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Old 05-13-2008, 06:49 AM   #435
Samantha
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: WI
Posts: 4,125
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First, Victoria, I am journaling about everything along the way I have a Blog that is still private and I have 2 notebooks that I take to the DRs offices to write down everything that is said. When this is over, I am going to try and put it all together. A lot of what is in the Blog is also in my posts here.

I canít believe my final surgery is here at last. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I have knots in my stomach today. Itís weird. I am more scared about this surgery than the mastectomy. I know though how much it hurts to put anything under the muscle and that is what will happen on the mastectomy side. I donít know how much the breast lift on the good side will hurt though. Probably hurt some. What a baby I am feeling like.

I keep saying this, but I want all this to be over. Over. I am scared about recurrences now.

I am also scared because I think there maybe a big problem with my knee surgery. It has started to swell up in places that havenít swelled up before. I have to have it checked as soon as possible after the reconstruction surgery tomorrow. I feel it is going to give out on me. It would be great if the orthopedic surgeon could check it while I am in overnight tomorrow, but I donít think that will happen. I am going to ask though. What a perfect place to get an MRI ordered to see if something was missed or torn since the surgery 2Ĺ weeks ago. I tripped over a bag of potting soil in the garage yesterday and I know that I twisted it trying not to fall.

I was supposed to go out to lunch with a good friend today but I just called and cancelled. I just canít go out while I am a nervous wreck knowing that the hospital hasnít called yet and scared that I might fall because of the darn knee. I donít want to do anything that might delay my scheduled surgery.

But I would be lying if I said I wasnít worried. Talk about feeling like a big baby. I am just scared.

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Sammie # 7651

When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. -- Harriet Beecher Stowe
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