My 6 year old son has SPD. He was diagnosed when he was 2 1/2. I was really wanting a reason for his abnormal behaviors. He attended special ed. preschool for 2 years, then "tested out" of all special services for kindergarten. He's in first grade now and is on the honor roll, something I never could have predicted a few years back.
I know what you mean about a husband who doesn't seem to care. I feel like I researched the subject to death, reading all I could about it while DH didn't do anything. I still sometimes feel like he sees this as my responsibility as the mother, and expects me to give him a report of whatever I learn.
I was frustrated with a friend for a while too. When I'd complain about DS's inability to do things for himself, she'd tell me it was probably just because he was spoiled as the oldest and was just used to me doing everything for him.
I've tried to start a couple of threads on SPD. I've been invited to the Autism thread as well, but I don't quite fit there. I don't feel like I can complain when I know there are kids with much more difficult issues, you know?
I'd be happy to share with others about SPD here.