Thanks, Wrose. Sitting here thinking, it's almost as though I sort of wish I still believed. There is no comfort for me; no feeling of "seeing him again" and it just is so deep. DH says that when anyone dies that it makes you sit back and re-evaluate your life; think of your own mortality and legacy, and it's just part of the process. He is probably right. He usually is.
Ask yourself, "When Iím on my deathbed, will I be glad I was so serious about _______?" Let down your hair and stop being so darn important for a while.