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Old 10-17-2010, 07:44 PM   #801
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Thanks. My eye swelling is going down and I can see again out of it. Not too much bruising either. About 30 tiny stitches across my eye lid and they cut the muscle right below the eye brow. That is what hurts. It only hurts at about a level 6 now. That I can tolerate. Chest pain is down to about a 4. So I guess that is great news (said sarcastically).

Victoria, I sent you a PM with my FB name.

Take care everyone and thanks for the uplifting posts. I want to be a survivor but can't shake the fears that come with my aggressive, worst grade and then Triple Negative BC. How lucky can I get anyway????

I still worry about Mark. He has a colonoscopy and an Endoscopy on Wed. Fingers are crossed all will go well. We have not been too lucky lately.

Love and HUGS
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Old 10-19-2010, 01:27 PM   #802
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Sammie, I wouldn't be able to shake the fears also. Best wishes for Mark tomorrow. How is your eye and chest doing? You are both in my thoughts. <hugs hugs hugs>
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Old 10-19-2010, 04:45 PM   #803
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Sammie, I wouldn't be able to shake the fears also. Best wishes for Mark tomorrow. How is your eye and chest doing? You are both in my thoughts. <hugs hugs hugs>
Thanks Sophie. I am getting a kind of migraine right behind the surgical eye every day. I see the surgeon on Thursday for my post-op. I don't know if it is related to the surgery or not. I am so tired of pain. My chest is fine most of the time. Much better after surgery. Tomorrow is the day for Mark's colonoscopy and endoscopy. He drank that gallon of stuff (Go Lightly) to clean him out and is ready for both procedures.

Thanks for the hugs. Right back at you.
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Old 10-20-2010, 10:39 PM   #804
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Sammie, best wishes for the post-op today. I'm glad your chest is fine most of the time now. When will you know the results for Mark's tests? How are you handling the surgical eye migraines?? Hang in there! <hugs>
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Old 10-21-2010, 05:03 AM   #805
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Sammie,

I have missed you on SCS and am so very, very sorry to hear of yours and Mark's continued struggles. I appreciate your updates letting us know your progress.

I am sending you a big, warm, all consuming, New Jersey Italian hug.

Sharon
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Old 10-22-2010, 11:04 AM   #806
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Sammie, best wishes for the post-op today. I'm glad your chest is fine most of the time now. When will you know the results for Mark's tests? How are you handling the surgical eye migraines?? Hang in there! <hugs>
Mark's colonoscopy was not good. They were able to cut out 3 polyps but there is a very large one mostly hidden in a crease that had developed. The DR called Mark's surgeon as he said that these always have to be taken out along with the part of the colon where it is attached to. But the surgeon said he can't operate there as there is too much radiation damage in that area. The reason Mark’s surgeon doesn't want to operate is that he would have to take out colon and the radiation has destroyed good colon and he has to reattach it to colon that has not been radiated. Mark doesn’t have much if any left.

So, right now Mark will be having a colonoscopy every 4-6 weeks where the DR will try to cut and burn off pieces and try and get as much as he can at that time. It will turn malignant over time. The gastro DR. is not sure he can get it all and then it will have to be thrown back to the surgeon whether he likes it or not.

They were also supposed to do an endoscopy but after 3 hours they ran out of time. He was hospitalized with a bleeding ulcer about a month ago. The DR said that the colon is much more important than the ulcer right now. We are waiting for the biopsies to come back.

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Old 10-22-2010, 11:07 AM   #807
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Damn Sammie - that sucks! I wish Mark the best over the coming months.
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Old 10-22-2010, 12:51 PM   #808
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Oh Sammie, your update this round has brought frustrated tears to my eyes. I can't imagine the daily struggle you two are dealing with. I wish I had more strength to offer. How does a pity party with lots of crying and hugging sound? I'm in!

Hugs of comfort to both of you.
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Old 10-22-2010, 02:21 PM   #809
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Sammie, that sucks big time. Sorry to hear that. I'm glad they were able to remove three of them anyway. When will the endoscopy be? How was your own post-op? <hugs and more hugs>
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Old 02-15-2012, 01:22 PM   #810
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Wow. It has been a long time since i have posted about breast cancer. I think I have tried to forget it. But it is back in my face as I have to have another breast mastectomy on March 7th. More cancer spots. Hoepfully this time the tumors won't be as big but I still have to go through all the expander pain and the drain tube when I go home - 3 months worth. I wanted to visit my grandkids and daughter in Portland first but I am not sure I can make it. My other daughter and family are serving in the Air Force and are in the Netherlands right now. I won't make it there this summer like I wanted to.

