Well….. I have knee surgery tomorrow. I am a little anxious but so excited that the majority of my pain will be alleviated after a few days. According to the DR. I have a bad tear in the meniscus and then a tear that crosses the first tear….kind of like a “T” tear. Then the back of one of the tears has ripped away and curled backwards and is stuck in the center or middle of the knee. I am skipping the medical terms as I have no clue what they were saying anyway other than there a multiple tears. He did say that he couldn’t believe I had been able to tolerate the pain this long. Damn breast cancer got in the way. The 1st little tear happened before I was dx’d with BC and then came the dx and we knew then that I couldn’t have surgery while taking chemo or at least a month after the chemo.
I called the reconstruction surgeon’s office yesterday worrying about having another surgery 6 days later. He called this morning and cancelled my scheduled surgery 6 days later to take out the expander and the reconstruction. I am actually relieved about this as I will have to use crutches and then a walker for a while. He said this could interfere with the muscles used in the chest and cause a whole lot of pain and more potential problems. So my breast surgery is rescheduled for May 14th. One thing I don’t need is more pain after the knee surgery pain has gotten better. The expander is not hurting me so I can wait.
I am feeling more secure about having no hair. I no longer even wear a head covering when I go out to the Dr.s offices, or to get meds or even to the store. I just decided that being bald is part of who I am right now and if it makes a few uncomfortable, that is their problem and not mine. No hats. My hair is just starting to come in. My head feels like a baby’s head – kind of soft and a little fuzzy. I can’t tell what color yet. But it is coming in!!!!
I am excited, anxious, scared, happy and more - all together at once. Go figure. But by this time tomorrow I will be in la la land.
Sammie # 7651
When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. -- Harriet Beecher Stowe