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Old 02-18-2012, 05:30 PM   #881
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Oh! Please don't close the thread. I imagine it's something where people will come and go over time--a bit like a thread dealing with illness, or any other profound challenge and loss.

I think in a way it's sometimes a positive thing when people do move on--I have to admit I always hope it's because things are getting better to the point where someone's gotten to a point where they aren't needing to drop in to get that support. Maybe it's a bit like a familiar coffee shop--we stop by when we're in the neighborhood, but when we're off doing other things we may not always make it on the same schedule.

So lovely to hear...thanks!
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Old 02-18-2012, 06:55 PM   #882
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I still lurk here as well. In most ways, I've moved on from my divorce (I don't think it will ever completely leave me; it definitely left some traces in my life), but it doesn't mean that I don't care about the women still dealing with all the drama and heartache involved. I'm in the process of job-hunting. I should be finishing up school in August and am looking for a position. Keep your fingers crossed for me, ladies!

*hugs* to all!
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Old 02-19-2012, 03:27 AM   #883
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You know when life decided to play up and everyone decided to get in on the act...

Ex gets taken by Ambulance into hospital with really bad hypo, kids worried and were thinking maybe have to take them to see him.

Then MIL drops TV on her foot and is stuck in UK so off we shot 250 miles away up north, it was good to see her as she has not been in the country for a year, but it did mean all thoughts of sending cards and even loggin on were forgotten in the haste to go look after her. She now has a lovely scar in a large triangle shape on her foot which had to be stitched, she could have lost her foot, but was lucky the heavy boots she wore to go out in the snow were still on her feet.

On the way home went via his house so they could spend 3 hours with him then 3 hour ride home.

Hope you all had a great half term, and I am going to send you a small gift this week each. So your not forgotten just overlooked in the rush.
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:00 AM   #884
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You know when life decided to play up and everyone decided to get in on the act...

Ex gets taken by Ambulance into hospital with really bad hypo, kids worried and were thinking maybe have to take them to see him.

Then MIL drops TV on her foot and is stuck in UK so off we shot 250 miles away up north, it was good to see her as she has not been in the country for a year, but it did mean all thoughts of sending cards and even loggin on were forgotten in the haste to go look after her. She now has a lovely scar in a large triangle shape on her foot which had to be stitched, she could have lost her foot, but was lucky the heavy boots she wore to go out in the snow were still on her feet.

On the way home went via his house so they could spend 3 hours with him then 3 hour ride home.

Hope you all had a great half term, and I am going to send you a small gift this week each. So your not forgotten just overlooked in the rush.
Wow, you've definitely had your hands full. Take care and hope your kids are doing well.
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Old 02-19-2012, 08:46 AM   #885
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It is so fun how everyone chimed in.

Oh Sharron, what a time you have been having. What do you mean by saying he had a bad hypo? I hope things calm down for all of you!
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Old 02-19-2012, 01:32 PM   #886
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Saddened but not surprised. The "father" didn't show up to little guy's last basketball event - the team skills competition and he had the jersey. So, my little guy was the only one there with no jersey. I felt so badly and still do.
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Old 02-19-2012, 01:59 PM   #887
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Saddened but not surprised. The "father" didn't show up to little guy's last basketball event - the team skills competition and he had the jersey. So, my little guy was the only one there with no jersey. I felt so badly and still do.

That's not fair to your son. Dad's should be made to see the hurt they inflict on the small ones.


My ex is diabetic and does not look after himself, so he had a hypo and was in a coma and had to go to hospital, with full flashing lights to save his life, of course it wasn't his fault and he claims he was not that ill.

Oh well, kids have seen him so bet he won't see them again for another few months.
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Old 02-20-2012, 03:32 AM   #888
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Jen, that has got to hurt. Crummy he had the jersey to boot.

Sharron, oh now I understand, hypoglycemia.
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Old 02-20-2012, 04:53 AM   #889
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Stopping in for a quick hello. We got moved into the new house this past weekend.... can't find anything.. lol

I feel for the kids that have a parent or parents that really don't care about their feelings. My father was that way and when he was old and sick, couldn't understand why I didn't drop everything and fly to California to take care of him. We didn't have a relationship, he wasn't a father, he was a sperm doner. Your kids will realize in the future who was there for them, who put them first.

There are boxes here, that sadly aren't going to unpack themselves
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Old 02-20-2012, 08:30 AM   #890
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Mary, how exciting to be in a new house. Just think, now you can unpack everything how you want it to be. Of course, that's the problem now, deciding how you'd like it to be...

Enjoy! Soon the hard part will be over.
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Old 02-20-2012, 12:18 PM   #891
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I agree, don't close it. You've heard lately of a few lurkers that have finally chimed in. I'm sure that's the case with many...it was with me as well.

