Parenting an autistic child is hard. People sometimes just don't get it. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I have a "Don't stare at me card" It refers people to a website to learn more about ASD. It was in a book I bought. I've only used it once, but gave some to a friend and she uses them a lot. Her little guy has a lot of tantrums. My guys do fairly well except sometimes at church. Last Sunday a woman was so busy staring I thought about saying something to her. They do fairly well, but sitting still and being quiet are just not their strengths.
I hope you are able to get some rest for you and your kids. I'm so sorry that woman was so rude.
Bless your heart.