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Old 01-06-2013, 06:26 AM   #1921
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Jane, I think you nailed it on physical beauty.

My ex hubby was quite handsome, but shallow and had a vengeful streak.

If I was 'in the market' now, I would look for kind, fun to talk to, and handy around the house with little fix-ups, LOL
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Old 01-06-2013, 06:27 AM   #1922
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Leaving soon to meet the walking group ladies for dim-sum in Chinatown. We're meeting at Leona's and carpooling down.

Jane -- we have to be sure to do that while you are here. It's over 30 minutes, but hey
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Old 01-06-2013, 06:28 AM   #1923
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I will say, the walking group ladies haven't done too much walking lately, LOL
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Old 01-06-2013, 06:30 AM   #1924
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I did not have a good week foodwise. I skipped the WW weigh-in this morning. I know that is absolutely the wrong behavior.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:21 AM   #1925
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I did not have a good week foodwise. I skipped the WW weigh-in this morning. I know that is absolutely the wrong behavior.
It really is such an ongoing, lifetime struggle, isn't it?

And it's hard because we all have to wake up and recommit every single morning, accept that we may not get it right every day, and work to build that balance between genuinely enjoying life, but not letting that enjoyment get out of hand when it becomes unhealthy. One thing I admire so much about you and Wrose is how much you've stuck with it. That's really kept me going. I figure even if I only keep managing a pound or so a month, over 4 or 5 years, that's still going to be way better, and way better for me, then giving up because it's always hard.
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:22 AM   #1926
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Leaving soon to meet the walking group ladies for dim-sum in Chinatown. We're meeting at Leona's and carpooling down.

Jane -- we have to be sure to do that while you are here. It's over 30 minutes, but hey
Holy cow. For good Dim Sum, I'd drive to... North Dakota, LOL!
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Old 01-06-2013, 09:58 AM   #1927
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Jane, I think you nailed it on physical beauty.

My ex hubby was quite handsome, but shallow and had a vengeful streak.

If I was 'in the market' now, I would look for kind, fun to talk to, and handy around the house with little fix-ups, LOL
There's a great line in Collette to the effect that extreme beauty doesn't generate any sympathy. What surprised me about the line when I read the book is that it was written about a male character. I do think it has to be hard when everyone looks at you and thinks 'sure, YOU couldn't possibly have ANY problems.' I think it's got to be pretty isolating to have people just look at you and project all their own hopes or insecurities on to you just because of how you look. I guess people who are very wealthy or famous must go through a lot of that too.

I think one thing that's tough about being normal looking in our time is that the culture all around us really makes no place at all for normal looking. When I was growing up and we'd visit my grandparents, the actors on the BBC programs all looked like normal people. Some were awesome looking some were average looking. Walter Cronkite did not look like a matinee idol. Today you can't watch the weather without someone who looks like they came straight from central casting with bleached teeth telling you it will rain tomorrow, let alone see an ad for toilet paper or a car or beer without all these people who are, statistically speaking in terms of their weight and looks, freaks. The 2-3% of people we see in the media for the most part don't look a whole lot like the rest of us. The rare person on TV or in a movie who does is almost always the character-actor quirky pal. That's just an unrelenting HUGE message that basically, if you don't look fantastic, you don't matter, except possibly in some sort of a goofy and marginal way.

I think it's slowly getting a little worse even for guys. Sean Connery as Bond in the 60s had a physique pretty much like my Dad's--your average athletic guy who's stayed in shape. Back then, Marilyn Monroe was a size 14, too. Don't get me wrong, I'll sit next to anyone drooling over Daniel Craig, but there's no way he's ripped like that without hours in the gym doing very specialized exercises. People who look like Peter Falk or Karl Malden aren't the heroes on detective shows any more.

I just find it kind of insidious and discouraging the extent to which normal looking people don't really show up much at all in the media any more. I know that keeping everyone insecure all the time is a great way to sell stuff (like that stupid Crest ad: if you're not doing anything but whitening your teeth RIGHT THIS MINUTE, they're getting yellow and DISGUSTING, how can you possibly have a great glass of wine with your friend or eat Christmas dinner WHEN YOU'RE GETTING MORE REPULSIVE BY THE SECOND????) but it's not a great way to encourage people to be realistic about what's out there. We have shows about who's the hottest, but who's the kindest or most decent doesn't seem to matter much going by what you see on TV.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:39 AM   #1928
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Wow. The pond is deep today!
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:40 AM   #1929
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Every time you post about that I have this vision of Pippin wearing an aluminum foil hat...
Now that's funny! But who needs a hat! Ha ha ha


He will just be sitting there and all of a sudden, take off at 90 mph, running from one end of a room or hall or whatever, to another. Sometimes it involves a run up onto the couch and off again, bouncing off the back of the couch. It's time to just get out of the way. lol
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:42 AM   #1930
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I think you and Wrose are spot-on about that. One of my friends in the 90s talked me into doing personal-ad dating. It felt like going on a bunch of job interviews. Plus I found a lot of the guys doing ads kind of drew a big X in the 'I would be interested' column the minute they realized I was bigger around than a pencil. I'm pretty fit just not thin. It got kind of discouraging that they weren't REALLY looking for someone who could finish a 10 mile hike or paddle unless the person had also decided to stop eating in 1983 and consumed nothing but lettuce, apples and broccoli stalks since then.

