1131
Pearl-ExPert
 
trefoil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: with a whiney cat
Posts: 2,314
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by laurlynn View Post
Almost a whole month again...

Having a particularly hard time this week, realizing it was two years ago Easter weekend that my life forever changed. (Actually end of April, but forever tied to "Easter".) I know I need to look forward, and mostly I do, but these little triggers still show up now and then. At least it's not as obvious anymore, and takes me a bit to realize why I feel so down at that particular time. I also have the love and support of my kids to help me through. Thank goodness they seem to so far be handling it so much better than I expected. I pray that this continues on as they approach their teen years. I seem to be the only one still having a hard time of it.

Hope everyone will have a great Easter weekend.
It's okay to be down from time to time. I'll be graduating at the end of the semester and I started this program while I was married. I thought back to my marriage for a bit. I'm very happy with the path my life has taken, but I think big events, including holidays, make us reflective.

Take care!
__________________
Christine
trefoil is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2013, 10:07 AM   #1132
Insane Embellisher
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 3,486
Default

I hope you are doing ok Laurie. I wanted to send you a hug. Life changes are always the hardest, and I hope you can find some support and encouragment nearby. I am not divorced, but was widowed at 40. Life became so hard. I know it is not the same issue, but some of the issues are (loneliness, stress, sadness etc etc.) I found a great online group for young widows who would understand and chat back and forth, They hold gatherings to show support. I think they helped me move forward, and the only reason I did join was I was speaking to my sister who was married with 3 kids and not in the same situation, and she couldn't answer me. I remember the whole "do I wear my ring" question and it freaked her out. I found a group, and they helped me. Not sure what is out there for people who are divorcing, but I hope there is. If you ever need to chat, just pm me. You have support.
__________________
Winnie
http://www.winniesinkyfingers.com
winnieu is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
scrappingramma likes this post.
Reply With Quote
Reply





Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off