Hi Kelley: Know what's really crazy? I'm sure there are a few other moms who look at you (and at me) and wish they could be just like you! I hate the compare game, but I find myself doing it a lot. There's our neighbor accross the street who has two boys a bit younger then ours; they are wonderful, polite young men, their house is always spotless, she always looks great (skinny too...), and she works full time. I've actually caught myself watching her walk hand and hand with her dh down the street while I say to myself "wow! I wounder what it would be like to be a normal, funtional family..." In the end, this makes no sense. I'm sure they have their problems. I'm sure they fight; I'm sure their kids act up; I'm sure they have moments when dust piles up somewhere (OK - maybe not!). My dh tends to compare based on the "appearance" of money ("wow, they bought a boat, have a camper, take great vacations, etc...") - I tend to compare regarding how the family functions. Non of it does any good
Falls under the 9th and 10th commandment...
Take a deep breath, and look at the stuff you are doing right... Watching a little TV gives you some breathing space. Do you read to your son? Do you sit on the floor and spend 5 minutes playing with him? Do you give him big hugs and say "I love you"? I bet you could write down dozens of things you are doing right. Maybe it will make you feel better if you do. Also, it might give you a chance to look for something new that you can do for another 5 minutes. It's really hard to work full time when the children are small. I worked full time until my older boy was 5 and younger boy was 2 - I found myself in tears most of the last year, because I felt like I missed everything.
Someone else was raising my kids. It really stunk. Gotta go, my big boys is needing attention.