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Old 05-21-2010, 11:03 AM   #659
caterinafmig
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Reisterstown, Maryland
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Part Two

I've recently had this reoccurring rambling thought...as most of my thoughts prefer to present themselves this way and rarely organize themselves to where I can easily convey them without thoroughly confusing those I am trying to share them with...but this thought won't go away so I guess it is my signal to write about it and try to give my mind the rest it needs from it. It has to do with two harmless words that I have personally said to myself, used to personally describe myself in hopes of making myself feel better, and many times I've innocently attached these two words to others about their life's circumstances. The two words are simply, “At least...” My mind started to get very deep when I began to dissect and analyze what “at least” means when used at the beginning of a sentence.

As an example of my own life, when speaking of Sicily's death and the emptiness that is felt and left behind by her absence, I, myself, have said to myself time and time again, “At least I still have three incredible kids to love and take care of,”... “at least I am still married to my best friend and feel safe and secure in our marriage,”... “at least we still have a roof over our heads and plenty of food on our table, among other things,”...the “at least” list could go on and on. I think what gets hard for some people is when others start to use the “at least” scenarios and attempt to make them feel better about what they have lost or what may be missing or going on in their lives. Those handing out the “at leasts” are merely trying to help those on the receiving end find reasons to continue to pursue hope and to remember the joys and gifts that still remain in their lives. I honestly think no malice is intended when an “at least” is spoken, even though the receiver may feel that the depths of their situation may not be taken as profoundly as what they are feeling when someone attempts to help them refocus on what is still positive and abundant in their life. I personally find comfort in sitting back and looking for all the “at leasts” in my life.

It is not a materialistic examination of things or possessions...it is not meant to be an exclamation of bragging or boasting or comparisons in any way...but it is merely a chance to take an inventory of God's blessings and gifts. My heart would truly ache if someone failed to find a few “at leasts” in their life. Some may find numerous, overflowing and obvious “at leasts,” while others may find theirs to be simple and somewhat inconsequential (in their own minds), but they are still present if looked for. They still provide a reason to get out of bed every morning...a reason to continue to cherish the life that God gave them...a reason to exist! I think I could verbally roam on this subject until days end but I guess I would sum it up by saying to those who find themselves trying to comfort another with an “at least,” just be mindful, if you can, of how they may take or perceive your means of consolation. And to those on the receiving end of an “at least,” please try letting yourself enjoy, relish and take delight in the “at leasts” you still possess in your life. Also, please do not hold animosity towards someone who may want to help you find or share the possible “at leasts” in your life. It is all about the healing process. It's all about realizing that even though God may have closed a door on you, or many doors for that matter, “He has many rooms in His mansion...” therefore, you have the opportunity to find many other doors that He has waiting to open up for you! “At least” that is my two cents worth!

Okay, I feel a little less waited down now. I think I can go about my day and attempt to accomplish some of the many things on my “to do” list. Or, I could take a nap. Right, like that ever happens! ; ) What I wouldn't give to live the life of our cat, Stowie, for one day! I have feline jealousy, that's for sure! She has it rough! I am thankful the months ahead won't be filled with too much alone time. I think Stowie gets tired of me waking her from her slumber just so I can ask her how she's doing. ; ) Come August I'm sure I will be ready for the quiet atmosphere to return, but for now, I need to feel the presence of life in this house during the day...other than the constantly sleeping lazy kitty cat! ; )

Everyone have a wonderful weekend!

Love to you all!
Kerry

PS – Please remember to vote for Kaylie's doodle at www.doodle4google.com (Region 8 ) so we can have our pediatric cancer rallies heard...through her precious nine-year-old artwork and voice! I have more information to share soon about a fund raiser taking place in Wichita Falls, Texas on Sunday, May 29th for the Pablove Foundation...I will be there! ; )
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Caterina www.colesfoundation.org www.colespages.com www.kidsunitetofight.com
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
America will only be the land of the free so long as it is the home of the Brave
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