It's interesting, but I had a private blog last time and reading it brought back a lot of good and bad memories. I will do it again and them maybe write that book I have wanted to.
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:16 PM   #811
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Sammie, my heart skipped a beat when I saw you had posted again here. Oh how I wish I could take this all away for you. I love you. I support you in any choices you make and will always send virtual hugs out to you when you need them. I'm home most of the day with the kids so if you EVER need an ear email me or find me around.

I'm angry that once again I have to tell you that you'll get through this. I would love nothing more than for you to only have to get through a good book or a bag of candy...
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:29 PM   #812
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Sammie, I'm so sorry to hear this. I had thought of you from time to time and wondered how you were, and hoped that no news was good news. I hope everything goes well for you and that the spots are small. How horrible that this is back. I hope Mark has gotten through the 2010 colon stuff all right.
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:33 PM   #813
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Sammie - my thoughts are with you (as they have been for a loooong time). I really wish you and your hubby could catch a break. ((hugs))
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Old 02-15-2012, 03:27 PM   #814
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Thanks. I am not as scared as the first time, I have demanded not only mamograms, which didn't show a large tumor before, but MRIs. So they did 2 1/2 hours of the MRIs and then followed that with 22 mammograms on the one breast and they saw the small spots. You wouldn't believe how bruised I was. I got call backs from both places. Hopefully I won't have to have chemo as I can't have 2 of them anyway that I had before. I wish I would have had a bilateral done 4 years ago if I had known that my tumor was so big. I But I didn't. I am having a different surgeon (female) who only does breast surgery and a reconstruction DR who only does breasts this time. I am not looking forward to the tubes and pain, but it's worth it if I can see my grandkids grow up.

Mark still has a lot of bowel obstructions from the colon cancer radiation damage and shakes a lot from the chemo. He was unlucky with both. But he was lucky in that I still have him and he has survived this long.
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Old 02-15-2012, 03:37 PM   #815
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I am in awe of all the love and strength you have. You're effing amazing Sammie
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Old 02-15-2012, 03:51 PM   #816
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It sounds like you're much better informed and more confident this time around. I hope both you and Mark survive and thrive to see your grandkids grow up.
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Old 02-17-2012, 03:00 AM   #817
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Sammie, my thoughts are with you and Mark.

As Sophie said, both of you have survived with so much strength, grace, honesty and laughter. No one deserves what both of you have gone through.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Yet again. I wish I could carry some of the pain for you to give you a break. I'm sending you every healing wish and prayer, and all my love.
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Old 02-17-2012, 05:53 AM   #818
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Sammie,

My heart just breaks for you and your husband. I am a breast cancer survivor and followed you on scs as a lurker as I had my treatments same time as you. I just could not bring myself to post at all. I am so sad that you have to make this detour on your life's journey yet again. This time you are armed with the information you learned, and earned, from the first time. May God surround you with skilled medical professionals and some really great friends and family to help you through it. Jeanne
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Old 02-17-2012, 12:26 PM   #819
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Aw, Sammy. I've missed talking to you and seeing you in CE.

This is so disheartening but I am SOOO glad you are better equipped this time.

Now that I have finally dug out my craft room, I can finally get back to my little project for you. I might even be able to get it done and shipped before your surgery--but don't count on it. I get so distracted so easily!

And if you don't write a book, maybe you can do an artist journal type thingy instead.

Please give Mark my love and don't forget to take your share of it too! I sincerely hope you both see brighter days ahead. You guys have been through the wringer too dang many times.

Love,
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Old 02-17-2012, 07:59 PM   #820
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Hugs and healing thoughts for you, Sammie! You are a role model for me, I admire you greatly, thank you for letting us know how you are doing, no matter how hard it was for you to post!

{{{{{{{{Sammie}}}}}}}}
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Old 02-23-2012, 06:46 PM   #821
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Good luck to you Sammie with your upcoming surgeries. You do sound a lot stronger this time. Always checking this thread out, even if I don't post. I bet there are many of us who are watching from the wings.
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:03 AM   #822
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Thank you everyone. I miss coming here every day and I really miss so many of you. Lately I haven't had the strength. I am 4 days out of surgery and really hurt a lot as they dug around in my armpit to find those 2 errant lymph nodes and had to make a big incision to get them out. They got the 2 spots in the breast and have sent in the 2 arm pit lymph nodes for further evaluation. I had forgotten how much this hurts until I read my private blog last time and the memories came flooding back. I guess that is why we have more than one child. Our brain helps us forget the pain and we happily decide to go through it again

I am all taped up and have 2 drains that I have to empty and measure twice a day. The binder was cutting into the incision in my armpit, so last night I kind of made my own. Hopefully it will still be tight enough so I don't get a blood clot. With all the incision lines on my chest, I look like a road map

Thank you all for caring about me. My family seems to have forgotten both my surgery and my birthday today. Not my kids and grand kids, just my 6 sisters and mother. Oh well, that is life I guess. The pain meds make me more in a "poor me" stage. I'll get over it soon - or util I stop taking pain meds which won't be for a while.

