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Old 09-01-2012, 05:54 AM   #1081
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It's been almost 20 years and I still have some anger. However, it gives me great pleasure to know that our kids and grandkids like spending time with me and my hubby over him and his wife. (I know it's petty, but sometimes you just have to do the happy dance in your head...LOL).

Stay strong and hold your heads high ladies... don't let them bring you down to their level.

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Old 09-01-2012, 02:11 PM   #1082
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scrappingramma View Post
It's been almost 20 years and I still have some anger. However, it gives me great pleasure to know that our kids and grandkids like spending time with me and my hubby over him and his wife. (I know it's petty, but sometimes you just have to do the happy dance in your head...LOL).

Stay strong and hold your heads high ladies... don't let them bring you down to their level.

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My db2 and his wife came over to help me trim trees and clean up the yard the way it should have been done years ago. They happened to get here the same time stbx came to pick up the kids. Ackward...first time this brother has seen him since all this mess. Anyway, it's nice to know my family can at least be civil and say hello unlike his family that snubs me, even though I'm not the one having the affair. Now I can laugh about it (or do the happy dance in my head) rather than feel bad about it. I'll take progress one step at a time!
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Old 09-02-2012, 09:24 AM   #1083
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I find myself feeling lonely. The friends I know in town here, seem to be almost avoiding me. Oh, they speak when we see each other, but that's about it. The married couples are the worst - it's like they think divorce is contagious. I don't want to be always including myself in my daughter's family plans but if I wait for an invite, it seldom comes. So... I invite myself along once in awhile, not every time though. I do have some single gals here in town, but I feel awkward about "worming my way" into their activities.

I guess it will just take time to get back into the social scene - I could spend more time in the bars, but that gets to be so expensive and I'm not really into alcohol consumption that much. Maybe I just need to start volunteering to help out for charity functions that the one bar hosts and see what happens.
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Old 09-02-2012, 12:03 PM   #1084
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Sue, the holiday weekends are difficult when everyone is doing family things.
I ached my way through several long weekends and holidays, anxious to get back to work.

Now I am beginning to just enjoy the time alone. I try to do one thing with ppl but sometimes that doesn't work. I try to catch up on things, make some good food for myself...heck, one Mother's Day I ran to the Seafood Center and bought myself a lobster! With buying for one, you can treat yourself once in a while.

I like to walk around Barnes and Nobles with a coffee, looking at books. Or stop at a store that I don't normally get a chance to puruse..Pier 1, World Market, etc...

The fourth weekend was extremely hard for me. I was alone and it was summer. I felt horrid. I sat and wallowed. There are still times when I hurt and ache too. So don't get me wrong. It is all a process I guess...and as Mary said below she still gets angry at times and she has remarried!

Give yourself time...be patient with yourself.
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Old 09-03-2012, 06:32 AM   #1085
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Good Morning!
Hoping everyone has a good day, whatever you do! Hoping most of you are off of work...and taking a day to recharge. I know retail is open so many are working harder than ususal today!

Remember you are not alone...it feels like it but more than you know are in transition. And I try to remember how much happier I am now than I was!!

Get a bit of outdoor air if you can! Enjoy the last Hurrah of Summer!
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Old 09-03-2012, 03:38 PM   #1086
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I think part of my problem is just being overwhelmed with the "stuff" that's sitting around in the house. My mom's stuff is still here and should be disposed of and then my stuff is sitting around in boxes because I have no where to put anything.

With living in a town of 600 people, there's no place I can go unless I get in my car and drive for an hour. I'm trying to keep my gas consumption down because I have a goal. I want to be able to purchase a camper and a pickup within the next 3yrs. So... I'm cutting my spending to the bare necessities and saving, saving, saving. My goal is to get the camper by the time I retire. I want to be able to take my youngest granddaughter camping. She got to go 1 time prior to the split and she is still talking about it. So, that's my goal.

Today, working toward that goal, I've been sorting through my craft stash and putting things on eBay. I have so much and alot of the stamps are very similar - close enough that I don't need to have duplicates KWIM? So I spent 8hrs today, listing items and there are bids on some already.
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:21 AM   #1087
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My son no longer works for his father............ YEAH!!!!!!!!! They are also living in a different state than his father........ YEAH!!!!!!!! Doing the happy dance.... sadly his father is hoping to move to the same state and city, however he has needs to find a job there first, he been there twice looking and didn't get hired, my son found a job on his first try..... YEAH!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:35 AM   #1088
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Hi - just popping in to see how everyone is doing. Taking each day as it comes and enjoying those I spend with family and friends. The paths in my house are gradually getting wider as I sort and dispose of the stuff. As I empty boxes to put stuff in it's place, I fill those boxes with things for the resale store.

well... off to work.
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:51 AM   #1089
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Well girls It's been a while but with summer holidays and such just been so busy.

