Originally Posted by cerridwen3301
well i would do the opposite and IF they play have it ONLY under your supervision at your house and feel free to explain the terms/rules in your house and should she choose not to follow send her home. if you are friends with the grandparents there is no shame in this. i would certainly expect my handful of a daughter to be handled this way. if she can't pull it together i see nothing wrong with saying she can't come play. but you don't necessarily have to explain anything to the grandparents - we have a neighbor girl who is always over here and tries to pull the same thing - i nip it in the bud. but i don't feel i need to tell her mother about it every time either.
If the girls go to her house to play then they are out of your control and so is any situation they may arise. I personally would find excuses for the girls not to play together because she cannot be a positive influence on your children. Good luck