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Old 05-13-2008, 10:01 AM   #441
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Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. Hang in there sweetie!
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Old 05-13-2008, 10:43 AM   #442
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Sammie, you are in my thoughts today and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow as well. Good luck tomorrow!! {{{{{{{{{{{[hugs!}}}}}}}}}}}}
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Old 05-13-2008, 10:58 AM   #443
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Good luck tomorrow, Sammie. I'll be thinking of you and hoping your recovery is smoother this time.
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Old 05-13-2008, 12:47 PM   #444
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{{{{hugs}}}} Sammie, and prayers that tomorrow's surgery will go smoothly--and that they give you lots of pain meds during and afterwards. I sure hope that someone can look at your knee while you are there, too.


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Old 05-13-2008, 04:11 PM   #445
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Sammie, HUGE HUGS for you for tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you!!! You are so brave and an inspiration to so many of us!
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Old 05-13-2008, 04:27 PM   #446
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Sammie,

Any time I'm worried about something, my friend Frank always comes through for me. He repeats, "It'll be fine. It'll be fine."

And to ensure all will be well for you, I'm doing a wellness dance for you.



Love and hugs!

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Old 05-14-2008, 07:20 PM   #447
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Deleted 'cause Mark (Or Sammie) just posted!

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Last edited by Rainsong; 05-14-2008 at 07:24 PM..
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:21 PM   #448
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Hi,

Our day started with a little scare. Sammie’s knee has been severely painful since the arthroscopic surgery. She told her surgeon about it and he became concerned that her knee might be infected and that the surgery should be delayed. After a few calls to other docs and some last minute blood tests he was convinced it was safe to do the surgery.

The surgery took about the time he estimated. Sammie was in recovery only about an hour and a half (not 9+). We expect her to come home tomorrow (Thursday).

More (and perky) later.

Mark
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:27 PM   #449
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OK Rainsong, I know I may be a little slow at switching from email to SC but how did you beat me at my own post!! )

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Old 05-14-2008, 07:47 PM   #450
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Hi,

I just talked to Sammie and she set me straight about how Rainsong does it and how effecient and kind her SC friends are.
It still sounds wierd to me

Mark
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:51 PM   #451
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I hope her pain level has gone down!!! Holding my breath to find out... And I'm going to take it as a good sign that she was only in recovery for 1.5 hours instead of 9!
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:57 PM   #452
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Quote:
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OK Rainsong, I know I may be a little slow at switching from email to SC but how did you beat me at my own post!! )

Mark
Alll I did was cut and paste your email but after I posted, yours showed up so I deleted mine.

Oh, and I always have my email open so it speeds things up.

Hope Sammie is feeling much better!

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Old 05-15-2008, 04:36 AM   #453
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Sammie - I'm so glad that surgery went well!! Big hugs for both Mark & Sammie!!
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Old 05-15-2008, 07:47 AM   #454
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Sammie,

VERY glad to hear the surgery went well and I hope they can look at your knee while they've got you near all the big diagnostic machines.

Mark,

thank you not only for caring for Sammie and being there for her but for taking the time to reassure all of her friends.

Very warmest wishes to both of you, and for a speedy recovery for Sammie.
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Old 05-15-2008, 08:14 AM   #455
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Mark that exchange between you and RS just gave me the biggest giggle. It's so nice to hear a bit of silliness in your posts. You and Sammie hae been through a tremendous amount of pain and stress and for you both to remain so, dare I say, perky is wonderfully inspiring.

Sammie, I'm glad that your surgery and recovery was quicker than anticipated. Seems you'll be on the road to 100% again very soon. You might even need to do a US tour to meet us all in person
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Old 05-15-2008, 02:28 PM   #456
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I am home. Between naps I will try and type this out. Rainsong, Mark was just kidding you a lot last night. He called me after he posted everything and he was laughing so hard I couldn’t understand him. He had typed out 2 e-mails almost identical. One was with my real name and the name I use here. Rainsong is on both e-mails lists. So you posted right before he could switch the names. He just thought he would try and kid you and rattle your cage just cause' I wasn’t home to irritate. You can always post what you have received as there may be a time when I die before it gets to SCS second.

My knee was so painful and swollen that is almost stopped the breast surgery from going forward. he doc left the room for a few minutes and I broke down in Mark's arms and just cried. The doc decided to do it and I survived. If was a wonderful state to be totally pain free for 36 hours in the hospital . Now I am back to pain pills and ice bags. The surgeon had some trouble after he took out the expander under the muscle in the area where the breast was. The skin was so thin that it ripped open after he placed the implant in so he took it out and cut the skin out and try and sew the 2 good skin areas together. A new scar but I don’t really care.

