Kramamma - I was like you. I didn't get an allowance for anything I did at my house when I was growing up. And like you, I was basically running the house by the time I was 8 or so. If I didn't get things done the way the step-mother wanted them done then I would get whatever she had in her hands. By the time I was able to leave I was paranoid of people being behind me and skiddish of doing anything wrong.
The best thing I can remember was working in tobacco with my aunt & uncle who lived next door. I would get something like 50 cents a hour and on Saturday afternoons my cousins who were a year older & a year younger and I would ride our bicycles to the store and spend 50 cents on a soda and candy. I would make sure I had a bottle for the deposit or find one on the way. The rest of the money would go to my step-mother to give me 50 cents for tithing each week and I have no idea what she did with the rest. She was a trick to say the least. Some things change while others remain the same. She is one who has not changed.
My moto for 2017...Do what you need to do. Count what you want to count. Enjoy the process.