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Old 06-07-2010, 03:08 PM   #663
caterinafmig
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
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PART ONE


Monday, June 7, 2010 4:26 PM, CDT


Good afternoon,
It has been over two weeks since I last sat down to process my ongoing thoughts and emotions. This absence has been due to several reasons, one being that the kids are out of school and that has helped fill the void and loneliness. Two would be that life just seems busier when they are around. And three, sometimes I just don't even know where to begin...like when trying to organize a messy room...it's not always easy to find a starting point. Sometimes you just have to dive in, so I will try that approach.

The kids have been home now for two weeks and it has been nice. In fact the first week I could even chalk it up to being a pretty pleasant week. It started out a little questionable as Elias had to begin summer vacation with an injury. Nothing serious at all, but par for the course for our little guy who lives his “boy” life to the fullest. The Saturday after the final Friday of school he was at his best buddies house across the street jumping on the trampoline with him and some how indeed up with a nice little gash on the top of his head. Apparently, they both fell and one fellas front teeth found the other fellas newly shaven burr cut head. The preceding Thursday evening I had shaved Elias' head, per his request so he could “look” and “be” cool for the last day of school and their fun day. Had he still been sporting his longer locks, his buddy may have just ended up with a mouth full of hair. But minus the cushion of his former thick rug, a nice little puncture wound appeared. So dad, with big brother Corinthian in tow, made the familiar trip to the minor emergency clinic once again with Elias. Due to the location of the wound, stitches or butterfly bandages were not an option so he ended up with a staple in his head.

As you can imagine, we had fun coming up with nicknames for our “staple headed son!” He reported, in case anyone wants to know what it feels like to have a staple stuck to your head... “it feels like a fly landed on it.” I can imagine worse. After the anesthetic wore off, it didn't feel much like a fly anymore. Maybe a fly with razor sharp legs. The following week was spent on penicillin along with daily q-tip baths of peroxide on the wound. He's recovered well. Elias can now mark another injury off his list. He's had stitches, a cracked wrist (on the growth plate) and now a staple. He has plenty of experiences to share during playground talk next year and can probably be pretty high up in the competition with other schoolmates on “who's been injured the most!” I think I'm good for now and don't need any more of this type of excitement! Unfortunately, the summer has just begun! Pray Elias' luck will change and he will soon be through with his accident prone nature! My gray hair is coming in nicely! ; )

Like I said, the first week with the kids home was really nice and I felt a sense of light heartedness. Last week, the heaviness returned and it was a tough week for me personally. It wasn't one thing in general that made it hard, but a combination of several different things. On Sunday, Corinthian and I traveled to Wichita Falls, Texas to be present for a fundraiser benefiting the Pablove Foundation (www.pablove.org). It was hosted by a family of another little girl who battled Wilm's that we were fortunate to meet in October of 2008 at the pediatric oncology clinic in Oklahoma City. Emma is the little sister of Kaylie who drew the doodle4google and wanted to find a “forever cure for cancer.” Kaylie's entry did not win the grand prize, but her efforts helped us by providing a spotlight for us to talk about how driven we are to fund pediatric cancer research. It is so hard, without getting overly emotional about the topic, to explain how desperate we...a group of parents who've walked down that unimaginable road of a cancer diagnosis with our child...how desperate we are to push the boundaries and the limits to find a break through that could hopefully help someone else's child down the road! I wouldn't wish the pain that I am feeling on my worst enemy, if I had one.

Some how God hasn't allowed me to have enemies, that I am aware of. Honestly, it is something I've worked at...I try to forgive those I feel might have done me wrong...I do everything I can to turn it over to God if I feel angered by another's actions. It doesn't always work, but I truly can't think of anyone that might hold any animosity to me. My only enemy in this life appeared the day we were told our daughter had cancer. I can only think mean and horrible thoughts towards a word, “cancer.” A word that too many people, adults and children alike, are having to attach to a description of themselves.

__________________
Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
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