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Old 06-29-2013, 07:47 AM   #481
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Almost no one smokes so my eyes just skimmed over the smoking part. I re-read to kind of prepare for the date. Could not believe I missed that. I am sooo disappointed. He seemed like a nice guy. But, I have a bugga-boo about smoking...
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Old 06-29-2013, 08:19 AM   #482
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Me too Karen. I don't date smokers. Ever. It makes me nauseous.

Excited for my date tonight! Meeting at an Irish pub. Perused the menu so I know what I want to order that can sort of stay within my calorie range for the day. I'll probably be over since I'm sure I'll have a beer or a glass of wine but I pushed it hard on my bike ride to hopefully rev my metabolism!

He seems like a nice guy so hopefully he will be in person as well.
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Old 06-29-2013, 09:04 AM   #483
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Me too Karen. I don't date smokers. Ever. It makes me nauseous.

Excited for my date tonight! Meeting at an Irish pub. Perused the menu so I know what I want to order that can sort of stay within my calorie range for the day. I'll probably be over since I'm sure I'll have a beer or a glass of wine but I pushed it hard on my bike ride to hopefully rev my metabolism!

He seems like a nice guy so hopefully he will be in person as well.

I hope you have a wonderful time. I reviewed more matches this am, sent a few e-mails. We shall see. Nothing happens fast when you are older like me. I tend to keep everything brief, maybe I should write more? I always fear if I say too much it will sound overly wordy and they will tune out. I try to be concise and share as much as I can in fewer words.

Is the second date for the weekend tomorrow? Or did you have one last night?
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Old 06-29-2013, 11:06 AM   #484
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Afternoon.

Jen - our weather is supposed to be similar. Pretty much hot, humid and a chance of thunderstorms every day. Don't really know when it is supposed to break. Lovely.

Please pray for Marie over the next few weeks. She is struggling again, depressed, anxious, scared. I so wish she would agree to help. This is draining on all of us.
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Old 06-29-2013, 12:48 PM   #485
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Sorry Joanne - hope she eventually sees that she needs help.
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Old 06-29-2013, 12:49 PM   #486
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Brandon finally made it out of Detroit, flew to Atlanta and then across country to Salt Lake City. He was ready to board his flight to Denver and they canceled that flight due to mechanical errors. I'm beginning to think I may never see him again.

I've called the B&B to see if we can re-schedule. They have a 24 hour cancellation policy so we shall see if they'll work with us.
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Old 06-29-2013, 01:02 PM   #487
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Brandon finally made it out of Detroit, flew to Atlanta and then across country to Salt Lake City. He was ready to board his flight to Denver and they canceled that flight due to mechanical errors. I'm beginning to think I may never see him again.

I've called the B&B to see if we can re-schedule. They have a 24 hour cancellation policy so we shall see if they'll work with us.
Oh boy, travel issues. My DD daughter is flying from Denver to Milwaukee this afternoon, then drive to Door County with a friend. I wonder if she got out ok???
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Old 06-29-2013, 01:07 PM   #488
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I think brief is better. Peaks their interest. I am less brief once I get to know someone and we are exchanging daily or 2X daily emails.
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Old 06-29-2013, 01:17 PM   #489
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Afternoon.

Jen - our weather is supposed to be similar. Pretty much hot, humid and a chance of thunderstorms every day. Don't really know when it is supposed to break. Lovely.

Please pray for Marie over the next few weeks. She is struggling again, depressed, anxious, scared. I so wish she would agree to help. This is draining on all of us.
This is extreme, I know. But I have a friend with a DD in a similar situation, but more severe due to suicide attempts. They got adult guardianship of her, she will be in various programs to learn a skill, get the counseling she needs etc... is anything like that available to you?

Depression is a wicked thing. But, she also can not stay home for the rest of her life. She will have to go to a half way house or some such thing to at least learn to cope from being with others just like her. By staying home her experiences are limited...as hard as it is, press forward. She may not like it, but you will know you are doing the best thing for her and she will grow and learn/flourish.

Jo, this is only my view, from what I know by seeing friends go thru similar senarios... please do not take this at all as me being bossy. It is just that...you are all drained. As my friend with the child I refered to said, we are all exhaused from this behavior. It is time we make some serious decisions that will initially cause chaos but in the end be the very best thing for her. She loves her daughter to to the moon and back. But there comes a time when action is necessary.