Sorry I fell asleep.

He then did a lift on the other breast and I am not bigger but I look OK. Hopefully there is not a lot of swelling or I really won’t be that “perky” after all.

I hope this is this end of all the hospital stays as I am really tired of it all. I want to be like other women I see that can walk around the block, go shopping, eat lunch out with friends etc. I just want that back. My hair is coming back though. It is almost a 1/4 inch now. I am wondering how to style it. I nurse rubbed my head as she wheeled my out of my room this morning. I said,” Wait, you messed up my hair and I have t go back and comb it”. She looked at me funny until she realized that it was a joke.

Picture me. I have an ice pack on each side of my chest, an ice pack on the upper muscle part of my knee and an ice pack across the top of my knee. I am so cute. I had to promise to stay in bed with my knee up for a week. Well, I told Mark not exactly bed. I can sit in a recliner with pillows under my knee and that counts cause' the doc said so. I got that weird look from DH but I am used to that. I need my computer and I don’t want to use the laptop.

Thanks again for all the concern, words of encouragement, hugs and thoughts and prayers. You are keeping me going.

Love and major HUGS to all of you. Especially to Rainsong who had to endure my husbands “so called” send of humor. We are 8 months short of being married 40 years and I am still trying to “get it”. I just laugh and give him that “look”.
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Old 05-15-2008, 03:18 PM   #457
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Sammy, so good to see you are doing well! Did they have anything else to say/ do about your knee, or just rest? I am glad you weren't in recovery very long also. Hang in there girl, we'll do lunch/breakfast soon!
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Old 05-16-2008, 06:53 AM   #458
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Hi Sammie, I'm so glad you had those 36 pain-free hours! Hopefully soon you will have more pain-free hours, free from ice packs!
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Old 05-16-2008, 07:05 AM   #459
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samantha View Post
I am home. Between naps I will try and type this out. Rainsong, Mark was just kidding you a lot last night. He called me after he posted everything and he was laughing so hard I couldn’t understand him. He had typed out 2 e-mails almost identical. One was with my real name and the name I use here. Rainsong is on both e-mails lists. So you posted right before he could switch the names. He just thought he would try and kid you and rattle your cage just cause' I wasn’t home to irritate. You can always post what you have received as there may be a time when I die before it gets to SCS second.

My knee was so painful and swollen that is almost stopped the breast surgery from going forward. he doc left the room for a few minutes and I broke down in Mark's arms and just cried. The doc decided to do it and I survived. If was a wonderful state to be totally pain free for 36 hours in the hospital . Now I am back to pain pills and ice bags. The surgeon had some trouble after he took out the expander under the muscle in the area where the breast was. The skin was so thin that it ripped open after he placed the implant in so he took it out and cut the skin out and try and sew the 2 good skin areas together. A new scar but I don’t really care.

Sorry I fell asleep.

He then did a lift on the other breast and I am not bigger but I look OK. Hopefully there is not a lot of swelling or I really won’t be that “perky” after all.

I hope this is this end of all the hospital stays as I am really tired of it all. I want to be like other women I see that can walk around the block, go shopping, eat lunch out with friends etc. I just want that back. My hair is coming back though. It is almost a 1/4 inch now. I am wondering how to style it. I nurse rubbed my head as she wheeled my out of my room this morning. I said,” Wait, you messed up my hair and I have t go back and comb it”. She looked at me funny until she realized that it was a joke.

Picture me. I have an ice pack on each side of my chest, an ice pack on the upper muscle part of my knee and an ice pack across the top of my knee. I am so cute. I had to promise to stay in bed with my knee up for a week. Well, I told Mark not exactly bed. I can sit in a recliner with pillows under my knee and that counts cause' the doc said so. I got that weird look from DH but I am used to that. I need my computer and I don’t want to use the laptop.

Thanks again for all the concern, words of encouragement, hugs and thoughts and prayers. You are keeping me going.

Love and major HUGS to all of you. Especially to Rainsong who had to endure my husbands “so called” send of humor. We are 8 months short of being married 40 years and I am still trying to “get it”. I just laugh and give him that “look”.
Maybe in 8 months' time it will all suddenly become clear. Glad you're home and sounding so much better, Sammie!
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:17 AM   #460
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Well, I still have ice packs on my knee and chest. The bleeding has stopped around all the incisions. I counted and there are 7 of them on my chest. This is gross, so feel free to stop reading now if you don't want to read further.