Which is fine. I mean, striking beauty is... well, it's very captivating. Considering that I've flown across the country and over to Europe to go visit it, I'm not going to harsh on any guy for wanting it, or feeling that he absolutely must be with a striking woman. I know that's not who I am. I know I feel way more relaxed and myself in situations where you can get to know the person with no pressure, and that's definitely friendship-first activities. That's VERY much what works for me in the reverse, too, because anyone can be charming for an hour of coffee in a safe and public place but if you see someone when a hike turns rainy or someone's paddle breaks midway through a long day, that's when you see how they deal with frustration or show up to help everyone else, and that's the part of another person that matters to me, too.

I've dated a couple of guys who were WAY better looking than I was--I think I could handle it better now than I did in the 80s because I have more confidence that not everyone, no matter how handsome, is horrified (or will be shortly and bolt instantly) if someone isn't drop dead gorgeous with a perfect figure. So it's not that I wouldn't date someone striking. But I will say that most strikingly-good looking people--men and women--get so many people throwing themselves at them because of their looks that I think it's probably more of a challenge to take care of what you have when there's a line of people waiting--begging--to be next. I've definitely seen a lot of my guy friends fall on their butts for someone hot and put up up with all sorts of really shabby, grabby, imperious treatment only to be devastated when the person finally dumps them for someone better looking/richer/with a nicer car. A lot of them just run desperately after the next hot chick though, instead of ever asking if the person is warm, has friends they treat kindly, and really truly cares about them as a person.

I wasn't exactly eligible to run on that hamster wheel, and 30 years down the road, I have the feeling that this path has its benefits, too. One of them is that I think aging bothers me a lot less. I was never the woman who turned every head when I entered a room, so I don't have that sense of losing something that once captivated people. As much as I'd like to get my neck sucked out, I think I'm basically pretty at peace with who I am, wrinkles, round tummy and all. I've you're not interested, all the best to you, and no hard feelings. I'm not interested in every guy, either. I wish I'd felt that way 30 years ago but hey, I'm here now. Looking forward to seeing what's next. I know that regardless of whatever does or doesn't happen romantically, I have an unbelievably rich, happy life and better, more loving friends than anyone could ask for.
I remember my sister having a date with a guy who was drop dead gorgeous. When she got home, she said it was the Most.Boring.Date.Ever.


Never forgot that.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:42 AM   #1931
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Howdy all.
Doody, back!
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:43 AM   #1932
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Jane, I think you nailed it on physical beauty.

My ex hubby was quite handsome, but shallow and had a vengeful streak.

If I was 'in the market' now, I would look for kind, fun to talk to, and handy around the house with little fix-ups, LOL
Yeah! Sense of humor!
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:44 AM   #1933
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I will say, the walking group ladies haven't done too much walking lately, LOL
Well it's been COLD. Yes?
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:45 AM   #1934
This reminds me of a Star Trek episode....
 
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I did not have a good week foodwise. I skipped the WW weigh-in this morning. I know that is absolutely the wrong behavior.
Yeah I've had a few months of that. Have been on track since Thursday. When I weighed in that day, I knew it was bad but it was a kick in the head. Fortunately.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:46 AM   #1935
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It really is such an ongoing, lifetime struggle, isn't it?

And it's hard because we all have to wake up and recommit every single morning, accept that we may not get it right every day, and work to build that balance between genuinely enjoying life, but not letting that enjoyment get out of hand when it becomes unhealthy. One thing I admire so much about you and Wrose is how much you've stuck with it. That's really kept me going. I figure even if I only keep managing a pound or so a month, over 4 or 5 years, that's still going to be way better, and way better for me, then giving up because it's always hard.
Every day, every week. I don't understand why you can gain so fast.....