Jane, you Abe Lincoln quote makes me laugh every time I read it. I even read it to my 9yo and the look on her face was priceless as she thought about it.
LOL!!! Glad you both enjoyed it, Laurie!

I cracked up the first time I saw it too. The internet is a fascinating place and it's definitely spread some amazing ideas and brought people together in wonderful ways, but boy can it ever be a rumor mill for misinformation... I guess maybe that's the 21st century equivalent of my parents saying 'You can't believe everything you read'...
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Old 02-20-2012, 12:21 PM   #892
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Saddened but not surprised. The "father" didn't show up to little guy's last basketball event - the team skills competition and he had the jersey. So, my little guy was the only one there with no jersey. I felt so badly and still do.
Jen, that just bites.

People who do that to their own kids are a waste of perfectly good carbon. And space. I wish I could hug your DS and make him a special jersey but I know that will never fill a parent shaped hole.
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Old 02-20-2012, 12:25 PM   #893
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Stopping in for a quick hello. We got moved into the new house this past weekend.... can't find anything.. lol

I feel for the kids that have a parent or parents that really don't care about their feelings. My father was that way and when he was old and sick, couldn't understand why I didn't drop everything and fly to California to take care of him. We didn't have a relationship, he wasn't a father, he was a sperm doner. Your kids will realize in the future who was there for them, who put them first.

There are boxes here, that sadly aren't going to unpack themselves
Mary, I very much think you're right about that. In the end, the selfishness involved in making those choices becomes its own punishment.

Wishing you lots of happiness in the new house! I hope it's a joyful settling-in at your new home!
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Old 02-22-2012, 08:26 AM   #894
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Hey guys update time ..my son left his father and co and has come home to live for good YAY !! He is quite a lot taller than when i last saw him and his voice has broken ...so one twin is squeaky and one low ....anyway he was rather underweight ..it seems the girlfriend is a control freak and my son was not allowed to have snacks and his diet was controled (he was never over weight or anything) Story too long to type here but basically he was in trouble for doing normal teenage stuff which a stern talking to would have sorted ..she was screaming obscenities at him ..His father stood and cried !!But yay he is home xxx
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Old 02-22-2012, 12:51 PM   #895
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Hey guys update time ..my son left his father and co and has come home to live for good YAY !! He is quite a lot taller than when i last saw him and his voice has broken ...so one twin is squeaky and one low ....anyway he was rather underweight ..it seems the girlfriend is a control freak and my son was not allowed to have snacks and his diet was controled (he was never over weight or anything) Story too long to type here but basically he was in trouble for doing normal teenage stuff which a stern talking to would have sorted ..she was screaming obscenities at him ..His father stood and cried !!But yay he is home xxx
Glad to hear he's home. I bet the twins will be happy to be together again.
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Old 02-22-2012, 03:49 PM   #896
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Ally isn't it interesting how things have a way of working themselves out. So happy for you dear heart!

Mary, blessings and all the best in your new beautiful home! You have worked so hard and it is gorgeous!
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Old 02-23-2012, 10:54 AM   #897
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What great news to have your son home.

Also Maybe his being away will make him see what a great mum has had.
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Old 02-23-2012, 11:06 AM   #898
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Ally, so great to hear of your good news! Enjoy your son! Have a great day!


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Old 02-23-2012, 11:41 AM   #899
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Congrats Ally !!! It's so nice when they come back where they belong.
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Old 02-24-2012, 10:30 AM   #900
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Hi ladies ...he has settled well and the twins are bickering like bothers do ..just normal stuff and their older sister is bossing them around like she always did ..mind you the father has been texting my son this eveing to tell him off for telling mutual friends why he left ..kind of rant by text , i was rather hoping that he would at least keep contact with 1 of his kids but it seems that will not be , he did this with twin 1 nasty texts then nothing ...honestly what is it with these men ...altho i do think he is being led by the nose by the girlfriend who i found out had "got physical" with my son ...so glad he is safe now ..thanks again for support x
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Old 02-24-2012, 04:48 PM   #901
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Yes, he is safe! This may be a good time to file a report with the police, just so it is on record. Should things reoccur.

I would do this if it were me. Physical issues should be documented. And who knows beyond that...what is being said to the child??

Take care....
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Old 02-25-2012, 02:56 AM   #902
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well Karen , the son and i have had a chat and he want to just forget about her ...i said we could report it but he does not want to do victim statements etc and the only witness is the father who at the moment would side with the girlfriend who is a "piece of work" ...the father is having his very own pity party at the moment , he texted the 12 year old that he(the father) has "issues which he needs to sort " and " i am obviously a bad father" and on etc etc ...He certainly has issues , an inability to do anything without the permission of the girlfriend ...pending police charges for stealing all his mums money and treating his 3 kids the way he has ....honestly i cant believe i was married ( well still am ) to this person !!Still all 3 kiddos are safe and enjoying being together ...the sun is warm ..we are getting there ....
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Old 02-25-2012, 04:36 AM   #903
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Oh Ally, I do understand. I also can not believe now, that I was married to him. Now see it all more clearly.