Our city has many options, I would think you would have available guidance for yourselves and for her. I would pursue, if it were me.
But who am I, to suggest anything. It is just my gut feeling....
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Old 06-29-2013, 02:26 PM   #490
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Happy Anniversary Nicole!

Any plans?
we went to olive garden and he bought me a pandora bracelet so sweet of him and a cake that had the lovely saying on it it was so sweet. love him to pieces.
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Old 06-29-2013, 03:52 PM   #491
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jen- How was the first date?

Karen- I haven't been in the dating seen since 1974. so I have absolutely no idea.

Jennifer- Sure hope Dh is home by now!

Joanne- prayers for all of you! Many people with mental health issues rarely see themselves as having a problem. it is everyone around them.

Nichole- Sounds like you had a great Anniversary date!

Linda- Are you feeling better? I think about you often. I wish you lived near me. we could be out having fun.. Phooey... to our kids...who can't see how wonderful we are!

I went with my sister to visit my aunt Rose. She could use some happy mail. Her spirits are up and down. If anyone is interested in sending a card her way, let me know! Then. we went to see my sister's oldest BF. She is the lady that had neck surgery and is now paralyzed from the neck down. She looks pretty good but tremendously angry.

have a good Saturday evening!
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Old 06-29-2013, 04:13 PM   #492
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Hedgie - I agree with everything you've said. My husband, however, doesn't like conflict. He is willing to put up with this indefinitely. I feel completely helpless through all this.

Jennifer - ARGH!!!! I cannot believe Brandon is having such trouble getting home!!! It isn't like it is winter and snow is causing all this. Is any of it related to the weather? I know he'll get there, but I feel for you. The last two days have probably felt much longer than the three weeks.
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Old 06-29-2013, 04:36 PM   #493
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Hedgie - I agree with everything you've said. My husband, however, doesn't like conflict. He is willing to put up with this indefinitely. I feel completely helpless through all this.

Jennifer - ARGH!!!! I cannot believe Brandon is having such trouble getting home!!! It isn't like it is winter and snow is causing all this. Is any of it related to the weather? I know he'll get there, but I feel for you. The last two days have probably felt much longer than the three weeks.

Jo does he not see the stress you are under? You guys need to address this soon. Or you will pop! If he wants to put up with it then he needs to be home 24/7 to attend to her needs. Otherwise... he just does not have the upper hand.
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Old 06-29-2013, 04:49 PM   #494
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Jo does he not see the stress you are under? You guys need to address this soon. Or you will pop! If he wants to put up with it then he needs to be home 24/7 to attend to her needs. Otherwise... he just does not have the upper hand.
He is gone most of the day, has zero perspective of what you are dealing with throughout the day. We are with our co-workers more than our family.

I don't mean to be unkind, but seriously.... you are there 24 hours a day... Jo, you have the upper hand in this. You need to drive this. He needs to understand what you deal with. I work 10 hours a day, I have 3 hours before I go to bed. I would have zero idea of what went on for the 10 hours I was gone.

I hope you can share details with him and let him know that not addressing the issue is not helping her. If he feels he wants to take no action, then he will have to be with her all day and take care of her.

Why he does not want her to feel productive and learn a trade? That is the best way for self-esteem ever. Why would he not want that? Or to be with same age kids with similar issues? It would help her and make her feel so not alone!!
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Old 06-29-2013, 05:06 PM   #495
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Actually, I avoid her most of the day. I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but it works. She doesn't agree or listen to anything I say. She always takes it as an accusation or disagreement with her. I could say the sky is blue and she would argue it is red. No matter what it is a disagreement. He sees that.

He just doesn't like confrontation. I think I've told you that Marie almost a carbon copy of Bill's father. Bill knew how to deal with his father only one way. Unfortunately, I keep telling him, Marie is NOT his father, but his daughter. I really wish I had pushed for counseling when she was younger. But no one agree with me then.
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Old 06-29-2013, 05:16 PM   #496
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Joanne- I am so sorry! I wish I could help you!
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Old 06-29-2013, 05:53 PM   #497
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Actually, I avoid her most of the day. I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but it works. She doesn't agree or listen to anything I say. She always takes it as an accusation or disagreement with her. I could say the sky is blue and she would argue it is red. No matter what it is a disagreement. He sees that.

