In the Forums

Register

Today's Posts

Search


Get the Weekly
Inkling
newsletter





Previous Issues

Get Social

Like Splitcoaststampers on Facebook Follow Splitcoaststampers on Twitter Watch Splitcoaststampers Videos on YouTube

Sponsored Ads


 
Splitcoaststampers.com - the world's #1 papercrafting community
You're currently viewing Splitcoaststampers as a GUEST. We pride ourselves on being great hosts, but guests have limited access to some of our incredible artwork, our lively forums and other super cool features of the site! You can join our incredible papercrafting community at NO COST. So what are you waiting for?

Join the party at Splitcoaststampers today!

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-07-2011, 09:37 AM   #1
Crimping Master
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 1,091
Default What do you do?

When a spouse is hard of hearing but won't even have it checked out to see what, if anything, can be done about it? My husband hollers when he talks. If he is standing next to me, it is so loud it reverberates in my head. Sometimes when someone says something to him, he doesn't hear them and it appears he is just ignoring them, or either he hears it wrong and responds inappropriately. There has been a time or two when I needed him but he did not hear my calls for help. He plays the t.v. so loudly it will blast you out of the room. Sometimes when I leave the room, he doesn't even know that I am gone and continues to talk to me, then gets mad when he finally realizes I am not there and he has been talking to himself. It is getting to be a real problem. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
BabyNurse is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 09:47 AM   #2
Hardware Hotshot
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 4,199
Default

Tell him. It's the only way he will know how much it is bothering you and those around you. I have a feeling I could be in your husband's shoes right now, although nobody has said anything to me...yet. I have personally been to the ear, nose and throat doctor, who said I am right on the edge of needing a hearing aid, but part of the problem is my sinus' pressing against my eardrum. He gave me a bunch of medications to take, and told me to come back. I tried the nose sprays he gave me and they didn't do much good, and I never went back to him. I think that will be two years ago this summer, and I really need to go back. Even if it's just to tell him that my sinus' will probably always be bad, if not worse than they are now. (sigh)
Anyway, I have a tendency to downplay things until my husband tells me it bothers him. Once he tells me, I realize it really is a problem I need to look into.
Good luck, and thank you for the kick in the pants I needed!
__________________
Erin in Okc
Erin in Okc is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 10:27 AM   #3
Crimping Master
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 1,091
Default Thank you, but...

I have told him, and even if I hadn't, he knows he can't hear. Sorry to say, but it is just vanity.
BabyNurse is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 01:24 PM   #4
CBC Lady Violet
 
Anemone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Waiting for the mojo fairy.....
Posts: 51,950
Default

What if you turn it around so he experiences what it is like? Wear earplugs or headphones so that you don't hear him. Maybe that would help him see how frustrating it is for the people around him.
__________________
"You may not have lost all your marbles, but there's definitely a hole in the bag." Grumpy Cat
Anemone is online now  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 02:15 PM   #5
Gallery Gazer
 
Laurie FW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Wenatchee, WA
Posts: 6,677
Default

Have a close male friend, male relative or boss tell him that he needs to get his hearing checking, ASAP! There are a lot of hearing aids now that are very, very discreet and people can't notice them! It is really a health issue for all of you now!
__________________
IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII* IIII*IIII*IIII*
Take only photographs, leave only footprints.
Laurie FW is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 05:11 PM   #6
Glitter Guru
 
sma499's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 7,431
Default

My dad was exactly the way you described. He even spent several thousand dollars on a hearing aid and wouldn't wear it because he thought it was too noisy (he apparently didn't realize it was noisy because he could actually HEAR everything . . . )

Up until the day he died, we had to yell at him in order to get him to hear us.

It's very frustrating to deal with someone with a hearing problem, but unfortunately, until he makes up his mind to have his hearing checked/corrected, probably nothing or nobody will make him do it.

I have a co-worker in his mid-50's who has a hearing problem. My (male) boss and others at work have spoken with him about it and he still hasn't done anything. In his case, I definitely think it's vanity.
__________________
Sharon
sma499 is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 06:03 PM   #7
Glitter Guru
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Waukesha, WI
Posts: 5,452
Default

My husband is not hard of hearing ----well actually he is a little bit, but that's minor compared to his other issue --a rare esophageal diease which he has had surgery for, but needs follow up visits with the dr EVERY SINGLE YEAR. He won't go. He hasn't seen a dr in over 2 years now. What is it about men that makes them NOT take care of their issues?? I have discussed this with all my friends ----seems all husbands are the same. I don't know if he's lazy --- doesn't want to hear bad news ---- lazy ----doesn't care ---lazy -----I don't know, I wish I had an answer for you but I'm also ready to tear my hair out (or his!)
__________________
~~Michelle~~

My gallery
My blog ~~~ Mommy Time
My Etsy shop
MilwaukeeMommy is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-07-2011, 09:13 PM   #8
Watercolor Wizard
 