Next Wed. thay start to fill the expander once a week for about 2-3 months and then 2 more surgeries and I AM DONE.

I can't stop saying thank you but know from the bottom of my heart I really mean it. Sorry about any mis-spellings but I don't even have the energy to re-read it.
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Old 03-11-2012, 10:17 AM   #823
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Hugs, hugs, and more gentle hugs to you Sammie! Healing birthday wishes to you!!
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Old 03-11-2012, 09:03 PM   #824
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Belated birthday wishes to you Sammie! And I wish you a fast and easy healing from the surgery! HUGS!
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:42 AM   #825
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Today is one of those "feel sorry for myself day". The pain level has increased on the lfet mastectomy site and I am so very tired. I guess depressed is a better word. I just want all of this to end - one way of the other.

Reading your posts have stopped the tears and I can struggle on now. Thank you.

With lots of love, Sammie
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Old 03-16-2012, 08:30 PM   #826
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Hi Sammie,

I haven't seen this thread before, and I don't think I know you from around SCS (I'm kinda new-ish here), but are you open to getting some cheery cards in the mail?

I'm in Madison, so a card from me to you would be pretty quick if you're in WI.
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Old 03-16-2012, 09:10 PM   #827
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Yes, I am 10 miles north of Madison. I am up late tonight as I think I am depressed. If I remember right this has happened after all of my surgeries. In between the 2 mastectomies, I ad 2 knee surgeries and 2 back surgeries.

I too a nasty fall tonight. I had a cord plugged in and with my back turned it flashed and made a loud noise. Before I could barely react a larger flame shot out of the same plug. I fell over the open dishwasher door and fell into a wood back stool - on my surgical side of course. Because I am still measuring the blood that comes out, it went from a rose red to a bright red so I knew I was bleeding internally. I took out 80 CC's of blood. It has now changed back to rose.

But the pain in general is bad even before I fell. They were digging for 2 errant lymph nodes and that area is very painful. They got the 4 in total early this time so I am not sure shat is ahead. All I have ever wanted is to see my grandkids graduate from HS. I want to make it.

Thank you everyone for thinking of me and hoping for the best.
Maybe some of us that are close can hook up close to Madison some time. I need people therapy. Love to all of you.
Where are you RS when I need you.

Sammie
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Old 03-16-2012, 09:44 PM   #828
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Will PM you for your address if you're ok - card should arrive very soon and hopefully make you smile. It sounds like you've been through a lot between your health issues and your husbands - I think you've got the right to feel overwhelmed or depressed every now and then (especially when you're in pain after a fall...ouch!), but it sounds like you have friends and family that care and support you so that you can hopefully feel more positive about your recovery soon.
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Old 03-18-2012, 06:34 AM   #829
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Oh gosh Sammie! I am horrified by your falling!! And the cord causing a fire!! Are you stabilized now?? Please make sure that outlet is taken care of! It sounds like a safety hazard! I am so worried about you.
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Old 04-10-2012, 01:15 PM   #830
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Thank you for the cards and kind words. After 4 weeks, the 2nd tube was finally pulled out. Now there is just pain left, but not too bad. It only hurts if I use that rm. I had yo remove my wedding rings because of mild swelling down my arm due to lymph node removal.

In 2 weeks, I am scheduled to start the expander filling. That will take a while as they are going to do it slowly on a weekly basis. I hope I am done with cancer and can get on with my life. Also thank you for the kind words for Mark. He is doing OK. He still gets bowel obstructions from the radiation damage, but right now he is doing fair.
Thank you.
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Old 04-11-2012, 07:56 AM   #831
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Hugs to you Sammie! Hopefully the pain and swelling will fade. Hugs to Mark too.
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:19 AM   #832
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Sammie,

I just wanted to thank you for our conversation last evening. It really meant a lot to me. Your love and your support came through in abundance.

Soft hugs to you.

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Old 04-12-2012, 12:36 PM   #833
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RS,
You can call me anytime day or night. You have been on my mind all day. I wish I lived closer but I will be only a second away by phone.
Love and hugs to you too.
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When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. -- Harriet Beecher Stowe
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Old 04-19-2012, 01:18 PM   #834
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Sammie, after weeks--months!--I finally got your package off to you in the mail yesterday. I sent it Priority so it would get there sooner. Actually, it was only 18 more for Priority than Parcel Post and PP took 5 days as opposed to 2 days for Priority.

