Karen, you have such a wonderful way with words
I wouldn't change what I learned from my other 2 marriages, it's made me who I am today. It got me to the place I am today, in a good relationship with a kind and caring man. I have also learned to stand up for myself, and don't feel guilty about it anymore.
At my son's wedding my ex was his usual inappropriate self. I just ignored him as much as possible, and had a good time. We can't control how others behave, but we can control how we behave.