Sunday, November 29, 2009 1:45 PM, CST
Third post for today, sorry...THE PRINCESS IS HOME! Daddy is pretty good at twisting arms. My apologies to Dr. K...I promise he won't regret his decision! He “hesitantly” let Patrick bring Sicily home. I think they all know us well enough by now to trust us to bring her back if her fever were to return or any other symptoms arise.
We are literally a short twenty minute drive to the Children's Hospital and plan on keeping bags packed from here on out. This will most likely be a drill we will practice over and over and become more accustom to with this ICE protocol.
Patrick was also told to have me expect to stick around on Tuesday when I take her in for blood work to also need a blood transfusion as her platelets and hemoglobin are getting pretty low. I noticed small little bruises on her legs last night...a tale tell sign! I guess we were kind of surprised to be hit this early with the need, but that also says to me the knew chemo treatment is hard core and powerful...what we need to kick this cancer to the curb once and for all. It's going to be a lot harder on us than before, but we just need to tweak our expectation scale a little and we can handle it.
I'm just happy today, this day, for what we have here at home. Christmas music is playing in the background....a fire is crackling in the fire place...it's starting to drizzle outside under a gray sky...and our house is full of life. We will hopefully attempt to put up the Christmas tree either today or tomorrow. Gotta do a little more “de-cluttering” before that can happen! I did manage to put away the remaining Halloween decorations away last night along with the rest of the Fall stuff. Anyone who knows me knows how much I enjoy adorning anything that will stand still long enough for me to decorate it. It helps with the desire and need to carry on our “normal everyday lives!”
I am asked often “how we do IT...how do we manage everything?” There is really one and only one simple answer... ”By the Grace of God!” My oldest sister has always told me, "God's Grace is sufficient." I don't think I ever really understood that message until now! I will also admit our ability to manage our life is by letting go of certain things. Much to the dismay of my husband, and quite frankly myself, the condition of our house has been “let go of!”
On the outside, I think our house is beautiful. The kids refer to it as our castle...my mom calls it a gingerbread house...I must say it is pleasant on the eye! On the inside, it's an absolute mess...but in my eyes it is a beautiful mess. The rooms are cluttered, but that clutter makes this house look lived in by an active family of six. The clutter consists of graded school papers and artwork that I don't have the heart to part with (yet)...it's dolls sprawled on the floor half dressed...it's multi family dwellings built out of colorful Legos... it's holiday decorations, part of them left over from Halloween, some proudly displayed for Thanksgiving. There are books and papers and medical supplies spread across the kitchen island that is shared with the living room space. There are shoes in every shape, color, and size...everyone's except Patrick's. Clean laundry is usually found in a hamper or strung across the back of the couch, and piles of dirty clothes patiently wait on the floor for their turn at a spin in the washer.
There is no denying our house is a mess, but it's our house where we live and love and laugh and cry, despite the mess. One of these days things will be in order! One of these days things will find their place, unfortunately not on their own so I will have to assist them. I'm still waiting for Mary Poppins to show up at our doorstep and start singing, “Just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down,” as she snaps her fingers and things magically put themselves away! Until then, we will do our best.
My sister excitedly called me one day to tell me of a cleaning company that advertises that they will “clean around the clutter.” I laugh at the thought of that mental picture. After spending fifteen minutes in our house, they'd say “Done...we did the best we could” and hold out their hand for payment. I can clean around the clutter. I just need to deal with the clutter! But right now it's not going to happen because I'm dealing more with another kind of “clutter” in our lives. I don't mean to refer to all of our medical situations as clutter, even though they are responsible for “cluttering up my mind and emotions!” I just need to focus as much of my energy as possible on them instead of worrying about the pair of socks laying in front of the entertainment center. So, to make a long story short, we “manage” by “not managing” (the house, that is!)! This is just the way it is for now and it won't be forever!
So, I'm off to drag a nine foot Christmas tree out of the attic. First I must hunt down one furry feline so she doesn't follow me in there like she did last year! ; ) And I need to "sit on" (figuratively speaking) one little thirty-five pound four-year-old as to not have to make another trip to the hospital. She promised she would take it easy today and tomorrow!
Have a good one and I will try not to make a fourth entry today! ; )