Checking in again Sammie. No you don't know me but I have been reading this thread and really and truly thinking and praying about you.
You have every right to be tired and sad from time to time. It doesn't mean you're negative, it means your human. That's what your support system is for- you have people both real and virtual who will fight for you when you're too tired to fight for yourself!
You are a strong, amazing woman. Your story is encouraging to anyone who has suffered and anyone who needs reassuring that they too can face any circumstance.
Congrats on not needing radiation- that's wonderful!! Celebrate every milestone.
Hope you find some peace and pain relief this week!! Best wishes to you now and always.