Are good manners dead?

[swldebbie]

OK, so I am not a 20-something, but I'm also not a 90-something, so I don't think I am just being an old fogie here. But am curious what others' experience is and what you think.

My time on the site is limited, so I don't get into the forums too often. However, I would say that, over the past 12-18 months, I have responded to different SCSers request for things -- excess product to be used to help with senior citizen craft classs, stamped images, etc. In every case, the requestor never told me when the items arrived, never sent m a PM to say thank you, and never posted a quick TY on their forum thread to say thanks.

I just cannot imagine asking people for help and then not coming back to say thank you when the deed was done and/or the product was received. To me, that is just basic good manners. You are always going to run into people with no manners, but I am blown away by the fact that this has happened to me so many times.

Am I being overly sensitive? Do others find the same thing?

[jennik]

Nope, you are not being overly sensitive. I think most people forget everything their moms ever taught them. :(
Jmo


Jennik

[MSBetsyZ]

Oh, that's mean! I know I have always gotten confirmation by pm/email, and almost always gotten a physical thank you card in the mail. I'm sorry that's not been your experience.

[ailhelen]

No, your not being too sensitive. Things have certainly changed and not for the better. I dont think of myself as an oldie but sometimes I am just amazed at the lack of manners we see, people have taken to using their social media i.e. Facebook to briefly say thanks and even to invite people to events. There is rarely any follow up from this. When invitations are sent out people forget to rsvp and the person having the do has to chase up people to get final numbers. People need to be reminded that 'thank you' and 'please' are valued and should not be ignored. We dont expect people to applaud us for what we do but it is 'polite' to let someone know there their kindness is appreciated. Your time is just as important as theirs.

[bdeyes9]

I was just saying this. It costs nothing to be polite. I think sometimes that people have gotten to be selfish and impolite. Back in the dark ages I got in trouble (Usually the disapproving mom look) if I didn't say please and thank you and behave in a polite manner. Now children are often taught that they are Special and their wants and needs are more important than anyone elses.

[buddy'smama]

My daddy always said "that you might not be rich with money or material things, but you can be rich by having good manners, being honest and keeping your body clean"!!! I think the clean part came in when my brother was growing up and they had to make him take baths!!LOL

I have to say everything I bought from the other scrappers on here, I have gotten a thank-you and when I received my stuff I also sent a thank-you. T

[Juble]

I could have written that post myself! I always appreciate when people let me know that they received the card, freebies, etc that I have sent them. I try to acknowledge all the things that people send or give me. So, no Debbie, I don't feel your over-sensitive!!

[buttons2]

Amen to what has been said above. I'm in the BRAK group and it's very, very unusual to get a thank you either a post here or an email. It's quite frustrating. I quit sending b'day cards to my great nieces and nephews because, like has been said above, I never did know if they were ever received.

Wanda

[Juble]

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttons2

Amen to what has been said above. I'm in the BRAK group and it's very, very unusual to get a thank you either a post here or an email. It's quite frustrating. I quit sending b'day cards to my great nieces and nephews because, like has been said above, I never did know if they were ever received.

Wanda

I understand what you mean regarding the BRAK's. For me, it's not so much the thank you as just the acknowledgement that the card arrived. I understand that the cards may not be to the person's taste but it is sent with good will.

Today, just as this thread is up, I received a beautiful card from an SCS'er who was on my BRAK list. It was a lovely thank you card and very sweet note enclosed. So yes, there are still good manners out there

[swldebbie]

Julie, so glad that you got that card. And the timing couldn't be better.

[swldebbie]

Glad to hear that I'm not just that crazy old cat lady or something equivalent. And it is heartening to hear that there are still people out there who practice good manners.

buddy'smama -- you made me smile. I used to be in a women's civic organization and one of the members was a principal at an inner city (poor) school. i remember her mentioning that she always tells the kids that good manners don't cost anything so, just because they were poor, that didn't give them an excuse to have bad manners.

nowadays, manners, particularly with kids, is so rare that when i do see well mannered children in public, i make a point of going over and telling the child and the parents how impressed i am with the child's good manners.

