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My aunt died this year and I was making my uncle a card and decided that a "Merry Christmas" card would not really be appropriate as he is still grieving. I made a cheerful holiday themed Thinking of You card and now I don't know what to say inside it. I thought my friends at SCS would have some ideas to share.
My second question I guess is, should it be a cheerful card or more sedate because as I write this, I'm second guessing my choice to add the little snowman to the card. I was going to go for a serious card but something made me think about sending him something that might make him smile briefly when he opens it. I'm so indecisive about this.
That is a tough dilemma! I know we have friends who are dealing with their first Christmas without an important loved one...I like the idea of being more sedate and not "playful" themed cards. Maybe just write a simple "Thinking of you as you celebrate Christmas without [fill in the blanks] and wishing you peace and comfort during this temporary separation.
how about saying something cherished holiday memories i use this (cherished memories) for this type of card with the baroque motifs set or something similar
Since it is a close relative (I'm assuming you were close with both of them), I would send more of a subtle holiday "Thinking of You" card. Words to the effect of always remembering the cherished memories with Aunt..... .
Personally I would not make it a happy, happy card and not a Merry Christmas card.
If you're stamping the card, I would use a graphic like holly leaves, pine trees, a candle or even a bell embellished with holly leaves.
It's not an easy situation as you still need to enjoy your holiday and not be brought down by another relative who is grieving in the loss of their closest love one.
We need to be sensitive to the feelings of others, but also understand that other family members do also want to celebrate the holiday (especially if there are young children involved). This is not saying you or anyone else close is forgetting the Aunt.
Thanks to Patti, queenbee and Julie for replying. My uncle and his family live in another state and we don't celebrate together but I did a combination of your suggestions. I did a new card using navy and white card with just a simple "Thinking of You" on the front. I hand wrote inside something like "we are thinking of you at Chrristmas time and know that it will be difficult without Aunt Joan but we hope that you find peace and comfort as you spend the time with family and friends." I know he will be grieving but will be spending the day with his son, daughter-in-law and grandkids so I'm sure there will be sad moments but hopefully the grandkids can provide litte distractions throughout the day to make him smile.
Hey Cindy - I found this poem and thought I'd post it here in case you find it helpful:
Christmas in Heaven
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
with tiny lights like Heaven's stars reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear
for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
but the sound of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you of the joy their voices bring
for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I can't tell you of the splendor or the peace here in this place
Can you just imagine Christmas with our savior, face-to-face?
I'll ask Him to lift your spirit as I tell Him of your love
so then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above.
Please let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL and let your SPIRIT SING
for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN and I�m walking WITH THE KING.
My mom passed away 3 years ago and it's still hard. I couldn't read that beautiful poem you wrote, but I'm crying anyway.
I wanted to tell you that my dad did amazingly well that first Christmas without her. We live in different states, my dad and I, but we had already bought our plane tickets for Christmas before my mom unexpectly died.
It was such a blessing for us all to be together. Because we were coming, my kids were 9,9 (twins) and 11 at the time and he decorated and bought gifts for us all.
Your uncle will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Sometimes we struggle with what to say, and though we can't really make it all better, our thoughtfulness can help to lighten the burden.
Merry Christmas to you, and I want you to know I'm just now going to say a prayer for your family.
When a friend of our passed away...his wife received enough sympathy cards at that time. We sent her a basic Christmas card...simple and just simply stated "wishing you peace and joy this Christmas season". I just hand wrote a little note that we were thinking about her.
I think integrating Christmas with sympathy cards just rubs it in that the loved one is gone. Straight forward - life goes on and all we need to do is to tone it down...do not remind them of the loss...and let them know we love them and are thinking of them. that is all they need or want from us.
I just recently lost my mom, and I have gotten many Christmas cards this year. My favorites have been the whimsical ones. Even in my grieving I can still smile and laugh.
__________________ Lisa -
Married my sweetheart 1-26-02 Mommy to Hunter 9-3-04 & Hailey 7-26-06