I had a friend about 30 years ago who decided to change one small habit a month. She lost very little each month but at the end of it, wow.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:48 AM   #1936
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Holy cow. For good Dim Sum, I'd drive to... North Dakota, LOL!
I'm not sure they know what Dim Sum is in North Dakota! ha ha ha
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:50 AM   #1937
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There's a great line in Collette to the effect that extreme beauty doesn't generate any sympathy. What surprised me about the line when I read the book is that it was written about a male character. I do think it has to be hard when everyone looks at you and thinks 'sure, YOU couldn't possibly have ANY problems.' I think it's got to be pretty isolating to have people just look at you and project all their own hopes or insecurities on to you just because of how you look. I guess people who are very wealthy or famous must go through a lot of that too.

I think one thing that's tough about being normal looking in our time is that the culture all around us really makes no place at all for normal looking. When I was growing up and we'd visit my grandparents, the actors on the BBC programs all looked like normal people. Some were awesome looking some were average looking. Walter Cronkite did not look like a matinee idol. Today you can't watch the weather without someone who looks like they came straight from central casting with bleached teeth telling you it will rain tomorrow, let alone see an ad for toilet paper or a car or beer without all these people who are, statistically speaking in terms of their weight and looks, freaks. The 2-3% of people we see in the media for the most part don't look a whole lot like the rest of us. The rare person on TV or in a movie who does is almost always the character-actor quirky pal. That's just an unrelenting HUGE message that basically, if you don't look fantastic, you don't matter, except possibly in some sort of a goofy and marginal way.

I think it's slowly getting a little worse even for guys. Sean Connery as Bond in the 60s had a physique pretty much like my Dad's--your average athletic guy who's stayed in shape. Back then, Marilyn Monroe was a size 14, too. Don't get me wrong, I'll sit next to anyone drooling over Daniel Craig, but there's no way he's ripped like that without hours in the gym doing very specialized exercises. People who look like Peter Falk or Karl Malden aren't the heroes on detective shows any more.

I just find it kind of insidious and discouraging the extent to which normal looking people don't really show up much at all in the media any more. I know that keeping everyone insecure all the time is a great way to sell stuff (like that stupid Crest ad: if you're not doing anything but whitening your teeth RIGHT THIS MINUTE, they're getting yellow and DISGUSTING, how can you possibly have a great glass of wine with your friend or eat Christmas dinner WHEN YOU'RE GETTING MORE REPULSIVE BY THE SECOND????) but it's not a great way to encourage people to be realistic about what's out there. We have shows about who's the hottest, but who's the kindest or most decent doesn't seem to matter much going by what you see on TV.
Yup. Anyone who wants a shot has to spend thousands getting their teeth white.


There was someone on a talk show recently whom I didn't really know but knew instantly they were not American. Their teeth weren't gleaming. It was amazing. HD TV really shows it up, so I can see why Hollywood is doing it.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:50 AM   #1938
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Overcast again today. I heard rain overnight. Not too cold, though. Might get to 60, they said.
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Old 01-06-2013, 02:59 PM   #1939
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Now that's funny! But who needs a hat! Ha ha ha


He will just be sitting there and all of a sudden, take off at 90 mph, running from one end of a room or hall or whatever, to another. Sometimes it involves a run up onto the couch and off again, bouncing off the back of the couch. It's time to just get out of the way. lol
imagine this with a 75 pound Labrador.... Shadow still does this too.. lol!
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:03 PM   #1940
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Ha ha ha!!

Pippin loves ice cubes and has figured out how to get them out of his water bowl, albeit a bit splashily.
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:03 PM   #1941
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i stamped today!
and it felt good!
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:04 PM   #1942
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Wow. That's great, E.

I will get back to it after DD leaves. The BFFs are coming over on Jan. 30 to stamp and we'll have lunch.
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:51 PM   #1943
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Hi all!
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:52 PM   #1944
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SO...why has no one told me that "because" was spelled incorrectly in my signature??? For reals, folks. I've had that signature forever!
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Old 01-06-2013, 03:55 PM   #1945
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DH is still sick. Took him to after hours this afternoon and he got a couple prescriptions. hoping he feels better by tomorrow. Men are such babies when they are sick. I seriously have little patience for sick people.
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:00 PM   #1946
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I think having a compatible personality is the number one requirement, but I could not be in a relationship with someone I didn't find physically attractive. The first time I went out on a date with DH, I just could not be attracted to him. He wasn't my type, despite the fact that we had been best friends for well over a year and I adored his personality. Physically there was nothing. That changed some time down the road. Likewise, I've been in some relationships were there was no personality compatibility, but the physical attraction was undeniable.

As far as Marilyn Monroe wearing a 14, that's really kind of a myth. She wore what was a size 14 in that time. Designers have since changed sizes making smaller sizes fit bigger people in an attempt to sell more merchandise bc everyone likes to fit into a smaller size. She probably wore like a 6-8 in today's terms. Read that all in an article somewhere.
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:04 PM   #1947
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I know that I have grown increasingly unhappy with my appearance lately. I feel like I'm falling apart. I think I used to be a decently pretty girl when I was younger. These days, I'm just a hot mess of stretch marks, pale skin and gray hair. My stomach is too thick, my hair has too much gray, my skin still pimples, I have terrible nails, I'm so short it should be illegal...yeah, just not happy with my physical appearance.