We had a good summer you may have seen our town on the TV, We had a lot of boats here this summer and were giving away medals...lol

I am in a very happy place, as somehow I keep being offered small jobs that pay for my crafting habit. Lots of bling Jewellery being made and sold and fair few cards too.

My children are happy and accept Daddy for who he is.. a fool who is now unhappy with the woman he left me for, and keeps calling to talk.. bad sign for her, but he is jobless so has to stay where he is, isn't it funny how many of our ex's don't seem to prosper once they lose us.

As to films... try anything with a 12 years rating as they don't put affairs in most of them, so have to have a story instead.

Have fun we are heading towards the big C.
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Old 09-15-2012, 09:17 AM   #1090
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This is one of my 2-day weekends. Sorting and enjoying the beautiful day. Starting to enjoy my "alone" time a little more each time it happens. Originally had plans to spend the day with daughter and family, but that changed and I'm not actually upset about that. I've put a couple of beef roasts in the crockpot and in a couple of hours my house will smell wonderful. Going to shred the beef for hot beef sandwiches and will freeze the leftovers for future meals. Loving my crockpot right now. Going to be using it every weekend to make meals for the week. Anyone got any good crockpot recipes to share??

Hope everyone is having a good weekend too.
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Old 09-15-2012, 09:51 AM   #1091
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This is a great blog

Crockpot365.blogspot.com
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Old 09-30-2012, 12:03 PM   #1092
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Well, everything was final with the divorce at the beginning of the month. I went on vacation somewhere I'd never been just before it went through and that was such a gift--visited friends with Alaska, saw so much of a beautiful state, and caught up with a very dear friend I've stayed in touch with since Kindergarten!

I think lately I've been feeling a bit numb--after the whole roller coaster of all the legal transition I feel a lot like I do when I want to sneeze but can't. I know there's a good cry coming, but it's just not happening. But I feel ok--sad but relieved it's over and peaceful about moving ahead.

I went to two very dear friends' wedding two weeks after the divorce was final. I thought I was fine until I started to cry on the drive 90 min out of town and made myself hold it together. Once I got through the ceremony it was a wonderful evening with dear friends but the ceremony was really hard. I guess that would have done it for the good cry but I didn't want to do that during their wedding and managed to hold it together.

I hope everyone's ok. Other than feeling kind of exhausted and relieved, things are good. I hope everyone else is doing ok, too.
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Old 09-30-2012, 12:21 PM   #1093
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Well I am here in Albuquerque. My son's 37th birthday was yesterday and I flew in on Friday with hopes to start a healing process but that did not happen. I went to house and his wife didn't answer the door and called him and he shows up and tells me I am not welcomed and even threathened to call the cops if I did not leave. Hence to say I did not get to see my grandson either. He has a heart of stone towards me and blames me for everything wrong in his life. I kept saying to him where did my sweet son go. Then last night I had a deja vu moment and remembered when I was first divorced and my ex took the kids out of state without me knowing to visit his mom. She and I talked after they left and she kept saying where did my Frankie go? He also was 37 at the time. He must be so proud of what he has done to our son. I go home in the morning. I have tried to make the most of it while here, I went to church this morning and met a very sweet lady. I have a lung disease so I am finding that I am having a difficult time breathing. I had hoped to get out and explore some today but instead am back in my hotel room enjoying the quiet. I have a great support system that have been there for me throughout the weekend by phone & email. I will be glad to be home tomorrow and try to move on.
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Old 10-01-2012, 08:34 AM   #1094
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I am so sorry that your son couldn't show you a bit of love, but you tried and know in your heart that having tried it is not your fault, sometimes people magnify things because they can't see that they might hold some of the blaim.

Hope the rest of your break went well.
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Old 10-01-2012, 02:53 PM   #1095
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Sharon,

He has magnified things and he is stuck at the age of 17 emotionally. I had a ahha moment while I was chatting with an old girlfriend of his when she made a comment about stuff in their relationship. He blames me for him being angry and everything bad that comes from his anger. I believe he is really angry at his dad for leaving but can't face it and so I am his scapegoat. It actually was very freeing once I figured this out. I know there is nothing I can do and he needs to take responsibility. He really needs major counseling. Maybe if the problems in his marriage get bad enough his wife will convince him to go. Ah the effects of divorce.
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Old 10-04-2012, 07:03 AM   #1096
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Well 16 years ago today I thought I married the man of my dreams. I suppose this explains a lot of my irritability lately. Ironically we'll be spending part of the evening together at ds2's school conferences.
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Old 10-07-2012, 04:24 AM   #1097
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I'm here to tell you that karma is alive and well and working hard. I don't wish anything bad on anyone, but when things happen, I see more and more that it is bad karma raising it's ulgy head in their direction. My first ex sold his house in a short sale becasue he couldn't make the payments, the business he started 3 years ago has been closed down and he moved to another state to work for a used car conglomerate. They got to the other state (2 1/2 hours from where my son lives), and have no one to help them unload their stuff. KARMA????? The woman that he originally left me for is in the hospital with a tumor in her colon, will be having surgery tomorrow, not sure if it's cancer or not. KARMA???? The woman he is married to now is sick with something all the time. KARMA, hypochondriac or addicted to drugs???????