He just doesn't like confrontation. I think I've told you that Marie almost a carbon copy of Bill's father. Bill knew how to deal with his father only one way. Unfortunately, I keep telling him, Marie is NOT his father, but his daughter. I really wish I had pushed for counseling when she was younger. But no one agree with me then.

Joanne, so very sorry, this situation is truly a difficult one and would highly consider getting counseling for yourself to help cope. Focus on the Family gives very good recommendations for counselors in your area.
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Old 06-29-2013, 05:56 PM   #498
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We had a lovely "last supper" at really nice restaurant in Murrell's Inlet. There is a nice long boardwalk that goes all around the inlet and the setting was beautiful.

Time to pack up to make our way home tomorrow. So very grateful for the two weeks away.
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:11 AM   #499
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This dating thing is exhausting!

Date was good. He is a nice guy. There are some differences there and he lives about 40 minutes away so we'll see. We're going out again on Tues. night.

Date #2 tonight!

Getting ready to go swim with the girls and I am SO tired! Didn't get home until midnight and I didn't sleep well.
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Old 06-30-2013, 06:54 AM   #500
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It's gross out. We swam, which was fun. Then I went for a walk/run. Next is mowing the lawn.

Date with a different guy tonight! LOL
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Old 06-30-2013, 06:59 AM   #501
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Jen, so happy things went well. Another one tonight! Wow!

Tell me, do you pay for your own food/drink or does he offer to pay?

Did you actually have a meal or just drinks? About how long do you stay?
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Old 06-30-2013, 07:02 AM   #502
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Actually, I avoid her most of the day. I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but it works. She doesn't agree or listen to anything I say. She always takes it as an accusation or disagreement with her. I could say the sky is blue and she would argue it is red. No matter what it is a disagreement. He sees that.

He just doesn't like confrontation. I think I've told you that Marie almost a carbon copy of Bill's father. Bill knew how to deal with his father only one way. Unfortunately, I keep telling him, Marie is NOT his father, but his daughter. I really wish I had pushed for counseling when she was younger. But no one agree with me then.
Hugs darling Joanne. I so wish there was an easy solution, or a way we could help. Just know you are a wonderful mom!!
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Old 06-30-2013, 07:08 AM   #503
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Karen,

If he does the asking I let him pay. I offer to leave the tip. 99% of the time they refuse. If things are progressing I pick a place and pay on the 3rd or 4th date. Some still flat out refuse to let me pay....usually they explain that they really do want to treat, have a good job, and it makes them feel good. I also let them pick the place - someplace mid-range, not too expensive but not burger king either. I find an Irish pub or an upscale burger place is usually a good place to meet.

Usually we do have a meal or at least an appetizer if we get a drink or two. I just can't drink on an empty stomach. My limit is 2 drinks. I had two glasses of wine last night over the course of 4 hours.

Normally it is about 2 hours but time flew last night and before I knew it it was 11 pm!

And yes, he did kiss me.
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Old 06-30-2013, 09:19 AM   #504
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Jen glad your date went well good luck on tonights date have fun

Joanne HUGS

hope you all have a great day today went to church this morning came home and i feel like i need a nap when DH gets off we will go to Sams we need some water .
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Old 06-30-2013, 01:18 PM   #505
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By the time ppl are my age, they are set in their ways. I have things I won't tolerate. They have their things too. I am going to stop looking.
I am happier when I don't think about such things.

If I was 15-20 years younger, it would be a different story....
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Old 06-30-2013, 01:27 PM   #506
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Hugs darling Joanne. I so wish there was an easy solution, or a way we could help. Just know you are a wonderful mom!!
Thank you. Most of the time I don't feel like a very good mom - when it comes to Marie. I think there I so much more I should have done or pushed for. This was way out of my league. . .
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Old 06-30-2013, 01:47 PM   #507
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Thank you. Most of the time I don't feel like a very good mom - when it comes to Marie. I think there I so much more I should have done or pushed for. This was way out of my league. . .