The surgeon cut out my n*pple on the only side I have one and that is where the bleeding was coming from. He apparently moved it after he did the lift. The there is a very long incision coming down from where he did the above surgery and is about 4 inches long. I have been trying to put 4 x 4 cotton gauze bandaging anywhere there is an incision. They gave me a sports bra to wear but it was so very tight when I zipped it up in the front. He said I could use my own which allow me to breathe better. There is also the incision where he took out the Port.

On the mastectomy side, there is a weird looking incision where my skin broke apart when he tried to put in the implant. During the mastectomy surgery they had to cut out the tissue and skin so I had really thin skin on that side. So he placed a smaller implant in (boo) and made the incision straight across the middle of where the breast would have been. Then there is an incision on the side of where the implant went. I have no clue what the other ones are for though. I am just full of stitches.

I am a little disappointed in how I will look. My breasts, what there are of them, are a little high and very full on the sides but not so much on sticking out in the front. Bummer. But you know what. I am glad to be alive and hopefully done with cancer surgery. I am scared though.

I saw the articles in the news about taking Vitamin D as a preventive for recurrences and deaths from the recurrences. Scary to me because my level of Vit. D in my body is low. I am going to try and get about 15 minutes from the sun every day it is out. This is bad for my lupus but other than supplements which may not be as affective, I don't know what else to do. The article also talked about having a good level of Vit. D as a preventive. When you ladies go in for your yearly check up, ask for a Vit D level in your body. If it is low, ask what to do about it. OK. I am off my soap box.

My chest doesn’t hurt that much just my knee. My surgeon said that it is possible that there is a small piece of material floating around in the knee that didn't get aspirated out from the surgery. I hope not as that would be another small surgery to get it out. Nope - I am not going to even think about that. Maybe I am just a super slow healer because of the steroids I take and who knows what else.

Wow. I seemed to have written another "volume". I am not sure why I am so wordy.

Have a great day everyone.
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:36 AM   #461
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Hi Samantha! I'm glad your chest doesn't hurt that much. Hopefully your knee will heal and hopefully there is nothing in there!!! *grin* You are so wordy 'cause you know we all want to know what's up with you. And thanks for the Vitamin D advice.
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Old 05-17-2008, 08:37 AM   #462
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Good morning Sammie!

it's a pleasure to see you up and writing volumes!!! Although I'm very sorry to hear your knee still bothers you. Though as you said, one day at a time. While I'd hate for your recovery to continue slowly, I hope your knee is just lollygagging about instead of getting itself better.

VERY glad to hear that you now have the surgeries behind you. You sound so relieved to be done and moving forward. Very warmest wishes for continued and speedy healing, and please tell Mark thank you again for keeping us posted.

(((HUGS))) and very warmest wishes!
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Old 05-17-2008, 09:24 AM   #463
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Hi Sammie! It's GREAT to hear your update! Sure sounds like you are on the road to recovery now.....you just take care of yourself! Maybe your boobs will plump out a little after you recover more

Thanks for the update! ((((((((HUGS))))))))))
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Old 05-19-2008, 05:33 PM   #464
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Sammy, things getting any better? Give us an update when you feel up to it!!!!!
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Old 05-23-2008, 10:03 AM   #465
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I've been thinking of you soo often these last feew days Sammie. I hope all is well and you are continuing to recover nicely.
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Old 06-10-2008, 06:46 AM   #466
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I haven't posted here in a while. I had knee surgery about 7 weeks ago and the pain is still unbelievable. It hurts more now than it did before the surgery. The surgeon said he "doesn't do pain - only surgery". He said he ha done 5000 of these and doesn't make mistakes. I didn’t accuse him of making a mistake. I just wondered if I might have a new tear. He kind of just patted my head and said "never".

The pain clinic is trying to deal with this but I don't want to be a zombie so I am really suffering. They did say they would do an MRI if it is still so swollen and painful in about a month. Oh, the surgeon said my knee wasn't swollen but he didn't compare it to the other one. What a dope.

Well I am way off topic. I made an emergency trip to reconstruction surgeon yesterday as I have developed several 2-3 inch long ripples that start by the incision where my skin broke open during surgery. He had to cut out that area and pull healthy skin together and sew it. He said the skin there now is only 2 mm thick and the muscle is also very thin and they had to cut it out in the original surgery to cut out the tumor.

Anyway, he said the ripples will form due to the skin problem. But if I wear a bra that holds it tight it will push the implant up a little and they go away. I guess they are here to stay. I am not a big person and I have worn a sports bra or no bra forever. I want to keep being able to go braless at home.

