Thank you, ladies!
Now the kids want me to see the apt but of course he doesn't want me there but it doesn't really matter to me. I can see his point of me not being in "his" space but I can also see the kids' (and my) point to see where they will be spending so much time... and so I "get" what they are talking about. But I'll let them hash it out. He told the youngest (turned 6 today) that I won't be going there and that's just the way divorce is but ds1 (turning 14 on Monday) says it's ridiculous that I'm not allowed to just stop in and visit (that's my boy...sticking up for me)!
PS...still no tears since the panic on Sunday night; just a little weapy at my therapist appt yesterday, but still doing good!