Jen- I will take you up on your offer! A clambake in your kitchen, or ANY seafood done by you would be awesome!
Oh boy, regarding the college issue. I have struggled with this. As soon as we divorced he stopped paying for the oldest's college costs, she was a Junior. We had to take out loans and we could not get the judge to order him to help pay. In our state anyway, you can not order them to pay for or even help with college! The kids are adults, is their reasoning!
We got the impression at that point he was in flux. When the second was due for college he told her he would help some. He approved the college she chose and was given all details. One month after she was dropped off and settled into that school, he emailed me and said, Oh so sorry, I have decided not to help. So it all has fallen and continues to fall on me, loans, scholarships. She is still in school and it has been rough. But we are doing it!
We had to go back to court for other issues, he made this big deal about how we never planned to send the kids to college. Baloney. That was all he pounded into them during their school years! The judge asked me to respond and I of course explained our views on education and how the girls were raised. He took that into consideration when he decided on the other issues we were there for, but could not make him help play for her college.