It's been almost 20 years since our divorce... I'm prospering, married to a lovely man, we just bought a lovely home, we both have jobs, and life is good.

Hope you are all doing well.
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Old 10-22-2012, 04:31 AM   #1098
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Ladies... please forgive me for my last post, it was very catty and unkind of me to say the things I did.
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Old 10-23-2012, 10:22 AM   #1099
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Unkind, no. What goes around, does come around.
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Old 10-23-2012, 01:02 PM   #1100
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No it wasn't unkind. Plus it's good to see that life does go on. I can't wait until the bitterness and anger goes away. I'm tired of people telling me to smile...right now I feel there's nothing to smile about even though I should be smiling. I have great kids and they are with me.

Some day...some day.
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Old 10-23-2012, 04:46 PM   #1101
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Had a meeting today and all I can say is I hope Karma bites him and bites him hard. I am going to focus on the positives in my life. I have a job. I don't have a lot of extra $$$ right now, but my bills are paid (and on time too) and there is food in my house. I am comfortable in my own home - it's old and needs lots of work, but it is mine.

I just have bad days and earlier today it was one of those days. First the meeting that went downhill really fast - final court date will be scheduled and hopefully this will be over before the end of the year. The other bad thing was this afternoon, I went to my garage to get something out and found a little stray dog. The poor little guy had passed away in my garage. He was a little grey & white chihuahua - appear to be a pure-bred too. No collar and no tags. My garage is really old and the doors do not shut completely, so he was not trapped in there. Think he was probably living in there during the last cold snap. Could see no trauma, but he was just skin and bones. Two of my neighbors had both tried to catch him within the last few days, they had been able to get him to eat too. But...

I just feel so bad that he had to pass without someone caring for him. I think I cried for an hour - such a senseless thing. Don't know if he was a runaway or if someone dumped him. He was so tiny, even healthy and chubby would probably only have weighed about 3#. Just breaks my heart. If I had known he was in there, I would have found someway to pen him in so that I could have made sure he had enough food and water and some old blankets to keep warm.

Think finding the little guy is what made this day so horrible.
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Old 10-29-2012, 08:40 PM   #1102
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Evening. Confirmation for ds1 was this weekend. Glad it's over...second time seeing the inlaws after all this mess. First time mil ignored me, same for this time. Fil wasn't so bad, he said hi both times and actually talked with my dad and my brothers...more than the stbx did with my family. Anyway, I did get them to stay at church long enough for pictures, and they had no plans to come to the house afterwards where we were celebrating the Confirmation and ds1's bday which is on Halloween.

Dd2 had her 7th bday on Saturday also. Her dad didn't bother calling all day until they did their video chat at 8pm. She said a couple of times that she was "having an awesome birthday but it would be more awesomer if dad would call." He said he didn't realize he was "supposed" to call. What can I say?! She's only been talking about this day since Oct 1st when they put her bday on the class calendar at school.
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Old 10-30-2012, 04:41 AM   #1103
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Sadly most divorced fathers just don't "get it". When I stopped making my self responsible for his relationship with his children, they started to learn the truth. They just aren't that important to him. My daughter is 33 and her father is alone again (3rd wife has left him, he is living in his 5th wheel, a couple of hours away from my daughter). He has called her, texted her for her birthday, and even came over for an overnight visit. This is the way he acts when he doesn't have a woman in his life. He has ignored her birthday for the better part of 7 years, because his wife didn't like my daughter. My daughter knows this, it hurts her feelings, but she is biding her time, waiting for him to screw up again. He did make a smart ***** remark to her and she let him know that she would not tolerat being treated that way in her own home. I'm so proud of her.

My daughter married someone just like her father, they are divorced and my granddaughter didn't have a relationship with her father for a long time. He requested to be stationed near his daughter in KY. She did the right thing and went to visit every other weekend. It took him a year to get a bed for her to sleep on. It wasn't that he didn't have the $$ to buy one, he had the $$ for trips and things he wanted, but she was not a high priority. When she would visit, he would go in his bedroom and leave her alone in the livingroom. After over a year of this, she finally decided that she didn't want to visit anymore,(she is 15) of course he took offense to this and behaved like a child. He told her that he didn't have to pay anything for her college, and she told him that when he is old and sick and she is a Dr. she didn't have to take care of him. She is a really good student, and will most likely get lots of scolarships for college.