I got a new pair of jeans today. They're a 10Short and are still too long to wear with regular flat shoes. Seriously!!! That's ridiculous. In order to not drag the floor, I have to wear heels.
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:05 PM   #1948
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Am I all alone? I should probably hit the couch for a bit before falling asleep. I'm beat.
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:05 PM   #1949
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SO...why has no one told me that "because" was spelled incorrectly in my signature??? For reals, folks. I've had that signature forever!
I'll have to blame my eyesight. I would have let you know!
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:07 PM   #1950
This reminds me of a Star Trek episode....
 
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Oh Amber, after five kids, it's tough. And I don't mean just the physical stuff from the pregnancy itself. Since you don't have a maid and chauffeur, you don't have a lot of time. So you give to everyone else first, then take what's left.

((hugs))
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:19 PM   #1951
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So true, Wrose. I just don't have time to take care of all the body things that need taken care of! LOL

And I think part of the problem is that when I was younger, I literally did nothing to make myself look pretty. I ate whatever whenever and just played sports for exercise and still maintained a healthy body. No extra work necessary. My skin was ok with minimal occasional breakouts. I never even had to wax my eyebrows or anything. Now, I have to wax, bleach and shave half of my body! My skin requires more work than I am willing to put into it. etc. Mom probs, old people probs, first world pains...LOL
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:38 PM   #1952
This reminds me of a Star Trek episode....
 
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Exactly. We simply don't appreciate how easy it is when we're younger!
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:40 PM   #1953
This reminds me of a Star Trek episode....
 
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How about that, it's NOT a "Congress of Baboons" - according to lexicographers, that was apparently made up. In fact, they have said, "They do behave like the caricature of the baboons, but I think real baboons probably behave a lot better" and "Using the word "congress" casts unfair aspersions on baboons."

ha ha ha ha ha
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Old 01-06-2013, 04:40 PM   #1954
This reminds me of a Star Trek episode....
 
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My mom had sent something out, and my brother questioned that one. Made me look it up!

Oh, and it's a troop of baboons.
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Old 01-06-2013, 06:01 PM   #1955
neglecting the kids and housework
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stampinbb View Post
So true, Wrose. I just don't have time to take care of all the body things that need taken care of! LOL

And I think part of the problem is that when I was younger, I literally did nothing to make myself look pretty. I ate whatever whenever and just played sports for exercise and still maintained a healthy body. No extra work necessary. My skin was ok with minimal occasional breakouts. I never even had to wax my eyebrows or anything. Now, I have to wax, bleach and shave half of my body! My skin requires more work than I am willing to put into it. etc. Mom probs, old people probs, first world pains...LOL
OK can I say hearing all of this makes me happy. I know I know...but hear me out.
I am so hairy I think I'd need a loan to get anything waxed. I like my eyebrows and lips. I could tweeze my eyebrows and chin every day. And my neck. And the stragglers in between my boobs. Seriously I'm part yeti.
You look adorable in your pics and it looks like you just toss on some blush abd brush your hair and your a doll. That picture I texted you was size 14 jeans and an hours worth of plucking and makeup and blending. And I'm getting grays.
Sometimes I think about getting a Brazilian but I fear they'd run out of wax! And it would start growing in in like a day!
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Old 01-06-2013, 07:04 PM   #1956
This reminds me of a Star Trek episode....
 
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I have fewer hairs per square inch on my legs as I age. Weird huh.
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Old 01-06-2013, 07:19 PM   #1957
neglecting the kids and housework
 
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I've noticed that. But it's not like it matters. 100 PSI or 98 lol. Plus it's coarse and dark, like my language.
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Old 01-06-2013, 07:22 PM   #1958
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If I don't keep up it looks like I've got a portuguese water dog in a leg lock.
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Old 01-06-2013, 08:10 PM   #1959
This reminds me of a Star Trek episode....
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sewsplendidstamper View Post
I've noticed that. But it's not like it matters. 100 PSI or 98 lol. Plus it's coarse and dark, like my language.
Ha ha ha! I shaved mine today. It's like there's one hair every inch, instead of an inch packed full of hairs! Course if you leave them, they still get long.


You're too funny.

DD is kind of a gorilla. Very hairy. But she is very lucky that it's so light. Her arms have a lot of fur. lol
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Old 01-07-2013, 04:37 AM   #1960
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Downton Abbey viewing party was nice....great 2 hour episode.
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