[swldebbie]

and, yes, the thank you is nice, but it really is about knowing it arrived. if i have to ask, i always feel like it comes across sounding like you're fishing for the thank you or the compliment.

[Gail Russell]

You are so right - people are in such a hurry to do everything that they don't even say hello or thank you. Excuse me as they push by you in the grocery store. Heaven forbid you are standing in front of the product they wanted! My question is what will the next generation be like? I really don't want to go there. I still pen-pal the old fashion way and there is something very refreshing to hold a letter where someone says - Hello and talks politely. Sometimes old is better!

[swldebbie]

we may be surprised. i've heard that sometimes the grandkids favor the grandparents more than the parents. so maybe the old will be new again. and people will find a happy balance between the social media world and the old fashioned communication world.

[RiverIsis]

I always send at the very least an electronic acknowledgement. I admit I am in the could do better in the physical acknowledgement which is normally because I am over thinking it and and want to use what they sent as part of the thanks...it goes quickly downhill from there on the path of good intentions. However, at least I have acknowledged and thanked them electronically. I always think of the physical thank you as icing on the cake. I have been RAK'd once, the other times have been blog candy.

[swldebbie]

I agree that the physical thank you is an added nicety that isn't always something that is practical. Especially when you are making the card and you don't have in stash. So I would be absolutely fine with a quick PM that simply said the item arrived and thanks.

[Cartermrc]

One of our nephews got married a few years ago and several of us in the family traveled to the wedding. None of us ever received thank you notes for the wedding presents, attending the event, anything. We went to a lot of trouble to travel there, buy the gift, etc and were frankly offended. One of my nieces on the other hand sent out all her thank yous within a week. So all is not lost in the family!

[Allistamps123]

I am so sorry you didn't get a response! I got a RAK once of a some complete packs of retired paper, inks, & markers and I sent her a thank you gift! I got a RAC of the most awesome SU set and made a thank you card with the set. About a year later I was worried I never sent the card and contacted that wonderful lady here on SCS and asked her if she ever got it. Turns out I had sent it!

I must live in an area of the country that's still polite because people still hold the door for others when meeting up at the same time (as in one is going out and one going in). I had a younger guy, maybe 23 hold the door for me while I was still in the parking lot!

When people walk in front of me in an grocery store isle and I am looking for an item they say excuse me, etc.

What I have noticed are employees at various businesses who barge past me or cut me off while on their way to another part of the store or restaurant. I had an extra part time job at a casino working as a valet. At times the front entrance was very busy and I would be in a hurry, but I was always aware of the customers and would step aside or wait for them to pass and I was super busy, but not too busy to be polite!

[Loretia]

I feel compelled to respond to your post!

You are not being overly sensitive. I don't think that good manners are dead, some people just choose to forget them! The only way I know to respond to what seem to be "trends" in todays' society is to keep doing what I was taught. The age old "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". At least we can look in the mirror and say we did pretty well today! As my great-grandma used to say: "You just be sure to keep you own backyard clean!". Ahhhhhh, if I had half the wisdom she had!

[Ocean County Stamper]

I completely agree with the original poster. I am 50 years old and I don't believe age has anything to do with manners. The use of Facebook instead of an acknowledgement of a gift or request for supplies due to some type of untoward bad luck or accident does bug me. But I do what I do not for a thank you , so I try to remain open minded
and move on.

[Cartermrc]

People are polite here too. We moved here from the San Fransisco bay area where we both grew up and that was one of the first things we noticed. Almost 40 years later it's still true I'm glad to say.

[bobbyjo]

Allistamps 123-- When I read your post I thought "you must live in the South", and then I saw the 'bluffs of the Mississippi River', so maybe you actually do. I love it that many in the South still value the old fashioned notion of gracious manners. And I definitely agree with swldebbie about complimenting some of these wonderful families you see when you dine out, where children obviously have been taught good values. They look happy and secure.