In the long run, these men do nothing to build a foundation for their relationship with their kids and are surprised when the kids don't have the desire to have a relationship with them when they are grown.

Stay strong ladies.
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Old 11-22-2012, 03:39 AM   #1104
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Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. May your day be filled with joy and laughter, and void of any and all drama.

Hugs
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:28 AM   #1105
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I wish I could say it was without drama but not the case for me. The original plan was to join my daughter with her in laws later today. I tried for a week to call her mil to find out what to bring with no call back. Then last night I asked my daughter what she was going to do this morning and found out that she is first going to her dad's for dinner. So again I get the left overs. I had made it very clear to her that I was done playing second fiddle but I guess my feelings just don't matter. I am mostly mad at myself because I had a feeling in my gut for quite awhile that things just weren't right. Now i am just going to spend the day at home by myself again. I am having a hard time finding something to be thankful for so I wouldn't be very fun company now anyway Why do I set myself up for this kind of disappointment?

I hope everyone else has a better holiday with your family and friends.
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Old 11-22-2012, 09:37 AM   #1106
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I'm sorry that you are having a disappointing Thanksgiving, Renee. *hugs*

I'm having a low-key Thanksgiving with my boyfriend. No other family, etc. Holidays used to be really stressful; I'm thankful that now I can have the time to relax in a stress-free environment.

Happy Thanksgiving to all; I hope that everyone is able to find some time to reflect on all that they are thankful for today!
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Old 11-22-2012, 06:59 PM   #1107
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Good thoughts headed everyone's way!!
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Old 11-24-2012, 02:05 PM   #1108
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I so hope everyone is having a good holiday weekend! My girls are home, it has been action packed until today, when both girls got the flu. Things came to a halt....

I have to say I am tired but will hold good memories. No drama as he is totally out of our lives.
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Old 11-25-2012, 08:41 AM   #1109
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Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.
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Old 12-04-2012, 01:15 PM   #1110
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Court date is Thursday. Everything is on schedule. Can hardly wait to slam shut that chapter of my life.

Taking each day as it came. Had absolutely no Christmas spirit. Didn't want to decorate the house.

Now I feel a difference coming over me. Do want to decorate. Have Christmas cards made. Days are looking brighter.
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Who would have thought that paper, ink & rubber could create a priceless keepsake or give me treasured friends.

Work in progress - 27lbs gone.
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Old 12-04-2012, 03:32 PM   #1111
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It's hard to close the door on the past, when there is still business to do. Keeping all of you in my prayers.
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:19 AM   #1112
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Hello, ladies!!! Long time-no talk I just wanted to stop by and wish everyone a very merry Holiday season!!! Browsing in the Christmas isles of one of the big stores I came across a frame. It says:"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." I wish you all to hold on to the people you love and the things that matter and to let go of the people that hurt you and the negative emotions they bring out in you. Love and hugs!!!
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:41 AM   #1113
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How wonderful to hear from you Anna. I think of you often

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with everything that is good.

~Mary~
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Old 12-23-2012, 07:32 AM   #1114
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Hello Anna and all!
Wanted to check in and wish everyone a very happy holiday ahead. As Sue said, just when things feel bleak, you can be washed with a new sense of purpose, positive feeling and hope for all good things ahead.

While no holiday is very perfect, hoping that we all experience some good things that give us that sense of hope for the future. You will be amazed as time passes and you stop and think about your life, you will realized things that have happened, good things, that never would have in your prior situation.
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Old 12-24-2012, 04:22 AM   #1115
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Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year !


Sending all of you a cyber hug.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:03 AM   #1116
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Merry Christmas Mary, and all!
Cyber hugs to everyone!
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:06 AM   #1117
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Merry Christmas to all! Thanks for the reminder... I was sort of thinking the same thing yesterday as my kids were off with their dad to his family out of town, my first Christmas without them. I can be angry about it or enjoy my time with the rest of my family, knowing I didn't have to go out of town. I also will be happy knowing that while my kids are having fun with the rest of their family, they can't wait to come home to me.

Note to self...thanks Anna for another entry for my book of sayings.
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Old 12-24-2012, 09:07 AM   #1118
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Right back at ya! I still can't believe it's Christmas already.
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Old 12-26-2012, 04:06 AM   #1119
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I got to see my kids and grandkids yesterday, we did a video chat !!! I was missing them alot. We even got to see them open gifts.
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Old 01-05-2013, 11:02 PM   #1120
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Very exciting about the video chat. Technology is an amazing thing these days.
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