Don't do that to yourself. You are in a difficult position. That is why so many of us feel some help is in order. This is beyond the scope of understanding. You can do everything to a T and the situation can decline at any moment, irregardless of your efforts. I think you know that already...

I am at this point going to be bold and say someone has to take the bull by the horns. If not your husband, than you.

Do you have legal guardianship, due to her being of age? That would be the first step. Then you can move on to finding good programs for her.
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Old 06-30-2013, 02:08 PM   #508
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Whatever makes you happy Karen! See for me I let go of meeting "the one". I am just going out and having some fun and if I happen to meet him even better!

Joanne - I am here to support you!

All spiffed up for Date 2. Sleeveless dress. Was going to wear a sundress but it is thundering and I don't feel as confident in my sundress for some reason!
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Old 06-30-2013, 02:15 PM   #509
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Have fun Jen. And thanks for the support.
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:24 PM   #510
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Sorry Joanne

Jen - hope you have a fabulous date tonight!

We canceled our anniversary trip. He got home at 7:15 last night and we still had an hour and a half drive to the B&B. Luckily they were understanding and didn't charge us for not coming. We are going to re-schedule as soon as we can which looks like some time in August. It was sad because we were both looking so forward to going away, but under the circumstances, it's better to go another time when we can fully enjoy our trip....and when Brandon has had more than 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours

We're getting ready to go to the cemetery to visit his mom's grave - yesterday was the 6th anniversary - and then we're going out for ice cream.
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:43 PM   #511
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SUMMER!
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Old 06-30-2013, 04:14 PM   #512
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Whatever makes you happy Karen! See for me I let go of meeting "the one". I am just going out and having some fun and if I happen to meet him even better!

Joanne - I am here to support you!

All spiffed up for Date 2. Sleeveless dress. Was going to wear a sundress but it is thundering and I don't feel as confident in my sundress for some reason!
Jen, have fun! This is a town that is very touchy... more than you know... politics
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Old 06-30-2013, 05:00 PM   #513
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hope you all have a great week this week i have a 3 day work week but i know it will be long because i have to be in the 2's this week YUKKY hahaha still love them thought they just keep you on your FEET all day .

leave Thursday to go pick up my nephews I am so excited to see what we will do for a week with them they are excited too and all they have asked to do is go to movies and swim. but we have other things planned as well cant wait they DESERVE TO GET AWAY
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Old 06-30-2013, 05:52 PM   #514
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The right wing religious guy bit the dust when I explained I am not that extreme...he was good looking but I don;t need the fight.
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Old 06-30-2013, 06:56 PM   #515
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So, we have a winner!! Is it the guy behind door (date) #1 or door #2?!
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Old 06-30-2013, 07:14 PM   #516
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenguin View Post
So, we have a winner!! Is it the guy behind door (date) #1 or door #2?!

You are too funny and thank you for keeping this light. I will not have many going after me... that is for sure.

There now are two interested, to connect with.. the saga continues..

Have a great date!
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Old 06-30-2013, 07:41 PM   #517
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Karen- Your great sense of humor is certainly a plus.

Jen- Have a great time. How are the boys doing with summer sports? How did the meeting at school go for your youngest?

Joanne- I think you should talk to a professional about the issues with Marie. You are a great mom and person and friend and ...

Caterina- I am so happy that you had a great time.

Jennifer- So very happy that Dh is home safe and sound. I can only imagine the look on Preston's face when he say daddy!

Have a great week all of my misfit friends.
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Old 06-30-2013, 09:53 PM   #518
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It is almost 2 and I'm not asleep yet. Just lots on my mind. I am going to call another counselor about Marie. We've seen a few in the past. Bill and I went to at least two different people. One I really liked, but she really deals with kids. She was going to help us work through some issues but I can't really go back to her now. I think I'll do some searching through Focus on the Family as Cat suggested. I am also going to ask my doctor if she has someone she recommends. Which reminds me I need a med check appointment with her. I should schedule it soon as the office is moving. I think I will be okay for another week.
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Old 07-01-2013, 05:31 AM   #519
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http://www.splitcoaststampers.com/fo...l#post20225996
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