My hair is coming in -white. It is about 1/4 inch long and I like the color. I like how I look even with hardly any hair. I don't like that someone called me a dike the other day. I was so stunned I had no response to the dumb guy. But never again. I am ready.

I am just depressed due to the pain and then my mother said the meanest things to me she has ever said in my adult life. It was on the way into the door of a wedding reception and I thought we were in a "happy" mood. I can't say what she said as I don't want to cry but I couldn't even tell Mark for several minutes as I didn't want to sob. I am not bragging, but I am a nice and thoughtful person. So I don't know why she attacked me like she did.

I am hanging in there though.

Love and Hugs.
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Old 06-10-2008, 06:59 AM   #467
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Oh Sammie, I wish I could be there to give you huge HUGS in person!!! I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Don't you sometimes wonder about some Doctors and why they think they are so perfect???? You keep hanging in there and just know that you have lots of good thoughts coming your way! And remember this is a great place for you to vent to all your friends!!!
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Old 06-10-2008, 07:02 AM   #468
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Sammie, I am hurting for you. Your surgeon sounds so freakin' arrogant! But I hope he is right that you don't have a new tear.

I'm also sorry that you had to be exposed to the dumb guy. What a jerk.

Sorry too, about your mother. Sometimes family sucks.
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Old 06-10-2008, 07:12 AM   #469
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Oh Sammie--

I can't even think of what to say. I am appalled at the condescending way you were treated by the surgeon who operated on your knee. "I don't do pain", and "I don't make mistakes"?!?! What an arrogant jerk.

Can you get another opinion, rather than suffering for another month?

And I don't understand how sometimes the people who are supposed to be closest to us can hurt us so badly. I can't imagine hurting my child. I am so sorry that your mom did that to you.

sending you gentle {{{hugs}}} and wishes and prayers for some pain relief and better days soon.

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Old 06-10-2008, 07:34 AM   #470
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Hi Sammie,

Get a second opinion. You don't need the stress of dealing with idiots.

Next time someone calls you a Dyke, just give him the evil eye and tell him, "Yeah, and damn proud of it!" (Who cares what such dolts think?)


As for your mom--well, she's never been too supportive so just put it behind you no matter WHAT she says. If your health difficulties haven't changed her over the years, she's not going to change now. Just let it go.

And realize, there are many, many people on SCS who do love and care about you!

Rainsong
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Old 06-10-2008, 07:37 AM   #471
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samantha View Post
I am a nice and thoughtful person.
I only know you through SCS but I can tell that this is true - and it makes me angry when people treat you badly.
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Old 06-10-2008, 08:46 AM   #472
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Hi Sammie, I'm probably not as nice and thoughtful as you are, because I would love to come to your town and stay just long enough to slap several people, and give you a hug. I'm sorry that you have had such a rough time of it. Hang in there Sammie!

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Old 06-10-2008, 08:54 AM   #473
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Just wanted to pop in -- I only found this thread today but read all of Samantha and Mark's posts (many of Rainsong's too -- what a great friend) -- wow what an amazing journey. I do hope you will feel up to putting it all together into a book some day?? You have given so much information quite freely and openly. So many people could benefit from your experience. You and your husband are so strong and giving. I will continue to read up on you. Here's to wishing you well and full of joy -- a much longer life with NO pain. Good luck with everything!
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Old 06-10-2008, 01:47 PM   #474
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Sammie, I'm nearly speechless. Mean people suck.
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Old 06-10-2008, 06:59 PM   #475
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Sammie...ya know sometimes I am just amazed at the insensivitiy of others. I just don't understand it. Even though I don't know what your mother said, I cannot understand the necessity of hurting you this way. Especially after all you have been through. The only thing I can think of is that you scare her by your strength and grace in dealing with your illness. I am not angry at her, I feel sorry for her. And I am very proud of you for moving on and not letting it envelope you.

In my mind, as I read your posts I invision you with your short gray hair, lying in bed typing to us all. I do hope that you can feel my prayers for you...to give you strength, to give you courage, to give you hope that you will be well again. I am asking God to envelope you and help you survive each day knowing that so many care about you, and want you well again. I also am praying that you experience laughter. Laughter is a great healer, ya know....