Cynamom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 8,110
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyNurse View Post
I have told him, and even if I hadn't, he knows he can't hear. Sorry to say, but it is just vanity.
Vanity and stubbornness!!! My husband is the same way. I've tried every approach on some of the bigger issues, but nothing will stick until he wants it to for himself. I hope you find an approach that works!
__________________
Silly me! Check out my blog at http://mommagetsreal.blogspot.com/
Cynamom is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2011, 07:16 AM   #9
Die Cut Diva
 
stamper1996's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Waukesha WI
Posts: 3,406
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurie FW View Post
Have a close male friend, male relative or boss tell him that he needs to get his hearing checking, ASAP! There are a lot of hearing aids now that are very, very discreet and people can't notice them! It is really a health issue for all of you now!
I agree. Maybe hearing this from another person will make a difference (or maybe not). My mom, sisters, and I talked to our dad for several YEARS before he finally agreed to get tested and get hearing aids.
__________________
Happiness is being kneaded.
Avatar is my childhood kitty, Berries.
stamper1996 is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2011, 09:40 AM   #10
Crimping Master
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: NC
Posts: 1,091
Default Thanks for listening everyone

It seems that I'm not the only one with what I see as a problem. I know it could be worse. I truly think the main reason he will not seek help or advice is due to vanity. He is getting older, and getting hearing aids would be admitting that he is old (in his eyes). As long as he ignores the problem, it isn't there.

Milwaukee Mommy, I know it must be a huge worry to you that your hubby is not going for his follow up visits. Hopefully things are o.k. with him.
BabyNurse is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2011, 09:40 AM   #11
Pearl-ExPert
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Sambro, Nova Scotia
Posts: 2,098
Default

Sounds like you have to practice some tough love with him like you'd have to do with an unruly teenager. I'm not exactly sure what that would entail in your family situation but if it was my husband, I'd be telling him he'd be living in the shed until he had it dealt with LOL! Seriously though, I'd make the appointment and insist that he go.

Still on a serious note, when my hubby avoids serious things that I don't want him to, I have to turn the tables and guilt him into doing the right thing. I'd tell him to imagine how bad he'd feel if I (or one of the kids) took a fall, needed serious medical help, and he couldn't hear your cries for help. Guilt can do wonders. A similar situation happened with my grandmother. She's 86 and hard of hearing and very vain about it. Her significant other fell off a ladder while taking Christmas lights down. He laid on the ground banging on the side of the house trying to get her attention for almost a half hour before she finally heard him. He was seriously injured and almost died.
__________________
Leslie Harnish
Sambro, Nova Scotia
Canada
lharnish is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2011, 12:45 PM   #12
Pearl-ExPert
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: San Diego
Posts: 2,469
Default

BabyNurse - sounds like quite a few of us are paddling the same boat!

My husband and boss both are hard of hearing. The boss finally did something about it after his wife bugged him for YEARS.

Hubby is a musician and his hearing is shot from years of loud music on stage. His left ear is the worst; too many years of being next to a cymbal stand

I agree with what has been posted already - it's a vanity thing IMHO. Men can be touchy about "getting older" and hearing aids aren't macho.

All I can add is "Good Luck" and "I know how you feel"........

*sigh*
__________________
Lorraine
Wife to an awesome DH and Mommy to an adorable DS who is on the spectrum for autism
smhtwin is online now  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 03-08-2011, 04:35 PM   #13
Rubber Obsessor
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 195
Default

I too think that it is a vanity thing. My husband is in the same boat but doesn't think it can be that bad. I just try and ignore the issue but will have to nad out some tough love soon-getting very noisy in the house. Good luck with him going and getting tested soon.
rockie1 is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-2011, 07:17 PM   #14
Stampin' Fool
 
eslkerry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,535
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by lharnish View Post
Sounds like you have to practice some tough love with him like you'd have to do with an unruly teenager. I'm not exactly sure what that would entail in your family situation but if it was my husband, I'd be telling him he'd be living in the shed until he had it dealt with LOL! Seriously though, I'd make the appointment and insist that he go.

Still on a serious note, when my hubby avoids serious things that I don't want him to, I have to turn the tables and guilt him into doing the right thing. I'd tell him to imagine how bad he'd feel if I (or one of the kids) took a fall, needed serious medical help, and he couldn't hear your cries for help. Guilt can do wonders. A similar situation happened with my grandmother. She's 86 and hard of hearing and very vain about it. Her significant other fell off a ladder while taking Christmas lights down. He laid on the ground banging on the side of the house trying to get her attention for almost a half hour before she finally heard him. He was seriously injured and almost died.
My DH was the drummer in a rock and roll band. Enough said? I can't get him to do much about his hearing loss, but in order to protect MY hearing I bought a pair of ear plugs called "Ear Peace". DS wears them in clubs or concerts cuz he doesn't want to end up like his dad. I love them for watching tv or movies when he turns up the volume so he can hear but that are just too loud for me
__________________
Kerry
eslkerry is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2011, 07:10 AM   #15
Pearl-ExPert
 
thwacker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Beautiful Michigan
Posts: 2,002
Default

I wish mine would go too!!! I get so tired of talking and then hearin "uh, what'd you say" My other fave is that he complains how he can't see, but won't go to the eye doctor! MEN!!
__________________
There is NO vaccine against Stupidity!
thwacker is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2011, 02:33 PM   #16
Insane Embellisher
 
Rainy Day Stamper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 1,018
Default

I work for an audiologist and I also wear hearing aids. I have worn two different brand names and to tell you the truth I loved both. My employer just wanted to upgrade me. So who was I to say no?

