Originally Posted by Erin in Okc
Does anybody here believe differently than their spouse? I finally admitted to myself about a year ago that I truly don't believe in any kind of god. My husband still very much believes. He teaches a Wednesday night class at church, and he and my son volunteer giving out donuts and coffee at the early service on Sundays. I know he is very concerned for me and probably thinks this is just a phase. I didn't tell him until the first of this year, and it went well, but sometimes it is hard.
I've honestly just reached a point where I realized I was pretending to be a lot of things that I wasn't. Republican was one of them, and my husband now knows I am proudly a democrat again. It feels like we disagree on everything. A friend of mine said it seems like the only thing we have in common are our kids, our house, and great sex. It feels like that to me sometimes, too. He wants to talk politics and religion with me, and I don't think I'm going to change his mind, I know he's not going to change mine, and I just don't want to talk about either. I enjoy him more when we aren't talking politics or religion.
I could really use some advice, even if you and your husband believe the same. We went to dinner and a movie last night, and it was kind of awkward.
Kind of late with a response to this but... It took a major event - a divorce - to get me to question some of my beliefs. I definitely took on my husband's view on politics and went back to being a liberal, socially and economically. Ironically, my ex was an atheist all along. I started questioning those faith beliefs which I carried because of my family upbringing too.
I think you either need to talk more about this with your husband to get more comfortable with it or just agree to disagree and don't talk about it at all. It's definitely hard for everyone when someone does a major course change. You also have to make sure he's not doing or saying things that are passive agressive "I don't like this. Change back!"
I recommend theAsk Richard
column on The Friendly Atheist blog. He answers questions from people dealing with issues around "coming out" as an atheist. Read some of his columns or write into him yourself! Just know you're not alone and you can always vent here