Take care sweet Sammie, and please know that so many of us are thinking of you.
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Old 06-10-2008, 07:39 PM   #476
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Dearest Sammie

I read your update this morning and had to step back for a looooong time before I posted. I didn't want to say something rash and disrespectful about your mother. But after waiting all day that urge hasn't gone away. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you are still dealing with pain. I'm sorry that you are having to deal with an insesitive *** of a doctor. I'm sorry that your mom is feeling it's ok to be rude, insensitive and hateful. But I'm happy too. I'm happy that you have beautiful white hair growing in. I'm happy that you are a sweet strong soul and willing to share your story with all of us. I'm happy that there are so many women that have gained such positive joy from you. I'm happy that your relationship with Mark continues to be filled with joy and humor. And I'm happy that your daughter and granddaughter are such a source of love and laughter for you.
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Old 06-11-2008, 04:33 AM   #477
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Sammie,

I am so sad to hear that you're still going through so much--more than anything to hear about the remark from your Mom. I don't know how anyone could be so insensitive when you've gone through so much. I can understand not knowing what to say and maybe making a small gaffe, but I can't understand people who become outright cruel, especially when they try to ignore the consequences of their words, or justify them by saying they were stressed or whatever. It must have really hurt to hear that from someone you love, whose support one would ordinarily so deeply rely on. BIG (((hugs))) to you Sammie.

I'm sorry to hear your knee's still so painful. I agree with RS on getting the scan and second opinion. The surgeon sounds more worried about his 'perfect' reputation than by what you're going through, which doesn't sound either compassionate OR very professional. If it helps, my Mom went through huge problems with her vision after her glaucoma surgery in January. Her surgeon insisted he couldn't have made a mistake in his prescription for post-op glasses. The optician at their local Target found the issue and fixed it in one visit. If your knee's that swollen and you're in that much pain and he doesn't want to hear about it, I'd go looking for a Dr who doesn't go on barge trips down big rivers with Cleopatra, Queen of De Nile...

Sammie, your strength in dealing not only with all you've gone through, but with so many cruel remarks never fails to amaze me. You and Mark are in my prayers and I send very warmest wishes for your continued recovery, and that kindness, warmth and love will surround you throughout your healing. Big (((HUGS))) to you, Sammie.
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Old 06-14-2008, 08:03 AM   #478
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Last night was our town’s Relay for Life. I have thought about going and doing the survivors lap for many months now. The lap is a track lap – 4440 yards or ¼ of a mile. This normally wouldn’t seem like a big deal other than my knee surgery and after surgery problems have sidelined me.

On Thursday I went to my Rheumatologist and he saw the swelling and he asked me why the orthopedic surgeon didn’t aspirate the liquid around the surgical site. He was really upset to find out that the surgeon “doesn’t do pain”. They actually work together in the same HMO and in the same building so I was surprised he showed such angry emotion at the surgeon. Anyway he aspirated a lot of fluid and It made a major difference that day and on Friday - the Relay for Life day.

Most of you know that my DH has colon cancer and I had a Relay team for many years. My DD joined a team for us at her Air Force base in Minot, ND. She raised over 1000.00 just by letting people know she was walking for both of us.

But last night was jut a night for my DH and me to quietly walk the survivors lap, hand in hand: tears running down our cheeks; thoughts that we wanted to be together next year: supporting each other and be a part of something dear to our hearts. Next year my kids and grandkid are al coming back for the Relay and my DDs are going to do the fundraising for our team.

It would have been so emotional lat night if they were there. I missed them so much but they are all coming back in a month. We just didn’t plan on the Relay right this year for all of them and their schedules.

I made it around the track the first time with the survivors but we were way behind everyone because I couldn’t walk that fast. But Mark and I got a standing ovation when we did make it to the finish line – several minutes after everyone else. I then wanted to walk around again so I could read all of the names on the luminary bags. Coming from a small town, the names were all so familiar. We saw our own names a few times from friends. Reading all the names was emotional too.

I hurt so bad today but I will tolerate it much better knowing that today I am a survivor.
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Old 06-14-2008, 08:08 AM   #479
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I am so angry at your surgeon!! Thank goodness for your Rheumatologist!!

It is touching and uplifting to read about the Relay and how you both got a standing ovation. Very touching.
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Old 06-14-2008, 08:10 AM   #480
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Sammy,

Having a hard time reading your post through my tears, but DANG! I'm proud of you!!!

You ARE The Ultimate Survivor!

Humongous hugs to you and to Mark. Give him a kiss from

Rainsong

Carp. Too many tears washed out any mention of your knee. Wish someone would beech slap your surgeon but I'm glad your rheumatologist made it possible for you and Mark to participate in the relay. Stay off your feet today!
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