You would not believe how many men come into our office because their wives have brought them.

It takes a couple weeks of wearing aids to grow accustomed to hearing all the noises we have not heard before. (I was probably born with my loss) We tell our patients to give their brains a break when they start feeling irrateable. It really does overwhelm the brain alot.

I remember the second day of wearing mine and walking into a paint store, they had a bell on the door to let them know when a customer came in, that bell rang and I immediately decided I was not going to buy anything from them. I took the aids out for the rest of the day before I snapped someones head off.

We have coffee mugs in our office with our logo and Huh? What? written on the other side. We hear it every day. Those that wear hearing aids and those that live with them love the mugs.

Good luck getting your hubby in. If by any chance you think his loss of hearing is work related check with your states workers comp to see if the aids will be covered and what steps he would have to take to take advantage of that.

My avatar I have long hair but now I have a pixie cut and no one knows I wear aids unless I tell them. The new digital aids are awesome. Look at Starkey and Oticon for starters. They also now have blue tooth technology so you can listen to tv through your aids and talk on the phone through them.

Hope this all helps.

Lois
Rainy Day Stamper is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2011, 02:41 PM   #17
Glitter Guru
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dallas
Posts: 5,509
Default

Have not read the whole thread but....

We had a hearing problem here and guess what? It is kinda of gross but not 'fungus' like you think. My husband had a fungus infection in his ears. Weird but true and the cure is boric acid ADMINISTERED BY A DOCTOR. He hears perfectly now and I kind miss the last year...I could call him names and he heard nothing...

Anyway, you can get an ear fungus by something as simple as a Q-Tip. It took less than 24 hours for him to hear again after Y E A R S of having a problem.

Ear fungus...i am NOT lying!
53queenbee is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-2011, 07:52 PM   #18
Gallery Gazer
 
Laurie FW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Wenatchee, WA
Posts: 6,677
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 53queenbee View Post
Have not read the whole thread but....

We had a hearing problem here and guess what? It is kinda of gross but not 'fungus' like you think. My husband had a fungus infection in his ears. Weird but true and the cure is boric acid ADMINISTERED BY A DOCTOR. He hears perfectly now and I kind miss the last year...I could call him names and he heard nothing...

Anyway, you can get an ear fungus by something as simple as a Q-Tip. It took less than 24 hours for him to hear again after Y E A R S of having a problem.

Ear fungus...i am NOT lying!
You know this is a really good point, I am glad you spoke up Queenbee!

My hubby has a problem with excessive ear wax, he generates an amazing amount. He has to get it removed professionally (by an ear, nose and throat doctor,) if he doesn't remember to use the off-the-counter ear wax removal kit often enough. How do we know when it is time for him to go to the professional? When he stops being able to hear very well! It is painless and a very simple solution. I have at least one other friend with the same problem, she has to have hers removed professionally every 6 months, so it is worth checking out! (I think it is probably a long shot, both the fungus and the excessive ear wax, but if it gets him to the doctor, it is worth a try, eh?)
__________________
IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII*IIII* IIII*IIII*IIII*
Take only photographs, leave only footprints.
Laurie FW is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2011, 06:26 AM   #19
Insane Embellisher
 
Rainy Day Stamper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 1,018
Default

Ear wax is a huge reason for hearing loss. The doctor always checks for that first. It is really gross sometimes there is so much. So many times that is all they need. I have noticed more men seem to have the problem of excessive ear wax than women. Just my unscientific observation.
Rainy Day Stamper is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-15-2011, 07:47 AM   #20
Pearl-ExPert
 
thwacker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Beautiful Michigan
Posts: 2,002
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 53queenbee View Post
Have not read the whole thread but....

We had a hearing problem here and guess what? It is kinda of gross but not 'fungus' like you think. My husband had a fungus infection in his ears. Weird but true and the cure is boric acid ADMINISTERED BY A DOCTOR. He hears perfectly now and I kind miss the last year...I could call him names and he heard nothing...

Anyway, you can get an ear fungus by something as simple as a Q-Tip. It took less than 24 hours for him to hear again after Y E A R S of having a problem.

Ear fungus...i am NOT lying!
LOL Maybe I don't want him to get his ears checked.
__________________
There is NO vaccine against Stupidity!
thwacker is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Old 04-17-2011, 10:51 PM   #21
Cardstock Collector
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1
Default

I'm new in here, Hope to enjoy this forum.
__________________
watch movies online for free
medanum6298 is offline  
Tweet this Post! Share on Facebook Reddit!! Pin on Pinterest! Share on Google+!
Reply With Quote
Reply





Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off