I'm such a BIG SPENDER!

LOL!

RS
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Old 04-19-2012, 01:53 PM   #835
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You two ladies make my heart swell. MWAH!

Hugs and kisses to both of you
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:28 AM   #836
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Love you Rainsong. The wall hanging is beautiful and I LOVE it. I think of you every day. Take care and call me anytime you need to.

I still have pain and swelling. This is getting frustrating. I was supposed to go and have the 1st fill of the expander tomorrow, but I cancelled for 2 weeks because I don't need more pain.

My mother has been in the hospital following surgery again and at a re-hab center for the last week. She will come home Friday and will need care. I am exhausted as I have a brain damaged brother who lives with my mother and I have been going there every day too to make sure he has meals and some company. Then off to see my mother. I do have 4 sisters in the area but they all took off for Vegas leaving me here to fend for myself with everything. Not nice.

Oh well, I'll stop complaining as I love my brother dearly. We are only 13 months apart and I spent my childhood defending him from kids that were making fun of him. He actually is quite smart in ways that I am not. He has had a poem or prayer published and does math. He gets the right answer but I have not figured out yet - by looking at his work - how he does it.

Anyway, thanks again RS and everyone who has thought of me and Mark. We both are getting by OK.
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Sammie # 7651

When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. -- Harriet Beecher Stowe
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Old 04-25-2012, 12:13 PM   #837
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Wow Sammie, you've got a LOT to deal with!! I'm so sorry that you got stuck with such an unpleasant family - except for your brother! He and your mom are lucky to have you. I hope your mom is treating you better. I hope the pain and swelling go away soon. Hugs to you and Mark.
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Old 04-25-2012, 04:36 PM   #838
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sewsplendidstamper View Post
You two ladies make my heart swell. MWAH!

Hugs and kisses to both of you
Honey, you don't see me sobbing in the shower. Sammie is my Rock.

In order to not usurp Sammie's thread, I should start my own--tomorrow if all goes well overnight. Tonight, I'm too pooped.

Rainsong
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Old 04-25-2012, 04:42 PM   #839
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samantha View Post
Love you Rainsong. The wall hanging is beautiful and I LOVE it. I think of you every day. Take care and call me anytime you need to.

I still have pain and swelling. This is getting frustrating. I was supposed to go and have the 1st fill of the expander tomorrow, but I cancelled for 2 weeks because I don't need more pain.

My mother has been in the hospital following surgery again and at a re-hab center for the last week. She will come home Friday and will need care. I am exhausted as I have a brain damaged brother who lives with my mother and I have been going there every day too to make sure he has meals and some company. Then off to see my mother. I do have 4 sisters in the area but they all took off for Vegas leaving me here to fend for myself with everything. Not nice.

Oh well, I'll stop complaining as I love my brother dearly. We are only 13 months apart and I spent my childhood defending him from kids that were making fun of him. He actually is quite smart in ways that I am not. He has had a poem or prayer published and does math. He gets the right answer but I have not figured out yet - by looking at his work - how he does it.

Anyway, thanks again RS and everyone who has thought of me and Mark. We both are getting by OK.
I'm so glad you like it, Sammie. My biggest problem was finding the right quote.

As you can imagine, life had been extremely busy lately and I've not had the energy to answer your email. I'll do it here, on a new thread, but it will have to wait until tomorrow. I'm truly too exhausted tonight.

Gently hugs, my friend. Tell your family to go suck eggs.

Rainsong
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Old 05-01-2012, 06:19 AM   #840
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Just when you think it is safe to take a deep breath:

Mark was admitted to the hospital IMC thru the ER yesterday. He started throwing up blood again Sat. night and then pain set in on Sunday. They also found blood in the stool so he is losing blood somewhere.

He called at 10PM last night and they were going to give him 2 units of blood as his hemoglobin had drastically gone down during the day.

There are 2 problems. One is the bleeding and the other is the blockages that are coming sooner and sooner compared to a year ago. Now it is on a weekly basis of throwing up and then going to liquids for a few days. He is having trouble eating most foods and drinks a lot of Boost type drinks with nutrition and calories.

Originally they said he would be there overnight but now I am not sure.

I think we are going to try and sell the house when he gets stronger. It is getting harder and harder.

Rainsong, I am thinking about you and Butch every day tioo.
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Sammie # 7651

When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. -- Harriet Beecher Stowe
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