Well, at least jot this down in a notebook with dates and details. Tuck it away....just in case...
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Old 02-26-2012, 06:40 AM   #904
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Ally your doing what all mums do, be there for your child so he knows he can come home because he is loved.

When kids know that they seem to be able to cope with the other stuff. Mine accept that daddy is a fool and will never see beyond his own needs. Just wish it was not so hard having to be the one they get cross at becuase I'm the one who has to be the baddie sometimes and say NO.
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Old 02-27-2012, 04:39 AM   #905
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Who are you Jeremy105? You joined the same day you post something here in this thread? Tell us your story.... who, what, when, where and why.
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Old 02-27-2012, 08:20 AM   #906
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Mary..thank you for questioning "Jeremy105" It gave me the creeps...there was a link in my email that I think he wanted included in his post..it never showed up as anything....just not a good feeling about him..now his post is GONE!!!! go figure! Taishea
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Old 02-27-2012, 09:04 AM   #907
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What? There's a stalker here?
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Old 02-27-2012, 12:37 PM   #908
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I am not sure...I just was very uncomfortable with the post..Thankful that Mary saw it and responded to it! Taishea
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:44 PM   #909
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Who are you Jeremy105? You joined the same day you post something here in this thread? Tell us your story.... who, what, when, where and why.
I reported him this am, to the mods.
Mods, if you have any info let us know....pm me. Thanks.

If he corresponds to you or gives you any info...let me know.
This is critical to our ladies who are in crisis.
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Old 02-27-2012, 05:48 PM   #910
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No worries ladies

Run of the mill spammer. Whenever you see spam and report it we delete their posts and ban them, so all is well. Thank you for being so vigilant! We so appreciate it!
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Old 02-27-2012, 08:02 PM   #911
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Whew! Thanks, Lydia. Good to know things are taken care of so quickly.
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Old 02-28-2012, 02:17 AM   #912
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I reported him this am, to the mods.
Mods, if you have any info let us know....pm me. Thanks.

If he corresponds to you or gives you any info...let me know.
This is critical to our ladies who are in crisis.
Thanks for reporting him Karen....!

Taishea



Thank you too Lydia for getting rid of teh spammer!
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Old 02-28-2012, 04:11 AM   #913
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It gave me an icky feeling too. I was worried that it might be an ex or stbx stalking. We watch out for each other. Thank you Karen and Lydia for your quick action.
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Old 02-28-2012, 05:11 AM   #914
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very vigilent lovely ladies ...i must admit i disappeared of SCS as i believe i was being watched ...pretty sure im ok now tho .....
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Old 02-29-2012, 04:37 PM   #915
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Do you all want to start another thread, with another name and just chat? We always can mix in our experiences....it might be safer?

Any ideas of what you would like it called....Strong women? Awesome women? etc...

Let me know and pm me. I am open to whatever everyone wants...I just think this chat is so essential.....where else do you go to receive so much support!!
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Old 02-29-2012, 05:11 PM   #916
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Quote:
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Do you all want to start another thread, with another name and just chat? We always can mix in our experiences....it might be safer?

Any ideas of what you would like it called....Strong women? Awesome women? etc...

Let me know and pm me. I am open to whatever everyone wants...I just think this chat is so essential.....where else do you go to receive so much support!!
I vote to keep this thread, how will others that need support find us, if it's changed. We just keep an eye on the posts and report any strange activity.
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Old 02-29-2012, 05:39 PM   #917
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KEEP WHAT WE HAVE HERE!!!!!

I think it is a very important part of those going though divorce to have a thread not renamed...Thanks I am off my soap box now!

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Old 02-29-2012, 06:51 PM   #918
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I think this thread is good. It also shows that we stand strong and won't be messed with! To be honest, I don't think my STBX would even know how to get to this forum much less this thread.

I'm just glad I didn't actually see the thread...then it might have spooked me more but I'm okay here.
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Old 02-29-2012, 06:56 PM   #919
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Well my Grandma recently passed away. She would have been 90 on St Patty's Day. Anyway, Mom just asked if I was okay with his name not being in the obit...guess this will be the BIG announcement to those that weren't already informed by his lack of name on my photo Christmas card.

This is the stuff that is hard to handle right now...actually informing people. I'm a Girl Scout Leader and the cookie mom too. So when parents would come over to pick up cookies, they'd ask where everyone is. I'd say getting groceries, which they were doing after he'd pick them up for the weekend. I just can't say at their Dad's, which would lead to we're getting a divorce; it's just too hard with the possible tears after he'd just picked them up. *sigh*
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:21 PM   #920
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Big hugs Laurie ...it will get easier....early on with my split every ones jaw would hit the floor ...but in time it gets easier ....xx
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