Try this again:
I am going to just touch on a few things. My parents were alcoholics. My father was an SOB, to put it lightly. He had a terrible temper, and took it out mostly on my mother and I. My sister and I had bunk-beds. Since I was 7 years older than her, I slept in the top bed. When I was 11, my father started coming into my room at night and fondled me. I was afraid to open my eyes, so always pretended I was asleep. I wondered if all fathers did this to their daughters? I started sleeping on my stomach, against the wall, but I would roll over during the night. Later, I found three safety-pins. I started pinning my pajama top to my pants. The abuse stopped.
I always protected my children from my father. I refused to have my children treated like I was growing up.
My daughter was home from college her spring break, freshman year. It was just her and I at home. I had an appointment with my counselor in about an hour. I told Shanna about me going to counseling, and told her about my father abusing me. I asked her if her Grandpa ever touched her. She said "No, but someone else had". She refused to tell me who it was, only saying it was a relative, and it happened a lot. I was sick!!! I am sick right now, thinking of that terrible day. The worse day of my life!!! I had to leave for my appointment. On the way there, I had a million things going through my mind. There was no one that could have molested my daughter often, except her father. I was at Kathy's office over two hours that day. It was awful.
When I got home, Shanna was still the only one at home. I walked up to her, and said "It was your dad"? She nodded. She told me that it started as far back as she could remember until she was about 10 years old, and included everything except intercourse.
Oh my God,...how could I have not seen the signs??? How could I have let my child down??? I didn't protect the person I loved more than my own life??? I wanted to die!!!
I have to stop. I am feeling nauseous just writing this. Will write more later!
We had to get rid of the kids~~~
~~~The cats were allergic!!!