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Old 01-06-2006, 01:44 PM   #6
mommyof2
Crimping Master
 
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Verona, Wi
Posts: 1,080
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Ok, so here are the ones that my husband suggested (they're not original, and I don't know the source):

>THINGS THAT H*LLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
>
>My tire was thumping.
>I thought it was flat
>When I looked at the tire...
>I noticed your cat.
>
>Sorry!
>
>*****
>
>Heard your wife left you,
>How upset you must be.
>But don't fret about it...
>She moved in with me.
>
>*****
>
>Looking back over the years
>that we've been together,
>I can't help but wonder...
>"What the hell was I thinking?"
>
>*****
>
>Congratulations on your wedding day!
>Too bad no one likes your husband.
>
>*****
>
>How could two people as beautiful as you
>Have such an ugly baby?
>
>*****
>
>I've always wanted to have
>someone to hold,
>someone to love.
>After having met you,
>I've changed my mind.
>
>*****
>
>I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
>I never believed in Hell until I met you.
>
>*****
>
>As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
>That you're not here to ruin it for me.
>
>*****
>
>Congratulations on your promotion.
>Before you go...
>Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
>You'll probably need it again.
>
>*****
>
>Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
>
>(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky,
>North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia
>& West Virginia)
>
>*****
>
>Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
>Almost Lifelike!
>
>*****
>
>When we were together,
>you always said you'd die for me.
>Now that we've broken up,
>I think it's time you kept your promise.
>
>*****
>
>We have been friends for a very long
>time ...
>let's say we stop?
>
>*****
>
>I'm so miserable without you
>it's almost like you're here.
>
>*****
>
>Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
>Did you ever find out who the father was?
>
>*****
>
>Your friends and I wanted to do
>something special for your birthday.
>So we're having you put to sleep.
>
>*****
>
>So your daughter's a hooker,
>and it spoiled your day.
>Look at the bright side,
>it's really good pay.
__________________
Judi (mom of Jackson-15 and Hunter-12)
Mom's busy stampin'.......go ask Dad.
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